Like a Lullaby
By: Tenshi no Nozomi
Contact at: tenshi_no_nozomi@hotmail.com
Disclaimer:
Once again, I do not own Sailor Moon or Weiss Kreuz. There isn't a whole lot of plot to this, but what little there is... it's mine, simply put. Just remember that it's wrong to steal what people work hard on... so keep that in mind if you feel the urge to copy for some inane reason.
Warnings:
Angst, possible spoilers, some mild waff. Be forewarned that their ages differ signifigantly from this point on!
Setting:
Japan... about ten years has passed since 'Sepia and Gray.' Which would make Schu about 32 years old. Usagi's roughly 16, having been reincarnated shortly after she died.
Pairings:
Schu x Usagi, mentioned Mamoru x Usagi
Author's Blurb:
Okay, I'm going to (try to) make this quick... yes, this is the sequel to Sepia and Gray! ^^ I'm sure some of you are happy about this? Maybe? I guess this point is that I managed to come up with a semi-decent idea for a sequel. I just hope I can make it as good as the last one.
I plan on to leave the replies to peoples' reviews on the bottom, but I would like to thank that following people for being so kind as to tell me the emergency numbers: Igna, Lady Espelle, Liz, and Usagi Serenity Yui Cosmos. I'm sure there were more, though, and I'm sorry if I forgot to list you.
I'd also like to take a short moment to apologize to anyone if I offended them by writing that all the streets in Germany are grey... I should have been more careful with my wording, perhaps, but I only meant to tell the story from they eyes of a boy that's orphaned, lonely, and jaded at a very early age.
With that said... Please enjoy yourselves! Don't forget to review so I can tell how good or bad I did on this... Also, this will be a bridge to the next sequel, which I intend to make a multi-chaptered work... though, hopefully, a small one.
Schuldich, like most others, was controlled by both forces... but unlike those other people, he had more reason to be afraid of those forces than most did. That was, of course, if Schuldich could be frightened much anymore. He wasn't quite sure anymore.
At the age of thirty-two and getting older still, Schuldich was contemplating what he was going to do. He was leaving the prime of his life, and although he remained quick and limber from constant training, he wasn't as fast as he had once been. His powers remained strong, but as an assassin... An assassin's life depended too much on speed, agility. Despite the need for these traits, though, entropy was slowly weaving its dark spell over him and he was slowly leaving behind the prime of his years.
It wasn't dangerous, yet, of course, or else he would have been killed himself by his employers. After all, they had no room to hire a tiring and sloppy worker. Crawford would probably be gone even before him, so he'd have warning in advance... but what would it leave him with in the end?
Schuldich looked around, observing the scenery without taking too much time to linger on it. The sweet fragrance of Japanese Honneysuckle permeated the air, rich in aroma and attracting a small swarm of bees to their nectar-filled flowers. The night air was warm, and crickets chirped softly. Yes, Spring had all but faded to Summer, and soon enough children would be out of school for the Summer.
He had never known what it was like to lead a carefree, seemingly careless life. Those were luxuries he'd never had, and maybe if he'd cared he might have been jealous. He'd grown up feared by everyone he'd met, or else despised or ignored. There had only been one person that had thought of him as special, and he'd left her die to alone.
She'd never blamed him, of course. For some reason that he'd never figured out, in her eyes he'd hung the moon. He didn't need telepathy for that, not when it was obvious from the look in her eyes.
These, of course, were old regrets. He hadn't paid for his sins yet, but he was sure that sometime in the future... If there was such a thing as karma, Schuldich wasn't bound to have a good one. Indeed, if ever he were to have to pay for his crimes, it would probably be a fate worse than hell.
Schuldich lit up a cigarette and deeply inhaled the nicotine before blowing it back out. The smell mixed in with the honeysuckles, intertwining to become a new scent. Something sweet but slightly jaded, tainted... He snorted when he realized what he was describing- his relationship with the girl that had been Usagi.
