Disclaimer: Everything sadly belongs to JK Rowling. Although I wish Dan belonged to me…oh well, I'm just a bored teen with no life and obsessed with HP! Anywayz if anyone sues me I am so kicking their ass. But you can't cuz' I did this Disclaimer thingy! MUHAHAHAHAHA (Note to self: Improve evil laugh.)

Summary: The trio has all graduated from Hogwart. They come back to become a part of the staff as teachers. Harry was off in America and didn't realize so many things had changed. He discovers new allies and new enemies.

Author's Notes: Okay people show me some sympathy this is just my second attempt at a fanfic so yeah. I am hoping that it will be a good fan fic. I think it's funny but sweet at the same time. That's just my opinion though…so yeah…on with the story and stuff.

Innocent My Ass

Chapter 1: People Change

The trio had graduated from Hogwarts two years ago and was going back on the train to Hogwarts as teachers. Well at least in Ron's and Harry's case; Harry was going to be the new DADA teacher and Ron was going to be the new CoMC teacher. Hermione surprisingly didn't want to be a teacher, instead she was taking Madam Pomphrey (Did I spell that right?) as the school nurse.

"Wow, I'm so excited that we get to go back to Hogwarts as student teachers! And the best part is: WE'RE GOING BACK TO HOGWARTS!" Hermione exclaimed.

Ron just smiled at Hermione but Harry looked at her as if she was crazy.

"Are you okay up there, Hermione?" Harry said pointing to his head.

"What?" Hermione said defensively, "Don't tell me, you people never dreamed of going to back to Hogwarts?"

"Oh yeah, Hermione that's all me and Ron have been dreaming of! Going back to school oh we're going to die of joy!" Hermione huffed annoyed, while Harry just smirked at her, and Ron just laughed at the both of them.

"Harry, mate ever since Hermione and I started dating at the end of 7th year, you two have been bickering like siblings. It's gotten worse since we got engaged…" Ron just shook his head.

"Well, he always starts it!" Hermione whined. Harry laughed at her weak defence and Ron just shook his head.

"Why am I engaged to you again, Hermione?"

"Oh shut up, Ron! You know you love me!" Hermione said a matter of factly.

"Oh yeah, that's why," Ron said with a goofy grin that suddenly turned into a smirk. "And there's also the fact that you're so good in-"

"AH! VIRGIN EARS OVER HERE! DON'T SAY ANYMORE!"

"Oh get you're head out of the gutter, Harry! I was going to say uh-what was I going to say oh yeah, bathroom! Hermione's so good in the bathroom!"

Hermione looked at Ron confused and Harry just laughed and laughed with a few "Sure you were," and "Of course she's good in the bathroom!"

"Oh shut up, Harry! What do you mean virgin ears? That's the biggest lie I've heard all day!"

"At least I have some virgin parts unlike some people…"

"And what's that supposed to mean Harry James Potter!"

"Nothing Hermione Emma Granger soon to be Weasley, I'm just saying that not everyone we know is a virgin…"

"And who do you mean exactly, Mr. Potter?" Hermione said with her hair practically crackling and her eyes narrowed. (A.N. Was this enough warning for Harry? No, he keeps torturing her! lol)

"Anyone at all Ms. Granger soon to be Mrs. Weasley, I could be talking about any random mothers and fathers, Dudley, Britney Spears, coughyoucough, that one girl down the street-"

"What was that Harry? Didn't quite catch it…"

"What?" Harry asked innocently, "That one girl down the street?"

"NO! What you-"

Ron sensing trouble quickly changed the subject, "Oy, who's that outside the compartment!"

Harry and Hermione quit glaring at each other and exchanged curious glances as Ron walked out of the compartment. They heard some muffled voices, a shriek, and laughter.

"What do you thinks going on there?" Hermione whispered to Harry.

"Well it has to be something that Ron would rather not have us see or hear let alone know about…so it must be-" Harry paused to mock thinking and then he smirked. Hermione looked at him confused until he raised his eyebrows at her.

"Have you figured it out yet? I mean it's pretty obvious considering he left you here with me…I mean when was the last time Ron left you alone with me? This can only mean one thing and that is S-" Realization dawned on Hermione and she cut Harry off.

"OH HARRY! GET YOU'RE BLOODY MIND OUT OF THE BLOODY GUTTER!"

Harry held back a snicker and feigned shock, "Why I'll never…you don't even know what I was going to say Hermione! I think you're mind has been quite dirty lately and irrational!" Harry pouted and Hermione just sighed.

"Okay, Harry I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, what were you going to say?"

