There are moments in life in which boundaries are crystal clear. You see the end result, you determine what actions will either drive you there or help you swerve to avoid it.
Boundaries are made up of two components. The first being personal comfort, that feeling in your gut that tells you when something is wrong. The second is pure socialization, a list of rules handed down by society, by educators, parents, government - expectations of decent behavior.
When there is a deviation, when someone is taught the boundaries, acknowledges their existence, and yet ignores those moments of clarity, it invites the unknown. It becomes something truly riveting.
Not one of these thoughts was in Edward's head as he shifted his nearly empty book bag over his shoulder. All he could think about was the blur, the sea of faces that parted as he made his way through the entrance halls of Forks High. He wondered if someone, anyone, from that sea of peers would be his friend. He thought, statistically, chances were someone might. But he knew he could break the odds.
Edward felt his foot snag on the rough carpeting of the administrative office, catching his balance with one hand on the doorknob and the other on his knee. He studied the print of the carpet for a moment, noting its purplish color, then straightened. A metaphor for how this new school will go. A fucking metaphor for my life. He knew better than to be embarrassed. At this point, he couldn't be more amused by the awkwardness that was his life. Or maybe he could.
"Oh, that carpet trips everyone up. Most people just avoid the office entirely".
"I'll keep that in mind," he smirked back at the receptionist.
"You look new, are you new?" For a moment, all Edward could focus on was the movement of the receptionist's tight Afro as she bent her head down in search of his records. "Mason, Edward. Correct?"
"Correct"
"Well, welcome to Forks High"
Edward shifted past the first few rows of desks, opting to sit in the middle, hoping to be surrounded by as many people as possible. Maybe if he met enough people, someone would stick. Pulling out his pen and paper, he quickly jotted down English Literature Semester One. He circled One a few times, drawing meaning from the word. A fresh start, new beginnings and all that. Students began to trickle in, glancing at Edward as they took their seats. He never looked up to meet their gazes, but after a few minutes he could feel the air shift from the seat beside him.
"Hi, um, I'm Billy" Edward looked up from his desk. Billy's face coming into clear focus. Kind blue eyes, murky brown hair.
"Hi, I'm Edward," he finished with a smile, hoping he would leave a good first impression. He racked his brain, grasping for the next thing to say, for the topic that would move their conversation forward, when he heard the classroom door pop shut and the voices around them dissipate. Still holding on to the handle, Mr. Hale observed the room.
"I hope your summers are as good as your tans let on," he smiled. Edward cringed internally, he was translucently pale. "I also hope it means you took your summer reading list outside". Mr. Hale's voice was comically flat, his smile still in place. Edward exhaled, knowing he'd probably read all the books from previous school lists. "Also, you may have noticed a fresh face in our classroom. Welcome to English Literature, Mr. Mason". Edward froze, is he looking at me, yes everyone's looking at me.
"We're old friends, actually. English Literature and me, I mean".
"Ah, then English Literature welcomes you back". With that, Mr. Hale picked up a piece of chalk and began his lesson for the day. Examining the male significance in Far From the Madding Crowd. Edward couldn't be any less attentive to Hardy's words at that moment. He was too busy focusing on the male significance that was Mr. Hale. Edward opened up his class schedule, scanning the page for his teacher's first name. Hale. Jasper Hale.
Jasper Hale, Edward would later find via a quick Google search, was twenty-seven years old and a relatively new addition to Forks High. Despite being ten years his senior, Edward couldn't help finding Mr. Hale enticingly attractive. And, as he stared throughout that first lecture, it became clear that Forks High would provide him with something entirely different from his other schools. An infatuation.
The bell rang all too soon, snapping Edward out of his drooling state and into the reality of metal desk chairs scraping tile floors. But then a remarkable thing happened, he heard Mr. Hale call his name. "Would you mind staying after a minute? I'd like to go over some schoolwork".
Coming closer to the desk, Edward could now make out Mr. Hale's finer details. Chocolate brown hair, flat at the sides and shaggy at the top. Blue eyes that could pierce the soul. Edward thought Jasper Hale could wear anything and still be the best thing he'd ever seen. And his grey button down and dark wash jeans definitely didn't hurt.
"You're lucky we're only a few weeks in, or you'd be a more than a few authors behind. As it is, you've only missed Nabokov".
"Lolita?" Edward was surprised; teachers usually weren't so daring in their book selections.
"The one and only".
"I'm acquainted with it".