It wasn't as though everything could continue as it had been before. Nagi could still manage well in the assassin business for a while longer, but he had talent with other things. Why would he want it? Crawford could undoubtedly continue on in some other occupation, though it would have to be something that paid well. Poor Farfarello had been caught two years ago and placed back into another insane asylum. They could have broken him out, but the Irish man was even more out of his mind than he'd been in the years before and would be considered a danger to himself and the team.
So that left him, Schuldich. If Schwartz completely disbanded- which he knew Crawford had been considering- what would he do? He had enough money to provide for himself comfortably for the rest of his life- assassin's work paid quite well. What would he do with all that free time, though? Yes, he could go out and drink and smoke and do drugs and have sex- hell knew his internal organs were probably already in such a state of disarray that he'd die of one form of cancer or another.
The truth was, at least with what he did, he had some kind of aim in life. By making his victims miserable, he somehow felt better about his own absence of happiness. That was, of course, if there was such a thing as 'happiness.' Having the ability to see into the minds of others had shown him that happiness was a fleeting state of mind. Maybe there was nothing in life to hope for, nothing worth living for...
He exhaled again, watching through narrowed emerald eyes as the puff of dirty gray smoke drifted up and dispersed into thin wisps. Nothing to live for? Oh, he lived for a few reasons. The most important of them being that he didn't deserve as good as a life as he had now. He'd destroyed the only person whom he had cared for and returned the feeling for it- it would have been a desecration of what she'd been to him to just waste his life.
That left the argument of whether or not he'd already wasted it. He certainly hadn't picked a noble path to follow. What was done was over with, right? That was his sentiment. Why, though, was he haunted by the memory of a little slip of a girl who had died young?
Maybe it was because she had given him what he'd wanted- a friend. She'd sacrificed her own needs and wants in order for him to do as he pleased. Even down to the very end she'd been everything but selfish, and he'd heard in her mind what she really wanted. Somehow, despite her obvious desire for him to stay, she'd managed to ignore her selfish thoughts and let him go.... He knew quite well that if it had been him he would not have been so gracious; she probably would have been right there beside him till the very end. It wasn't likely that she would have had it any other way.
Schuldich shifted, rearranging the way he sat on the bench. It wasn't exactly comfortable seating in Schuldich's opinion, seeing at the rows of metal didn't conform to the shape of his legs or bottom. It probably felt something like one of those chairs in school with the melded shape for a body that never seemed to be the right size. (1)
It was peaceful and still here, the wind occasionally stirring the leaves of the trees to make a hushed sound, like the whisper of a voice. The occasional breeze felt good against his skin, but also had a habit of destroying the smoke rings he sometimes made to amuse himself. The lake lapped quietly at it's banks, the occasional ripple breaking on its otherwise glass-like surface from a fish jumping out of the water. The reflection of the moon was slightly distorted, but the light shone brightly all the same. The soft night noises of frogs and crickets and the occasional hoot of an owl might have lulled him off guard- it sounded like a small symphony playing just for him- if he hadn't been trained to always be aware of his surroundings no matter what.
That was why Crawford's voice didn't surprise him when it broke the calm. "As much as I generally encourage you to think, seeing as you rarely ever use your mind for what it's worth, I have to interrupt your inner monologue." Oh, wasn't that just witty of him?
Schuldich realized that his cigarette was down to its filter and tossed it casually onto the ground. He ground out the still-smouldering and glowing butt with the heel of his foot. He was satisfied when only a few small wisps danced up from the ground. The richly green blades of grass began to slowly pop back up, heavy with dew, to begin to discreetly hide his litter.
"Can it wait," he asked, partially just because he loved to irk Crawford. Schuldich would be the first to admit that he was something of a bully, and more than a bit in the way of sadistic. It was hard to make Crawford really mad or to make him show any sign of anger, so Schuldich took every chance that he got. Another reason behind his excessive drinking.
The American frowned reprovingly at his smoking and blatant nonchalant attitude. Schuldich wondered absent-mindedly which one bothered the control-obsessed American more. He took another deep drag of the rich smoke before releasing it in the form of smokey ring. He watched it drift upwards and then slowly dissipate into nothing. He blew another, thinking of it in an amused manner as his own halo. A smoke halo or one made of thorns seemed appropriately for a demon such as he. He smirked just barely at this thought; Farfarello would have found that vastly amusing, most likely. Crawford just scowled at him, moonlight reflecting off of his glasses for an eerie effect.
