she shines

This story takes place in an alternative universe where Sirius was brought back after the veil incident. The chapters are going to based on the lyrics to the song The Fragile, by NIN. Hope you enjoy!

This chapter is set at Sirius's POV, and the next it'll probably be from Ginny's…after that it'll skip ahead quit a lot and be from their daughter's.

Disclaimer: Sirius Black belongs to the great and lovely JK Rowling, as does everything else in this story except for the parts of the plot that you don't recognize.

Sirius sat in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place and reflected on what had just happened.

The leaves had turned, Sirius could see as he half-heartedly gazed out the window; it was fall. He sighed and turned his eyes from the window down towards his firewisky. How did I let this happen?, Sirius thought bitterly; he remembered when everything had changed, more than four years prior to the dark night that he was currently facing alone, in what had once been his mother's kitchen..

Sirius remembered that night in the Department of Mysteries, in the Ministry of Magic. Harry had had a vision – because that sorry, slimy git Snivelly couldn't teach him Occlumency properly… -of Sirius being tortured and held hostage by Voldemort, as a way of luring Harry to him. Harry had taken the bait, riding to Sirius's "rescue" bringing along what had seemed to Sirius like half of Hogwarts' students. The Order had been alerted to what was happening and Sirius finally got to be a part of the battle again. He had actually felt, for the first time in years, as though he was actually doing something that had counted.

The first sight that greeted Sirius when he had walked through the doors to the Ministry that night was the littlest Weasley leaning unsteadily on what must have been a broken ankle, cornered by four Death Eaters as she dueled them for her life. That had been the night that Ginny received not only Sirius's respect, but also his admiration. Later, after he had been hit by Bella's stunner and was falling through the veil, it was that scene – that steady look of outrage that Gin had on for the four Death Eaters – that was burning in his mind, somehow proving to him that things actually might be alright.

And things were alright. Sirius didn't know where he had actually gone that night when he passed through the veil, but that never really mattered to him; he wasn't dead, wherever he was. Dumbledore, shortly before his death, figured this out and had found a way to bring Sirius back. So there it was; another chance at life. And this time, he wasn't going to fuck it up.

But he did fuck it up. After Harry defeated Voldemort for the final time at the end of his last year at Hogwarts, Sirius did something incredibly stupid. Sirius fell in love with a witch who was more than twenty years younger than him. To this day he still didn't know which the worst of his actions was; the fact that he completely and utterly loved this girl – a girl young enough to be his own daughter – for no apparent reason other than what could only be called obsession; the fact that he actually acted on his feelings for her; or the fact that she was the child of one of Sirius's most respected friends, Arthur Weasley. Yes, Sirius thought dismally, that was defiantlythe worst bit.

Sirius couldn't explain why or even how he had come to love Ginny Weasley, except by saying that she shined. That year, at the Order's Christmas party was the night that Sirius chose to approach Ginny with his newly found feelings; thinking about that conversation still made him squirm.

"So what you're saying is that you love me, is this correct?" Sirius wanted to run. Not only did he feel like a peervy old man, hitting on one of his colleague's daughters – his only daughter, Sirius corrected himself internally – but now she was mocking him. And she was; her eyes were dancing at him as she tried to suppress giggles, and she had a smile that was growing by the second tugging at her lips. Oh yes, this is going well, Sirius thought angrily.

"You know what? Just forget it, please, dear God, forget it. This was a mistake, my feelings were a mistake, and falling in love –", Sirius all but yelled. Ginny interrupted him, "Did you know, that when your angry your nose twitches?".

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you? Do you go around all day and ask yourself, 'hmm, what is something really unsuitable that I could tell someone at a really inappropriate time that would make someone feelreally uncomfortable? Oh! I know! I could comment on their nasal cavities!'"

Ginny couldn't help but giggle at Sirius's near hysterical high-pitched imitation of what she supposed was supposed to be her voice. "Great, and now she's laughing at me!", he said as he began to bash his head against the hard brick wall that lined the porch outside of Grimmauld Place.

Quickly, Ginny stopped laughing and grabbed him by the shoulders, making him look at her. "Don't do that you git! I didn't say 'eew you disgust me', now did I?" Ginny stared hard into Sirius's stormy eyes, trying to make him listen. "Yeah…I guess…but you started laughing! And mocking me!" Ginny never realized how well Sirius could pout before that moment.

"Because I love you too you fucking dolt, and when you asked to have a word with me in front of my parents at the belldin' Christmas party, I didn't really expect that it would be so that my ex-crush's god-father could inform me that he requited my un-requited love. Jesus, you took me by surprise is all!" Silence wrung out throughout Grimmauld Place's backyard. Finally Sirius spoke. "Well when you put it that way, I suppose that your reaction could be defined as shock…"

Obviously it was meant to be, Sirius snorted.

Despite that night, or maybe because of it, Sirius and Ginny decided to take each other seriously. They started off just sending owls to each other, in an unsaid agreement to try and get to know each other on a more personal level. They talked about their respective childhoods, about how much of a bastard Sirius's father had been, and they talked about how isolated Ginny had always felt being the only girl and always receiving the least attention. They talked about Sirius's time at school and about Ginny's first year, deciding to only briefly mention the Chamber of Secrets. And eventually, they talked about the future. Sirius had finally gotten his name cleared, and had been turned down on his offer to let Harry stay with him because he was taking some time for himself to be alone. Sirius didn't need a job; he had inherited numerous thousands of gallons from the deaths of a few distant relatives who had taken a liking to him. Ginny on the other hand had always wanted to travel, and do something like working with dragons or teaching. Or else maybe designing things; she didn't really know at all yet.

After less than three months had passed, they began sneaking around together. No one knew that they saw each other; they thought better of telling anyone about them…at least for the time. Weeks passed; months. After Ginny finished at Hogwarts she began working odd jobs to save up enough money to open her own store; she hadn't seceded what she would sell there yet. Things weren't always happy though; still no one knew about their secret relationship, and it had started to put a strain on them both. And then it happened, the point at which Sirius fucked up his second chance: Ginny was pregnant.

They had a huge fight when she told him, Sirius saying that they'd never be able to raise a normal child with her being so ashamed of their relationship; Ginny saying that Sirius was too to be able to raise a decent child, and then the final statement that got Sirius to where he was now sitting alone, getting drunk in his mother's godforsaken kitchen; "Yeah? Well then maybe you should have been a good little girl and kept your legs together."

And POOF – she was gone with a rude gesture that told Sirius exactly where he could put his immaturity.

What is soddin' wrong with me?

AN: What'd you think? Sorry if the format was fucked up…this is my first fanfiction and I just wasn't sure about it. Sorry if there were any sort of misstates, and please feel free to point them out. Let me know if you enjoyed it, cause there'll be more to it to come…it gets better, scout's honor D