Glenn glanced at the floor, rubbing at his neck nervously. Rick was pacing the room, clearly struggling to get his temper under control. Eventually he turned to his young friend, sighing. "Damnit, Glenn. What were you thinking?"

"I just…. Uh… W...we… After everything that happened in Woodbury, I just needed to be with her. We needed each other. We talked about things and it just sort of happened, but I couldn't, y'know, not with Walkers watching us…"

"You mean to tell me you stopped to move away from the Walkers, but you still neglected watch duty? Glenn, this isn't some joke. This isn't funny. I trust all of you to keep this place together when I'm not here."

Glenn winced. "I… I know… It… I didn't mean to get carried away. We just needed to blow off some steam after everything that happened…"

Rick sighed, scratching his stubble. He wanted to be furious at the kid for neglecting his duties, but in the back of his mind, he knew he was only leading this group because the Michigan native had saved his life back in Atlanta, when this all started. He owed the boy for saving his life when it could so easily have gone differently. Added to which, he knew he hadn't exactly been giving the group all his attention. It had just been so darn hard when Lori had… Rick shook his head, clearing away those thoughts. He couldn't think about that right now. He'd been slackening off and he needed to step up to the plate right now.

"Man, I know it's hard, and of course you wanted to be with Maggie, but there's a time and place for these things and-"

"Jeez, it was one small slip-up. Let it go already." Glenn didn't usually interrupt people mid-sentence, but there were so many emotions going through his head right now, he really didn't need Rick to dump his crap on him, too. People were dropping like flies around them, every day could be their last, so when he was close to Maggie, feeling her body close to him, he just wanted, needed to make every single moment count. And he wasn't going to apologize for it. He tried to turn away, physically putting some space between the two of them.

But Rick would have none of it. Two could play this game. He grabbed his friend by the upper arm, forcing him back into the conversation. "Glenn, you realise I can't let this go, right? You put the group in jeopardy today."

Glenn scoffed. "Oh yeah, like you haven't done that recently…"

Rick stood a little straighter and pulled him closer, glaring down. "What did you just say?"

Seizing the opportunity to shift the blame on someone other than himself, Glenn shot back, "You heard me. You're never here, and when you are you might as well not be. If anyone's putting us at risk, it's you." He tugged himself free, meeting Rick's glare with one of his own. "At least I don't leave the prison when I'm supposed to be on watch. I was nearby if something went wrong."

"Oh really? You planning on fightin' off walkers, or better yet, the Governor naked as the day you were born? Hmm?"

"Shut up. You know what I meant. Where the hell have you been anyway? We've needed you and you just disappeared. God, Rick, we've all lost people. What makes you so special? You're so busy grieving over a woman you stopped loving months ago, that you're completely ignoring the people who need you. You can't just… People need you, Rick. Carl, Judith, Daryl… Me."

Rick's jaw clenched and he had to fight the urge to shove the kid back against the wall, seeing red. He thought he saw Lori in his periphery but made a concerted effort to ignore the shadow his mind was desperately trying to find. "That's enough, Glenn. We aren't talking about me."

"Yeah, but maybe we should. Where. The. Hell. Have you been?! Answer me!"

"I've been… Uh, I had stuff to take care of... Things that…" Rick stopped himself. He couldn't well say he'd been talking to his dead wife or waiting for a disconnected phone to ring. Hell, he knew he had problems, but he wasn't going to let everything go to pieces while he tried pulling himself together. "Now quit changing the subject. You screwed up, Glenn. I put you in charge of this compound and gave you a chance to step up and you didn't do that. Actions have consequences."

The corners of Glenn's mouth twitched, as if he was trying to get his emotions under control. That had been a low blow. Rick reached out towards him, hoping to reassure him that he'd meant something quite different, but Glenn pulled away angrily. "Don't." He spat, turning away. The guilt of nearly losing Maggie still weighed heavily on his shoulders because of how passionate he felt about her, and he couldn't help but project it onto Rick for not saving them sooner, before things had progressed the way they had. He needed someone to blame and their previously fearless leader seemed like a safe bet. Added to which he was really still angry because he'd let Merle back into their group. Glenn needed time to clear his head, so he half shoved his way past Rick and out the door before he said more things he'd later regret.