He was dressed just as sharply as normal, as though he were headed off to some emergency meeting somewhere in the dead of night. Schuldich had to give Crawford some credit for being able to look good in a suit and to manage to keep them clean no matter what he did. Still, there was something distinctly irritating about the immaculate order that the older man had somehow imposed on himself, both inwards and outwards. There wasn't a psychic who could breach his mental defenses unless Crawford deigned to let them.
"You were supposed to show up at the meeting tonight," the older man told him, as though he really needed to be told. Schuldich rolled his eyes; surely what with his Sight Crawford should have known he wasn't going to show. He knew that Brad wasn't slipping, because he could still predict a good job from a bad one.
"So," he replied in a blase fashion, shrugging his shoulders in a devil-may-care motion. He didn't have to have telepathy to know that his attitude was plucking on the American's last few nerves. Not even Nagi was as insolent as Schuldich was- but then again, there was only one Schuldich in the world.
He contemplated going to a club later if Crawford decided to leave him alone. There was something comforting about the falseness of a nightclub. It was in the cheap colored lights and the music that sounded good only because the bass was turned up high enough to break the dancers' eardrums. The feigned cheer was a respite from reality. He imagined that he'd probably find a partner to take to bed that night, and continue faking that he actually cared about someone.
"If you had bothered to show, then you would have known that Schwartz has one last assignment before it's disbandment." Schuldich cocked an eyebrow; he'd seen it coming, but he hadn't realize it would be quite so soon. Apparently time was wearing down on all of them, and they had no choice but to subside. Schuldich, however, had been saying ever since Farfarello had been put away that they weren't really and truly Schwartz, but he figured that it wasn't the time to mention it. There was some significance to the idea that this would be their last mission as a group.
What really shocked him, though, was that Crawford was willing to speak about this out-loud in a public place. A park wasn't exactly the place to announce a scheme to a fellow conspirator plans- or even that there was a plan- that would likely to the death of someone. "Ja," he said, nodding, accepting it in a resigned matter. What else was supposed to say?
Crawford shook his head slightly in dismay. He looked world-weary, somehow, which seemed odd. Crawford had a special ability to gain and work with the two things he loved most- money and power. It was a knack that the American had, Schuldich supposed. "Come by my apartment tomorrow morning and I'll debrief you," the older man told him before walking back the way he'd come.
He knew without having to be told that Schuldich was, indeed, interested in this mission. In Schuldich's opinion, once you became a part of the team, you stayed as a part of a team. That of course was the influence of growing up with a gang of children, but the method had worked- that was why Schuldich had been the only one who had really protested Farfarello being allowed to be locked up. The plan, however, meant that he'd have to get up in the morning nice and early... which in turn spelled out that Schuldich wouldn't be out partying all night.
Shuldich found that he was finished with that cigarette, too, and ground it out impatiently next to the first. Littering was considered some kind of legal offense, and he was sure if a cop could catch him doing this he'd be in for some kind of trouble... but he pitied the cop that tried to charge him. Schuldich frowned when he saw that he'd finished up that entire carton of cigarettes; he'd have to go and buy some more.
On a second thought- more of a whim than anything else- Schuldich called out to Crawford's retreating form. "Brad, you might want to invest in some of that hair-dye for men," Schuldich suggested, grinning from ear. "I think I saw some gray hair." For that, he received a glare that was probably at 30E below zero. 'He ought to patent that glare,' he thought to himself, smirking in triumph. 'He could make a lot of money off of Abyssinian.'
The American continued to walk in the opposite direction, looking anything but bothered by Schuldich's comment. Schuldich, however, knew that the American would be up half the night looking for the alleged gray hairs. He considered it payback for having to get up in the morning.
Somehow, though, he didn't much feel like having that change of scenery after all. The falsity of a nightclub- which had sounded pleasing only moments ago- seemed empty now. Perhaps it was a sign that his whole life was empty. If that was the case, he wasn't likely to find some fulfilling thing anytime soon.
