Peeta walked out the door. I thought about scolding myself for even talking to him when a realization came to me. I wasn't angry with myself. I had wanted to talk to Peeta for ages now.

I walked into my kitchen and sat on my counter, picking up an apple. If Snow were smart he wouldn't do anything drastically so soon. The Victory Tour was coming up in a few days and robbing the Capitol of that fun would raise a fuss.

When did the Victory Tour actually start? I couldn't even remember today's date, let alone the day the Tour started. I leaned forward to look at my calendar, which had mostly been ripped to pieces by me. Reading the date, I gasped.

The Tour started tomorrow.

I wasn't prepared for it. This was the first time Peeta and I had spoken since the cameras left 12. We couldn't go from not talking to lovers in a day.

I missed him and meant the words I had said. I wanted him to bother me again. I just needed him near me, because I felt better around him.

I picked up a plate and through it out my window. It hit the side of Haymitch's house. A smile spread across my face, because I felt guilty after doing that. I hadn't felt anything in a long time.

Just seeing Peeta.

Just seeing him had made me more human. I felt a breeze come through the window. It was getting colder, a feeling I had almost completely forgotten. The Games had been warm. What did coolness feel like? Would it snow?

It was weird, but I wanted to be outside.

I grabbed a hat and pulled all my hair up under it. It wasn't that cold yet, but still I pulled an overly large coat out of my closet and put it on too. I was used to sweating; it was more natural to me than shivering.

Quickly, I ran out of the door and slammed it shut. My body leaned against it, letting it support all my weight. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to take a step forward. I strayed from my normal path that led to Haymitch's house and found myself walking towards Peeta's. When I reached his door, I stood in front of it, hand suspended. Ready to knock. If I was brave enough.

Rolling my eyes, I thought to myself, "Gosh, Ivy. You can win the Games, but you can't knock on Peeta Mellark's door. He might not even be home."

"Hey! That's Victor's Village! You can't be in…"

I turned around, dropped my hand, and looked guilty, though I knew I had no reason to be.

"I happen to be a victor. So, I think I can be here," I laughed as I tugged the hat from my head, letting my blonde hair spill from the top of my head.

"Sorry, Ivy. I didn't recognize you with the coat and the hat," he answered, standing awkwardly by the sidewalk of Peeta's house.

"You know, I could say the same thing to you," I took a couple of steps towards him, "You're not allowed to be here." He shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Yeah, well. I was looking for Katniss."

"Well, as far as I know she's not here. You could always knock, and ask Peeta," I offered, gesturing to the door. I still didn't want to knock at the door myself, so this was my attempt to get someone else to knock for me.

"I'm not in too much of a hurry," he replied.

"Yeah, me neither," I lied, looking around.

"What were you doing here?" he asked. I looked back at the door and quickly came up with an excuse.

"I was looking for someone to go for a walk with," I blurted out loudly. I knew he would see through my life; I was a terrible liar. But I was pretty sure he thought that I still loved Peeta, as did most of Panem.

"I was too. You wanna go…" he trailed off, not finishing his sentence.

"Go?" I prompted.

"On a walk with me," he said, letting his long black hair fall in front of his eyes. I did want to go to the forest, to the pond more like it. Part of me really didn't want to go on a walk with him, but the other part of me decided it was better than nothing.

"Yes," I smiled, "thank you, Gale."

We walked side by side to the fence. He was about to climb over it, when I stopped him.

"I can't climb very well," I murmured. He laughed.

"Why didn't you just say so? Here, I'll help you," he offered me a hand. I shook my head.

"No, I don't want to be a problem. I'll just go down a little farther and crawl under," I started to walk away. Gale grabbed my hand, but I didn't turn to face him.

"That broken fence is just about a mile away. It'd be a problem if you walked that far when I could just help you over. Now, don't be proud. Just let me help you," Gale said. Without a word, I turned around. Gale showed me how to climb up and over the fence. The fence was only about twice my height, but it frightened me just the same.

I was on the very top of the fence. Gale jumped off and landed on the other side. He looked up at me.

"This is very nice and all, sitting up here. But how do I get down?" I cried. He laughed.

"Jump!"

"Are you kidding me?" I asked.

"Are you kidding me?! You won the Hunger Games. You can jump off of a fence," he reasoned.

"I'll fall."

"I'll catch you then," he held up his arms. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I couldn't help but see myself lying on the ground with every bone in my body broken. Biting my tongue, my feet pushed off the fence.

My eyes were still tightly squeezed shut. I felt my body hit something, but not the ground.

I opened one eye to see Gale's face smiling at me.

"I knew I could do it," I muttered, getting out of his arms quickly.

"You're welcome," he said sarcastically. I led the way through the forest, and Gale followed me.

To be honest, I didn't know what I was doing. Gale and I had only talked a few times after the Games. The last time we talked had been through my closed front door.

"Ivy, are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Why can't I come in?"

I sighed, "Um…"

"If you're not okay, just say so. I could just leave."

"Gale, I'm not okay."

"Do you need anything? We can talk."

"Gale, I don't think you would understand."

"Okay. Goodbye, Ivy."

Footsteps.

"Goodbye."

Gale didn't know the Games like I knew them. He tried to understand them, but I didn't try to understand. Because to me understanding meant agreeing. But, despite having the same hatred for the Hunger Games as I did, I couldn't talk to Gale about them.

