Farmer Angela and the Seed of Doubt

Disclaimer: If I owned "Bones," you might get to see this happen. Maybe. But I don't, so instead you get to read it happen. For free!

Author's Note: 1000 words of Angela being as evil as most of us would like to be. Hee hee. A sort of apologia for not being able to post the next chapter of Red Fish, Blue Fish on time. I'll have it out as soon as humanly possible, I promise.

Any and all appreciation for lack of grammatical and spelling errors is due to ani8.

Farmer Angela and the Seed of Doubt

Angela Montenegro was frankly annoyed. She was annoyed with her boss, her co-workers, and her frustrating lack of anything to do. And when Angela got annoyed, she tended to get a little bit devious. Sometimes she got a whole lot devious.

And today she was feeling particularly vicious on top of it.

"Uh oh," Jack said when he saw her, and backed away a little. Angela gave him a toothy smile. "Whatever you're up to, I'll play along, but don't pick on Zach, okay? He's under enough pressure."

Angela had no intention whatsoever of picking on Zach. In fact, she would probably recruit him as part of her cause. In fact, she had just spotted her prey. The smile widened. Zach saw it and practically fled in the other direction. Brennan spotted it from her office and locked the door.

Cam, however, had not known Angela long enough to know any better. This would almost be too easy. Angela contemplated an evil cackle, but decided to save the theatrics for when she really needed them. "Dr. Saroyan, can I talk to you for a moment?"

Cam turned to her with a pleasant – and definitely surprised – smile. "Sure, Angela. What's on your mind?"

Angela did an inner happy dance at the fact that Jack practically owned the Medico-Legal lab. "I just wanted to talk to you about Dr. Hodgins and I. You've probably guessed that our feelings for each other go beyond the platonic." She waited for Cam's nod, and then continued wickedly, "I thought that you should know that we're pursuing a relationship. It won't interfere with our work, but it might change the atmosphere in here a bit, so I thought I should be straightforward about it."

If she was not much mistaken, that was guilt appearing in Cam's eyes. "Thank you for being honest, Angela. Remember that if it does start to interfere with the work we do here, I'll have to have one or both of you reassigned."

You hypocrite, Angela thought gleefully, but masked the emotion. "Of course. I knew with the history of work relationships here that it wouldn't be a problem."

The suddenly guarded expression on Cam's face let Angela know she had scored another direct hit. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know," she said blithely. "The flirting with that delivery courier, Zach's affair with Naomi in palaeontology, Brennan and that witness for the defence..."

Zing. Angela 3, Cam 0.

Now she definitely looked worried. And intrigued. "Dr. Brennan? Really? I thought she was too ethical to pursue a relationship that might influence with her work."

Hook, line, and sinker, Angela thought. Time to reel her in. "Oh, well, to be fair, she'd slept with him before. He was her college professor or something. I think he was married."

"What're you girls talking about?" Hodgins asked slyly, ascending the platform.

Angela covertly shot him a wink. "Brennan's professor. You remember, the one she destroyed on the witness stand and then slept with anyway?"

"She does seem to be very popular. Hey, remember Charlie the Rapid Delivery guy?"

The plot thickened as Booth entered the lab, swiping his access card as he came up the steps. "Charlie the overnight delivery guy? Is this the same delivery guy from the case with the guy in the bear?"

Angela confirmed with a nod. "I think they went skiing together that winter. Well, she said they went skiing, but I saw the skis when she came back and they had a fresh coat of wax."

"Damn," Booth said, shaking his head. "I was sure it was the cannibal doctor guy."

"Cannibal doctor guy?" squeaked Cam, just as surprised as Angela had hoped. "How many men has she slept with!?"

Hodgins shrugged. "Haven't been counting." Angela could have kissed him, but it would have ruined the effect.

"Since I started working here?" she asked rhetorically, pretending to count in her head.

But it was Booth who got in the next big hit. "Everyone she wants."

Oh, Booth, Angela thought with a smile, You've just signed your own death warrant. I almost feel bad for you.

"They do all seem to come back for more," Zach observed from the ground floor where he was looking through a microscope and taking notes. Angela wondered how long he'd been listening in. "There was Peter – he tried to convince her to stay with him after she got back from Guatemala, remember?"

"Oh yeah, and she thought he was robbing her and broke the TV he was carrying," Angela reminisced.

Booth dug his hole a little deeper. "Wait, that's why she doesn't have a TV?" He rubbed his hands together. "I cannot wait to tease her about that."

"Charlie and her old professor certainly can't seem to get enough."

"That jerk David won't leave her alone, either," Booth almost growled. Angela could have kissed him, too. Well, maybe not in front of Jack.

"I don't see it," Cam asserted in a valiant attempt to rally her spirits. "I mean, no offense, but she's sort of cold and reclusive, isn't she?"

"Oh, sure," Hodgins agreed.

"If she doesn't want to sleep with you," piped in Zach.

Angela forced herself to smile. "It may take her awhile to figure out what she wants – emotionally," she qualified. "But when it comes to satisfying biological imperatives, well-"

"Temperance Brennan always gets her man," Booth grinned. "And speaking of – where is she?" He held up the folder he'd been carrying. "We have a case."

"She's in her office," Angela said sweetly. "It might be locked, but you have a key, right?"

Booth looked wounded. "What, you think she's not going to let me in?" He tossed his keys at her just to prove she would, and then headed over.

"Anyway," said Angela brightly, "thanks for the chat. I'm glad I got that off my chest."

"Sure," Cam said quietly, looking like she had a lot on her mind. "No problem."

Angela turned away with a satisfied smile. Seed sown.