Disclaimer -I do not own GI Joe,Hasbro does and all rights. I am just borrowing them. I also do not own, Pepsi or any Pepsi corp. products ( unless you count whatI bought and in my fridge) I also do not own the Army vs Navy footage, game or rights or even the winning score.I also do not own or hold the rights to use the Green Bay Packers or St louis Rams. This is for fun, no profits are made and please do not sue.
By : Medic (MedicLifeline)
Rating PG 13
Reviews welcome, please let me know what you think.
A big thanks to Storm "O" and Scarlett Phoenix, without you this could not be accomplished.
This is dedicated to my husband and Father in Law, without them who else would I have to remind all year long about who won the game.....
When The Bell Tolls
Today was the day, one of the most important days in sports all year. The annual Army vs Navy game.
It was due for this reason that the PITT was gearing up. Hawk had put the word out this year that the sides were to be separated in the recreation room. Last year, a few fistfights broke out and more than a few soldiers or Joes ended up in the infirmary. The General of the Joes did not want to have to deal with that again.
Several of the Joes had decorated the two sides with banners, signs, and balloons for the big day. "Go Army" and "Go Navy" were posted everywhere, and a few that said "Army will kick Navy six" or "Place boot here," with a picture of a boot kicking the rear end of the loosing team to be. A huge table had been placed in the back for snacks during the game. You could definitely tell which side was which. There was even a line drawn down the center of the room with yellow duct tape to separate the two sides, leaving the chairs far enough apart on the main aisle just in case.
Hawk did some last minute thinking to make sure everything was on hand, security and plenty of it, food and hopefully fun.
"I know we are going to kick their ass this year," Hawk mumbled, as he walked down the hall. "No way Navy can win three in a row. Besides I will have to deal with Keel Haul's gloating for the next year like he did the year before and this year."
Hawk walked down to the recreation room for a final inspection. Satisfied, he walked back to his office, smelling Gung Ho and Road Block's cooking. The team was going to dine on gumbo 'and to buffalo wings, and any kind of chip, dip, or edibles that those two could come up with. His mouth started to salivate with anticipation. Grinning, he quickly took a drink of his coffee as he reached his office.
Walking into his office, Hawk sat down at the desk, looking at the time again. Suddenly, the phone rang. "Hawk here," he answered.
"Hawk, this is Admiral Keel Haul," Keel Haul began.
"What is it Admiral?" Hawk questioned, having a very good suspicion why the Admiral was calling.
"You know, I was wondering if the ringing in your ears has stopped yet?" Keel Haul laughed on the other end of the line, referring to the bell that rang when the Navy MidShipmen won the traditional Army vs Navy game.
"Ringing in my ears?" Hawk answered, realizing what the Admiral meant. "You will not win this year I promise you, Keel Haul, our boys are going to take Navy down. You can bet on it."
"Care to make a friendly wager?" Admiral Keel Haul began before asking, "Say a fine bottle of scotch for the winner? Plus bragging rights, of course."
"Deal Keel Haul, and I want a bottle of Scotch and some fine tobacco for my pipe from your home state of Virginia, so when I smoke, I'll think fondly of you and the loss of Navy," Hawk said, leaning back in his chair as he opened the drawer to pull out his pipe.
"Fine... Fine. You drive a hard bargain Hawk but if that is the case I want two bottles of Scotch," Keel Haul answered, sitting back in his own chair at the command of the USS Flagg. The crew around him snickered at the conversation the Admiral was having with the General.
"Good, may the best team win," Admiral Keel Haul stated and started to laugh as he hung up the phone.
Hawk looked at the receiver, hearing the laughter on the other end, and hung it up. "By heavens, Army better win," General Hawk proclaimed and shook his head.
MEANWHILE........
Joes started to file into the rec room; a betting board was set up.
"Hey Ace, who are you going to go with?" Shipwreck asked. All eyes at the betting table and in the crowd went to the fighter pilot, waiting for the answer they so wanted to hear.
"I am going to have to go with Navy…" Ace calmly replied, pulling out some cash.
Ace was known for not only knowing the way around a poker table but also his ability to predict the results of sporting events.
Suddenly, there were several "Oh mans", and "Ace has spoken." The betting table at that moment was swamped. "One at a time! One at a time!" the soldier and sailor taking the bets yelled above the crowd. Joes began placing money on Navy, and they were the opposing team.
Shipwreck grinned, "A man with a plan, place your bets. Navy to beat Army…"
Clutch walked up, I want to put twenty on Army," he said loudly. "What does Ace know, he is just a zoomie." Quietly, Clutch pulled out two more twenties. "Make that forty on Navy," he told the bet taker, softly. His eyes shifted around to see if anyone saw him bet on the opposing team. Nodding, he walked off.