Rick watched him leave in dismay, restlessly rolling his shoulders with a groan. Lately it seemed like everyone who'd looked up to him before was now giving up on him. Wasn't he allowed to have his doubts; to question why he was here, why his beloved wife was gone? He'd killed his best friend to save them, for God's sake. Wasn't that enough? He glanced around the boiler room, at a total loss of what to do now. There had been a time earlier this year when he would have taken a tough approach with the group easily, but he just felt lost at sea now.

Glenn's words had cut him deep, because damn it, he'd loved Lori… Fourteen years of being in a committed relationship didn't just get negated because one party was unfaithful. Plus, she'd thought he was dead, that they would never see each other again, and now that he was quite literally in the very same situation, he understood her need to be close to someone. Before she was gone, he'd only pretended to understand her motives, because they needed to move past it, together. But now there was no together, and never would be again. He looked up sadly, hoping his mind would allow him one last glimpse at his dead wife.

"I'm sorry, Lor. I thought I'd have more time. I thought I'd have time to fix things with us, once I'd saved everyone and made a home for Carl, Judith, you, us… Please forgive me. Help me. I don't know what to do anymore… I'm sorry…" He whispered, tired, frustrated tears making tracks down his grimy face. The Georgia sun was hot 'round here, and the air humid. It felt like no matter how quickly he showered and changed clothes, his shirts just ended up soaked again within what felt like moments. The weather had always been similar, but somehow it seemed so much worse nowadays. Then again, everything seemed worse… With a sigh, he wiped a tired hand over his face and went to scout the perimeter. At least that was useful… He'd hopefully figure out what to do with Glenn while he was out there.

center***/center

Glenn heard movement behind him but didn't look up, assuming it was Rick to have another go at him. After a moment of silence he sighed, surprised by the quiet. He glanced over and realised it was Hershel who'd come to perch on the low wall nearby.

"How you holding up, son?"

Glenn grimaced, shrugging. He wasn't sure why, but ever since the older man had told him he saw him like a son, Glenn had found himself responding to the other man's offer of mentorship and reassurance. He loved Maggie, and it felt so good to have a father figure and mentor. Rick had been his idol back at the farm, even back at camp… But then he'd let Merle into the prison, even after what the redneck bastard had done to them.

Hershel watched as an array of emotions crossed his potential son-in-law's face and knew the boy needed to talk to someone. He sent up a silent prayer that Glenn would open up to him and settled in to patiently wait until he was ready to talk. He didn't expect the kid's face to crumple so soon. "I had a fight with Rick," Glenn admitted quietly, looking at the ground.

"Oh?" Hershel responded mildly, raising his eyebrows.

Glenn sighed. "He… Uh… He found out that Maggie and I had left the watchtower unattended. We got a little distracted… It was my fault though, I was on watch but I just… Things are finally improving between us…" He knew it should feel weird to talk about sex in front of his partner's father, but Hershel was quite unlike any prospective father-in-law he'd ever met.

Hershel sighed inwardly. He wasn't surprised it had happened, under the circumstances. It wasn't the first time they'd been caught, though usually Rick and co were fairly understanding about it all. If it wasn't for the threat of attack by the people of Woodbury, the farmer highly doubted the group's designated leader would have taken issue with it, especially in his current state. He remained quiet though, suspecting Glenn knew that as well as he did.

"I just don't think he has any right to judge any of us for our choices right now."

Hershel nodded thoughtfully. "You going to tell me what's really on your mind, son?"

Glenn was silent for a while, considering his words carefully. Eventually he breathed deeply and continued. "I just… I understand that he's going through hell right now, but aren't we all? We've all lost people. I've lost friends and family too and I've not fallen apart. He's always been the reliable one; the one you could trust and respect and who'd always be there and not resent you for needing help. Shane… Shane was pretty steady, but he could be such an ass."

