Author's Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of the story. They belong to the creator of Cowboy Bebop. By no means am I the creator nor had I even fathomed them until I saw the series. This is an AU fic. The characters may seem a bit out of character, but that's why I picked them. This is my first Cowboy Bebop fic, so please be kind. ^.^
Title: Bound to Vast Expectations – Ex Parte
Genre: Romance/Drama/Alternate Universe
Rating: PG-13
Content: Suggestive Dialogue, Coarse Language
Teaser: The greatest expectations are granted upon you as a child. Can Spike Spiegel choose between his past, the future expected, and the present in a game of love?
1: Enchanted
"What lies behind us
and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared
to what lies within us."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are some things men just should not deal with in life like associating with the wrong kind of women. I, myself, have disobeyed the previous. I fell in love with a woman of considerable wealth, guile, unadmonished beauty, prowess – she was the desired fruit of the Gods to me. Now, any logical man would have said "Don't get involved. She'll only make your life complicated". But I chose to believe otherwise. I'll tell you how I saw it through my eyes. This is my story.
It started long ago, when I was six. I was poor yet resourceful, and I had the knack for literature. I was taught how to read and write at a young age by my father, Joel, a wise man all in his own era. I became obsessed with intellectuals and their mannerisms, especially my father. He spoke as if he was better than everyone around him – disregarding the lack of job he didn't acquire. He was a person of manual labor, tending to gardens and trimming shrubbery. We lived in a house, not quite as well-kept as other houses near us, but it was shelter and had air conditioning. What more could you need? We lived in the outer parts, nowhere near the city, so it consisted of fishermen, people who kept to themselves, or rich people who were lucky enough to have private estates. Of the people my father associated with, it was the more affluent of the population that hired him. One client, in particular, captured my father's eye for business. It was an estate near the ocean with an abundance of foliage: Il Paradiso Esotico.
It was the envy of all in the area – and probably the county! The name was given in the words above the owner's large, rusty gates. It meant "Exotic Paradise.", inspired by a famous book the owner's father was obsessed with. The property truly was for a man like my father. We had come there when he heard the owner, Miss Maria Murdock, was looking for a gardener. She wanted to spruce the place up since she had company at her estate. So my father took me over in his truck, and we headed out. Once at the gates, my father got out of his truck to investigate the property.
"It looks like a lot of work, Spike." he muttered to me.
I hopped out of the truck and ran towards the gates. I immediately clutched the rusty bars of the gate and pressed my face against it, letting the rough, old paint brush against my cheeks. I wanted a better look at the jungle confined within the fence. I saw the cleared road that led to the estate from that very gate I stood at. It was something I had never really seen in my life, with the exception of television. I had to get a better look and explore. I was always the curious, hands-on kind of person.
"Let's go, son. We got quite a ways before we get to the mansion." he said while he wiped the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand.
The heat was sweltering that day. It was summer, and the sweat dripped off of us. I remember the short ride to the mansion. The sunlight flickered on my face as we passed under the trees. The wind brushed back my hair, wiping the thick mass of emerald green hair about. I can remember that day so vividly. I remember the gravel and rocks crackle underneath the tires as we pulled into the driveway in front of the huge mansion's entrance. We both stepped out of the truck, swinging the doors behind us, and inspecting in awe.
"I have to go look for Miss Murdock. You stay around here, ya hear?" he said as he wiped the sweat off his brow.
He disappeared into the open foyer, and my eyes wandered. My feet followed faithfully as my curiosity bloomed. I disappeared into the foliage, whipping at the palms that were in my way at first. As I continued on, my violent arms reduced themselves to merely brushing the branches aside. I began to tread softly instead of stomping loudly. It was all a reduce in spontaneity for me and descent into the polite observer. I saw the exotic flowers – red, blue, yellow – and I became aware of the birds, flapping wildly about as I spotted them. Their wings became fans of brilliant colors against the green of the trees. It was truly new to my eyes since I rarely spent time away from the house near the ocean. This was my adventure. Little did I know, my adventure would not end with this visit to the property. It would all start with the most beautiful creature, and end with my own greatest tragedy.