Cover Girl, Dusty, Lifeline, Grunt, Clutch, Footloose, Wild bill and Lift Ticket had taken their places on the Army side, walking around and talking to some of the other Joes. All were wearing Army clothing, from sweats to tee shirts. Dr. Carla Greer walked in. She had her uniform on due to the good doctor being on duty.
Clutch eyed Cover Girl's shirt that read, "Have you hugged a soldier today?"
Clutch smiled. "You know Courtney. I could help you out with that little problem you are having," he said pointing to her shirt.
"You can what?" Cover Girl started to say. "Lance, I think I have that problem taken care of."
"You do?" Clutch asked astonished.
"Yes, I do," Cover Girl winked at him. "Dusty, could you come here a second?"
Clutch's eyes widened, seeing the young trooper walk over.
"Hey Courtney, what is the matter?" Dusty questioned, looking between her and the mechanic.
"Clutch seems to think I might have a little bit of a problem from what my shirt says." Cover Girl gave a half grin.
"Oh no, Clutch, I took care of the problem earlier," Dusty informed him, wrapping his arm around Cover Girl's waist. "I did that earlier, she just wears it to remind me to hug her more often."
Clutch rolled his eyes. "You are cold Cover Girl, and here I thought I had my chance," he said to the female tank jockey.
"Better luck next time, Clutch," Cover Girl waved as they walked to their seat at the front row. Dusty walked over to the table to get some snacks for the two of them.
Footloose walked up to Clutch after hearing him crash and burn. "Sorry dude, but you know how it goes."
"Yes I do, Footloose. All down hill," Clutch mumbled, as he walked to his seat behind Cover Girl. Footloose let out a laugh at the mechanic's reply, as Clutch walked off.
MEANWHILE over on the other side of the room......
Torpedo, Cutter, Shipwreck, Deep Six, Angel, and WiseGuy were on the Navy side. Each were talking to several of the others. Angel walked over to the soda fountain set up and reached for a glass of Pepsi. Suddenly, she heard a shout. It was Shipwreck yelling to Scarlett who had just arrived.
"Hey Doll Face, why sit over there! Come to the winning team's side!" Shipwreck yelled.
"Wreck, I would not sit next to you if you paid me," she yelled back to him, wondering where Duke was by now.
"Your loss," Shipwreck called back.
"My gain!" She laughed, seeing Duke enter and waved him over to the seats she was saving.
"You loose, you loose," Polly repeated.
"Shut up, birdbrain," Shipwreck cursed, swiping at the parrot. Shipwreck took his seat since the sailor had already grabbed a plate of snacks before they had been picked over.
Torpedo looked over to see Leatherneck sitting on the Army side, "Leatherneck! What are you doing on that side of the room? You cannot be that dumb," Torpedo hollered to the Marine sitting in the Army section.
"What is the problem squid? Last I checked, it was still America, and I can sit wherever I like, even if that means as far as I can get from you," Leatherneck yelled back.
"You have got to be kidding me! You are part of the Navy you oaf!" Torpedo yelled. "I mean, use your head."
"I am a Marine. We are no longer part of the Navy so I can be where I want, Squid," Leatherneck said, standing up so he could yell over the noise of the room now that it was getting very full.
"Navy!" Torpedo cried.
"Army!" Leatherneck yelled back, just to tick the squid off more.
Duke had about lost his patience. "Knock it off you two, before I have to get in the middle of it."
Both men looked at their CO and sat down. Cutter had just walked back from placing his bets. Deep Six sat there watching the grilling in the middle of winter commercial, and laughing as the guy said there were advantages to grilling in the winter with your beer staying cold due to the snow.
Meanwhile......
Lifeline had grabbed some snacks then walked over to Carla. "Dr. Greer, nice to see you could escape the asylum for a while and come join the rest of us," he grinned.
"Lifeline, I would not miss this for anything, besides I have to see who will be my patients later," she smiled back with a plate of snacks and a pop. Walking up the side of the room to the Army side, they took their seats near Dusty and Cover Girl.
"Afternoon Dr Greer," Dusty waved, offering his hand and quickly pulling it back realizing it had sauce on it from his chicken wings.
"Afternoon Dusty," Carla Greer waved. "Courtney, so nice to see you."
"Same here Carla," Cover Girl said to her friend as she took a sip of soda.
Soon everyone was taking their seats, and the betting had closed. Suddenly, they heard a voice loud and clear. " Attention on deck!"
All the Joes leaped to their feet, realizing it was General Hawk. General Hawk walked up the main aisle, separated with the tape. As he walked, he said, "Ladies and gentlemen of GI Joe, we have a very big game starting in five minutes. I want you to all understand that this is for fun. Do you understand? The winning team is just that, the winning team. I want you to also behave, is that clear? Last year, it got a bit rowdy, shall I say? Otherwise, have a good time, at ease, and go back to having fun." Hawk nodded, watching the Joes before him and around him taking their seats, starting to talk again. Hawk took his place on the Army side.