"Then the battles half won, I'd like a two page summary focusing on one character's arc throughout the novel. You choose the subject".
"It'll be the most riveting two pages on Mrs. Humbert ever written," Edward said, hoping to garner a smile from Mr. Hale. It worked and Edward was momentarily dazzled. Those dimples were riveting.
"I look forward to reading it," Mr. Hale closed the door behind them as they both integrated back into the crowded buzz of the school hallway.
Jasper Hale could not believe his luck. If you could even call it that. What had started off as any other day had turned into one of the most significant of his life. All of that was due in part to a boy with red tinged hair and deep brown eyes. A boy who looked so calculated and yet ready to combust all at once. Jasper could not deny he was far beyond intrigued by Mr. Mason, Edward. A student,
Life, especially in most recent years, had not favored Jasper kindly. Having lost both his parents in the span of the past three years, Jasper had found himself almost completely alone. Almost because he still had his best friend Bella and had, until two months ago, a devoted boyfriend. Jacob, the boyfriend, had failed in one aspect of his title and therefore lost the other. These things, the loneliness, the orphan hood, the betrayal, amassed themselves onto Jasper's shoulders. New doubts began to emerge, will I be alone forever? What will happen when Bella gets married? Who will I have Christmas with then? Oh God, I'll be strange Uncle Jasper, What's wrong with me. I'm hopeless.
And with his focus on red tinged hair and deep brown eyes, the weight on his shoulders collapsed, he was free. Jasper managed to perform his lecture as planned, going through the themes of maleness in Maddening Crowd. But as he spoke, his mind wandered elsewhere. Specifically, to the boy three rows in and sitting peculiarly dead center. He wondered what brought Edward to Forks High, what books he considered his friends, smiling at the sentiment - Jasper had always considered literature close to family. He called Edward to the front of the room on his way out from class.
"Lolita?" Edward asked him. Jasper watched the Ls roll off Edward's lips.
"The one and only".
Edward's hands latched into his dark blue sheets and pulled, keeping himself in place as Jasper pushed into him further. His whole body felt aflame as inch by inch Jasper entered him. Nothing had ever felt this good. Jasper began to rock his hips into Edward's backside, his knees lining up with the back of Edward's thighs. Edward reached his hand back and pulled Jasper in further. Their bodies flush, Jasper reached his arm around Edward's body, whisking his hand over and past Edward's dick, he let his hand rest just below his navel. He pushed his palm in just as he snapped his hips back into Edward. With that one strong motion, Edward's body fell forward onto the bed. With his face down, his ass propped up in the air; Jasper simply grabbed him by the hips and continued his onslaught.
Edward regained his composure long enough to prop himself up on his elbows. Using the leverage, he began to push back against Jasper's lengthy thrusts. He heard a whine escape from the man behind him. He reached down to grip his own cock as Jasper's thrusts became more erratic. He felt legs trembling against his thighs as Jasper began to fall into his orgasm. Edward gripped himself impossibly tighter, wanting so desperately to fall with him. He came.
Edward opened his eyes. Lying on his back, he could feel the fabric of his dark blue sheets sticking to his hips. Covered, no doubt, by a copious amount of his own come. His hand twitched beside the V of his hips, resting after it had found its way to his cock in the night. He'd never come so hard in his life. Especially not from a dream. He brought his fingers to his lips, tasting himself, and imagined what it would be like to actually have been with Jasper. He felt a tingling sensation on the back of his thighs. He hoped it would be just like that. But this time Jasper would be there when he opened his eyes.
The boy got out from bed, wiped himself off in the shower and crawled back under new covers. He stayed up a while later, his thoughts swirling around with the possibilities of Forks High. He resolved to have his experience at Forks be different.
With new determination and a hopeful end goal in sight, Edward approached the English classroom with far more confidence than he had the day before. He was on a mission. Foolhardy, sure, but goal setting is always important. He smirked inwardly at himself as he maneuvered into his seat.
"Hey Edward". It was Billy with the dark hair and blue eyes.
"Hi".
"Saw you pull in this morning. Nice ride, man".
"Thank you," Edward paused, not sure how much to share, "my parent's have a big thing for old cars".
"I have one to".
"A big thing?" The words came out of Edward's mouth before his brain could catch up; the words were out there, hanging. Edward fidgeted nervously, not willing to look up but he could hear Billy's sharp laugh.