After the exploration, I found many things. Old patio furniture were all rusted away from years of rain and neglect. Once a beautiful gazebo, constructed of stone, had weeds growing in the cracks of the worn base. Of course, I had to check out the inside and get away from the sun, so I dove for cover within the shade. It was surprisingly cool and welcoming as I stepped inside. It was very much the opposite of what I'd feel around Miss Murdock's estate later on.
I sat on the steps, waiting for the voice of my father to beckon me back to civilization, but instead I heard the crunching of leaves. I heard someone move among the trees and bushes. I felt that person's eyes observing me so intensely, so focused. Fear arose in me as all children should feel at that age when a stranger was around. I whipped my head around, searching, praying it wasn't a criminal coming for my life on the spur of the moment murder. Instead, I found blue eyes staring straight into my own. The light illuminated the little girl's petite figure. The sun bounced off her long golden hair that pooled at her shoulders to rest upon her green sun dress. Her face was so solemn and scrutinizing. Her lips just as thin as she walked around me, keeping her distance.
And like that, she disappeared into the jungle, taking apart of me with her.
"Spike!"
It was my father. I ran away from the gazebo, away from the beautiful little girl, away from the exotic paradise this estate advertised itself to be. I was scared out of my mind by our brief encounter, yet entranced by her every movement as little there seemed to be. It haunted my dreams, and that night I found myself begging for one more time with the little girl though we didn't speak at all.
"Spike, let's get out of here!"
My father sounded happy. Something good must have come out of his visit. I jumped onto the back of the truck and stuck my head through the window in the back of the truck cabin. My father slapped the steering wheel with the heel of his palm and waved an envelope in front of my face.
"Did you get the job?" I asked.
"Nope, son. She just gave me five hundred woolongs-called it 'gas money!'" he exclaimed, "Let's go and get us some supper."
The trip home was full of merriment as my father kept randomly yelling out the window and whistling a tune. When we got home, my dad's sister was waiting for us with both hands on her hips.
"Annie! My sweet Anastasia! We got us some money today!" he yelled as he bounded up the stairs.
I was not far behind when I caught sight of her. She was a rather big woman wearing a short-sleeved, red polka-dotted, white dress with a red apron over. She crossed her arms as my father took his seat at the dinner table.
"Joel Spiegel! You don't just come into this house late at night and expect supper!" she scolded and grabbed me by the scruff of my neck, "And you, little runt, why didn't you finish the chores I left you this morning?"
"I woke up late and went with dad."
"Listen, you two. My little store cannot provide us the rent and food for us. I-."
"Annie!" my father and I yelled in unison.
She fumed at our abrupt exclamation and dropped me to the ground.
"What is wrong with you two?" she asked crossly.
"Annie, didn't you hear me? I got money today."
Her demeanor dissolved, and a smile grew on her face.
"Well, why didn't you say anything?!"
"Annie!" he said in incredulity.
"Joel..." she mimicked.
"Annie, we'll eat out today."
"No, we order in because I am not walking anywhere after work." she informed him with finality in her voice and made herself a perch in one of the chairs at the table.
My father grabbed the cordless phone near him and pressed the power button.
"So we will..."
Later that night, I was reading a book when my father came wandering by.
"Are you reading the book I told you to read?" he asked, leaning against my door frame with his arms crossed.
"Of course. Why this though? It seems that everything is divided by social class. It kind of irritates me." I replied.
"Isn't that the way life always goes..." he muttered with distaste.
"So what's with this book?" I asked.
"It was one of the books I read in school. It truly enlightened me on what I couldn't see. I was infatuated with this girl-beautiful and rich, of course. But like that book, I discovered that love couldn't conquer social classes. Rich never mingled with commoners. It was never meant to be. Promotions never came to outsiders in work. It's the case in everything. I just wanted reality not to hit you quite as hard as I growing up."
My father was used to sharing his thoughts with me about his life and my own. There were so many things he wanted me to learn, that he wanted to teach with his own experiences, but I was stubborn. He knew that, as did I. We were the same two men living in different generations, bound to make the same mistakes, or at least similar ones.
"If you liked this girl, how'd you end up with mom?" I asked.