Schuldich got up and brushed imaginary dust off of his pants before setting off in his own direction. He'd go buy a carton of cigarettes from a gas station so that he wouldn't have to suffer through the lack of nicotine before he went to Crawford's in the morning. Then, he imagined, he'd go and lay down in his big empty bed, and wonder why things had turned out- and continued to turn out- they way they did.
Usagi awoke with a jolt from her dream when she fell off of her bed and onto the floor, which happened to be littered with manga and unopened textbook. She groaned and clutched sleepily at her arm- her funny bone, in particular, which she'd managed to hit when she landed. She looked blearily and watched the clock on her dresser show the blinking numerals 4:25 while she grit her teeth in pain. Groaning, Usagi climbed back into bed; seeing as it was still dark out, she could safely assume that the clock meant in the morning and not the afternoon.
Usagi laid back down, attempting to ignore the pain in her arm and go back to sleep. The harder she concentrated on trying to go back to sleep, though, the more awake she became. Usagi finally kicked off her covers in disgust and sat up, cradling her still-aching arm to her chest.
It was a shame that Usagi couldn't go back to sleep, because she'd been having a wonderful dream. Although most of her dreams were filled with either food or her Mamo-chan, there were a few... different ones that she'd been having since she was very little- often times what people called 'recurring' dreams. The funny thing was that the same person who appeared in her most wonderful dreams also appeared in her most frightening nightmares as well.
Tonight it had been a more than pleasant dream, however there was an atmosphere of strangeness lingering on the edges. The red headed boy with the green eyes had appeared to her again, although this time he seemed much older- normally when she saw him in dreams he was somewhere around her age. This time he'd looked like he was in his twenties at least. Upon his back he was adorned with a pair of velvet black wings that cast off rainbows from their feathers, a bit like the crows that Rei kept as pets.
In her dream, he had held her, and she had briefly forgotten the whole world. There had been nothing but a pair of strong arms around her and black feathers sheltering her from the outside world. His voice had crooned softly in her ears, a loving sound that resembled a lullaby a mother would sing to her child. Everything had been soft, melodic, and comfortable, right up until her rude awakening.
The boy had never felt like a father to her, though. In every dream he'd been her companion, her friend, the other half to her, the part of her that she had always missed. In that dream, he'd seemed more like a lover. He had embraced her in such an intimate manner that it was almost shocking. It had felt special and secret, and she had almost felt the protective feelings rolling off his body.
Her other dreams had seemed more like memories, a bit more distant but certainly more realistic. Even if they turned out to be nightmares- which they sometimes did- it was okay so long as he was there. The worst one was when he left, was when she was dying and he left... even though she had a feeling that she'd let him go. It was so lonely and frightening in that dream, and she woke up only just before she died- enduring what seemed to be a feverish state filled with hallucinations that seemed like forever.
Usagi rested her head against her bent knees, thinking things over. She didn't experience these dreams too often. Most times she received a dream with him in it once, maybe twice a year- that was one of the reasons they were so special to her. Lately, though, the dream with the boy with the wings of a demon kept coming to her- and that was what those wings reminded her of, of course- great, beautiful but deadly wings possessed by a demon. She wondered absently if it was some kind of warning.
Luna would probably want to know about these dreams- she'd probably think it was some sort of premonition. Rei had been lecturing them just the other day about how important it was to be aware of dreams and feelings- they were becoming more powerful gradually, and perhaps they would receive visions that might give them helpful clues. Usagi herself didn't understand why they needed clues hinting towards the future since there hadn't been anymore youma attacks in quite some time, plus the future seemed pretty much laid out for them to follow. She figured, though, that such a simple matter wasn't worth fighting over.
Luna, however, was quick to sound the alarm. When they'd first met Ami, even, Luna had suspected the young genius of being a lackey for the Dark Kingdom. In the end, she'd turned out to be an ally, and a dually powerful and useful one at that. The guardian cat should have been able to recognize Mercury's power, in her own opinion, but it wasn't worth going over since it had happened some time ago. (2)
Usagi laid back down and stared up at the blank white ceiling, hands crossed behind her head. If she was completely honest with herself, then the real reasoning behind her never telling anyone about the dreams- despite possible meanings behind it- was the simple fact that she didn't want to share him with anyone else. From an early age, Usagi had grown fond of the visitor in her dreams. She had mentioned the boy once to her mother and once to an old friend in pre-school, but never again. Not after the little girl had gone around pretending that she had an imaginary friend by the name of the boy from her dreams- Schu.
