Quiet long and very depressing. Sorry. It is also quite sweet in places. I am sorry though. I had a dream about it.
A Bouquet of Roses
They were all sat in Tempe's office: Angela, Jack, Lance, Cam, Tempe, even Caroline was there. Except, it was not all of them and it never would be again. There were no witty jokes, no clever wisecracks. The only sound that could be heard was the painful, heart-wrenching crying. The only one who knew the real reason why it was so bad for her was Angela. Everyone else knew what they had always known, they were partners, the closest of friends, she had always had feelings for him. Angela knew why she was torturing herself for it, she had been the first to know about Booth and Brennan's tumble after Vincent died. But still a week later, after the funeral, she still had not told anyone.
There was no singular, conscious decision to go back to Tempe's office after the funeral, after Zack had been carted back off to the looney bin. It just felt right. It was not like last time, when the FBI faked Booth's death. This time, Booth never came to his funeral. Never had a fist fight with Jacob Broadsky over his empty coffin.
Jacob was dead.
Booth was dead.
Tempe had slept for a while, her head rested on Angela's lap, after she had exhausted herself crying. But then she had woken up screaming and Angela had to calm her down again as far as possible. Sweets had tried talking to her but to no avail, she was not going to give up the feeling that she felt for anyone. The pain she felt was allowing her to think clearly and when the pain left it would make everything numb. She would forget his voice and the way his hands felt against her skin and the way his laugh used to sound when he was trying to find the funny side of one of her jokes. Everybody had been in silence, her crying had grown harder when anyone had started talking. She had not meant to, she just wanted to stop everyone from clouding her memory of Booth. She sat like that for an unquantifiable time, after which Hodgins had scooped her up and carried her to their car. Angela had sat in the back with her until they drove to their house when Hodgins had picked her up and carried her into their spare room, where Angela tucked her in like a child and kissed the top of her head. "Sleep well, Sweetie." She had whispered as she pulled the curtains together and flicked the light switch off, knowing that she would not. It had not taken long for the nightmares to kick in. Every couple of hours they would be awoken by their friend's screams of agony. Each time they would take turns to get up and check on Tempe, find her sobbing into her hands. It hurt Angela to see her best friend so distraught but she knew that it was justifiable. If it was Hodgins that had been killed, she would have destroyed the Earth, though that may have just been her pregnancy hormones. Nobody deserved this. Not Tempe, she had been through enough. Why could the world not see that? She had ranted to her husband quietly about how unfair it was as they waited for the inevitable screaming.
"Sweetie." Angela smiled as Tempe entered the small hospital room, ensuring that everyone else was fascinated by Michael-Vincent. "Are you ok?"
"Yes." Tempe breathed, her face the same neutral mask it had been since the day after the funeral. Angela had seen her going through the motions of life but knew that there was no life truly there. "I need to talk to you."
"Yeah? What about?" She smiled, trying to put on a happy face as she said it, trying to put her friend at ease. Tempe had been staying with them since the funeral and Angela had not seen her talk about anything personal in that time.
"I...I have a favour to ask of you." She said, struggling for the words as the tears started streaming down her face.
"Anything." Angela said, meaning it.
"I...I'm pregnant, Angela." She whispered, as if it were a secret.
"Booth's?" Angela asked, but the look on Tempe's face told her everything. "What do you need?"
"Would...When the baby is born, can you look after it?" She asked, doubt clear on her face.
"Why, Sweetie? What are you thinking?" It was a gentle question.
"I need to get away from everything, do what I always do. But I don't want him to feel alone, I want him to be safe." She broke, crumpling into the chair next to the bed.
"How long for?" Angela said, keeping her promise.
"I really don't know, Ange. As long as it takes. Promise me he'll never be alone."
"She's beautiful, Sweetie." Angela smiled at the baby in her arms.
"Do you remember what you said?" Tempe asked, tears in her eyes.
"Not now. Don't leave now." She said, holding Christine to her chest. "Just hold your daughter, just one more time before you leave."
"Keep her safe." Tempe smiled, kissing her daughter on the forehead and hugging Angela. Everyone stood, looking on from the kitchen as if watching a film. They had no way of stopping her now, they had known for months that this was going to happen, each doing their turn to persuade her otherwise. They watched as she climbed into her car and drove off, all wanting her to see sense and turn back. But she did not. She kept driving to the cemetery. She climbed out and placed the bouquet of roses on his grave. Red. He had said that when he married someone, there would be red roses. "They're the most romantic." He had said to her before.