He paused, looking thoughtful for one moment as he delved into his memories to see my mom's face. That kind of breath of fresh air my mom always considered herself in a land of bad breath, he'd joke.
"She was different. And I was attracted to her in a different way than the other girl. She was imperfect." he sighed and ran his hands through his hair, "And I was equally imperfect."
"She died after I was born."
"I know."
"Was it your fault?"
"No. She just woke up from the dream."
That was the most we lingered on the topic of mom. My dad always referred to life as if it were all a dream. I never quite understood that. But things seemed to be as random as dreams. It was the next day that our household got a strange phone call early in the morning.
"She wants Spike!" Annie exclaimed as she brought me to her, holding my lean form to her own.
"Why?" my father asked as he took a sip of his coffee, placing the paper down for a second.
"Apparently, Miss Murdock wants company with her and her guest. Yesterday, I believe she found a guest in Spike here! And she wants to pay for his time."
My father cocked an eyebrow at me, and I shrugged.
"I honestly don't know how we get so lucky." Annie murmured.
And life took me back to Paradiso Esotico once again, except this time, the girl was there at the entrance of the mansion waiting for me. Annie dropped me off at the gate on her way to work, and I ventured down the road. At the entrance I saw her, just as beautiful as the day before. She snorted at my presence and pivoted on her heel.
"Follow me." I heard her voice command.
I followed faithfully, watching her blonde tresses swing with each proud stride. I was mesmerized and let her lead me wherever she wished. She stopped after a maze of open spaces, hallways, and stairs. She pushed open a big, oak door leading to yet another grand room.
"Go in." she ordered.
I obeyed yet again, and saw a small bird in a big cage. I examined it in its huge confinement, but through the thin bars, I caught sight of another prisoner. A prisoner of her own broken heart. She was a thin woman, deathly pale, and made up with many cosmetics caked on her aging skin. Her hair was dyed a dark yet obscene vermillion, and her lips were a bright rouge color. Her eye lashes had clumps of mascara, especially at the sides of her eyes, and the blues of her eye shadow were flashy, powdered onto her eye lids and underneath her penciled-in eye brows. Her clothing was odd for the times. She wore an old, plain, black cocktail dress with beach sandals. She smiled at me with her off-white colored teeth and grabbed for my wrist immediately.
"Boy," she said sweetly in an almost spiteful tone, "Do you feel this?"
She placed my hand on her heart, and I felt the rhythmical beating-probably the only thing that dubbed her as alive or even human. She looked at me in a nostalgic manner.
"Do you feel it?" she breathed acutely.
I nodded in response, and her look turned spiteful as she threw her hand away from me.
"It's broken." she said bitterly and walked to the other side of the room.
She fell onto a cushioned chair and grabbed for the cigarette on the table beside her.
"You smoke, boy?" she asked as she lit the stick in her mouth.
"No, ma'am." I replied.
"Pity." she said as she exhaled her smoke after her first inhale, "You got a name as well?"
"Spike Spiegel." I piped up.
"Well?"
She looked at me expectantly and waved at me. I looked at her in confusion.
"Well, do something, Spike!" she exclaimed angrily, "Dance, dance! You're supposed to be entertaining me! Dance for me!"
I shook my head in disbelief but tried not to offend her.
"What's wrong?" she deadpanned.
I froze and began to stutter.
"I-I-I don't dance, ma'am."
She blew smoke into the air with a snort.
"Then how are you ever going to entertain me?" she asked as she threw her hands up in the air in disbelief.
The bird chirped loudly cutting through the uneasy silence between Miss Murdock and I. She continued to smoke, seemingly disregarding me, until she caught something. The blonde girl was at the bird cage, her fingertips brushing against every thin bar while she walked around. Her eyes never left me as she watched from behind the cage. I met her eyes, swallowing the lump in my throat. Miss Murdock's eyes lit up, and a smug smile replaced her displeasured expression.
The girl came towards us, never leaving her gaze. She reached me and shifted her gaze to Miss Murdock. I turned to meet the old woman's eyes. She took a satisfied drag of her cigarette.
"Julia, my darling niece, have you met Spike?" she asked with nod in my direction.
"I thought he was the hired help." she responded.