If I told him that I cried almost every night because of a dream about Rue, I think he would laugh.

In other words, Gale wasn't Peeta.

"So, what have you been up to then?" I asked.

"Helping my mom. Hunting with Katniss. Trying to talk to you," he said. I knew he meant it as a joke, but I still felt bad.

"I'm sorry about last time…"

"Don't be. I knew you needed time alone. I just didn't think time alone meant weeks," he said. I smiled at him.

"Do you know where I'm taking you?"

"No."

"But you're letting me take you somewhere," I smirked.

"Yeah," he shrugged.

"You're either bored or crazy," I stated. He chuckled.

"What about you? Why did you finally come out?"

"Finally?"

"No one has seen you for weeks, like I said. Matt's been worried. Prim misses you too," Gale said.

"I doubt that Poi… Matt is that concerned for me. As for Prim, why didn't she come see me? If people were worried… I don't know. They know where I live!" I exclaimed. Gale was silent for a moment. I almost felt the need to stop walking.

"Have you been with him?"

"Him being Peeta?"

"Yes."

I had to say yes, because Peeta and I were in love. Everyone was supposed to know that. It was why I was still alive. Why they had allowed both Peeta and I to survive the Games.

"No."

Gale's face started to brighten.

"No?"

"Not a whole lot," I murmured, almost regretting the decision to tell him the truth. Gale's face seemed to be unnaturally neutral. He turned to me a couple times, like he wanted to say something to me. But he always ended up turning the other way.

I wanted to be able to say yes. I just wanted to be with Peeta all the time. That vision that I had of us together, raising a family in Victor's Village… I wanted it to be real one day. But I had ruined everything.

"Where are you taking me?" he asked after a couple minutes. I breathed out heavily, trying to see my breath in the cold.

"We're here," I whispered. The pond reflected the sun. I shielded my eyes from the glare.

"Katniss and I used to come here all the time! We would swim when we were younger! I didn't know you knew this place! Come on," he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the water.

He went to a log and pulled out a fishing rod.

"Fishing?" I asked.

"We could always use more food," he mumbled.

"But I thought the winner's district had food for a year?"

"Yes, I know. But always good to be prepared," he said. I started to sit down on the log when Gale yelled, "No!"

He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him. Holding me close, he pulled me along. We were right next to the pond now. I wanted to pull away from him, but Gale was holding me tightly.

"What the hell was that?" I asked angrily.

"There was a snake. I didn't especially want to have to suck venom out of your leg," he said, trying to make a joke out of the situation. My head got foggy.

"A snake."

"Are you okay? It didn't bite you, did it?" he asked. He held my face in his hands, studying my face. I shook my head a little, trying to get the fog out. And trying to make his hands leave. I didn't want Gale; I didn't want him near me like this. I wanted Peeta.

"Uh… no! No! It didn't bite me. I'm just… terrified of snakes," I breathed.

I wasn't scared of snakes. I was scared of the memories of snakes.

"Me too," he mumbled. He took a step away from me and scratched his head. "But you can't tell anyone that!"

"Why?" I asked. His hands fiddled with the fishing rod, as he looked down.

"I'm supposed to be strong, for my family. You know?"

"I don't get how a fear of something makes you weak," I said, crossing my arms. Gale thought for a moment, still looking into my face.

"I don't get it either. I don't get you."

"Me?" I asked. I pointed at myself for unnecessary emphasis. Gale set the fishing rod down and walked forward. I took a couple steps back. We stood a couple of feet away from each other.

"I don't get how after only talking a couple of times you have managed to get under my skin and make me confess my fears. I don't get how I can look at your face forever, memorize it even, and still want to look at it more. And I don't get how you can say one simple statement, but it leaves me thinking for ages. I don't get any of it. Do you?"

I didn't get it. But I felt the same way. For Peeta. We talked for a day on the train and were immediately best friends. We talked a couple times after that, and I was in love with him. I still gazed at him face whenever I was near him.

"I don't. I wish I could," I said. Gale loomed over me, yet I didn't feel small. I felt almost… stronger. I stuck my hands in my large pockets.

Gale's hands hovered over my arms. He hesitated and then lowered his hands.

"Any particular reason you came to the pond?" he asked. He checked the ground for snakes before taking off his own jacket and spreading it down like a blanket. He sat down and gently pulled me down next to him. I pulled my legs up and under my large coat, feeling like a child.

"I've always loved it here. But I've had many…" I didn't know how do to describe losing two loved ones for completely different reasons in a word.

"Experiences?"

"Life-changing experiences," I mumbled. Gale looked at me.

"Can I ask what kind of adventures?" he looked curious. I realized that the same question would come out of my mouth if our positions were swapped. So I answered him.

"My sister died here," I said, my voice cracking a little. I wouldn't cry though. I didn't cry anymore.

"Madge?" Gale asked, like he was struggling to remember her name. I bit the inside of my cheek.

No tears. No tears. No tears.

"Yes. And I lost another person here too," I said. I made it clear that I was going to leave it at that.

"I lost someone here too. I found her here with someone else."

Was he talking about Katniss?

"I'm sorry."

"I don't mind much anymore," Gale's face turned towards mine. I felt my stomach turn. I prayed he wasn't doing what I think he was doing.

"Anymore?"

"Nope."

"Oh."

Gale's face leaned in closer.

One of his hands went behind my head and gently pulled my lips up to his.