Ringwraith's Diary by Nazgul #4
3018, April 2
Dear Diary,
The Boss has sent us on a mission. It's about time we had one, I was getting pretty bored staying in Mordor. The only thing to do is smite some orcs, but The Boss doesn't like it when I do that. This makes them pretty disrespectful, in fact the other day; the general told me that The Boss's bed sheets make very bad armour. He even attacked me to prove his point! Can you believe it?
The Boss gave us all horsies to ride on. We have to find some guy called Barrins or something like that in this place called The Mire. It's something like that anyways… The boss didn't give us any directions, but WK says that we will manage just fine.
I am very fond of horsies, before The Boss made me his minion I used to ride them a lot. I think I did, my memories before being turned into His Most Evilest Minion Of Evilness are pretty hazy… All our horsies look the same, they're black and they're covered with these weird spiky things. As far as I can tell these spiky things don't do anything but poke me. It's quite painful, especially when my horse gallops. I don't like my horse that much. I have never liked the colour black, but when I asked The Boss for a white horse instead, or maybe an even tempered mare with a nice chestnut colour he glared at me. He doesn't do much but glare nowadays. The other Nazgul's even laughed at me! Can you believe it?
We are going to set out on our journey tomorrow. At least The Boss lets us have enough time to pack our bags, but we don't have many things to bring with us. I mean, we're Nazgul, so we don't need food. There's no point in setting a fire at night because we scare the living shit out of everything (even our horses don't like us! When I first tried to mount mine it tried to kick me through the wall!), and there's no point in looking for maps or anything because there aren't any here. I tried to enter WK's room to ask about maybe getting a new mount for me on the way, but he got all grumpy so I had to leave.
The only things that aren't scared of us are these weird 'fell beasts' that The Boss made, and that probably doesn't count because those things scare the living shit out of me! Have you seen their teeth!
I should get some sleep; after all I have An Epic Quest to go on tomorrow. Wish me luck!