Hey everyone this is the prologue for the story. I have no date set in mind for when I will begin it but I wanted to post this to see how interested everyone would be. I have heaps of ideas and have the general plot outlined. Once I get my prompts and other one shots done, can concentrate on getting this started
This is AU from Season 2 last episode. Sebastian will be introduced in later chapters. For now this will delve into Kurt being admitted and why. This is loosely based off the music video for 'After Midnight' by Blink 182, I generally got the inspiration from the video...
Enjoy the prologue and let me know what you think, I'm excited to begin this new multi chaptered story.
KxS
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Kurt watched the seconds hand moving over, as it neared the twelve, signaling the hour he would have been in this office.
"Kurt"
Kurt blinked, looking away from the clock and facing Dr Warren, who was getting impatient.
"I repeat, Kurt do you know why you are here" Dr Warren asked, resting his chin between his thumb and index finger.
Kurt blinked and turned his attention back to the clock, his mind beginning to drift as Dr Warren's calls for his attention became static noise.
Ever since Kurt was little, he knew he was different. His sexuality wasn't the sole reason for feeling like he couldn't fit in. Kurt harbored a secret, one he knew no one would understand if he told them. So he carried it besides him for years.
It was when he was five years old that he first realized he was different. It happened one day when his mother was making dinner, cutting up veges in the kitchen. Kurt watched her move, the way the knife cut the veges clean through and how precise it was.
The phone rang and his mother left to answer it, patting his head lightly as she passed him.
Kurt walked over to the chair at the table, dragging it over to the sink. He hoisted himself up and reached for the knife on the table. It ended up getting knocked to the floor. It was at that moment that his mother footsteps sounded, signaling her return. Kurt got off the chair and in his haste to collect the knife before she arrived back in the room, he ended up grabbing the wrong end and cutting his palm.
Kurt's mother yelled his name and rushed over to attend to him. Kurt didn't pay attention as he watched his cut oozing blood down his arm. He was transfixed on the site. The pain a distant throb and his mothers tears and hugs barely noticeable. He felt so many things he couldn't describe at that moment and it was then and there, he became hooked.
Kurt began cutting himself when he was older and able to understand how he felt, it was also around the time his mother died and Kurt had felt so out of control he realized how he needed to bring control back. The knife was the answer, so he picked it up and cut his arm. Watching the way the blood moved down his arm slowly made him feel like he was in control and he could easily cut too deep if he wanted to. The rush made him addicted.
Kurt kept at it, but made sure his cuts were where no one could see. His father did have suspicions something was going on but the transfer happened and Kurt was saved from having to explain why he preferred long sleeves. Turned out the bruises from locker slams were a good excuse to not wanting to show off his arms.
Eventually it all came to a head. Just before the beginning of his senior year, Kurt and his boyfriend Blaine made the decision to go all the way.
Kurt had managed to keep his shirt on this whole time they had been dating so far and Blaine understood, knowing that the bruises would be awkward for Kurt to display.
But Blaine wanted to see Kurt now and Kurt was running out of excuses as to why he could keep his shirt on during sex. Maybe showing Blaine would be a good thing, he needed to feel less alone and Blaine loved him.
So with that in mind, Kurt made a decision. That night in Blaine's room, Kurt pulled off of his boyfriend and reached up to take his shirt off.
Blaine's intake of breath was far from the sound Kurt had hoped he would hear.
"Kurt what is this?" Blaine's shaky voice demanded.
Kurt turned his gaze from his discarded shirt on the floor and met Blaine's eyes, his frightened eyes.
"It's my story, my art" Kurt stammered.
"It's disgusting Kurt, why would you keep this from me. Did you think I would be happy to know you were cutting and thought it would be OK to hide it" Blaine snapped, his eyes narrowing.
"No" Kurt gasped, shaking his head. This was all wrong and he was feeling out of control, he needed his knife more than ever.
"Then why?" Blaine began to demand, his voice getting louder in the silent room.
"Because I feel in control" Kurt shouted back.
"You're not suicidal?" Blaine asked, his face turning surprised.
"No, I do this because if I don't I will lose control" Kurt hissed, snatching the shirt off the floor and beginning to put it back on.
"I don't understand" Blaine spluttered, Kurt scowled and turned to head to Blaine's bathroom. The need to cut was becoming more urgent.
Blaine followed Kurt but was stopped by Kurt slamming the bathroom door, ignoring Blaine's demands to come back out. Kurt reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out his pocket knife. He kept it there if the urge became too much.
Lifting up his shirt, he flicked the knife before dragging it along his belly. Closing his eyes as the familiar urges died and were replaced by the satisfactory sting.
"Kurt, fuck" Blaine yelled, rattling the door.
Kurt turned and opened the door, revealing to Blaine what he wanted to make him understand.
"Kurt, what" Blaine shouted, rushing forward and grabbing the hand towel and pressing it to Kurt's stomach.
"Why" Blaine babbled.
"To make you understand" Kurt said in monotone.
KxS
Blaine dumped Kurt that night, leaving Kurt feeling like he really wasn't normal. As much as Kurt tried to explain why he cut himself, it really wasn't enough to make Blaine change his mind. He couldn't be with someone who hurt themselves like Kurt did.
So Kurt was alone again.
