Dear Yamato,
They all love you. They all want you whispering sweet nothings to them, they all want your hair, your eyes, your lips, your body, your soul...
I'm one of them, of course.
What makes me any different to them? I know music, like you...but many of them are musicians. We have the same birthday? I'm sure some of the other girls do, too.
They say I don't belong with you. "Princess", they call me. Princess with the Geek, Princess with the Nerd...Princess with anyone except the One She Loves. We look too perfect together. We never spoke. I cared about nothing but myself when we first met. I didn't show that I loved you.
I never showed that I loved the others, either, but they don't want to think about that.
I watched you constantly, out of the corner of my eyes. I was so confident, self-assured...yet my will became water when the thought of holding your hand, or even speaking to you, crossed my mind. I just couldn't do it.
When you ran away, when you snapped, I couldn't take it. This wasn't the you that I knew. Something had changed you. Something had hurt you, and oh Yama-chan, I would have given anything to help you. But I was afraid...I'll admit it. I was scared out of my mind. You were so different, your eyes were so cold...I broke down and cried, and left, with the one they said I'd be with by my side, but with you in my thoughts.
I was late to your final battle, but I raced there to get beside you. And we fought, and we won, and we were sent home! Can't you remember how you smiled at me, even through the tears?
Time passed, and I was whisked away. To a land far away, forced to learn a different language, forced to leave you and the others behind. And it hurt, it hurt more than anything I'd ever felt in my life. I squealed and grinned excitedly as I stepped on the plane, and the pain ebbed. It never disappeared, but it was buried underneath all the troubles of a new life.
I returned soon, back to Japan, back to my real life, and back to you. But when I got to you, ready to tell you how I felt...you already had your arm around Her, swearing to protect her forever, Friendship and Love linking.
It tore me apart, ripped me to pieces, my best friend and the one I loved.
I walked the streets of Odaiba during the winter, window-shopping, imagining what you'd look like in that shirt, those pants...and cursing myself for my foolishness. Then the powder snow started to fall...dancing through the skies, turning this city into a fantasyland of ice and snow. I looked up to the sky, catching the delicate flakes on my tongue, then looked down, and across the street...you stood there, waving, calling out my name, asking if I was cold. I said I was, and you embraced me as we walked home. I pressed close to you...you thought I was cold. I knew I was longing.
I listen to her laugh about you, make fun of you, play around about having you. I smile and nod, and play along too, even make the occasional joke. I wear this heavy mask of friendship so well...because I know she'd become so unhappy if she became alone, if she lost you. And I don't want her to be unhappy.
The snow continues to fall as I write this...it was snowing the day we met, too, wasn't it? And with that snow, I felt a fate fall upon me, Yama-chan. This predicament, more heart-wrenching than love, more precious than friendship. You can laugh at me, if you want. I won't regret having to cry over you, because those tears were pure. Snow, pure as my crest, will always remind me of you.
And so we'll live...you will learn to love, and I will learn to have faith. But my life...such a sad fairytale. It will always be without friendship, and the snow will always be falling in my heart.
Forever,
Mimi
~
[notes]
I don't know if Mimi and Yamato have the same birthday. It
just sounded nice.
I used the Japanese names of the crests in this story, so
"purity" refers to Mimi, and "faith" refers
to Jyou
This whole fic was based on the song "Pure Snow" by
Yuko Sasaki. You can read the translated lyrics here.