This fic is a gift for solaleo, who asked for Xander/Cordelia plus 'You came back', having won a fic from the 400 Followers Oneshot Giveaway.
This is set a three years after the finale of AtS
Xander and Cordelia don't quite get together in this, but you can see it from here.
Yes, I Headcanon that Cordelia and Xander used to watch the Princess Bride together a lot when they dated, and that its one of Cordelia's favorite movies. Don't judge my headcanons!
In hindsight, Xander could have handled that better.
But still, when someone is supposed to be dead shows up at your front door in the middle of the night and you don't have a cross or holy water on hand right there with you… slamming the door in their face is a good idea, right? Even if that face belongs to your dead ex-ex girlfriend who remains one of your biggest regrets.
And it was a perfectly normal reaction…
Well, no, normal for anyone who deals with this vampire crap on a regular basis. Otherwise, not so much.
"Xander, get your lame ass back here right now and open this door!" Cordelia shouted, not bothering to knock. Whatever this was, whoever this was, it certainly sounded like Cordelia.
Maybe it's her…
Xander wanted to entertain that possibility, but he couldn't just yet. Because if it was Cordelia… well…
Uncorking the vial of holy water, Xander opened the door and splashed it on Cordelia's face. No burning. No sizzle. Not a vampire.
"Jesus, Xander!" Cordelia wiped the water from her face, "If you ruined my hair, I am going to hurt you, doofus!"
"So not a vampire then," Xander said softly.
"Of course not, dweeb," Cordelia snapped at him. "Now let me in!" Silently, Xander stepped aside, suddenly feeling like he was back in High School. Cordelia walked into his home. Definitely not a vampire. That was a relief.
"Given that you were dead, Cordy, I think I can be forgiven for thinking that maybe, just maybe, you were a vampire or something else not actually you." Xander pointed out, closing the door behind her.
Cordelia scoffed and rolled her eyes, "You want proof? Fine, let's go with something you would never have told anyone else, and something you know I wouldn't have told anyone:" Her tone grew softer as she relayed her chosen secret: "The day before Graduation, when you showed me that newspaper that said the Mayor was gonna speak at our ceremony. You told me you sure you weren't going to get out of High School alive."
Xander swallowed. He never had told anyone else. He'd told Cordelia because he knew she'd never tell anyone. He'd told her that for the same reason he'd told her he did Christmas outside, every year. Granted, she had shared that secret later... but...
By then, he and Cordelia had reconcilled ever so slightly.
"It really is you..." Xander said quietly. Before he could stop himself, he embraced her, giving her a tight hug. Cordelia made a noise of surprise, then returned the hug gently. He should have warned her, or asked, he knew, but he couldn't help it. So many people he'd loved or been close to or been friends with in some way had died. Jesse, Miss Calendar, Ms. Summers, Buffy (technically), Tara, Anya... Cordelia. To have one of them come back... he hadn't been able to stop himself. It was... too much.
After a moment though, he pulled back, "Sorry. I just..."
"After everyone you've lost... it makes sense. It's alright." Cordelia sighed, and then went on: "Which reminds me, I have a message from Anya," Frowning, Cordelia stepped back and slapped him in the face. It wasn't hard, it didn't even hurt all that much. Just a shock mostly. Mostly. His cheek stinging, Xander looked at her, brow furrowed. He opened his mouth, but Cordelia raised her hand. "Not done. You're being an idiot Xander. Anya doesn't want you to be alone for the rest of your life. You've still got decades left to live. She wants you to be happy and," Cordelia rolled her eyes "able to 'have many orgasms before you die.' That part is word for word by the way. So quit the fuck sabotaging every relationship you get in because of how things went with her!"
"And for the record," she added, "I wasn't dead. The Powers that Be took me to a higher plane of existence as payment for one of them hijacking my body."
Xander had one hand on his cheek, not wanting to think about the message Anya had just given him. It had to be Anya – of course she'd think a slap to the face coupled with that message was a gesture of affection. Which it was, in her way. The slap to get his attention, and the bluntness was... Anya. It was...
But he didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to think about it because... Anya was wrong. All that happened to the women he had relationships with was that he screwed it all up and they died. Cordelia and Anya both. There was no point in adding a third woman to the list.
Master of introspection Xander was not, but he'd figured it out himself. No attempt at a relationship has lasted past the third date for him. Apart from a lust-demon induced frenzy with one of the witches working with the New Council that no one (especially him) wanted to think about, he hadn't been with anyone in that time either. And after a six failed attempts at relationships, he'd figured it out.
"Well, clearly you came back from the higher planes."
"They sucked. Only good part was being able to see Doyle again," Cordelia said, her voice going wistful for a moment. "But I got sick and tired of just staying up there and not being to do anything but watch. Everything is going to hell: Angel is screwing Faith – and what kind of unholy nonsense is that? You're another failed relationship away from developing a drinking habit, Willow needs to get the hell out of her engagement that cheating Kennedy bitch ASAP and Giles needs to stop trying to micromanage Buffy. About the only bright spot right now is Buffy's relationship with Spike, and I never thought I'd be saying that."
