I Got You Under My Skin

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Klaus just glared coolly at Caroline as she stood opposite, smiling sweetly as she said. "Is that a banana in your pants, or are you just happy to-"

"No. Stop right there. It's not my fault Tylers body is prone to boners." Klaus snapped, folding his arms, hissing out as an afterthought. "Tyler has moobs-!"

"He does not!"

"Yeah. You've felt him up enough times." Klaus scoffed, suddenly smirking as he stepped forwards, waggling his brows. "This means that you know what I look like naked."

Caroline arched a brow, scoffing too as she went. "You say this like I'm supposed to be drooling all over you. Let me remind you- I am eighteen. You are over a thousand. Does the word 'pedo' come into your mind? Urgh, get out my boyfriends body!"

"Oh I want to sweetheart." He said through clenched teeth, shiftily adjusting his feet, making Caroline smirk out. "You look like you're about to pee yourself."

"Why thank you for that observation."

"Go pee."

"No."

"Why?"

"Because, I'd rather Tylers dick didn't touch my hands, thank you."

Caroline let out a snort. "That's Tylers property. You're not allowed to touch it anyway."

A pause, and then Klaus looked down, poking his crotch, making the girl scowl out, slapping his hand away. "Stop poking Tyler!"

"I'll poke whatever I want." He replied matter of factly, poking it harder, smirking as Caroline snapped. "If you break his-!"

"I'd have to yank it off."

"Go and pee you pedo."

"Have you ever tried peeing with an erection?"

"Oh yeah (!) I have a dick hidden under my skirt. My name is really Caroman."

"Well Caroman-"

"Don't you dare."

A pause and another shift later Klaus hissed. "I'm stuck inside a horny fucking teenager who seems to be high on Viagra. Tell me, does he hump you like a dog?"

"No! And even if he did, why the hell would I tell you?" Caroline scowled, folding her arms evermore, narrowing her eyes. "Have you had sex with anyone in that body?"

"Eurgh, think I'm that low love?"

"Yep."

"Dear god no. What if I caught my orgasm face in something reflective and made me go limp in five seconds?"

"Way too much information." Caroline gagged, turning away as he smirked out. "Which body am I sexier in?"

"Neither."

"Ouch. You just insulted your boyfriend."

"Well he's not home at the moment, is he?" Caroline retorted, Klaus shrugging. "Eh." When she looked back, he was gone.

A scowl later, Caroline yelled "Klaus?!" a few minuets later, he appeared and Caroline couldn't help but snigger at the damp front of his jeans, the man narrowing his eyes. "Your mind would automatically go to me being unable to control your dogs bladder."

"Then what is it?"

"I washed my hands!"

"You missed, didn't you?"

"…Yep."

The oneshot parodies... are back xD Tyklaus this time! x