(A/N: This was originally an original story. I found it and inserted KH characters (which are not mine, btw) and tweaked it a little bit and voila! Insta-story. Please enjoy, despite the minor OOC-ness and Kairi getting struck by lightning. I like her, really I do. She was just the unfortunate victim of a plot device.)
The Story of What Happens When the Author Gets Carried Away
By AozoraNoShita
"Nope. Not gonna do it."
"But Sir, you're the main character! You can't just sit here and do nothing for the whole story!"
"Watch me!" The stubborn knight crossed is arms and kicked away the shining silver helmet he'd taken off only moments ago.
Sora narrowed his eyes in annoyance. He shouldn't have made Sir Riku quite so...'strong-minded'. Stubborn, to put it bluntly. Although he had to admit that he looked pretty darn good.
His hair was silver and and shoulder length, tousled from the removal of his helmet. Tall, broad-shouldered, and muscular with shimmering aquamarine eyes. A tropical ocean color, he thought. His armour was bright silver, but not too shiny, to show that even venturing through enchanted forests and cursed castles and windy plains, he could still look good. A sword hung at his hip in a bejeweled scabbard, and nearby stood a noble-looking roan horse with an expensive saddle.
Now if only he would behave...
"Look," the author sighed. "I'm trying to write a story for my mom for Christmas. You are the main character. Now," he pointed at the horse, "go slay the dragon, defeat the sorcerer, and rescue the princess."
"What?! No way! I'll die!"
"No you won't! You're the main character. The main character doesn't die."
"Oh yeah...But I could still get seriously injured," he said.
"Well, I was planning a rather dramatic scene where you heroically take a blow meant for the Lady Roxas..."
"NO. WAY."
"I thought you were supposed to be brave," he accused.
"I am what you made me," he replied.
"Well apparently something went wrong."
They glared at each other in silence.
"I'll go," he said finally, "on two conditions. One, I don't have to wear that stuffy helmet anymore."
"Fine," he said. Under his breath he added, "Even if it made ya look pretty cool."
"And two, you come with me."
"...Huh?" was all he managed.
"You heard me." Sir Riku looked at him expectantly.
"Oh-ho-ho, no. I'm supposed to narrate the story, not be part of it!"
"Well that's too bad then. Without the main character, you won't even have a story."
"I could just imagine up another main character," he said.
"But you know he wouldn't be nearly as cool as me."
"Tch. I didn't make humility one of your strong points, did I?" He sighed. "Fine. I'm going to have to change, though," Sora said, looking down at his jeans and T-shirt.
Riku grinned triumphantly. Sora scowled and got behind a bush to change.
"So...how do you pronounce my name? Rick-oo or Ree-koo?"
"It sounds like the second one: Ree-koo. It's a Japanese name, even though this story is supposed to take place in medieval England," his voice came from behind the bush.
"Where'd you get the idea?"
"Riku means 'land' in my native language. Kairi means 'ocean'. That's your horse's name. It kinda goes together."
He waited a few more seconds.
"What's taking so long?" he finally said.
"The clothing in these times is hard to get into!"
"How do you think I feel in this armour?"
"Shut up."
He smirked.
"And stop smirking!"
After a few more seconds he spoke again.
"So I'm Riku, the horse is Kairi, and you are…?"
"Sora."
"Does your name mean anything?"
"Yeah, 'sky'..." He grunted as he stood up and emerged from the foliage, brushing a few leaves from his new princely outfit.
"Well aren't you fancy," Riku said. Sora sniffed.
"I'm the author, so I get special privileges."
"Sure, whatever. So who's Roxas?"
"The princess you're going to rescue. She was captured by the evil wizard Diz and he's keeping her in a castle guarded by two dragons," he explained.
"What?! TWO?! You said before there was only one!"
"No backing out now," he said cheerily, pushing him towards Kairi. "Let's go."
---
"Wizards, dragons, and princesses, oh my," Riku muttered.
"That's the spirit!" Sora exclaimed. He was sitting behind him on the saddle, one red-clad arm around his waist, the other holding a book.
"Whatcha reading?" Riku asked.
"Manga. It doesn't exist in these times, but it's awesome."
"What's it about?"
"This one's about the reincarnated Vampire King Duzell and his search for the reincarnation of his arch-enemy King Phelios."
"...Sounds interesting," the knight said.
"Mm. The only problem is that he's been reincarnated as a cat."
There was silence for a moment, then Riku started laughing.
"That's—very interesting—" he snorted.
"What's so funny?" Sora demanded, looking up from his book.
"Why are you reading stuff like that? It sounds ridiculous!"
"Well it's not! I—" He was about to say something more, but all that came out was, "Uh-oh..."
"What?" Riku asked, suddenly looking serious.
"Plot twist!" Sora shouted. He dove off the horse.
"Um, I'm still not following you," Riku said, looking down at the author, who was in the fetal position on the ground.
Sora grabbed his foot and yanked the clueless knight down next to him just as a bolt of lightning struck the unfortunate horse and reduced it to ashes, which blew away in a breeze that seemed to have started up just for the occasion.