Hershel snorted softly beside him. It was no secret that he hadn't seen eye to eye with Rick's partner. Silence surrounded them and for a moment Glenn missed the distracting chirp of the birds that had sung around the farm, even in the midst of hell on earth. He missed the farm. Things had seemed simpler then and he'd known where he stood. It had felt like having a home again. The prison was secure and an improvement on the wilderness, but it also acted as a constant reminder of everything that had happened in the past eight months.

He swallowed to clear the lump in his throat, speaking quietly enough that Hershel had to strain a little to hear him. "I just expected better of him, I guess. I really thought he'd come to save us, but he let that… that jerk in. Like he was one of us. He'll inever/i be one of us, not after what he did to Maggie."

"Think about that for a moment, Glenn. I would give anything to protect my girls. Anything. I…"

"I know you would..."

"Let me finish," Hershel interrupted, patting the wall beside him. He waited until they were side by side before continuing. "Knowing what the Governor did to both of you makes me want to hurt him. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you're like a son to me. I know you love my Maggie, and I know you would have done anything to spare her from what she experience at Woodbury. She knows that too. She's stubborn, my girl, and she wouldn't have let them hurt you if she could stop it. But you need to consider this from Rick's viewpoint. Think of Daryl. We nearly lost Daryl too because he couldn't give up on his brother. I know it's difficult, and I don't blame you for feeling angry. You're right to be angry about what he did to you. That said, there is more to consider here, I'm afraid." He paused for a moment, to allow his words to sink in before he continued, "We've all made sacrifices this past year, in favour of hope. I refuse to believe that humanity will fall to this. Merle has made a lot of mistakes, Glenn, but I refuse to believe he's beyond help. If God made him, then I refuse to believe he was a mistake, despite what he's done."

Glenn was frowning at the ground, biting his lip. "But Hershel… Rick could have at least talked to me about it. He hasn't even asked if we're okay! He didn't talk to us about Merle, he just decided. I thought I could trust him…"

"That's a decision that only you can make. I can't make it for you, but I would ask you to consider the sacrifices that man has made for us. He took Shane down to save our group. He led us here. While I think he made mistakes where Lori's concerned, he did the best he could by us in the circumstances. That man has one of the strongest moral compasses I've seen in a long while and y'all better believe he tries to do what's right every single time. I bet he's got a reason behind his decisions that we don't realise, he cares about everyone in this group and he of all people wouldn't toss us aside for an outsider. It's your decision whether to trust him, but think about the bigger picture, son."

Glenn nodded thoughtfully, trying to process the older man's words. "I'll try. I guess it's just hard seeing him like this."

"It is. I have faith he'll make it through, but he'll need us to not give up on him. I think it would do you good to speak to him about things, clear the air. He's a fair man, I think he'll understand."

"He's not interested in talking. Not like he used to be. What he says goes and that's the end of it."

Hershel smiled, reaching out to pat the Korean's thigh in reassurance. "He can surprise you. His sense of right and wrong is too strong, whether he says this isn't a democracy or not. If I know Rick, he's kicking himself internally for hurting you like this."

"You think so?"

"I do. Like I said, talk to him. He might surprise you. And Glenn?"

"Yeah?"

"It was stupid leaving your post during watch. How would you feel if we'd been attacked so you could give in to desire for ten minutes?"

"It only took…"

"I don't need to know the specifics. She's still my daughter. All I'm saying is that if I know you as well as I think I do, you would be distraught if you thought you'd breached our defences and left the people you care about vulnerable. If Maggie had been hurt, or Beth. Rick knows that too. You young men think you gotta do everything in silence and look strong and macho. People have a lot of respect for a man who can admit he made a mistake and who wants to learn from his errors. You'll work this out, I believe in you."

