Title: Tone Deaf (CHRISTMAS "SPECIAL" - MERRY CHRISTMAS~)
By: Dark Dreamscape (regular) and Comrade Carlin (song parodies)
Author's note: I'm posting this because... I don't know, actually... Maybe because I didn't finish That's What You Get, though I'll finish it before next year? (Pft. I have a week left. A WEEK. Blargh.) Well anyways, Merry Christmas! And congrats, we all survived! ...No, not through the "21st Doomsday", I meant through an author's note!
Another note: (From Comrade Carlin. Hey guys, be nice and say hi~) I suggest you listen to the song parodies these are based off, as the majority of you probably know the real carols. Enjoy, and happy holidays. Thanks for all the favorites, followings, and reviews.
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail, or any other songs and/or song parodies in the following content of word vomit. OR anything Comrade Carlin did with the lyric parody.
Chapter 1: The Singing Plague of Truth
Part 1: Wreck the Guilds
Note: This is based off of the parody Wreck the Malls which is also based off Deck the Halls
"Hey..." a nonchalant voice drawled, "What do you think would happen if Fairy Tail tried to sing?" the person the speaker was talking to only replied with a bored 'Hn' and kept on doing the task he or she was busy with.
"Well," he or she kept rambling on, "you're boring." and once again, a mere 'Hn' was the reply.
A mere sigh. And then the casting of a magic circle.
(V)!_!(V)
"MERRY CHRISTMAS~!" the guild erupted into another happy, raucous party to celebrate the holidays with none other than their nakama. (That term just makes the most sense in this situation, no?) The suddenly, they started to feel as if someone cast a spell on them all, but then dismissed it as nothing happened afterwards.
It didn't take long for Natsu and Gray to start arguing, but before they could pull back their fists and start fighting, everybody started to do something weird - except for Gajeel and Mira - sing.
~Song~
Note: Pretty much everybody's singing this... Almost everybody, that is. Oh, bold is Lucy, underline is Juvia, and normal is Cana...
Wreck the guilds this Christmas season
Fa la la la la la la la la
Blow up your friends for no good reason
Fa la la la la la la la la
Push your magic to the limit
Fa la la la la la la la la
Cana's mug has nothing in it
Fa la la la la la la la la
Wreck the malls with my "friend" Gajeel (1)
Fa la la la la la la la la
Fly to Saber on our Exceeds (2)
Fa la la la la la la la la
Give Erza their strawberry cake
Fa la la la la la la la la
Trade something for Lucy's money
MY RENT MONEY!
Fa la la la la la la la la
Wreck the guild hall do some damage
Fa la la la la la la la la
Send the Fairies on a rampage
Fa la la la la la la la la
Acting in an uncouth manner
Fa la la la la la la la la
Drop your clothes and act like Gray
OH GRAY SAMAAA~
GRAY, PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!
Fa la la la - *HICCUP* - la la - *HICCUP* - la la - *HICCUP* - LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ~~~
(1) That's probably Natsu... Your choice, as the reader...
(2) And if you're not caught up with the series or just don't know, Saber is short for Sabertooth because I couldn't fit in all those syllables.
Part 2: The Restroom Door Said, "Gentlemen"
The mages of Fairy Tail soon regained their senses and started to wonder out loud why they were in Sabertooth's guild, of all places. Mumbling something about not being able to retire just yet, Makarov dragged his very much eager "kids" back to their own guild.
The party, back in full swing, was just as loud as before and nobody seemed to remember the turmoil they just caused at their enemy guild.
After a few minutes, Gajeel got up to use the restroom and noticed 'Salamander' and 'ice prick' walk past him, giggling madly like a bunch of high school girls. Upon his next situation, he griped and complained loudly about it, and once again, by singing. (Not that he doesn't sing, but he's not going to sing like he usually does in the series... And yes, Comrade Carlin has indeed read/watched Fairy Tail.)