I looked into her blue eyes. I was mesmerized, and like a mouse lured into the snake's mouth, I fell into Miss Murdock's trap. Julia was the bait, and I was the prey.
"Come now, Julia! Don't you know? I asked him to come for you. He's your new playmate." Miss Murdock said in that fake enthusiastic tone.
She looked at me with acknowledgment, but snubbed us both turning her back to the both of us. She sauntered off, knowing I was watching her with a taken interest. It was then that Miss Murdock slinked over to my side, placing her bony hands upon my shoulders. Her lips brushed against my ear as she spoke and the smell of nicotine coming from her breath consumed me in that single moment. Her words would always be remembered, my naivety, my entranced childhood spent in vain with the brief conversation.
"What do you think of Julia?"
"I think she's snotty."
"Anything else?"
"I think she hates me."
"Anything else?"
"She's beautiful."
I felt her smile broaden, and she whispered ever so softly, "You can come back, Spike. Do you want to come back?"
I was a young boy with an infatuation with an angel, or rather this spiteful creature in a guise of pure beauty. I was too blind, too deaf to hear my mind's warnings. The pounding heart in my chest, the churning of my stomach, the murmur of expectation from Miss Murdock, and the sound of the little bird crowing as if I were Peter*, awaiting the inevitability of my own downfall by my own decision. And like a damned fool, a madly infatuated youth without the ability of common sense, I whispered back, "Yes".
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::
So it happened as such. I came almost every other day to spend time with Julia. We danced (only because Miss Murdock made us), talked about our different worlds (or rather her derogatory comparison to both our life styles), her aunt, our parents, and her interest to get away from Paradiso Esotico. We shared a common bond of a lost parent, or in her case parents. Her parents died in a plane crash on the way to a vacation, my mother was killed by my birth. But in that, we found an awkward comfort in each other's presence. Of course, maybe it was Miss Murdock's insistence of my visits and Julia having to spend time with me or just sheer will that we conversed like friends. We grew older, I got taller, leaner, and more sarcastic given the path I dealt myself and the life my family led. Annie kept her store going, my father found other jobs, and I was paid to hang out with a beautiful girl. Life was somewhat unfair in some aspects.
Julia became more fair with age. She became more filling in her figure, and with every passing year, a seductress. I heard her aunt proudly boast of her many conquests-always coming out victorious. Julia would incline her head to me as I'd look to her. She'd flip her long, wavy, golden hair over her shoulder and smile with her ruby lips all swollen probably from shared embraces with a guy at school.
"Jealous, Spike?" she'd ask, and I'd simply nod.
I'd give her a smug smile with a sarcastic tone as I shoved my hands into my pockets, "Yeah, Julia. Damn jealous."
She'd laugh, dark and rich, then walk away to her room. That was the way of things. We'd study together up in her room. She was dressed in her school uniform, while I, a public school attendant, would just be in jeans and a baggy shirt with sneakers. She'd twirl her hair around her finger, occasionally bite her pencil when she found a problem difficult, but continue on. She'd rather bite her tongue than ask for a poor boy for help with anything. And in these moments together, she would either flirt or boast of her male company.
"Spike, are you struggling?" she asked with a sigh.
I looked up from my work to see her looking at me in pity. I smiled sheepishly and scratched my head.
"Yeah, math isn't exactly my best subject." I muttered as I looked at my eraser almost as short as the metal holder around it.
"What is a good subject for you?" she said with a giggle.
"Julia..." I growled irritably, and she cleared her throat.
"Would you like some help, Mr. Spiegel?" she said, saying my name in an almost rich tone of voice.
She pulled her seat close to mine and examined the problem with a knowing glance in my direction. I smelled the scent of her hair in the close contact. It was roses, the beautiful flower known widely for its exotic look, but its thorns if touched. She had begun to speak, but I wasn't listening. I watched her lips move, and her tongue would occasionally peek out to moisten her dry lips.
"Spike, you're not listening to me." she said with a smile and leaned her head against her hand.
"I was." I countered.
"Then what did I say?"
I was at a loss for an answer, so I winged it.