"Why thank you ever so much Hermione all I was going to say was that some serious stuff must be happening. But, now that you mention it Hermione I bet Ron is doing something naughty. But my innocent mind is now scarred for life because of you!" Harry looked down sadly. While Hermione just made an exasperated sigh and lunged for Harry. They began wrestling on the floor with cries of "Innocent my ass," and Harry saying "Haven't I been scarred enough for life." Just when Hermione had finally gotten the upper hand and had Harry in a headlock did they hear a distinct ahem. They both looked up to see Ron and some strange girl decked out in black from head to toe. After, the shock wore off Hermione shrieked and ran over to hug the girl. Ron smiled at the two while Harry looked on totally confused.

"Oh I've missed you so much! You have no idea what kind of hell I'm living in with these two! They will not grow up already!"

"HEY, I thought we agreed that I had matured when you bloody agreed to marry me!"

"Oh yes, he's quite right you know, Ron has grown up these past two years…but…Harry on the other hand is quite worse."

"How so?" the girl asked.

"Well, he's continuously quarreling with me as if we were under the age of seven and-"

"Mind you Hermione," Ron retorted "You two are always fighting about subjects that at least I hope seven year olds aren't fighting about…"

The girl smirked, "And what are these quarrels about exactly, Hermione?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively here, "What goes through Harry's and you're mind again?"

Harry decided he had been quiet enough, "Excuse me, but I'm only right here you know?" At this sudden comment everyone laughed except the girl who just sort of stared and glared at Harry. "And not to be rude or anything but who the hell are you?"

"Ahh, don't recognize me Harry? Of course you wouldn't with you being in the States instead of here and only keeping in contact with these two…how the bloody hell would you recognize me?" She practically screamed the words out.

"Look chick, I have no fucking idea who you are so if you would just tell me…"

"NO, YOU SHOULD KNOW WHO I AM, WITHOUT ME HAVING TO TELL YOU!"

"Oh don't go having BF (a.n. cookies for anyone who knows what movie I got this from) on me, aight?"

"Oh enough with the American accent you're a bloody british man! What in Merlin's name is a BF?" This is the part where Ron and Hermione slip out.

"You british people" Harry let out a sigh of annoyance, "A BF is a bitch fit duh!"

"WHY YOU LITTLE…I AM NOT HAVING A BITCH FIT! GOD IS IT SO MUCH JUST TO ASK FOR YOU TO REMEMBER ME? BLOODY HELL I KNOW I GOT A MAKEOVER BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT TAKES A BLOODY GENIUS TO REMEMBER ME!"

Harry just gaped at her.

"WHAT?"

Harry gaped some more until he found his voice, "HOLY SHIT! BLOODY HELL! OH FUCK!" Here Harry paused to breathe, "Oh no, it can't be, c-can it? Is-is th-th-that you G-Ginny?"

"YES!"

"Oh-Oh g-god, oh god, M-Merlin help me now! Defeating Voldemort was one thing but this…this too much for me…" Harry just stared at her and looked her up and down.

"Anytime you feel like explaining is good for me, right about now is the best time if you value your life." Ginny stated casually.

"It's just look at yourself…you're you're a FUCKING GOTH!"

"And your point is?"

"What happened Ginny? You can tell me…I mean what possessed you to even start dressing like that?"

"WHAT POSSESED ME HOW DARE YOU EVEN UTTER THAT WORD IN MY PRESENCE! WELL AT LEAST WE KNOW FUCKING VOLDEMORT ISN'T-"

Harry cut her off, "Sorry Gin, I wasn't thinking…"

"That much is obvious and don't call me Gin!"

"But…but I always call you Gin…"

"Not anymore either call me Ginny or preferably Weasley."

"Okay, okay, whatever you say Gin-ny, so please tell me what's up with the new get up, I mean look!" Harry said practically begging and her his 'begging puppy look' that he knew she couldn't resist.

Ginny sighed, "You really wanna know the answer?"

"Yes."

"Honestly?"

"Yes.

"Cross your heart and hope to die?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure you can handle the truth?"

"YES! AND GODDAMNIT JUST TELL ME ALREADY!"

"Sheesh never the patient one were you?"

"Damn straight, now tell me."

"The reason I look like this is be-be-because of-of"

"JUST TELL ME!"

"Okay, Okay it's because of you." Ginny said in a low voice.

Harry's mouth dropped open in shock. Ginny glared at him and strutted right over to him and shut his mouth. With a distinct 'Hmph' she stormed out of the compartment.

Author's Notes: tSo what'd you think? Should I continue? And pleez give me some feedback! I take nothing personal you can even tell me this story sucks so bad and I won't mind I just need an opinion…thank you and read and review.