But he wouldn't be for long. Kurt didn't know it then but in a month, he would be sitting in front of Dr Warren for his first therapy session at Lima Psychiatric hospital.
The moment that everything changed was the week of his senior year. Mr Shue had decided to involve sports into Glee and set up a game of dodgeball in the gym.
Kurt left his bag in the locker room and slipped his knife into his long-sleeved shirt he was wearing before making his way to the gym.
"Gather around" Mr Shue called out, waving his hands.
The Glee club all moved into a circle.
"OK boy's vs girls and let's also make it shirts and skins" Mr Shue said.
The class nodded, Puck preening at the chance to show off.
"So I'm guessing the guys are skins, since my boobs would cause too many distractions" Santana quipped.
Mt Shue just shock his head, not bothering to reply.
Kurt tried not to panic as the boys all pulled off their shirts. He hoped Mr Shue would let him be a shirt.
No such luck.
"Kurt are you going to join the guys or what" Mr Shue said.
Kurt fiddled with the edge of his sleeve, feeling a panic attack starting.
"Kurt, come on be a team player" Puck called out.
"Can't I join the girl's team" Kurt stammered.
"No Kurt, you're with the boys, it's an odd number otherwise" Mr Shue retorted.
Kurt shock his head as Mr shue folded his arms across his chest.
"Stop being a wimp and take off your shirt, I'm sure our eyes will adjust to your pale chest" Santana shouted.
Kurt felt the urges claw up and he reached into his pocket, touching the knife lightly, to feel grounded.
"Kurt, now" Mr Shue demanded.
Kurt turned around and took in a deep breath and un did his shirt and let it drop to the floor.
The dull hum of chatter instantly died, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The silence was broken as the dodge ball hit the ground. Kurt turned to see the shocked faces of his friends.
"Kurt" Rachel gasped out, her chin quivering.
Kurt stepped back, his heart thumping hard in his chest. Why were they looking at him like that. He wanted it to stop.
"Why are you cutting yourself?" She demanded.
"Berry" Puck snapped.
Kurt shock his head, reaching up and gripping his hair.
"Stop staring" he shouted loudly.
"Kurt, we're worried" Quinn called out.
"Kurt please" Rachel said.
Kurt hated it, hated the pity. Hated the stares. He wanted it gone. He turned and grabbed his shirt, snatching out the knife.
His friends began yelling as Kurt flicked the blade free.
"Kurt drop it" Mr Shue called.
Kurt ignored him as he set his eyes on his best friend who was still staring at him, her eyes wide.
"I said stop fucking staring at me" Kurt shouted.
Before anyone could stop him, Kurt hurried forward and slashed the knife along Rachel's' arm. She screamed loudly. Kurt went to cut again but he was grabbed from around the waist and pulled back. Puck and Finn held on tight as Kurt kicked out, sneering.
Rachel sobbed openly as Quinn wrapped a shirt around her arm.
The eyes of his friends moved between them both.
Puck and Finn began to drag him from the room.
"Now you can stare at her" Kurt called out.
It was a blur of hurried movement after that, Kurt was brought into the principals office by Puck and Finn, both in shock as they shoved Kurt into the seat.
Mr Shue walked in and explained what had happened and Figgins called Burt.
Finn was white as he hurried to check on Rachel, he hadn't recognized Kurt. What had just happened. He wasn't the only one thinking that. As they all huddled with Rachel, waiting for the ambulance. The only thing on their mind was why.
When Burt got there, he was at his wits end. Mr Shue explained what had happened. Kurt sat still, not saying a word.
Burt asked to speak to Kurt alone, once the others left he told Kurt that he suspected something was going on.
Kurt didn't reply.
"I can't do this Kurt, I feel like I've lost you. You need help" Burt said.
Kurt turned to him and smiled.
Burt swallowed. He had calls to make.
Kurt was taken home and went to bed while Burt called a few places. Once he sorted everything, he went up and woke up Kurt.
Kurt packed silently with Burt watching him. Kurt seemed resigned to his fate and that scared Burt.
He got no response from Kurt as he took him to the car, Finn arrived and looked torn about saying goodbye.
Kurt gave a small nod before he entered the car.
"It's for the best" Burt said sadly to Finn who nodded then went inside.
Kurt still said nothing as they drove. While Burt checked him in and walked to Kurt's room, he still stayed silent.
Burt placed Kurt's bag down and turned to him.
"Bye son, I love you. I'll visit soon" Burt said.
Kurt gazed at him blankly before letting out a sob, he launched forward and hugged his dad.
Burt hugged him back. "Concentrate on getting better" Burt said.
Kurt nodded. "I love you" He gasped out.
"Kurt" Dr Warren repeated.
Kurt sighed and turned away from the clock, it had hit an hour and ten minutes now. The session was almost over.
"Yes doctor" Kurt spoke up for the first time.
Dr warren tapped his pen against the table, watching Kurt carefully.
"Do you know why you're here?" Dr warren asked for the second time.
Kurt smiled slowly. "Yes I do" he answered.
TBC...
Ok there ya have it, the prologue.
Sorry if it's vague but it's the intro and more will be posted soon.
I hope this is enough to reel you in.
I look forward to seeing what you think.
Till next time,
keep reviewing and commenting.
You're all awesome
x
Rach