"My horse!" Riku exclaimed indignantly.
"Darn it, I spent almost an hour imagining that horse," Sora said. He sounded annoyed. "Oh well, it's not like you were particularly attached to Kairi seeing as you didn't know her for that long...Right?" he asked, noticing his troubled face.
"Nah, but still. She was MY horse."
"I see what you're saying. It's kind of a, I didn't particularly like her, but she was still mine! How dare someone shoot lightning at MY horse! kind of thing."
"Yeah." A pause. "Wait, someone shot lightning at Kairi?"
"Well duh. What, did you think the lightning just appeared? There's not a cloud in the sky!"
"Oh. Well, it was an easy mistake…" Riku said, sounding a little sulky.
"Yeah, sure."
"So who shot the lightning?"
"Probably Diz. He is an evil wizard, after all."
"You're right about that, milord," came a cold, sinister voice from above them.
"He's not hovering above us, is he?" Riku asked the author. "Cuz if Diz was hovering above us...that would be really cliché."
"Hehe...Have I mentioned that he has a fetish for clichés?"
"Aw, crap."
A shower of crackling balls of electricity rained down towards them.
They both dove to the side, dodging the powerful barrage of lightning.
"Perhaps I shouldn't have made him quite so powerful," Sora said, panting.
The wizard touched down on the grass and laughed. Up close, Riku could see that he had a long white hair that floated sinisterly around his face.. His eyes were hard and yellow-ish, and his nose and mouth were covered in strange red bandages. From what he could see of his face, he could tell he wasn't old. Actually, he looked to be only middle-aged, and very physically fit. His laugh sent chills down the knight's spine.
"He has a creepy laugh," Riku said.
"Yeah, I shouldn't have made him quite so evil."
Diz spoke again.
"Imagine my surprise when I heard that Lord Sora, our author, was inside the story!"
"Hehe, yeah," Sora laughed weakly.
"You do realize what happens when the author is killed inside his own story?" the wizard asked with an evil grin.
"Umm..."
"The killer of the author gains control of the story," Diz told them.
Riku's head snapped in Sora's direction.
"Hm. Probably shouldn't have made him so smart, either," he said.
The wizard sent a deadly bolt of lightning, meant to be the final, killing blow, right towards Sora, who could only watch it come closer and closer, a look of terror on his face. At the last second, Riku grabbed the hilt of his sword and, in one fluid motion, yanked it out of the scabbard and swung it in an arc to collide with the lightning. It rebounded off the blade and hit the wizard square in the chest. He stumbled back, looking surprised, and disappeared.
"Is he dead?" Riku murmured.
"I think so," Sora replied.
The knight squatted down next to him.
"You okay?" he asked.
"Yeah." A giggle escaped his lips. "I think I'm a bit hysterical though. I thought I was going to die." He giggled again. "If you were a character in one of my modern-setting stories I could make you a baseball player."
"How'd I do that, anyway?" Riku asked, looking down at the sword in his hands. It was still glowing with electric discharge.
"It's a magic sword, of course," Sora told him. The giggling had subsided now, but he was holding his head in his hands and breathing heavily.
"Come on," Riku said, gently hoisting Sora up by his armpits. He kept a steadying hand on his shoulder when he finally managed to stand to make sure he wouldn't collapse.
"Well, thanks for saving me. It wasn't exactly how I imagined the wizard's death, but...It was very heroic. Maybe you're brave after all."
"Hm. I doubt it. I think it was just a fluke."
"Oh well. But it would have helped when it came time to face the three dragons."
"Three?!? You said only two!!!"
"Well, this N.D.E—near-death-experience—has got me feeling creative for some reason. So I'm changing it to three."
"So this is my reward for saving you," Riku grumbled.
"Ha! Next time I'll save myself. I am not a damsel in distress! I am perfectly capable of accomplishing things without your help! I—"
"Yeah, whatever," he cut the author off.
Sora glared at him.
---
"So that's the castle?" Riku asked. He looked over the tall black turrets and crimson banners, looking impressed.
"Yep." They had finally arrived, on foot, at the castle where Lady Roxas was prisoner.
"And, let me guess, she's locked in the highest tower."
"Uh, yeah. Like I said, Diz was very cliché-y."
"Is that even a word?"
"Maybe," he said evasively.
"Hm. What's the castle called?"
"Um…Ooh, haven't worked out that aspect of the story yet. Hang on."
With a snap of the author's fingers, everything stopped around them. The knight looked with awe at the birds that frozen with their wings outstretched in midair. A leaf that had been blown from a branch moments before was stuck by his head.
"Cool," he said.
"A name, a name…" Sora muttered, sitting on a rock with his chin in her hand.
"Ah, just go with the first thing that comes to mind," Riku suggested.
"Um…No I couldn't do that one…Aw, what the heck…" He snapped his fingers again, and time was back in motion, Now, though, there was a sign in front of them.
CASTLE PAPOU, it read.
"You're kidding, right? You named it after a fruit?" he asked incredulously.
"You're the one who said to go with the first thing that came to mind! Besides, how do you know about papou fruits, they don't exist here!" he fumed.
