A/N: So I love Scandal and majority of its character. (Jake, Mellie, and Olivia being my absolute favorites while Quinn and Fitz I'm indifferent to. Though they have their moments when I like something they said or did.) I was scared to write for the show because it is well written and my writing is okay, nothing spectacular. (I write for fun.) I ship Jake/Olivia as a BroTP and an OTP. I think they need each other in their lives. Though at the moment I think they need to take a step back from one another, for a little bit at least, until Olivia knows what she wants and Jake can get himself together. So I wrote this kind of one-shot but maybe it'll turn into more. So let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy.
Third Time's a Charm
Jake feels like a fool as he still stands in the shadow of Fitz and his relationship with Olivia. He is tired of trying his best and being compared to everything about Fitzgerald Grant III. He wants to hate him. In fact he does. More of he hates how someone as amazing as Olivia Pope can continue to go back to him, no matter what he does. He knows he is not that much better but it has to be healthier than feeling alone and hurt and sad all the time. He just wants to be there for her to be more than friends with benefits. Because that's what they are, they are not together, except on the occasion where he has to play her beard. He can do all the things Liv should be doing, maybe taking her out for dates and walks down the street. Not secret rendezvous' in hotels and the oval office or stolen looks and touches at events. He wants her completely but she doesn't want him. She wants the pain, and heartbreak and this epic love story she has told herself of Fitz and Olivia. And he is just tired. If Olivia couldn't get rid of her habit, or addiction as Jake liked to think of it, to Fitz. He would do better for himself. He would be happy even if that meant no more of her.
No more late night talks. No more wine and popcorn. No more sassy banter. No more trying to make her smile. No more lunches at Gettysburger. No more Olivia Pope. While it all seemed easier said than done, since the last two times he tried, proved he could never in truth get her out of his life. This time was different he had to do this or he would be the fool following Liv wherever she went, always coming when she called. Just thinking about leaving her made his heart clench.
He hated being in love with someone who didn't give him a second thought, someone else's girl. So as he sits in the car outside her building, he tries to convince his self that this is what's best. He had to think about his heart because he knows she isn't. Grabbing his phone, he dials her number, hearing at least three rings before she answers. "Jake?"
"Hey. What are you doing?" He hears the TV in the back but asks anyway.
"Nothing just watching the news. Nothing important."He knows that isn't the entire truth. Tonight was a special with the President and the First Lady. He knows she's sulking as she finishes yet another bottle of wine.
"Why do you do that?" It comes out harsher than he expects but it's too late to fix.
"What are you talking about?" She's irritated. And he suspects that it's mostly due to her current program on television, though he knows the previous comment could have been kept in his head. However he continues on. "Why do you torture yourself?"
It was silence on the line as he knows she's actually attempting to answer the mystery. She sighs before answering honestly. "I don't know. Is there a reason you called me or was it just to scald me on my life choices?"
It wasn't how he meant it to come out but it was how he felt. Though he understands right now isn't the time because as usual she's hurting. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he parts his lips to speak. "I'm sorry Liv." There was stillness. "I was getting ready to grab something to eat and wanted to know if you would join me. Maybe something besides popcorn and wine would be nice right now. I can practically smell it through the phone."
Thankfully, he could hear the smile in her voice as she replies, "I guess I could go for some food, as long as you don't make fun of my source of nutrition anymore."
"Really that's what you eat to pass the bar on nutrition." Amused at the woman on the other end of the line, he doesn't understand how she can survive off of just those two things.
"It does its job." He could hear shuffling in the background and he figures it must be her going to change. "Besides I eat other things."
"I know but it's like seeing a deer roaming the streets." Ashamed of his own analogy, Olivia carries on.
"That rarely happens."
"I think I just proved my case then." A laugh fills his ears. "I'll be there in a few minutes."
"Okay. Bye Jake." Hanging up the phone, he shakes his head. He knows trying to place his self out of her life would be harder than he thought. Because he knew how much he would miss her. Hell he would miss everything about her, but this is what needed to be done, eventually. After waiting a few minutes, he opens the door of his car and makes his way upstairs.
