The Bunny Dilemma

By Mournful Wolf

The Cullen family was off hunting in the Olympian Range as usual. They stuck close to the dense undergrowth and away from public attention. They split up by fours (1st group: Carlisle, Esme, Edward and Bella) (2nd group: Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice) in search of potential predatory meals.

Bella unintentionally stumbled into a grizzly bear's cave, and she ran out screaming like a bat out of hell. Carlisle and Edward reached the spot on time to save Bella from being torn to shreds and they easily finished off the huge, lumbering bear.
As the group feasted on their lucky catch in the pine grove, Bella headed out to the clearing to wait for them to finish.

A few minutes later Edward, Carlisle and Esme reunited with Bella in the meadows.

"Yummy. That bear was nice and juicy and fat." Edward smacked his lips.

"It has a lot of hair though." Carlisle wrinkled his nose. "They get stuck in my teeth a lot."

"Well, we're lucky to catch it when it just got out from its hibernating season." Esme pointed out. "We have Bella to thank for that."

Though Esme was very sincere and didn't have a hint of teasing in her voice, Bella still blushed in embarrassment.

Now that they were fully satisfied from their meal, the group was making their way to the lake to relax. They treaded slowly and carefully, human-paced, on the steep drop of the ford so that they can watch over the clumsy-footed Bella.
Suddenly there was an eruption of noise and clamor coming from a few yards away.
It was so loud, even Bella could hear it.

"WHOA, LOOK AT THAT GINORMOUS GARTANTUAN BUNNY!" Came the booming exclamation of Emmett.

"CAN'T…RESIST…TEMPTATION…I WANT IT!" Jasper tore after the large white bobbing shape.

"HEY, BUNNY! BE A GOOD BOY AND COME BACK TO JAZZY!"

"OH NO YOU DON'T, JASPER! I'M GETTING IT FIRST!"

"Guys, wait!" Alice ran after the boys, attempting to catch up.

Rosalie followed behind much more slowly, and she rolled her eyes when she saw Jasper and Emmett in mad pursuit of the bounding white rabbit.
For all its bulk, the rabbit was surprisingly quick and agile.

Back at the ford, Carlisle sighed.

"Let's go see what the boys are up to."

The 1st Cullen group caught up with Rosalie and Alice, who were off to the side of the huge meadow where the chaos was happening.

As Emmett and Jasper chased the rabbit doggedly, all the noise that they were making startled a herd of deer nearby. Hearing the insane hollering and tree-crashing, the herd fled in fear.

Emmett hollered so loud that the birds were chased out from their trees.

Esme, Edward and Bella gaped in shock. Carlisle, however, still managed to keep his cool. But he put a hand to his forehead and shook his head.
Then the unexpected happened:

Carlisle, the most levelheaded member of the entire Cullen clan, grew angry.

"BOYS! GET YOUR BIG BUTTS OVER HERE NOW!!"

The girls winced and clapped their hands over their ears. Emmett and Jasper caught the rabbit at the same time, and were in the middle of a tug-of-war. The poor bunny looked like its appendages were going to get ripped out of its sockets.
At Carlisle's uncharacteristic bellow, the boys froze and stared at Carlisle with their jaws dropped open. Immediately they rushed over to be with the other Cullens. But they didn't let go of the rabbit. It hung between Emmett and Jasper like a rotisserie chicken over a fire.

Carlisle's expression was calm again. But his voice came out tight and stern.

"Emmett and Jasper. Do you have any idea what you could have done? With all your ridiculous noise someone most likely could have spotted us! And that's the last thing any of us would want! Now…what is so important about this rabbit?"

"Carlisle, isn't it the fattest, tastiest, mouth-watering bunny you've ever seen?"

Carlisle stared at its plump white-furred body for quite some time.

"Well…yes."

"Yeah, it looks delicious." Edward stared at it hungrily.

"It's so fat it wants to be eaten!" Jasper exclaimed. "Look at its face! The law of the wild (Eat or be Eaten) is crying out to us!"

The bunny looked up with wide, pleading eyes and its bottom lip seemed to stick outward in a pout.

"Yeah, let's kill it! Kill, kill, kill!" cried out Emmett.

"NO!" All the Cullen girls and Bella cried out shrilly.

"Let's keep it!" said Alice.

"Yes, let's!" said Esme. "It could be a family pet!"

"And it's so cute, too. The button nose and big goo-goo eyes are simply irresistible!" said Rosalie.

"No! It must be killed!" The boys yelled.

"Uh-uh! No way in hell!" The girls yelled back.

Soon the Cullens were starting up a fight, and causing a ruckus once more.

"BE QUIET! ALL OF YOU!"

This was the second time Carlisle got angry. The family instantly quieted down and sheepishly avoided making eye contact.

"Let's settle this diplomatically, if this bunny is so important to you. Raise your hand if you want to eat the bunny."

Emmett, Jasper and Edward raised their hands high up.

"Okay, raise your hand if you want to keep the bunny."

Alice, Esme, Rosalie and Bella raised their hands at the second option.

"Bella, you don't count. You're not a vampire."

Bella slightly pouted and put down her hand.

Carlisle sighed. "Okay, since both options received a 3; we'll call it a draw. That is, unless if I break that draw."

The rest of the Cullens waited hopefully as Carlisle paused to make his decision.
He took the rabbit from the boys and held it up to his face thoughtfully. His vote mattered more than any majority.

"I have decided. You will neither eat or keep the bunny."

"WHAT!?" All of the Cullens cry out in disbelief.

"Instead, we're letting go of it."

Carlisle set the rabbit back down on the ground. It fled into the undergrowth without looking back.

"Carlisle!" Edward moaned. "I know you're wise and smart and all…but how could you let go of such an opportunity!?"

The leader of the Cullens turned to his family and shrugged.

"Its pudgy little face was so cute; I couldn't bear to imagine you gulping it down. Of course, even though it's so cute, I don't want to keep it. It might crap all over the house."

Carlisle turned and walked in the direction of their house.

"Come on, it's getting late. Let's go home."

The dismayed family trudged behind him. Maybe opportunity will come knocking again. Maybe not; every adventure the Cullens go through are never the same.

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