"Harry is dead, Severus." Whatever it was that McGonagall said next, Snape didn't hear it. He had already fainted.
It had been a week since Severus fainted. A week since he found out that his lover was dead. No body had been found. The only piece of evidence of Harry ever being in that area was another pile of ash across from Voldemort's, and his wand.
It had been a week and they already had a new DADA professor. He was young. His brown hair almost reached his shoulders and his eyes were ocean blue. He was introduced at the staff meeting.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," Dumbledore said addressing the staff, "this is our new defense professor Evan Jennings. Let us welcome him to Hogwarts and hope that he can shed as much light as our Harry once did." There was polite applause as Jennings smiled a shy smile and sat down in the chair that used to be Harry's. Severus scowled. The chair was next to his own.
"Now, on to other pressing matters." Dumbledore continued. Instead of listening, Jennings turned around and offered his hand to Snape.
"Hello! It's Severus, isn't it?" Snape scowled. "Yes, I heard you were difficult to deal with."
Severus glared harder at the bright face; the eyes shone just like… He cut off the thought. He wouldn't think of him. Not if he didn't want to make a complete fool of himself in front of the entire staff. He growled instead and stormed out of the meeting.
Severus was interrupted from his drunken reverie by a knock on his door.
"What?" he growled.
"Severus, I would really like to apologize for earlier."
"You just have. Now go away."
"No, please just let me in."
Severus sneered. Jennings was just as stubborn as…
"Fine." He opened the door and Jennings walked in.
"I'm so sorry if I upset you earlier." Severus scoffed at him. "I know you lost someone."
Severus' eyes flashed with anger. "You know nothing!" he said in a gravelly voice.
"Actually, I do. I lost someone fairly recently as well. Someone I loved dearly."
That caused Snape to look up. Maybe the man did know how he felt. "Would you like something to drink?" he asked.
This time, Jennings smirked. "That would be nice."
Severus pointed to a whisky bottle. "Help yourself." After a couple minutes the two men were settled and staring into the fire.
"What was he like?" Jennings finally asked.
"I do not believe that is any of your business."
"You remind me of him." Evan said.
"Who?"
"My lover. He was grumpy like you. Very short tempered." Jennings looked wistfully into his glass. "I miss him something awful." There was a pause.
"His name was Harry. He was impossible, arrogant, and short tempered but I did love teasing him." Severus smirked at the memories that flooded his mind. "Impertinent brat."
Jennings smiled.
"Hello, Severus," Jennings said walking into Snape's rooms. The meeting they had a month ago had now become regular meetings every night.
"Evan." Severus acknowledged.
The glasses were already set out and filled. Evan grabbed his glass and sat in the chair next to Severus. "How were your classes today?"
Severus snorted. "Same as always. I swear Lucas Nightwing is this year's Neville Longbottom. He blew up another cauldron. I fear I may have to start billing his parents should this keep up." The two men laughed.
"I have heard that Longbottom went on to be quite the herbologist, though. He couldn't have been that much of a failure to become so well known… How are you doing?" Evan asked.
Severus sighed. "Life is more bearable now, I will admit, but I would still give anything to have him back. To be able to touch him again." Severus took a drink of his whisky.
"I understand."
"I don't think you do."
"No, you're right, my lover didn't die. We lost each other, though. I do miss him."
"Yes, but you could see him any time should you wish."
"That is true." Evan paused and looked at Snape. "Severus?" Evan took the glass from Severus' hand and set it on the table. "Look at me."
Severus didn't budge. Evan got up from his seat and knelt by Snape's feet. "Severus." Evan looked up into Snape's face.
"I miss him." It was the first time Severus had said it out loud.
"I know." Evan looked hopelessly into Severus' eyes then leaned forward and kissed him. Severus pulled back, eyes still closed.
"I can't." Severus shook his head.
"Severus?"
"No. Please leave."
Evan sighed. Severus kept his head down until he left.
"Severus, my boy… are you well?" Dumbledore asked looking at him across the staff table at breakfast.
Severus knew he didn't look well. His eyes had dark, baggy circles under them and he hadn't eaten any of his food. Evan looked up.
"I'm as well as can be expected, Headmaster."
Evan looked guiltily at Albus and back down at his plate again before rising and leaving the Great Hall.
"I can't, Albus." Severus heard Jennings' sobs as he was heading towards Dumbledore's office. He stopped when he heard the man's voice. "I can't wait much longer. I just can't. Have you seen him? He looks like death!"
Where they talking about him?
"Soon, my boy, I promise. Severus has managed this long. It will not be much longer."
Well that answered that question. Severus straightened himself up before walking around the corner scowling.
"Albus, may I have a word with you?"
"Certainly, my boy. I will talk to you later Evan."
"Yes, sir."
A week later the news that the remaining Death Eaters were captured sent the castle into celebration. Severus went to celebrate by himself with a glass of Firewhisky.
He was well and truly pissed by the time a knock sounded on his door. He ignored it. Let them knock till their knuckles were bloody. He took another sip of his precious liquor. The knocking started turning into banging.
"Damn it, Severus; let me in!"
Snape's response was to take just another sip from his cup.
"If you do not let me in then I will come in myself and you will not like having your door blown to splinters!"
"Bloody drama queen." With a flick of his wrist the door opened to show a very perturbed Defense teacher.
Evan stalked into the room and went straight to Severus' personal potions cabinet and took out a sobering draught.
"I need to talk to you and I need you sober. Drink this."
"No." Severus took another, much larger drink from his glass. He didn't want to be sober. It hurt too much.
"Do not make this harder then it has to be, Severus Snape." Another drink. "Fine. Petrificus Totalus." Snape went rigid. Harry opened the man's mouth and poured the potion in. He massaged Snape's throat making sure it all went down. "Finite Incantatem."
Snape sagged in his chair; his head bent down and tears started welling up in his eyes. Harry should be there with him. He should be celebrating with him.
"I want him back!" Severus all but yelled. "I want him back with me. I need him. I miss him so much."
"Sev."
Severus gasped. No.
"I've missed you too."
It's impossible. He's dead. Severus opened his eyes slowly expecting see a ghost. Instead he saw a very opaque and very much alive Harry. His breath hitched as he reached his hand out.
It was him. An embarrassing sob escaped his throat as tears seeped from his eyes.
"Harry," he whispered.
"I'm so sorry, Sev. I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you sooner. I wanted to – I really wanted to, but I couldn't. It was too soon. I couldn't let anyone know I was still alive. I'm so sorry." Harry wrapped his arms around the sobbing Potions master.
"Don't you ever leave me like that again! Ever!" Severus had a death grip on the emerald-eyed man.
"You understand why I couldn't tell you, right? I don't want you mad at me, Sev. Please tell me you understand." Severus nodded against Harry's shoulder.
"Come on, love," Harry said tugging Severus up from his chair. "Let's go to bed." The firm grasp Harry had on the older man's hand promised much to come. Not just sex but also comfort, love, and a chance to make up for lost time.
Severus held on tightly to the raven-haired man next to him. He would never let his Harry go. Never again.
He pulled the bonding rings from his bedside table. After putting his on he slipped the other on his lover's finger. He smiled as he thought of how Harry would react when he saw it in the morning. He cuddled closer to his soon-to-be-bonded. He smiled because he would be able to see it. Able to see how his young lover would react, and that was worth more than anything to him.
Severus closed his eyes, drifting into the best sleep he'd had in two months.