The apartment is dark except the light coming from the street lamps. Taking note of the previously occupied space, Jake looks for Olivia, but she is nowhere to be seen. He automatically assumes that she has gone back home, like she has done times before. However he sees her blouse draped on the chair and dismisses the notion. The next thought is that she is trying to steal something from him again but he remembers he doesn't work for B6-13 anymore. There are no secrets or codes here for her to find. He hasn't even gone back to work for the Navy yet.
Placing his feet on the cool floor under him, he sees the rest of her things lying around on the floor. His shirt on the other hand is missing. Budging towards the kitchen he stops when he spots the light coming from the open bathroom door. This lets him know where she is and he's getting ready to go back to bed when he hears her voice. Moving as close as he can to the door without making a sound or being noticed he can hear half of a conversation.
"What was it like going to meet the Queen of England?" He already knows who's on the phone, who else could it be at 3 in the morning. Tilting his head so he can peer into the bathroom, he sees that smile on her face. A smile that says she is satisfied with the time she gets with him. That she would wait days for the ten minutes she gets. "I miss you too."
He realizes this is the nudge that he needs to actually end things. This is it. His heart couldn't keep taking the false joy she provides. Assuming that the conversation would soon be over, he moves back to the bed closing his eyes. He could sense her moving through the room trying not to wake him. Too late, he thinks. Liv lies in bed, placing her head back on his chest and his arms around her once more. He opens his eyes to see her back in the same position they've always slept in. And he takes it all in, feeling a bit bad for her because he knows what she doesn't. This would be the last.
Knocking lightly, he waits for her to check the peephole before opening the door. "Jake. I was just about to come to see you with Gettysburger." She moves to kiss him on the cheek but he doesn't reciprocate the gesture. Which causes Liv to get suspicious but she lets it pass. "I guess we can do that now."
"Actually I came here to talk to you?" He is still standing in the door, waiting for her to invite him in.
She motions her hands for him to enter, "Is everything okay? Are you in trouble?"
"No. No. I'm fine." He doesn't take his jacket off as he puts his hands in his pocket. This only leads Liv to worry even more.
"What's going on Jake? And I know it's something."
"Can we sit?" He knows sitting won't do anything but he thinks it'll help with the quivering that he's doing. Liv nods and she follows him as they take a seat on the beige couch.
"You know when I first met you in the coffee house I was kind of nervous. I mean sure I'd been watching you for some time already but to actually meet you in person was working on my nerves."
"But you were charismatic and kind." She looks perplexed not understanding what's going on.
"Maybe from your view but from my point I was a wreck."
Finally ready for him to say what he needed to say she moves the talk along, "What are you getting at Jake?" He moans not wanting to do what comes next but knowing he has to. Rubbing his hands together they feel sweaty and he doesn't know why. Just simply say what you need to say and go. It's that easy. He says to his self. Liv picking up on his uneasiness grabs his hands in hers. "Whatever it is, you can say it?"
"I love you Liv. I do but I can't do this anymore." He can see she's not that surprised by his statement but goes on. "I don't think whatever we have going on will work."
"Is it something I did?" He is glad she asked because it shows she does at least care a little.
"It just not working, I can't…" If he was really saying goodbye he might as well get it all off his chest. "I feel like I am always competing for you against him. You said it the day I first kissed you. He's always in your head. I was hoping maybe your feelings could change. That you could grow to love me the same way I love you. But you just can't seem to get over him. Honestly I think I've known all along."
She has moved her hands from his and crossed them over her chest. "Why now?"
"I heard you a few nights ago when you spent the night over my house, when you were in the bathroom." She breaks eye contact and moves off the couch, standing in front of the coffee table now.
"You were eavesdropping on my conversation." Furious at the man before her she tries to keep her voice steady.
"No. I just heard the last part and went back to sleep."
"I can't believe this." Pacing in front of him she can hardly keep eye contact with him. He knows if he doesn't get it all out now he never will.
"You can't believe that I'm actually doing this or that I'm right about him?" His voice stays calm when he asks. He knows there is no other logical reason for her to be upset with him.