"She's beautiful, Booth. She really is. Angela will take good care of her. I've arranged with Rebecca to let Parker meet her, I've arranged to make sure they know each other Booth. Angela promises that she'll teach her about you. You were a good father to Parker, Booth. I love you, forever." She sat crying in the sunset like that until it began to chill and she got up and walked to the car, driving off to the airport to god knows where.
"Christine's been asking about her again." Angela said, wiping away the tears that tumbled down her face as she chopped the vegetables.
"It's been four years, Angie." Jack said, pulling her close to him. "She knows who her father is and he is dead but she doesn't even know who her mother is."
"There were roses at the grave again when I took her and Parker to the grave this morning." Angela wept, slamming the knife in her hand down onto the counter. "Why can't she just come back?"
"Has Brennan ever been that simple?" Hodgins asked, smiling slightly.
"She puts roses on the grave every occasion. His and Vincent's death, Michael's birthday, Christine's birthday, Parker's birthday, His birthday." She stood silently in thought for a moment and then pulled out a small card, much like a business card.
"Where did you get that?" He said, reading the loopy writing.
"Parker found it by the grave this morning. He knows it's her now." Angela cried into his shoulder, tracing the loopy writing with her finger. "Have you heard from Max at all?"
"He said that he thought he was getting somewhere and then he lost her again." Hodgins smiled sadly. "She'll come back when she's ready."
"Auntie Bones!" Parker grinned as he opened the front door. "Mum, Bones is here!" The little boy, who Tempe realised was not so little anymore, called, opening the door wider and stepping aside and ushering her in.
"Parker, what are you...Temperance!" Rebecca looked at her. "You better come in." She smiled softly, nodding to follow. Parker looked up at Bones, slipping his hand into hers. "Have you been to see Angela and Jack yet?" Tempe looked at the blonde woman. When she had left she hardly thought Rebecca knew who Hodgins and Angela were.
"No." Tempe said as she slipped into a chair around the dinning table.
"Your daughter has been asking about you." Rebecca said softly, looking at Tempe in the eye and seeing the raw pain that was still evident. "Four years. It's a long time to feel like an orphan, especially when you're not one, especially when you aren't old enough to understand. You know what it feels like to be alone."
"She has Angela, and Jack, and everyone at the lab said that they would help look after her."
"I don't think that is what mum means by being alone, Bones." Parker said, his eyes sombre as they looking into hers. "You really would have married him?" He asked, capturing her gaze in his and almost daring her to answer.
"Yes." She said simply. "You found the note?" She watched as he nodded.
"Dad loved you, Bones." He said, in his big brave voice, not allowing it to waver once. "He would have asked you to marry him."
"I know." She whispered. "I need to see her."
"Are you ready for bed Christine?" Angela asked as she walked into the little girls pink and purple bedroom, grinning when the four year old stood at the end of her bed, laughing as she saluted like a soldier. "Oh, sweetie, what are you doing?"
"Parker said that Daddy was a shoulder before he met mummy." Christine said. "He said this is what they had to do."
"Soldier, darling, not shoulder." Angela laughed, crouching down in front of the little girl. They suddenly both grew serious. "When did you grow up so much?" Angela said, trying to bite back tears.
"Today, Auntie Angela, it's my birthday. Don't you remember, you and uncle Hodgins got me a bike." The little girl frowned as Angela picked her up and laid her down in bed. "Auntie Angela? Why doesn't my mummy love me like you love Michael and Parker's mummy loves him?"
"What made you think that?" Angela said, swearing that her heart had just shattered at the sober way the little girl had asked it.
"I've never met my mummy." Christine stated, tears in her eyes. Angela smiled sadly at the way the little girl spoke, everything precise and accurate, a trait from her mother, no doubt.
"Your mummy loves you more than anything in this world." Angela said, not really sure if she believed it after all these years.
"Why don't we ever talk about her? We always talk about daddy, but never mummy." The girl said. She did not whine it, she did not scream it or shout it. She just said it, tilting her head to the side in the same way that Tempe would when she was confused.
"We don't talk about it because it upsets me and uncle Hodgins and auntie Cam and uncle Sweets and everyone else." She smiled at the way that the little girl used everyone's names in the same way her mother had. Not uncle Jack, Uncle Hodgins. Not uncle Lance, Uncle Sweets. Not auntie Saroyan, auntie Cam.
"Why?" The little girl frowned, playing with a strand of Angela's hair.
"Because we miss her." Angela sighed, getting up. "I'll be back in a moment, Sweetie." She said, walking out of the bedroom and into the next room along, seeing Hodgins putting Michael-Vincent to bed. "Hodgins, Michael, could you go into Christine's room please." She nodded to Hodgins, smiling sadly.
