Darkness Beckons - Prologue
Disclaimer: The world of Supernatural is the property of Kripke, et. al. I'm borrowing it for a short time for this story.
Sam dragged his eyes away from the darkness through which they traveled. "Hey, Dean?"
"Yeah."
"When you were trapping that demon, you weren't…" Sam paused, dreading what he might hear before plunging ahead. "I mean, it was all a trick, right?" He glanced at Dean with a silent plea of denial. "You never considered actually making that. . . deal, right?"
Dean didn't answer and looked away out of the driver's window. Taking a breath, he said nothing before reaching out and popping in one of his cassettes. The silence was consumed.
Dean couldn't answer Sam's question. He didn't want to admit how tempted he had been to make a bargain for his family's sake with his life and soul. But it wasn't what Sammy thought. Dean knew there was no guarantee that John would return untouched and whole. He'd been possessed once and that had left a gateway. Making the deal for Dean's life with the demon had opened that door just a little more. John was dead, and the dead should stay dead. At least, that's what he'd been telling himself time and again since he had awakened in the hospital.
But Sam. Sam was alive and next to him. Listening to her seductive voice, a desperate thought had crossed Dean's mind. A new deal, a better deal. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her to take away Sammy's gift and all that went with it. All. If Sammy didn't have to resist, didn't have to suffer from the visions, didn't have to face the truth he didn't yet know, then Dean's death in ten years would definitely be worth it. Sam could take care of himself in a fight but against The Demon? That was another situation altogether. The Demon wanted Sam and the only things stopping it was Sam's hatred of it and Dean.
But a soldier doesn't willingly give up an advantage and, like it or not, Sam's ability gave their side an edge they might desperately need one day. So Dean did not strike his deal. His jaw clenched as he reaffirmed his promise first given many years ago that he would always watch out for Sam. He loved his brother too much to leave him alone to that thing's not-so-tender mercies. No. He would fight beside and in front of Sam to the bitter end.
Seeing his brother clench his teeth, Sam blinked back the tears he refused to shed. Dean had not answered him, but Sam knew him too well. Dean was still too torn up by their dad's death not to have been tempted. His brother had always had a dark side, but normally he disguised it with joking banter and teasing. Lately, the darkness had begun to twist at Dean and draw him down. Sam felt like he stood on a beach with the waves dragging the sand out from beneath his feet. Everything he'd worked for, fought for, lived for was vanishing. Because of him. What were The Demon's plans? Those plans had taken his mother, his girlfriend, his father from him. Now Dean was taking himself from Sam. Did he not want to be near Sam? Was his younger brother such a painful and constant reminder of what had happened to him through the years? Or was it something else? Sam clenched his fist on his left thigh. He wanted to slam his arm against the window but was afraid he'd crack the glass with his cast. Damaging the Impala would surely piss Dean off even more than he already was. Sam had hoped Dean would leave his rage behind when they had left Bobby's. Sam needed the old Dean back. He knew he'd become dependent on his brother but those roles had been forged since childhood. Bobby had said he'd listen to anything that Sam wanted to say, but Sam could only share those inner thoughts with Dean. But Dean wouldn't listen. Night after night, Sam had lain awake not because of any visions but fear of more nightmares. They had returned full force. He'd felt fortunate that Dean often went out until late when they were in a motel. Dean never heard his brother's incoherent pleas or saw him right after he'd awakened. A year ago, Sam's darkened eyes would have drawn Dean's concern; not now. Now, Dean saw only what he allowed himself to see. The hunt brought him back to life like nothing else did. But it was a life on the edge. Sam felt alone even when Dean was standing beside him. He wanted to help his brother, talk him through his anger, rage, and admitted shame. But Dean refused. Sam had swallowed his own feelings to make it easier on his brother. Heaven knew how much trouble Sam had been to Dean all his life. Dean didn't need to be burdened by Sam's pain as well.
He clutched his arms around him and suppressed a shiver. Dean blamed himself for John's deal with the demon. Sam blamed himself for The Demon knowing about the Winchesters in the first place. Sam was on a roller coaster right before it dropped down. He knew the fall was coming, but no matter how much he screamed, nothing would stop the inevitable. Sam's hope was that his fall would hurt only him. He feared that hope was in vain. He stared back out into the darkness, a scream discernable to only his ears slowly building inside.
A/N: Reviews would be greatly appreciated so I can know what you thought about this so far. Thanks. It will be a bit before the next chapter is up due to the holiday, etc. but it will come, I promise.