Usagi turned onto her side restlessly and frowned. It was actually a very stupid thing, because no one else had really cared besides her. She'd ended up getting put in timeout, however, after Usagi'd cut the other girl's hair in frustration. But since then, he'd been her own private fantasy, she supposed. Fantasy wasn't quite the right word for it, but she couldn't think of a better one for it... it just didn't seem to do the fact that she adored him so deeply.
She smiled softly to herself. How funny, that her first love was a figment of her imagination. She opened her eyes, looking out across the darkened room sadly, not really seeing her surroundings. She still loved him, in all honesty- perhaps, she realized, slightly shocked... Perhaps a little more than she loved even Mamoru.
He was, after all, her beloved playmate from childhood. Sure, she only saw him in dreams, but even in her waking hours, she could almost feel his presence around her. All of this sounded ridiculous, and even she knew it... but as a child, she'd never had another imaginary friend but him. It had even seemed that as she grew up, he grew up with her- though he'd always been a little older than she.
It seemed like a crying shame to her that Mamoru didn't seem to love her the way this character in her dreams did. Oh, Mamoru loved her in a way, and he was protective of her... But it was more like a brotherly feeling. If there had been any passion in the beginning, then it had died quickly, like a flame doused with water. She didn't blame him; Mamoru was mature, and he didn't like having to rescue a younger, naive girl at the drop of a hat. Something told her, though, that if her beloved 'Schu-chan' were the one looking after her, he wouldn't have to rescue her.
Sleep hadn't completely subdued her, but Usagi could feel the waves of exhaustion creeping up on her again. She should have been relieved, since she had school in the morning and didn't need to be falling asleep in class anymore than she already did, but she felt disappointed. She wasn't the kind of person who thought everything over like Ami, and sometimes her decisions were based purely on logic, either- in fact, most times, she was prone to following what her heart told her. It hadn't lead her wrong too many times to be called unreliable, at least.
She needed to think things through, though, because she had a feeling that even though school was winding down for her for the year... something big was going to happen. She didn't know if it was related to Schu or not, but it seemed almost like too much of a coincidence for the dream to have changed so dramatically so quickly. It had felt more dreamlike than real than per usual, and if you counted the quick aging... it was almost enough to make her sound the alarm.
Usagi yawned and wiped at her bleary eyes lazily, turning her head to look out the window and up at the silvery, lone orb in the sky. Whether or not the moon actually helped her to solve her problems or not, she always felt a bit more calm and secure when she was looking at it. She bit her lip in hesitation, debating her choice. 'Maybe I should talk to Luna about this...' Even while she considered that option, though, she didn't want to.
She rolled over onto her other side and buried her head into the pillow. Yes, she was tired now, and more than ready to slip back into the sweet sensation that was unconsciousness. She closed her eyes and began to slip off, comforted by a few thoughts.
The dreams always came to her when she was feeling a bit stressed or off, even sometimes unhappy. They often helped to make her feel happy and spunky again. Even if these hadn't quite had the same effect as the previous, that was okay, too. In little less than a week, they'd be off for the Summer, and her parents had made reservations at a beautiful beach house... it would be beautiful. The weather, perfectly warm and sunny for tanning and swimming, and the freedom to go about in a bathing suite... Or rather, she thought with an amused smile, the freedom to go out in an oversized t-shirt with her bathing suite on underneath, simply because her father was a bit overprotective.
She slipped off, back into never-never land, and was greeted by yet another dream. This time she stood in front of large bay window, with curtains flapping gently in a summer breeze. Drawing the curtains back, the view looked out over an aquamarine ocean and cerulean sky. Wispy white clouds drifted by and Usagi felt at peace simply by watching the scene. The waves crashed against the shoreline and withdrew to batter against the sand like the enigmatic force that was the moon decreed.