"You were talking about how the two equations are parallels of each other and that when they are, they can be made to find the answer of another question." I babbled.
She raised an eyebrow and licked her finger, flipping the page.
"Well, you are a good bull shitter, aren't you? Either that, or you were actually listening." she said nonchalantly and flipped her hair over her shoulder.
I sighed in relief, but my heart was beating rapidly again. I noticed her hand was close to mine, brushing from time to time subconsciously. I found myself intrigued with her slender fingers and realized that they had slipped from the table into the darkness below. I gulped as I felt something edge up my thigh, and I yelped as she caught me by surprise.
"Listen to me, Spike!" she yelled indignantly, tugging on the waist band of my jeans, "This is not a time to daydream!"
The heel of her palm brushed against me as she tugged to pull me out of whatever dream I was supposedly having at that moment.
"Why are you tugging on my pants?" I asked nervously.
"Because I find that men think with what's in there, so if I shake that, it's like shaking a woman's head, don't you think?" she drawled and recoiled from her grasp.
She stood up and slammed the book to a close.
"We're done for the day. Go home." she said coldly and fluffed out her hair.
My encounters with Julia were of pure heat and tension, always the same, never different. The beginning of my self-exile from Paradiso Esotico didn't come until one day that I came over. We danced as the crazy old bat of a woman watched us. She'd dance by herself, glorified by the bravery of doing so, or maybe just thought of as highly insane.
"Ball-change!" she'd randomly exclaim, and we'd do just as she said.
Julia's hips would swing to the salsa, her feet just as capable as her aunt's. A trait probably from that side of the family. Her eyes would remain on mine, and the minute I'd falter to look at my feet, Julia would call to my attention of my mistake.
"Look at me!" she commanded, and I did just that.
At the end of the dance, I twirled her about three times until her aunt applauded our dance.
"Wonderful! Wonderful! Magnifique!" she shouted.
Julia released my hand and began to walk from the ballroom.
"Why, my darling niece, where do you think you're going? We still have the waltz." Miss Murdock said with a wave of her hands in the air.
She turned, letting her hair sway to the side.
"I'm going to a party tonight. You know about that."
"I did not! Who is your escort?"
"Oh, Aunt Maria, please! I'm going to see Lynn."
"Lynn! Well, his father is a drunkard! How can you keep such company!"
I didn't know much about their affluent world, but I knew the names. Lynn was the heir of a corporation his father was bound to give up later on.
"By God! Lynn doesn't drink, and his father has sobered up."
"I repeat, my pet, who is your escort?"
"This is ridicules! I'm going to the party alone!"
"Spike will go with you to this little soiree of yours."
"Spike?! You can't be serious?"
Miss Murdock glanced over at me and took a cigarette from behind her ear. She sauntered over to a table where there was a lighter and lit her stick, letting the tobacco blaze within it.
"Surely, he is a respectable escort, don't you agree, Julia?" she said with an exhale.
Julia looked at her aunt in disbelief, but began to smile after a second gaze at her. She looked over at me with a grin.
"Okay. But don't be late. Be at Lynn's mansion in formal attire. The party starts at ten." she curtly stated and walked away.
I had rushed home after my visit and turned to my father for aid. He gathered a nice suit for me, and I rushed in his broken down truck to the mansion. I came to a halt at the gate where a security guard interrogated me.
"What's your name again?" the security guard asked.
"Spike Speigel." I replied.
"You're not on here, son. Why don't you just turn back?"
"You don't understand! I'm with Julia."
"I didn't see anyone named Julia that said she had a date nor was she with a date."
"I know because I'm here right now."
"Are you getting smart with me, son?"
"Let's get out of here." a voice cut in.
I turned to the other side of the truck to see Julia climbing in. She smoothed out her short black cocktail dress and placed her small purse in her lap before looking to me.
"Well? What are you waiting for?" she asked.
"Yes, ma'am." I said curtly and pulled out of the mansion entrance.
We drove in silence but ended up at my house. My father was out helping Annie with inventory at her store, so that left Julia and I alone. She had asked to come to my home for once, and she did not degrade it. She wandered into the house, inspecting everything around her.
"Quaint." she commented lightly.