"Why, mummy?" The little boy asked, grinning as he looked up at her from in bed, looking forward to staying up later.
"Because I'm going to tell a bedtime story and we're all going to listen to it." She said, taking a photo frame out of the drawer at her bedside and walking back through to the little pink room. She smiled as she saw Michael and Christine curled up in the bed together, Hodgins sat on the floor next to them, leaving the rocking chair free for herself.
"What story is it?" Michael asked.
"Is it 'the Ugly Duckling'?" Christine asked, rather confused by the change in context.
"No, its not a story that you have heard before." Angela said, smiling slightly. "Now, will you be quiet so I can tell the story?" Both children and Hodgins nodded, almost as if they were in a trance. "Once upon a time, not so long ago, there lived a very, very handsome young man, and he was a king. He ruled a lot of people, but none of them hated him, they all loved their king because he was the best king they had ever had. This king, he saved a lot of people, all with the help of his special fairies and elves. These fairies and elves helped the king because when ever he knew that someone needed saving they would draw pictures and use their magic to find out where the person who needed saving was. The king called his fairies and elves 'the squints' because they were so tiny that you had to squint to see them. One day, one of the fairies, a very magic fairy, got trapped and she herself was in danger. But one of the squints, he went to the king and they saved her, which made the fairy very happy, and although she had worked closely with the king, she promised that she would always be there for him and that she would always love him. But the king couldn't love the fairy in the way they both wanted to be able to so for many, many years they carried on as they did, the fairy being the king's personal fairy. One time though, one of the king's friends said that he could make the fairy into a human so the king could fall in love with her properly and the king and the fairy, although wary at first, decided that they wanted that. So the king's friend spent days and nights working on it and it took him a very long time. However, just before he had finished, the king had to go away for a year and so did the fairy, and so they were at opposite ends of the world. After a little time, the king fell in love again, but with a human this time, and almost forgot about the fairy but then they were summoned back to the king's castle because a little boy was in trouble and only they could save him. The fairy could see that the king didn't love her anymore and that she was to late, but the king's friend kept working on making her human. After a while, the king and the woman he had fallen in love with had an argument, and it turned out that she was only using him and she didn't really love him."
"Did the king and the fairy fall in love again?" Christine asked, thoroughly enjoying the story.
"No, not at first." Angela sighed sadly. "But after a while, they did start to fall in love again and it was beautiful. All of a sudden the king's friend cam to them and said he knew how to turn the fairy into a human and he did, but whilst he did that, a very bad man came." The two children let out little gasps and Angela swallowed, finding the words to continue. "The very bad man came, and he killed one of the king and the fairy's very close friends, who was one of the squints. The fairy was all at once turned into a beautiful human because the pain of losing her friend was so much and it broke the spell that was keeping her as a fairy. The King saw the beautiful woman and he loved her. He kissed her and he asked her to be his queen and rule his country with him and she agreed. The king gave the princess a gift, and he said if he should ever be killed whilst saving someone, she should plant the seed that he gave her and it would make her feel better. Sadly, that very same day, the bad man that had killed their friend came and he killed the king too. The princess was so upset and she went back to her squint friends but they couldn't turn her back into a fairy, even though they were the most clever people in the world. So she planted the seed and waited but when it flowered there was a beautiful little baby inside, and the princess loved it so much, but she felt that she couldn't look after the baby because it made her sad to think about the king and so she gave it to the squints to look after, because she knew that they would love her. She didn't think that she would be a good mother because everyone she thought that everyone she loved had died, and she thought that if she was around the baby then the baby would die, so she ran away." Angela said, not knowing what else to say.
"What happened next mummy?" Michael asked.
"I don't know, sweetheart. I really don't know." She said, closing her eyes against her tears. The next thing she knew was Christine climbing onto her lap and wiping away the tears that slipped out.
"It's okay to cry, auntie Angela." She whispered as she hugged the woman tightly. "Was the princess in the story my mummy?" She whispered quietly into Angela's ear and then leaned back to look at her face. "I'm sorry I asked you about her. I didn't mean to make you cry."
"One thing that happened after the story ended was that the beautiful baby grew into an amazing little girl." Hodgins said from the floor where he stroked Michael-Vincent's hair after the little boy had crawled onto his lap.
"Would you like to see a picture of all the characters in the story?" Angela asked the two children and they both nodded, climbing up onto her lap as she picked the photo frame up.
"That's daddy." Christine said, pointing to the face that she recognised from all the photos of him that she had been shown. In fact she recognised all the faces in the photograph apart from two. "Who are they?" She looked up at Angela, suddenly very scared.