"It pretty weird to say," Xander agreed with a smile, then, "What the hell are you talking about. I'm not-" Xander was never going to drink. He'd done enough of that after his failed wedding with Anya. Since her death... he hadn't touched a single drop of alcohol.
"You an idiot Xander! And the densest person I know. This one is from me, " she snapped her arm forward and slapped him on the back of the head, Gibbs-style. I didn't know they got NCIS in the higher planes. "Do you even... Xander, you're driving yourself crazy like this. It's not your fault..." Cordelia gestured, "Okay, no, it is your fault we broke up and it is your fault you left Anya at the altar, but it's not your fault what happened to us afterwards. Anya and I both agree on that."
"How can you even say that? How could either of you-" Xander started,
"You didn't make Doyle give me the visions. You didn't make me choose to keep them when Skip offered me a life of celebrity, fame and money," She frowned, "even if it was probably all a lie from him anyway. But I made my choices. Don't be so full of yourself to think it's all your fault!" Cordelia laughed, and Xander realized, for the first time...
She was right.
Maybe it was just because it was Cordelia saying it to him. She'd always been the one who could just... call him out on his shit. Make him see how much of an idiot he'd been.
Anya chose to be human for herself. She chose to stick around in Sunnydale. She chose...
Xander stepped back, nearly falling into a chair as it hit him, all at once. It... how had he not realized it? Good god, how arrogant can I be? I'm usually not so... sure of myself.
"Let's be fair. I mean, dating you helped give me the chance to become who I became, and if not for you, Anya would never have stuck around in Sunnydale long enough to become the person she became, but you were just the... catalyst, I guess. We made our choices." Cordelia pulled over another chair and sat down next to him, taking one of his hands in hers.
Xander took a breath and nodded. "I… I guess you're right. I just… didn't get it until you and Anya slapped me in the face with it."
"You can be pretty dense, but well, it was actually one of the things we loved about you, in a weird way," even as she said that, Xander watched her frown, looking away. "I didn't mean anything-"
Xander held up his other hand. "I get that you don't anymore, Cordy. We're both different people than we were in High School. You didn't come here to date me again." Somehow, he managed a small laugh, deflecting everything he was dealing with just a little bit.
"God no," Cordelia agreed.
"But how did you manage to come back then, anyway?"
"It's a long story. I'll tell you sometime, but the short version? I blackmailed and bullied the powers into letting me come down," Cordelia smirked. "I may not be the same person I was in High School, but I'm still Queen C, baddest bitch to come out of Sunnydale."
Xander chuckled, "that does sound like you." He bit his lip, looking down at their hands. He wouldn't deny that part of him couldn't help but wish Cordelia was here to date him. However self-centered that sounded. He'd loved two women, romantically, in his life. Cordelia, and Anya. It was a miracle he'd found either of them, let alone both. That Cordelia was back…
He'd loved Anya, and he always would, but part of him had also always loved Cordelia. He'd entertained more than once the question of what if, especially in the aftermath of that… failed wedding. What if he hadn't been so stupid, if the Fluke hadn't happened, or if he'd gone to Cordelia immediately after it, dropped onto his knees and begged her forgiveness, rather than carrying on that… whatever it was he had with Willow.
If he'd trusted in his relationship with Cordelia, rather than sabotaged that too.
When he'd actually been with Anya, he hadn't done that sort of wondering, but before and after… well, 'what if?' was always a very tempting question.
"So.. . you're back now then. What are you going to do first?" Xander asked, "I mean, go find Angel and get him to break things off with Faith? I heard you and he-"
Cordelia shook her head, "Yeah. Angel and I were in love, once. But we missed our moment. And… as crazy as I think him and Faith is, all I'm going to do is make sure he's thinking everything through. If he wants to be with her… well, she's exactly Psycho-Slayer anymore, is she?"
"No, she's not," Xander agreed. He'd been hesitant right along with everyone else when Faith had come back to Sunnydale with Willow, but… well, yeah, she'd proven herself. Plenty of times over.
"I'll talk to everyone, and then… I don't know. But that's not what I want to do right now. Right now, I want to order a pizza – that is something I missed in the Higher Planes you know, food! – and watch Princess Bride with you again. Like we used to. I know you have the DVD. We can talk about all this serious crap – including you – tomorrow.
"I do, and.. okay. Sounds like a plan." Xander agreed, seizing the opportunity to shove everything else aside. Pizza and a movie with Cordelia… that sounded very good. "Just… how much did you see when you were up in the Higher Planes?"
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Nothing like that, you freak!" She thwacked him on the chest lightly. "I just know you. Of course you'd own the DVD. I've always been able to read you like a book… bar the once." She held up a hand, "I'm not still angry at you for that Xander. I forgave you, you know that."
"I know," Xander said, though he'd frowned even at the mention of it. "I'm still angry at me for it, just a little bit."
"We'll have to work on that," Cordelia let go of his hand. "But go, go, order the pizza. You know what toppings I like."
Xander smiled, "I do at that."