Note: This is based off of the parody The Restroom Door Said, "Gentlemen" which is also based off God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
~Song~
Note: Italics is Gajeel
The restroom door said "Gentlemen" so I just walked inside
I took two steps and realized I've been taken for a ride
I heard high voices, turned and found the place was occupied
By Levy, angry Erza and a nurse (1)
What could be worse, than Levy, angry Erza and a nurse?
The restroom door said "Gentlemen" it must have been a gag
As soon as I walked in I ran into that old hag
She yelled at me very loudly and smacked me with her bag (2)
I could tell, this just wouldn't be my day
What can I say?
This just wasn't turning out to be my day
The restroom door said "Gentlemen" and I would like to find
Those stupid idiots who had the nerve to switch the sign
Now I have two black eyes and Erza's sword up my behind
Now I can't sit in comfort and joy
Boy oh boy, now I'll never sit in comfort and joy
(1) - Nurse because Polyschuka... No... Polyshuka... Wait... GRAH! She's the Fairy Tail nurse during the Grand Magic Games, so yeah... We kept most of the lyrics the same...
(2) - "Broom" doesn't rhyme with 'gag' or 'hag'... But then, 'bag' can refer to stuff, and she hits people with her broom anyways...
Part 3: I Wish You Weren't Living With Me
Note: This is based off of the parody We Wish You Weren't Living With Us, which in turn is based of the carol We Wish You a Merry Christmas
Lucy walked into her apartment after the sun had already bade goodbye and the stars were twinkling above, arms full of presents as she hummed an aimless tune with the holiday spirit. As usual, she was greeted by Natsu and Happy, who were doing what they did almost 24/7 although they just had a party at Fairy Tail.
But then she didn't know what suddenly compelled her to do it as she watched them eat everything out of her fridge. A magic spell, maybe?
Probably. Even if it was only for less than a minute, it was quite refreshing.
~Song~
Note: Italics is Lucy, bold is Natsu, and underlined is Happy
I wish you weren't living with me
I wish you weren't living with me
I wish you weren't living with me
I'm not happy you're here
Aye?
(Not you!)
You drive everybody crazy
You're hopelessly fat and lazy
You're constantly in the way here
So pack up your gear
Huh?
You're feeding your face
You're taking up space
I wish you weren't living with me
I'm not happy you're here
Where's the refrigerator? (I have a feeling I spelled this wrong... Someone please tell me if it's "refrigerator" with a 'd')
You use up all my rent money
And you always get motion sickness
How long do you plan on takin'
Advantage of me?
Lucy!
I wish you weren't living with me
I wish you weren't living with me
I wish you weren't living with me
So get out of here!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Lucy panted, trying to catch her breath from singing so whole heartedly. (Did I spell it wrong? Because it looks weird...) She didn't realize she had started to sing, and it kinda did make sense... But then she would be lonely without them, she knew deep down in her heart.
Natsu and Happy stared at her (...Such a hard character to portray... WARNING: OOC MOMENT. Now, you have been warned.) and then burst out into sudden laughter, as if nothing happened and Lucy just told a really funny joke.
Lucy, too, felt the laughter to be extremely contagious and joined in on their laughter, the earlier moment gone from the trio's minds.
(V)!_!(V)
"That was... A little funny, but maybe a little too much," the former admitted despairingly. "It could have been worse, at least."
"Could," the other emphasized.
"Hey, you were actually listening!" and to the speaker's sadness, another 'Hn', was the only reply received.
That was... A bunch of word vomit... Except for my co-writer's lyrics, they actually made a bit of sense... Sorry for (probably) ruining your holiday with this! ^^" PLEASE FORGIVE ME.
Well. HAPPY HANUKKAH, MERRY CHRISTMAS, AND AN EARLY HAPPY NEW YEAR! ...I hope I didn't forget anything people celebrate... If I did, please tell me and I'll change it! And I actually got to posting this in time for the end of this year's Christmas!
Did I forget to thank you guys and tell you all how much I love you? Well, if I did, I'm going to right now! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING!
-Jydaria