The first time he saw him was when they were about twelve year old. He was only passing by, brown locks falling over his eyes, when he spotted it. There was a boy around his age there. He had raven hair, a shade dark, unusual and incredible. But what drew more attention was his eyes. Blood red. Shizuo had halted, while staring to this boy and he slightly wondered who those girls with him were. Oh… The same shade of hair, probably his little sisters. They were walking and laughing, hand in hand. Something deep in the brown haired boy blossomed. He could have stayed all day watching the boy playing with his sisters, until his own brother called his attention.
"Nii-sama, what are you waiting for? Let's go home." Shizuo nodded, trotting to get to his brother. But he couldn't stop thinking about that boy.
The second time they met, he saw the raven haired boy walking out of a convenience store. It had passed a few months after their first encounter. When Shizuo recognized him, he froze, staring at the boy, who noticed him.
"What are you looking at?"
Shizuo caught his breath, holding it. His heartbeat was frantic and he couldn't put a finger on the motive for that. His voice was just as amazing as the rest of it. He felt his cheeks burning and quickly said.
"N-nothing." And got away from him, as quickly as he could. That night, Shizuo was up all night, looking at the stars. He remembered the nice lady from the bakery. He remembered how he promised to never fall in love again. Ever. He looked down to his hands; such small hands could to such a gigantic damage. He didn't want to hurt anyone anymore. Tears streamed down on his cheeks and he let them. Because after that night, he decided to bury all those stupid feelings deep down. He promised he would never cry for love anymore.
He saw the other boy a third time. But used all his will to turn around and avoid him at any cost. After that, he didn't see him again for some years. He figured the raven haired boy had moved to another place.
Then he entered on Raijin Academy. His hair was already blonde by now. Everything felt right on his life. His parents were finally proud of him. His brother too. But he sensed something wrong the moment he stepped at his new school. Looking up, he saw a figure standing behind an enormous glass wall. Something inside of him bubbled and he straightened his eyes. He didn't like this. At all. He thought about the similarities, but he never believed that him was the same boy he'd met a few years ago.
Well, he was still confident that he was finally on the right path on his life. He started to study and to live a normal life. But one day, his ex-colleague Shinra called him, claiming someone wanted to meet him.
And there he was. The raven hair, the red eyes… His voice was now stronger, deeper… And so much more amazing. Shizuo growled at himself. He had to keep his promise to himself. So he lied. He had to keep that boy away from him.
"… This is Orihara Izaya." Izaya. It suited… No, no! I can't let myself…
"I don't like you." Shizuo clenched his fists as soon as he said it. Better lie to others than to himself.
"Oh? Really? I thought we could get along… Shizu-chan." Shizu-chan? What the hell..? Whatever. He would just have to scare him off with his strength. It didn't work. At all. The next time he noticed, he was being attacked by gangs. Izaya was always behind the attacks. His stress levels were going off the roof. He would pace around his room for hours, trying to figure out a way to get Izaya AWAY from him.
Murphy's law wasn't helping, though. On the second year of highschool, Izaya changed to his class.
"Shizu-chan. Now I can sit right behind you. How about that?" He smirked, and Shizuo's eyes darkened.
"Shut up, Flea. I want to pay attention to this class."
It actually worked for a few minutes. Until Izaya got bored and started tracing his fingertips on Shizuo's nape, making him shiver through all his body. This ended with Shizuo holding his desk over his head, trying to get Izaya away from him.
Oh, of course, Shizuo never meant to hit Izaya. Never. The first time it happened, it was on the middle of the street. Izaya passed out the same second the lamppost hit him. Shizuo ran towards him, kneeling and checking for injuries, but he seemed okay. The blond carried him back to school, on his back, leaving him on the infirmary. The nurse promised him she wouldn't tell Izaya who had carried him there and Shizuo thanked her. But before leaving, when the nurse was on the other room, the blond could only remember how silky Izaya's skin felt against his, his light breathing on his neck, his warm body against his… This was so unfair.
So fucking unfair, Izaya.
Shizuo leaned his head in. I deserve this. For carrying him. For always holding back. I deserve this… His lips were almost touching Izaya's, the raven haired body unconscious. Then he froze, remembering the promise he made to himself so many years ago.
He got up and left.
Time went on. Shizuo was finally at ease with himself. Izaya was a bit less irritating these days. Provoking less. Shizuo had no idea why.
One day, Izaya got to school on a big black car. Shizuo wasn't stupid. He noticed this car. Izaya would hop on it sometimes soon after class. Everybody was staring. Izaya was wearing his usual uniform, but with a scarf this time. In class, Shinra was the first one to question it.
"Izaya. It's not cold enough to wear a scarf."
"Oh, I know. But I got a cold and I think it's stylish."
They all bought this story. Shizuo included. Later the same day, while chasing Izaya all around Ikebukuro, he managed to take the scarf off. It was an accident. It really was. The red and purplish marks were everywhere on Izaya's neck. On Izaya's delicate and pale skin.
Shizuo felt a pang on his chest, finally understanding it all. Izaya had some kind of older and cooler boyfriend. This would explain the expensive car. While Shizuo was trying to think, Izaya used this opportunity to run.
That day, Shizuo leaned against the closest wall there was and crumbled to the ground. Fuck.
Who was he kidding? He loved Izaya. Always did. Always would. He got home hours later, ignoring all his family and going straight to the porch. He sat down and looked up at the stars. Then, he looked down to his hands. And for that night only, he let his feelings pour out.
He knew he couldn't let himself love anymore. But he did. Now he was so hurt he couldn't even think. Why did he raise his hopes? Why? Izaya would never feel something for him. Who would fall for a monster? Nobody. He never thought… Seeing those marks all over Izaya's neck would hurt him so much.
That night, he asked himself why he kept making the same mistakes.
That night, he promised he would never love again.
That night, he buried his feeling in a much deeper place.
That night, he decided to forget Izaya.