"I don't know why you are doing this Jake. I'm in this with you." Sitting in front of him her brown orbs stay focused on his green ones. He can see she is hurting and he honestly doesn't know if it's because of him. "Do you not want me to talk to him? Would you prefer I kick him completely out of my life? What do you want me to do?"
"Liv don't do this. I'm just saying how I feel." She was just getting angrier at him and he didn't want to make her that way.
"I can do the same. You can't do this. This is basically given me an ultimatum. I love him. You know that. I can't change that no matter what I try to do. And I try. But I want you to be in my life. You have become important to me Jake."
"Then tell me this, what exactly am I to you Liv? Huh? Am I your boyfriend, am I a booty call, am I your confidant? Am I here to make you feel safe? What am I?" The questions come rambling out and now a simple goodbye is turning into something that's been simmering under the surface for a while.
"Why are you doing this? Everything was fine how it was." His laugh is full of disbelief as he gets up to walk away. He stops halfway placing one hand on his hip.
"You call this between us fine." Pointing to the two of them he continues, "You use me constantly as something to show off whenever he throws an event. Whenever he hurts you, you call me. When you feel lonely you offer to have sex with me. I don't understand how you can't see it."
"If you didn't want me bothering you, all you had to do was say so." She has calmed down but Jake can still see the turmoil in her eyes.
"That's not the problem here." It's becoming harder to get his point across to her.
"Then what is it. What do I need to see?" Baffled Jake tries to see how she can be this naïve about their situation. He doesn't believe she is and it makes him frustrated, which causes him to continue to speak whatever comes to mind.
"You know how I feel about you yet you just use me for whatever you need and just throw me away until the next time." Her mouth forms a small O, having a hard time with this argument.
"Jake. Don't." She is shocked he feels this way.
"That's how it is Liv. You can't see it's wrong because that's how he treats you, as if I'm not a factor in your everyday life."
"How dare you say that? I got you out of the hole right? Because you're important to me and you matter to me."
"Don't act like it wasn't because I saved your life. That's the only reason and that's fine, but don't make it into something it's not." Jake notices the distance between them, as Olivia paces on the other side of the room. He stands in the doorway leaning against the wall.
"Are you serious right now?" Olivia glares at the man, who is getting everything out in the open.
"I don't want to argue." He means it and he tries to appear composed to help the situation. It does help as Liv takes a seat back on the couch. The two remain sullen as the conversation carries on.
"I don't want to either."
"I can't remain in any relationship with you Liv. Not even a friend. Not right now at least." Pausing again, to gather himself his words spill out. "You know why you can't put a name on what I am to you? Because you know and you don't like it?"
"That's not fair Jake."
"You want me to say it. In your mind I'm just someone to pass the time until you and Fitz get your happily ever after."
"That's not true. I care about you." He knows she cares but he assumes it's the same way one would care about their grade in high school. They're important right now but they won't be later.
"I'm not saying you don't care about me Liv but if Fitz came here right now and gave it all away, the white house, his wife, and everything else. Are you telling me you wouldn't leave with him and not give me a second thought?" The silence gives him his answer. "That's all I needed to know."
Olivia is quiet as she stares at her fingers. "I should've known that this was doomed from the start. But I guess you had to want it for it to really happen."
"Jake I don't want you to go." He believes her but if he stays they will fall into the same pattern again and he can't do that. Not after finally saying what he has needed to say for a while now. Taking a seat in front of her Jake starts to say his last goodbyes. "I honestly hope you get everything you want from him Liv. I do. The happiness, kids, a house in Vermont; all of it because you deserve it for everything you've been through."
"Jake you can't say goodbye." He could see the doleful look in her eyes and if he was being honest it wasn't helping him.
"I have to do what's best for me Liv. Just like you should do what's best for you." Turning to her he places a kiss on her forehead, before heading to the door. Giving her one last glance, he could see her eyes water but he knows her. No tear is going to drop from her eyes in front of him, even if she wanted it to because at the end of the day Olivia Pope was a gladiator. And gladiators didn't cry, but as he left it cascaded down her face.
Closing the door behind him he has a sigh of relief, feeling that this good bye is different. It's actually final. Third time's a charm, he thinks as the elevator doors close in front of him and he leaves a piece of his heart with her.