"Well that too, but mostly for cars". Finally looking up, Edward could tell Billy was amused. He felt his body relax knowing that he had not yet lost this potential friend. Calm for only a few moments, his body coiled as he heard the sound of the classroom door pop shut. Still facing Billy, his eyes swung to the front of the room and landed on the form of Jasper Hale.
Jasper Hale looked impossibly more delicious today. His brown hair, close shaven at the sides and regular at the top, was twisted into a luscious curl that rested at the top of his forehead. Edward focused on his eyes, noticing a sprinkle of freckles around the base of his button nose. His eyes traveled further down in preference of Jasper's dimples, the result of a smile that happened to be directed right at him.
"Good morning, my fellow degenerates. Shall we start today off with a little fun?" His peers groaned and began pulling out pen and paper. Edward looked around, confused, his eyes landed back on Mr. Hale. Their eyes met and Mr. Hale smiled. He mouthed 'Pop Quiz". Edward smiled back, his eyes never leaving those of Mr. Hale's as his hand reached into the bag beside him in search of his own pen and paper. He was sure he aced the quiz.
When Mr. Hale asked the quizzes be passed down the row, Edward saw his opening. He shuffled his quiz under his pile of papers and considered his next move.
Edward slowly approached Mr. Hale's desk as the last of his peers piled out of the classroom. He felt a moment's hesitation as he watched Jasper glancing down at his own desk, not yet aware of his presence. He took this moment to take Jasper Hale in, his worn cotton shirt, the fading of a logo made unclear by ways of consistent washing. The sharp edges of his tie, seemingly out of place with a shirt and dark wash jeans, and yet, totally right. The muscles in his arms shifted as he moved the papers on his desk from left to right. His shirtsleeve pushed up. Edward thought he saw the edges of a tattoo peek out from underneath the cloth. He moved closer to get a better look when he heard the distinct sound of a throat clearing.
Eyes swinging back to Mr. Hale's face, he wasn't the only one starring.
"Mr. Mason".
"Mr. Hale".
"What can I do you for?" Hopefully, for free. Edward shook his head, clearing it of unspeakable images - particularly of one of himself bent over Mr. Hale's desk. His eyes shifted to the ruler hanging below the chalkboard and then back to Mr. Hale.
"I somehow neglected to, um, turn in my quiz".
"You have a minute?"
"Several".
"Then I'd be happy to grade it for you now," Edward audibly gulped, knowing he did well was one thing, but the possibility of having done poorly and being told so by Mr. Hale overshadowed any confidence he had been able to conjure up previously. He didn't say anything, just waited for Mr. Hale's verdict. After a few moments, Mr. Hale looked up at him, and smiled. "I'm impressed".
Edward's face reddened. "You shouldn't be".
"Ah, but I am".
"Okay".
"Okay," Mr. Hale replied. They were silent for a moment. The electric pause broken by Edward's next words.
"Do you ever wonder why Hardy wrote Bathsheba the way he did?"
"How so?" Edward felt his throat go dry, but was determined to continue the conversation.
"He made Gabriel this unchanging character while giving Bathsheba this amazing arc that would lead her to him. In some ways, I think, their gender roles are totally reversed".
"And there lies the magic of Thomas Hardy," Jasper smiled. "He was always one step ahead of his time".
"How so?"
"I mean, that while Hardy's contemporaries were writing about misguided male adventures, Hardy was able to write from an entirely female perspective. And more so, he wasn't afraid to do it".
Edward thought about it, "I suppose you're right".
"You suppose?" Mr. Hale let out a hearty laugh, his bemused eyes focused on Edward. And before he could think, Edward decided to take the plunge.
"Would you like to hang out some time?" Mr. Hale's eyes widened and Edward felt his pulse quicken as the air became suddenly very still. I can't believe I just asked that. Edward resisted every urge in his body as they told him to run from the room and never come back. He waited what felt like an eternity, his mind flashing through every which way he could kill himself before dying of embarrassment. He slowly eased his book bag over his shoulder, opting to back out of the room before Mr. Hale could respond. Maybe he could pretend this never happened. And then, Jasper spoke.
"Sure," Jasper's, Mr. Hale's, face reddened at his admission. "I'd like that".
"Okay".
Mr. Hale replied softly, "Okay".
Chapter Two Preview:
Jasper walked back to his office in a daze. He could not believe he just did that. I cannot believe I just did that. He reached into his pocket as he sat down in his chair, pulling out the crumpled piece of notebook paper Edward had handed him. When you get digits from a student, that's when you've really hit low. But Jasper didn't really believe that. For some strange reason, he felt better than he had in months, elated, even.