"Plot device. I'm adding humor to the story."
"Oh God. Humor!" Sora threw his hands up into the air in frustration. "Now the knight's funny. Fine! Whatever!"
"Are you okay?"
"Yes," he hissed, glaring at him. "Now you get to go slay the five dragons."
"Wha—No! NOOOO!!!!!" he wailed as the raging author dragged him towards the drawbridge. "Not FIVE dragons!!!"
"Let this be a lesson to you: never annoy the author!"
A large, ornate doorbell was on the stone wall next to the bridge. Sora marched up to it and, using both his hands, pushed it in twice. Slowly, with chains clanking and hinges squeaking, the drawbridge was lowered. The knight and author stood back and watched with bated breath. When the wooden boards finally stopped with a –thunk!- on the ground, they both peered into the courtyard. Five gigantic, deadly dragons stared back at them.
"Hoooooly crap!" Sora shouted. They both dove to the side just as a jet of blue flame shot out at them through the doorway. Scrambling to their feet, they ran back across the plain they had come over and into the forest.
"Okay, you know what? Forget Lady Roxas! There's NO WAY I'm going back there!" Riku shouted.
"Never…again…" Sora gasped, out of breath from running.
They both sat down and waited until they could breathe normally again.
"Okay, here's an idea," Riku said. "How 'bout we ditch Roxas and go do something else?"
"Huh? We?"
"Well, yeah."
"If we're not doing the story anymore, then I don't really need to be here."
"Aw, come on! Please?"
"I could always take away some of the dragons and you could go get the beautiful princess…"
"Huh. She's got golden blonde hair and porcelain skin and crystal blue eyes, am I right?"
"Um, yeah…"
"Did you spend very much time imagining her personality?"
"No, not really."
"Well then I'd rather spend time with you. See, you've got a personality, AND you're cute."
Sora blushed.
"Um, okay. Sure. Why not?"
There was a flash of light and another knight was suddenly standing next to them. He had insanely spiky crimson hair and was looking around disconcertedly.
"This is Axel," Sora explained. "The new main character. I can't just leave Roxas up in the tower."
Axel started off towards the castle, unaware of the dragons lying in wait for his arrival. There was another flash of light and a black horse was there.
"Ooh, is this our horse?" Riku asked. He climbed up into the saddle.
"Yep."
The knight reached down and grabbed Sora's hand, pulling him up behind him. The horse started walking.
"So what are we going to name it?" the author asked.
"I dunno. Wanna give it another name that doesn't belong in medieval England?"
"Umm, sure. How about Yuffie?"
"Works for me."
And they rode off.
The End
Sora looked over the draft of the story.
"Ah man, I really got carried away," he moaned. "It started out as a Christmas present for my mom, and now it's about me and a cute guy." He thunked his head against his desk.
"Are you okay?" Selphie asked.
"I can't give this to my mom!" Sora wailed.
"Why not? Just give it to her anyway."
Sora sighed.
"Okay. But I'm blaming you if she doesn't like it."
"How would it be my fault?"
Epilogue
Axel had easily avoided the dragons (he was fireproof, after all) and gotten into the tower. He didn't know who this Lady Roxas was, but it wasn't like he had anything better to do.
So he climbed the winding staircase of the tallest tower, with his hands in his pockets and whistling a showtune to keep his mind off the terrible cliche. The door at the top was closed,but he could hear a very strange sound coming from the other side of it. Sort of like a a lion's roar except slightly more high-pitched.
He casually nudged the door with the tip of his foot, and peered into the room as it swung open. The room's sole occupant let out a war cry and leapt at him. Axel yelped and raised his arms in defense, ending up sprawled on the floor next to his attacker, whose momentum had knocked them both over.
Well that was unexpected.
A pleasant change from Diz's cliche-y castle.
The person next to him turned towards him and glared.
"Who are you?" the blonde boy demanded.
"I'm Axel; who are you?"
"I'm Roxas."
Axel stared.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah. What's it to you?"
"But you're a GUY." The redhead was grinning like a maniac.
"Of course I am! What, did you think I was a girl?!"
"Yes."
Roxas's face turned red with anger.
"Sora!" he spat through clenched teeth.
"What about him?"
"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM THAT'S WHAT! HE WENT AROUND TELLING PEOPLE I WAS A GIRL AGAIN, DIDN'T HE?!"
"Uh, yeah.Yeah he did."
Roxas jumped up and headed for the door. Axel grabbed his ankle.
"Hey, where are you going?" he asked.
"To go beat up Sora. And Riku, too. He abandoned me in this tower. Knight in shining armor, my foot."
"Sounds fun. Can I come?"
Roxas stared at him.
"Why do you wanna come?"
"Nothing better to do."
Roxas paused, then shrugged.
"Whatever."
With a grin Axel got up and followed his new companion. The very intriguing and kinda short Lady but-not-really-a-lady Roxas.
Things were getting kinda interesting.
He wondered if Roxas knew about the dragons.
---
MERRY CHRISTMAS! Hope ya like it. Or else Sora'll be mad at Selphie.