Glenn smiled weakly, surprising Hershel with a hug. "Thank you," he whispered before pulling back and sighing. "I guess I should go find him…"

"Take your time, get your thoughts together. He isn't going anywhere. Neither are we." Hershel stood with his crutches and squeezed Glenn's shoulder before turning and heading back indoors. Glenn watched him go with a sigh, resting his head against the fence beside him. He'd always hated conflict and this new life he was leading had already forced him to change and steel his resolve more than he wanted to. He decided to take Hershel's advice and wait a little longer before he tried to approach Rick, just in case the older man was still angry.

center***/center

Rick looked up from where he was checking the fences were secure, surprised to see Hershel hopping towards him. "Hershel," he called by way of greeting. "Everything okay?"

"It's a nice day out here today." The old vet lowered his voice as he came closer. "It feels good to enjoy the feel of the sun on your face knowing you're safe from walker's attacking you."

"Hmm" Rick remarked noncommittally but Hershel didn't miss his friend's muttered comment about walker's not being the enemy anymore.

"I hope you don't mean Glenn, son."

Rick looked at him in dismay, "You heard about that, huh?"

"Of sorts. Maggie seemed upset when she came to the common area earlier. Well, more so than usual these days. I got a feel for what had happened and figured things had gone south when neither you nor Glenn reappeared."

Rick grimaced. "He didn't appreciate me interfering. Then again, I can't really blame him. It's not really my place now, is it?"

"Why not? You're still the leader of this group. It's as much your place as anyone else's. Actually, I think he needs you to stop avoiding us. He's taking this situation at Woodbury badly, Rick. Now, I can't go speaking his mind, but you two have always been close. He needs a friend and mentor now more than ever. I understand you're hurting right now, but you need to step up to the plate or I'm afraid this group will fall apart."

"I can't… I don't know what I'm doing any more. Everything's all wrong now."

"When I lost my Josephine, I didn't think the world could go on without her. Hell, if it hadn't been for my Maggie, it wouldn't have. She needed me. She still does…" Hershel sighed, stroking his beard thoughtfully. "I know it hurts, but you have two children who need you now more than ever. You have a family here, with us. It sounds awful cliche but it does get easier, son. Not for a while, but you find reasons to live beyond the pain. There's always hope."

"Is there though? What are we doing here?" Rick cast his eyes across the prison grounds. "We're all dying, whether it's today or tomorrow. It's just a question of how."

Hershel contemplated for a moment, then answered, "When you brought Carl to me after he'd been shot, Lori wanted you to let him go. Despite being his mother, she was ready to give him up, but not you. You fought for that little boy's life because you refused to believe there was no hope left for him. Why should he deserve to have no hope now?"

For a minute, Rick just stared at him. Sure, Hershel was known to be honest, but he hadn't expected anything quite this blunt. Rick was silent, unsure how to respond to that. He sighed after a moment, shrugging. "I don't know. I just don't know any more, Hershel. I don't know what to do about Michonne, and I don't know how to make all this right. I led us here and Glenn and Maggie got hurt. Maybe Carl was right, maybe I should step down."

"I don't believe that. I think you place too much on yourself, Rick. I know you didn't ask for this, but you're a natural leader and we all trust you with our lives. Glenn needs to know that you still care. I faced many arguments with my girls - especially Maggie - because they needed my attention. They needed me to see them and confirm I was there and constant and that I would protect them. Glenn's just been through an ordeal that I can only imagine having to go through. He needs to know he's safe and that this family has him. We might have all been thrown together in desperation but we are a family now, Rick. Don't withdraw from us now, not after everything we've faced together."

Rick didn't speak but Hershel could see his words were permeating the younger man's tough walls. He sighed, standing up straighter. "Well now, this old leg of mine could do with a rest. I think I'll head inside and check on Judith. Talk to him, Rick. You can sort this easily enough."

With that, Hershel took his leave, recognizing that Rick needed time to think about what he'd said and to decide how best to make amends with Glenn.