Between Floors3

20o7

Well, when you're as strikingly good looking as I am, well, people expect you to maintain those good looks carefully! I wouldn't want to disappoint any of the ladies!

My life is so packed with demands that it is difficult to fit everything into a day. That's why I was running late that day, literally running for the elevator after sealing a deal on a really good 1968 Camaro. This one even had an engine that ran!

I had to get to the hairstylist that day, I just had to. Adam had promised to take us all to one of our favorite dark, loud clubs and spend an evening there. He says we get cranky when we aren't aired out regularly. Living in a hole in the ground can be so…limited, you know?

I just made it into the elevator. It's a good thing I keep in shape, isn't it? Out of the corner of my eye, I could see another guy standing there, but I didn't recognize him until I turned and saw him glaring at me.

What is with Eckhart, anyway? Didn't his mommy tell him to be nice to people? Eckhart having a mom…I never thought of that before.

"Uh, hi, Eckhart."

"You delayed the departure of the elevator. Sharing the elevator car with anyone is bad enough, but my time is precious."

I smiled. Most people melt away into blissful adoration of me when I smile. I'm so glad I'm really good looking.

But not this guy, no, he just kept looking at me like I had brought on the end of the world as we know it.

"It's just a few seconds. I'm here to go to the hair stylist. Hey, maybe you could get that…do…of yours updated a few decades."

"I have what I want."

Okay, so he was determined to be unfriendly. I gave up trying to be nice.

The elevator car jolted to a complete stop, and the lights went out. I was really upset. I had to get my hair perfect, and then get across town to talk to a guy about towing the Camaro of my dreams back to Sanctuary where it could join the other prize Camaros of the past.

"O Dear God."

Adam says being prepared for the unexpected opportunity is a good thing. Well, Eckhart may not have been the most up-to-date dresser, but he never looked run down or shabby, so I decided this might be a fine chance to lighten his burden. I mean, the guy lived at Genomex, always wore the same clothes, always had some GSA goon driving him around in one of those boring black GSA SUV's, so I knew Eckhart wasn't burning cash on clothes or cars, so he ought to have a lot of cash or credit cards or both, right?

I'm pretty good at the wallet-lifting thing. And I've kept in practice. But Eckhart, he noticed me.

"Mr Mulwray, get your hands off of me!"

I jumped back to the other side of the elevator car, which set it swaying slightly.

"Okay."

Sensitive guy. I wouldn't have thought it underneath that plastic he always wears.

Well, what followed was a kind of awkward silence, but I didn't like that, and the elevator didn't seem like it was going anywhere anytime soon. I decided to make a great sacrifice for the sake of pleasantness.

"Do you like Little Debbie Nutty Bars? I've got some in my pockets. I'll share."

"Thank you, but no thanks. My gut flora would be outraged."

Gut flora? What was he talking about? I'd have to ask Adam when I got back to the Zen hole in the ground.

"I'm here for the hair stylist. Got to look bee-yoo-tee-ful for the ladies. What brings you here?"

"To speak with my attorneys."

I'll bet they like talking to you.

"Are you making out a will? Who would you leave your money to? Your tailor?"

"How rude. I'm updating an existing will, the contents of which are my personal business."

Friendly guy.

"You know, I could zorch you right here and reduce you to a shaking pile of protoplasm."

Adam used the word 'protoplasm' a lot. I liked the sound of it. I think Jesse might know what it means.

"Do that, and you haven't a prayer of getting out of this building. Do you think I came here by myself?"

"No, I guess not."

"You guess correctly."

The elevator shuddered back to life, lights and motion returning.

"Well, it looks like I won't have to disappoint the ladies after all."

"How nice for you."

"Yeah."

For a few moments I sweated the possibility that Eckhart might reach his floor before mine. There might be GSA waiting, which could be a problem. Happily, I reached the stylist's floor first.

"Well, goodbye."

"Mr Mulwray, do the world a favor and dispense with that ghastly aftershave you're wearing. You nearly asphyxiated me in there."

"Uh, okay."

And that's how I was stuck in an elevator with Mason Eckhart. Adam says I made the story up, but it's true, I swear it.