A vague reflection of herself looked back at her, and Usagi could see she was wearing a cream colored sundress. On closer inspection, one could see subtle gold pattern of flowers across the garment. It made her skin and hair look golden, and her eyes stood out as a startling blue.
There was a noise behind her, and she turned around, hair swaying with the motion. Vaguely, she realized that for a dream, it seemed incredibly real... but the thought was swept away by the sight in front of her. There was a small couch in the middle of what one might call an other-wise bare room. Curiously, there was an identical window on the opposite side of the room, as thought she was looking into a mirror. The couch itself wasn't too noticeable, seeing as it's off white color didn't stand out very much from the rest of the room. Rather, it was occupant that drew her attention.
The stark blackness of his attire was almost blinding in comparison to the rest of the white, gold, and blue scenery around her. It almost hurt her eyes to look at, and she'd say it didn't belong... accept that it did, oddly enough. The contrast was beautiful and balancing.
At first she almost didn't recognize the figure lounging quite lazily over the couch. At first she mistook him as a stranger, till those watchful eyes met her own. She realized with a jolt of surprise that it was no stranger at all, but the boy she had named 'Schu' all of those years ago. It had thrown her off that he hadn't been wearing his devil's wings now as he had been before.
He sat up slowly, drawing his kicked-up legs down and coming to a sitting position although his eyes had never left hers. They held her still, almost as if she were under a spell, waiting for him to make the first move. She hadn't realized just how green his eyes were, they were gorgeous. They seemed dangerous, though, somehow, razor sharp and aware... and predatory, like a hungry animal might look at its prey.
"Come here," he told her, his voice infinitely loud. Her eyes widened in awe. Never, in all her dreams and 'memories' had he spoken to her before. His image's mouth moved, and she knew what he was saying... but she'd never heard his voice. She was suddenly aware that if her 'Schu' were a real person, then this was the closest to him she'd ever been.
She began to move toward him slowly, limp fingers dragging against the soft billowy curtains that felt like satin to the touch. She moved like a sleepwalker or a person under hypnosis, drawn to her destination without conscious realization or the ability to resist. She wanted to run, but her legs felt weak and unable to support her weight as it was. Tears pricked at her eyes, and unknown emotions threatened to make her break down and cry. She didn't take her eyes off of him, though, and she stood just in front of him, barely out of his reach.
He smiled languidly at her and she trembled visibly, feeling like the small bird trapped in the gaze of a cobra ready to strike. She should have been afraid, and maybe on some level she was... but not of him. If anything, she felt a sense of wonderment and excitement- and there was an odd wrenching feeling in her chest, a feeling that after a long time of being away she was finally home. He held out his arms to her, an open invitation to go into his embrace.
Her fingers still held the very edge of the curtain, and she knew that it would only take a single movement forward for her to let go of the pure white world around her. His eyes blazed, and she had a feeling that behind those emerald eyes there were flamed burning. She wondered half-heartedly if that meant she was moving toward hell or heaven... but decided that it didn't matter which. She took the plunge, and released the curtain's hem. She half collapsed into his embrace, more than ready for whatever it was that she would find there... but fell into darkness.
Both dreamers woke up moments later, gasping and staring up into the darkness. Schuldich brushed it off as a subconscious wish for things to be that easy. Usagi, on the other hand, was rather irrate with her dreams- she did want to be loved quite badly, but the dreams were only hurting her; the person in them wasn't even real. Neither of them realized that in a short time their lives were going to crash together again, whether they liked it or not.
(1) - Curse those seats at school! They're never the right size! Just how do they do that?
(2) - Whether this happened or not in the anime I don't remember, but it certainly did in the manga. ^^ I always thought it was kind of weird that though Luna could tell who Usagi was she figured Ami out wrong.
Wow! That was done quick! So I guess that means I get to go onto the next sequel... and as you may have been able to tell, this was meant as the set up for the next fic... just in the same kind of way the previous one set up for this. ^^;;
So. If you've liked what you read, or didn't like, or have questions, or comments... or anything you'd like to say... Or if you just feel like humoring me... then review or send an email at the address given at the top. ^^