"That," Angela pointed to her best friend. "Is your mummy. And that," She pointed to the woman standing next to her, "Is your mummy's cousin."
"Why is uncle Sweets and auntie Daisy wearing funny hats?" Michael said, pointing at the couple in he back.
"Because it was Christmas and Uncle Sweets and auntie Daisy like funny Christmas hats." Hodgins laughed from where he was standing behind them, looking at the photo taken the Christmas before everyone left. There came a knock at the door. "Who's that? Nobody said that they would be coming around, did they?"
"No, I don't think so." Angela said, looking puzzled. "Sweets has a tendency to come over unannounced, or maybe Cam had to drop something off, do you want to go check whilst I settle these two down." The two that she was referring to had gone insane at the mere mention of Sweets, bouncing around, calling his name and laughing. Angela sighed. She really did chose the worst of the two tasks. "Christine, Michael, can you get in to bed please?" She groaned again.
"If it is uncle Sweets can we stay up?" They pleaded together. She sighed.
"Only if it is uncle Sweets and only to say hello, then you have to go to sleep." She warned and the pair of them giggled.
"Tempe?" Hodgins said as he stood with the door open, staring. "Dr Brennan?"
"Hodgins, hi." She said, swallowing slightly and looking absolutely petrified.
"We've just been talking about you. Come in." He said, moving out of the way. "You look good." He smiled sincerely. She did, although she looked tired. She looked like she used to, before she had even met Booth, except older.
"Thank you. Why were you talking about me?" She asked in the direct way that only Dr Brennan could.
"Christine wanted to know about you, we've never told her about you before and, well she got quite upset about it. I know you had to leave, but I really wish, for her sake, that you hadn't." He said, looking at her before he pulled her in for a hug. "We've all missed you so, so much."
"Honey, is it Sweets?" Angela said as she carried Christine downstairs and held Michael-Vincent's hand whilst he walked down slightly behind her. As soon as she saw who it was she placed Christine down on the stairs and ran over to her, hugging her best friend. "Sweetie!" She cried, looking her friend up and down. "Where have you been?" She had not notice Hodgins move to the stairs and sit with the children, one arm around each of them as the all peeked around the banister to watch.
"I have been helping to coordinate low profile digs in places that would never be put in the news. I always made sure I was back for the special dates though. I would always put roses on his grave and I would always talk to him. I always found it ridiculous before, to talk to dead people." She sniffed. "Is she ok?"
"She is more than ok. She is one of the best little girls I have met before. She looks very much like you." Angela smiled. "You know the date, right?"
"Yes, Angela. I know the date." She said softly. "I didn't know what to get her though, so I have old photos of us all. Will that be alright?"
"Sweetie, I think that will be perfect." Angela smiled. "Do you want to meet her?"
"Only if it's ok with you. I don't want to disturb your routine at all."
"I think you've already done that tonight so I shouldn't think it will be a problem. Christine, will you come to me please?" Angela crouched down and looked around the corner to see the little girl who was chewing on the ear of her toy rabbit. The little girl toddled over, yawning as she stuck close to the walls, trying not to be seen. "Do you remember the princess in the story, Christine?" Angela smiled, looking up at Tempe from where she crouched down, who was stood awkwardly in the middle of the hall.
"The princess was my mummy and she loved me so much that she had to leave." Christine said, snuggling into Angela's side.
"Do you want to say hello?" The little girl nodded and Angela picked her up so she was face to face with Temperance.
"Hello, Christine. I'm sorry I left you." She said, allowing herself to cry.
"You don't have to cry." The girl said. "I should be crying because you left me." She said simply, not realising the effect this had on her mother.
"I'm so, so sorry, baby." She said, stroking the little girls golden hair.
"Auntie Angela told me why. I understand. You don't have to cry now." Christine said, reaching out for her mother to take her. Tempe looked at her daughter and realised that she had missed her daughter's infancy. It was her daughter telling her that it was ok that she ran away and that she didn't have to cry anymore. It should be her telling her daughter that.
"You are a very grown up girl aren't you." Tempe smiled at her daughter, seeing her own eyes mirrored back.
"Mummy?" Christine said quietly as Tempe tucked her into bed.
"Yes, beautiful?" She asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to her.
"Are you going to leave me again?" Tempe shook her head and looked at her daughter.
"Never. I will always, metaphorically, be right by you side. Is that ok?" She asked, expecting a big, philosophical answer or to be told about something else that you would not normally here from a four year old.
"Mmhm. Mummy?"
"Yes, Christine?"
"What does Metsofolical mean?"