Pairing: TemarixIno past ShikamaruxIno and past ShikamaruxTemari

Genre: Romance/humour

Summary: Who would've thought that both of Shikamaru's ex-girlfriends would've ended up together?

Rating: PG-13

Who would've thought that both of Shikamaru's ex-girlfriends would've ended up together? Well, they did, and as hard as he tried to tell himself otherwise; Shikamaru was jealous. As a matter of fact, he was SO jealous, that he wasn't even sure who he was more jealous of.

Ino was a better cook, but Temari bitched less. Ino had great legs, but Temari had bigger boobs. Dammit! It was all so confusing! Not to mention troublesome.

It was kinda all his fault though. If he hadn't cheated on them with each other, than they wouldn't have seeked out each other's understanding and sympathy, and ended up having sex.

Now they were just one-little-lovey-dovey-adultery-free-lesbian-couple, and it was driving him crazy. They weren't even bothering to keep it private.

They could often be found walking around Konoha, hand in hand like there wasn't a care in the world. Sometimes, they stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk and kissed passionatly, as if they were the only ones there.

Both of them were very pro-PDA, and Shikamaru knew that from experience. He would always complain when one of them tried to kiss him in public, but now that he's watching the two of them do it...

He just wished it was HIM kissing the hot blonde girl in the middle of people's walk way, ignoring the glares of dissapproval from old people and giggling of immature children.

As he watched them from close by (in a henge form, obviously) he wanted no more then to be Ino. Or Temari. Damnit! He still couldn't decide! Or perhaps he could even have both...Yes, that would be ideal.

They just looked so...content. Shikamaru never once saw them bicker or quarrel like he used to do with them. Really, the two of them had a whole lot in common. They were both loud, blonde, bossy, cocky, argumentative...and, that turned him on.

You'd think that with such qualities, they'd fight more, but all he ever saw them do was kiss, and cuddle, and giggle.

And he'd been seeing alot of them together lately. For one thing, he was following them at every moment possible. For another thing; Temari had practically made Konoha her primary home ever since she got together with Ino. She never came around that often when it was her and Shikamaru. Otherwise, he wouldn't have been able to so readily date both girls at once.

Anyway, little did he know, the girls were acutely aware of his constant stalking of them, and behind closed doors, things were quite different...

As soon as the pair entered Ino's house, they dropped each others hands and plopped down on the couch in her living room.

"I wonder why he's so amused by following us around everywhere,"

"Well, its obvious that he does it because he wants me back so bad that he can't stand to see me with someone else," Ino replied with a smirk.

"As if! It's ME he wants back! Why would he want you worse than me, little miss b-cup!" Temari retorted, puffing out her chest to accentuate her already prominent breasts.

"I don't need d's for him to like me better! Mine are perkier! And besides, It's obvious that Shikamaru is a leg man, and my legs are hotter than yours!" Ino found it necesary to prove her point further by lifting up her skirt and modeling her long, smooth legs for the other.

Temari took that as an invitation of sorts, and ran her hand softly up the outside of Ino's leg.

"They are pretty nice, aren't they?"

"Yeah, and your tits aren't so bad themselves," Ino agreed, and put her hand down the front of Temari's shirt, and leaving it there.

"I rather like them. Yours are okay too, I guess. And I suppose your sexy legs make up for any mediocrities of your chest..."

Somewhat angered by the fact that her own girlfriend had just called her chest mediocre, Ino pinched her breast roughly.

"You know what, bitch? Just suck it!" Ino exclaimed, pointing to her crotch.

"You don't have a PENIS!"

"Well, if I did, I'd MAKE you suck it!"

"I'd OFFER!"

All anger forgotten, they kissed hard, and desperately, with wandering hands, and flying clothing. As Ino was about to remove the older kunoichi's last remaining article of clothing, she was stopped.

Breathing heavily, Temari said:

"Ino? Can you get your cat out of here? I feel like he's watching us, and its kinda ruining the mood,"

Ino raised an eyebrow like Temari was crazy.

"I don't have a cat,"

A beat.

"SHIKAMARU!"

'busted,' -poof-

OWARI