Soon the lights dimmed, and Quick Kick said, "Let the games begin!"
With that, the football game began. Even at the beginning, it was not going well. There were several cheers from the Navy side, as the amount of groans increased from the Army side.
"This is not looking good, Lifeline," Dusty commented as Navy scored another touchdown," This is not good."
Dusty looked over to see several of the Navy personnel clapping each other on the back.
"I know, Dusty, I know," Lifeline said as he shook his head.
"I cannot believe this, son of a....." Duke cursed under his breath, Scarlett watched in disbelief.
Torpedo gave Leatherneck the 'we're number one' sign to the Marine.
Leatherneck waved with his middle finger, letting Torpedo know he did not consider the squid number one.
Torpedo laughed. Angel and Wiseguy kept on high-fiving each other, the two Navy corpsman looking over and smiling at Dr Greer and Lifeline.
Dr Greer sat in disbelief; she could not believe that Navy was winning 35-7 at halftime. She hoped it did not get any worse.
There was a voice over the half-time crowd. "Phone call for General Hawk!" a communications greenshirt cried, carrying a portable phone.
"Hawk reached out his hand. " Who is it?" he asked, knowing who it was before the question was answered.
"Admiral Keel Haul, Sir," the greenshirt informed him. Suddenly, the room went quiet, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Each and every Joe knew the rivalry between the two men.
Hawk rolled his eyes as he took the phone. "Hawk here."
"General Hawk," Admiral Keel Haul began," How are you doing? Your Army boys are not faring well today. I expected so much more out of them," he laughed.
"Laugh it up, Keel Haul, it is only half-time," Hawk answered.
"You're kidding right, Abernathy? You and I are watching the same team right?" Keel Haul asked.
"Yes," Hawk replied. "We can still come back. You know it has happened."
"Right Abernathy, just like the Green Bay Packers and the St. Louis Rams the other night. People said they could come back too, but we knew the real answer," Keel Haul answered as the sailors around him sat quietly.
"You just wait and see," Hawk said, holding out hope.
"Right. I'll call and tell you what Scotch I want and where to send it," Keel Haul laughed. With a click, the line was disconnected. "Boys, it looks like we may have a victory," Keel Haul told the sailors, who cheered.
Hawk silently handed the phone back to the greenshirt. The conversation ended, and the Joes went back to talking. The game started on the second half, and with each passing minute, Army was doing worse.
Lifeline placed his head in his hands. "I do not believe this," Lifeline moaned.
"Did they forget how to play at all?" Cover Girl asked.
"You have got to be kidding me," Dusty shook his head.
"What in the bloody blue blazes are they doing?" Duke proclaimed to the television.
"I do not know, Duke, but they are making us look real bad," Scarlett answered.
Hawk shook his head in shame. "What the Sam Hill…"
The Navy side of the room was going crazy, cheering and chanting, "We're number one."
"See you should have come over here, Doll Face," Shipwreck grinned to Scarlett.
"Winning team, winning team," Polly repeated.
"That's okay, I am with a good bunch of losers over here," Scarlett cried back to the sailor.
"Talk about bad karma," Footloose mumbled.
"I just cannot get over this. They can't be this bad, but they are," Clutch told no one in particular.
"I think I know who will win, Lifeline," Dr Greer shook her head. "I'll see you in the infirmary later."
"You're leaving Dr Greer?" the medic asked shocked.
"Yes. What is the point? I do know who is going to win," Dr. Greer said, standing up and placing a reassuring hand on the Joe medic's shoulder.
"Yes, I do believe your right," Lifeline said looking back to the screen. The medic watched her walk off.
The end of the game finally came around. The final score was Navy 42 and Army 13. The Navy side started to sing, "We are the Champions" and "Anchors Aweigh" as some of the Navy group started to exit the room. Others were swamping the betting table to collect their winnings.
All Army could do was sit there and not understand how and why their team played and lost so badly.
"You know I am going to have to hear about this all year long," Leatherneck told Lifeline.
"Yes, I know, so will I," the medic said looking over at the other two corpsman on the Navy side cheering.
Hawk walked out, not believing what he had just watched. It was not a game but a slaughter.
Reaching his office, he sat down in his chair, leaning back and waiting on the infamous call from Keel Haul.
Within moments, the phone rang. "Hawk here." There was a ringing of a bell on the other end.
"Abernathy, about that scotch," Keel Haul began.
All Hawk could do was roll his eyes. Yet another year of harassment from the Admiral