I only nodded, following her with my hands in my pockets. I threw my jacket off to the side before we entered my room. She stopped at the doorway, and looked at me tentively with a teasing smile.
"May I enter?" she asked.
"Of course."
I followed her in and as I made my way towards my bed, she stopped at my desk. I sat down on the bed, observing her movements. She read the papers on my desk, brushing over the words with her fingers.
"You didn't tell me you write?"
"You never asked."
"Well, it looks like you have a thing for beautiful blondes." she joked.
"It's a story about a man like my father who fell for the unnattainable."
"Oh. And this woman is his object of affection?"
"Yes."
She turned to me and walked over. Her movements halted when she came before me.
"Do you think I'm unnattainable, Spike?" she whispered.
"You never really act interested in anything."
"I'm interested in you." she said softly.
I gulped and tried to calm my nerves.
"You don't act like it."
"And if my aunt knew, do you think she'd allow me to see you?"
She brushed her knee against the inside of my thigh, and I looked up to meet her eyes. She had her mouth partially open as I brushed my hand against her knee, tracing up the inside of her leg.
"Why tonight?" I asked as I gripped her hips under her dress.
"Why any other time?"
She lowered herself down onto one of my legs and pushed me down onto the mattress. She brushed her lips against mine and then consummed them with little nips. My hands wandered behind her, and she moaned into my mouth as we came dangerously close to meeting with one of my biggest fantasies. She tugged at my tie, pulling me closer to her body. She writhed against me, letting her hands drift down to my stomach. And as her hands reached my belt, she pushed off me, releasing my lips.
She stood up and pivoted on her heel, walking away from me. She fluffed her hair out and straightened out her dress as she reached my house door. I ran after her, chasing her, just trying to stop her from ending that special night.
"Where are you going?"
"I have to go. I have to wake up early tomorrow."
And she went out the door. I didn't see her and decided to go to the estate the next day to talk to her. Instead, I found Miss Murdock, acting more weird than usual. She stood out near the patio by the ocean wearing another cocktail dress, long and flowing, left to blow in the sea breeze.
"Where's Julia?" I asked.
She looked at me with a far off look in her eyes. Her frail hands grabbed mine, and she exhaled the smoke from her cigarette.
"Come with me out there." she said.
We ventured out onto the bare patio, and she stopped before the edge.
"Miss Murdock, where's Julia?" I reiterated.
"I never come out here-ever. And you know why..." she looked off into the horizon and took a drag of her cigarette, "He looked like you. His name was Andy von de Oniyate-my fiancee. I thought he would never hurt me. I saved myself for him, but he took advantage of me-left me at the alter! What kind of cruel creatures do that? Men do. And that's why men must pay. My Julia she'll do just that. She takes men and breaks them."
I stared at her in horror. How had I gotten myself involved in the trail of broken hearts behind Julia?
"You weren't much of a challenge. You were captivated by her from the start. She has become an adequate woman."
She blew smoke into the air, letting the smoke linger around me.
"Where's Julia?" I asked through clenched teeth.
"Why, Spike, didn't you know? Julia went to New York to go to college. I thought you knew..."
I backed away from her, releasing myself from her grasp.
"See you tomorrow." she said softly.
I ran. I ran away from Paradiso Esotico and became a man. I didn't disillusion myself with silly ideals. I worked at Annie's store and after college, I went to the city to make it. I wanted to get away from my poor life, but ended up in a world of more complexity and heartache.
Author's Note: If you can't tell, this story was based loosely off of the movie, "Great Expectations". It was based loosely because there's a different storyline then the movie. I think the only thing this has in common with the movie is how these two met and how their relationship is affected my Mrs. Murdock. I think that's all, but I have a bunch of stuff going on for it. Well, I hope you liked the first chapter. It was hard to write in a man's POV and to write such a heated scene *fans herself*. I had to get into a masculine train of thought. LOL! I always wanted to write a Cowboy Bebop story. So let's see how this goes. This story is torn between Julia/Spike and Faye/Spike. It's kind of a love triangle between his past and his present.
References:
* Peter – In the bible, Peter was an apostle who Jesus predicted would deny he knew him by the end of three crows from the rooster.