AN: I actually wrote this a while ago but I'm just now getting around to finally posting it now. Mainly because I am completely up to date on supernatural now, and I have a couple fanfics in the works that I don't want to end up adding all at the same time.
Disclaimer: I don't own this, because the world seems to enjoy crushing my dreams.
He really should be worried. His brother is missing, wiped off the face of the Earth. He should probably feel worried, frightened, frantic, and maybe even a little guilty. He most certainly shouldn't be walking off cheerfully with the nice girl whose name he can't even remember, when his brother hasn't even been gone half an hour. He should be out there searching every inch of that cornfield. Tearing apart the town to find his missing older brother. He should be doing something. He knows that. But he isn't.
He knows this isn't how it's supposed to work; he's not an idiot. He's having a good time though, he does what he wants when he wants. That is, except when Dean says not to. He might argue and he might whine but in the end he'll do what "Big Bro" says. He wants to say it's because he trusts his brother, but trust is a feeling and he doesn't have those any more. Really, he just can't be bothered to argue.
He must have some sense of self-preservation left because he doesn't want to die, that's for sure. It's just that things don't matter to him now. He is, in truth, mindless. Sure, he's still smart, maybe smarter than before, but he's not wise. He knows that. He knows he should be out there looking for Dean, but right now he wants to head back to the hotel room with this pretty girl. but is want a feeling?
He doesn't have a clue what's right and what's wrong or why he really even needs his soul back, and this should make him hopelessly confused. But, it doesn't because, hello, missing soul here, and really he doesn't entirely care if he gets it back. Unfortunately, this -the quest for his soul- is all he's got right now. He needs this goal but, to tell the truth, it's really just Dean's goal. He wonders what will happen if he just quits, stays how he is and keeps on hunting. Maybe he'll go crazy.
He's got no clue what to do now, because all he's steering by is the fact that Dean will do what's right. He used to think that he could trust all family, and look where that got him: thrown to the dogs by his own grandfather. No, Dean's all he's got and it should bother him that his brother is gone. It should bother him that he's not out there looking, that instead he's going to sleep with this pretty hippie chick. Hell, there's a list of things a mile long that should bother him, but don't. And the thing that should bother him most of all is that none of these things bother him. He knows that.
He just doesn't care.
AN: Thanks for reading! Now see the nice little blue button? It's calling to you. Can you hear it? It's saying to write a review. You should listen. It's a truthful little blue button.