It was many hours before they were able to return to Myles' house. Myles himself had to stay the night in palace infirmary. Duke Baird had been forced to spread his Gift among the many wounded and hadn't been able to entirely heal the old knight. By the time Alanna got to see him, most of his magic had been spent. He could do nothing for her hands, whose scars had reopened during the battle with Roger. An assistant wrapped them up in fine gauze and sent her home, allowing her so see a most anxious Myles before her departure in order to assure him of her health.

Now Thayet, Buri, George, Rispah, Eleni, Coram, and Alanna stood in the sitting room of Myles' great house. All but Alanna sunk into the comfortable seats, exhausted from the day's events and sick at heart from the loss of Liam Ironarm and the many others who had perished trying to save Jonathon.

Alanna, however, walked to the window and stared out into nothingness. She couldn't think, couldn't feel. She was numb to the rest of the world. Tears welled in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks when she tried to blink them away. Roger had taken so much from her. It wasn't enough to say that her heart was broken: it was shattered, trampled into shards that felt like they were piercing her lungs with every breath. Everything hurt; every breath took all of the strength she had left. Alanna did not know how she was to survive the night, much less a new morning without Faithful, Thom, and Liam.

She didn't hear Thayet walk up behind her, didn't feel her pull her into a hug.

"Go to bed, Alanna. Tomorrow will be a busy day and you are dead on your feet. You need to sleep. Eleni can mix you something so that you don't have nightmares if that is what is frightening you."

"It isn't tonight that I'm worried about," replied Alanna, barely whispering. "It's tomorrow that will kill me." She lifted her eyes to the stars, staring accusingly at the heavens, "It was supposed to be me. Not Thom. Never Thom. I was the one who wanted to be a knight, who accepted the risks. He wanted to read books and study, not die in battle! Why wasn't it me! " Her shoulders started shaking and sobs built in her chest. Still Thayet held her. "Why wasn't it me!" Sobs racked her small frame and she covered her face with her hands as the tears poured out of her eyes. With her heart breaking for her friend, all Thayet could do was rest her head on Alanna's shoulder and hold her tighter.

Coram, however, was furious. He stood, motioned Thayet to step back, and spun Alanna around by her shoulders, shaking his stunned knight mistress. "I don't want to hear those words out of yer mouth ever again! Do ye hear me! I'm thanking the Gods that ye weren't takin' from me today." He pulled her against his chest and hugged her hard. "Yer going to get through this. Even if you can't remember right now, I know how strong ye are. Don't give up on me now." He felt Alanna nod against his chest and step away. He released her, letting her rub the tears from her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Coram. I think," she sniffed, "I think I just need to get to bed. Goodnight." With that she turned and walked to her room, the eyes of her friends watching her back until she turned a corner.

Alanna woke to the sun streaming into her bedroom. A soft summer breeze was blowing her white curtains into her room. She could hear birds chirping in the distance and the shouts from the market. The world had been awake for hours. Alanna blinked a few times, her eyes were dry from falling asleep crying. She could hear soft breathing behind her and rolled on her side to see a figure sleeping in a chair next to her bed. She squeezed his hand to wake him up. He blinked blearily at her and then tightened his fingers around hers, careful to avoid the bandages.

"I didn't want you to wake up alone," George said softly, leaning forward to brush her hair from her face with his free hand.

"How long have you been there?"

"All night. I was afraid you would have nightmares."

"I saw it. Over and over again." Her eyes stared past him into her memories. "I saw them die. Faithful and Thom and Liam. I think Liam was the worst because I didn't witness it. I kept seeing different scenarios in my head and they just kept getting worse and worse. In the dream, I was there but I could never reach him in time. I couldn't save him. I couldn't save any of them." Her breathing started coming faster and George could tell she was about to break.

"Hush, lass," He ran his fingers through her hair and she squeezed her eyes shut. "You saved so many. And if you had died tryin' to save others," he had to look away and take a deep breath, getting his emotions under control. He turned back to meet her eyes, "well, it would have been unbearable."

"Is there anything in this life but grief?" She asked softly, still looking past him, her amethyst eyes dimmed by her sadness.

George continue to stroke her hair, staring deep into her eyes. After a long moment he said, "There's love. There's hope. That tomorrow will come and it will bring with it new joys and challenges. The sorrow won't last forever. Eventually, the darkness passes. You've got many more tomorrow's ahead of you, lass, and I'm not goin' to let you waste them."

Alanna allowed his words to sink in, turning her head to the window and gazing out across Corus, which was buzzing with life under a clear blue sky. She still clutched George's warm fingers, holding on to her lifeline.

Getting out of bed would be the first step. He would help her do it. She knew the pain wasn't going to go away soon but everything that she was made of forbade her from wasting time in bed when there was so much to do, though that fact had never mattered less than at this moment. But in the back of her mind, she could hear Liam scolding her for not doing her exercises. Thom would have wanted her to go on without him. That was the plan, this was why they switched places: for their dreams to come true. She knew he would be angry with her for giving up. There was no one Thom loved more than his sister. He would want her to keep on living, to take his memory along with her through all her future adventures. And Faithful, well, he would have insulted her until she moved. She couldn't ruin his reputation.

The new day beckoned and with George's fingers entwined with hers and the thought of loving friends just a few doors away helped to hold back the tide of grief that threatened to consume her. She pushed herself into a sitting position and swung her legs over the edge of the bed and hesitated.

"The day doesn't start until my feet touch the floor," she said, "I don't have to face it yet."

"True," George replied, "but then you'd miss breakfast. Come on lass. You can hold on to my hand all day if that's what you need. I'm not leavin' your side."

She looked at him, looked into his eyes for the first time all morning and saw the love shining out. She let it fill her soul, giving her the courage to let her feet hit the wood floor. She took a deep breath and for the first time since it had happened, she noticed that it didn't hurt to breathe.