Willow: Princess of Twilight
A BTVS Spinoff "Teaser Roll" By Doc Stewart
Synopsis: A teaser roll for a Willow-centric spin-off. Think of it as your typical "girl goes to hell dimension, girl conquers hell dimension" story.
Copyright: All characters copyright of Mutant Enemy; I'm just borrowing them under the good graces of ME and Fox. Original story copyright 2003.
Distribution: Please ask first (dr_stewart@hotmail.com), but I will generally grant permission to redistribute this story, with proper credits.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Through S7, currently at episode 18 as I write this; I've also read spoilers through episode 21, and will try to remain consistent with said spoilers. I've even read the episode 22 spoilers, although I place no faith in them, given the amount of unscripted shooting supposedly going on. Rest assured that readers will not have had to read future episode spoilers to appreciate (ahem) this great work, nor will you be spoiled for future episodes by reading this.
Author's Most Humble Introduction:
Dearest fans (all fifteen of you, based on my review counts), by now you are aware that all is not well in Sunnydale. BTVS is fast coming to an end, Angel's return is questionable, and Mutant Enemy have to date been unable to come up with a spin off to Buffy. The initial plan supposedly was to have the follow-up be "Faith the Vampire Slayer," but that ran into trouble when the lead actress decided to star in the Fox pilot "Heroine" instead. Reasons for Elisha Dushku's decision are unknown, but it has been speculated that she did not want to start in an "X the Vampire Slayer" carbon copy of BTVS, even if the copy would be "darker", "richer", "featuring a motorcycle", filmed in "gritty" cities around the country, etc.
There apparently was an earlier movement afoot to have the spin-off be "Dawn the Vampire Slayer," but that also met little enthusiasm as it would be yet another variant of "X the Vampire Slayer", even if this copy would be "taller", "perkier", "brunetter," filmed in "gritty" Vancouver, and so on.
And so, BTVS fans' last hopes have turned to a spin-off starring Willow. Such a possibility makes me happy, as I am a fan of Willow. To date I have shown my great affection for the character both by (1) slicing her soul into good and bad pieces, forcing her to spend months in a self-imposed hell, and turning her into a powerful demon with scales (Inner Demons); and (2) melting her into black goo, forcing her to spend months in a self- imposed hell, and turning her into a powerful demon with scales AND wings (Special K).
Unfortunately, to date the discussed spin-off possibilities have been far from promising. We've had Willow the Headmistress of Slayer School, Willow the Watcher, and - wait for it - Willow the Vampire Slayer. These are yet more examples of "X (or Xs) the Vampire Slayer(s)", even if these copies would be "witchier", "more magical", filmed in "gritty" bucolic England, or Monaco, etc., etc.
Ladies and gentlemen, I dare say we need a new concept for a spin-off. One that puts "X the Vampire Slayer" into the circular file once and for all.
And - surprise! - I just happen to have an idea right here, in my back pocket. What if we (3) just skip the slicing or melting part, send Willow directly to hell for real, and turn her into a powerful demon with scales, wings, AND sharp pointy teeth?
Now that would be television worth watching. And, well worth paying for. To learn more about how _you_ can send me sacks of cash, e-mail dr_stewart@hotmail.com.
Without further adieu, I give you my teaser roll for "Willow, Princess of Twilight."
* * *
(Author's additional note: as my fifteen fans know, I usually write prose. This is my first attempt at writing a script, so I ask my readers to bear with me. And yes, I know I didn't use standard script conventions.)
* * *
GILES: [Voice Over] Previously, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
[Sequence of clips showing Willow's first meeting with Buffy, Willow using magic to re-ensoul Angel, Willow meeting Tara, Willow telling Tara that she "is with the one she loves," Willow draining Glory to restore Tara, Tara being shot to death, Willow flaying and burning Warren, Xander talking Willow out of attempting to destroy the world, Willow using dark magic to pull Buffy out of the void.]
[Final clip - a cave. Both Willow and Spike are bleeding badly. The First, in the form of the Master, looks on and cackles evilly. Willow manages to turn to Spike. She takes his hand, and her eyes ask a question. He squeezes her hand and nods. Willow turns back to the First and gives it a tired, but triumphant smile. Suddenly, she and Spike burst into flame. A loud rumbling is heard, and the roof of the cave falls on top of the burning Willow and Spike. The First screams, managing a shouted "I'll be back!" before appearing to explode into dust. (Author's note - rest assured that this clip is a complete fabrication on my part; it is not based on the episode 22 spoilers.)]
* * *
[SCENE: Fade to what appears to be a sleeping Willow. The camera pulls away, and we see that Willow is dressed in prison rags, and that she is in a large rock-walled cell. She slowly opens her eyes.]
WILLOW: [V.O.] And now, on Willow, Princess of Twilight.
WILLOW: Where... am I?
[She hears noises to her left. She looks left, and through the bars sees a steady stream of mining cars go by, each filled to the brim with ore. The mining cars are pushed by a mixture of humans as well as various types of demons, but all are trudging with their heads down, all wearing rags. All are obviously prisoners. Occasionally, other demons, dressed in black armor, yell at, curse, and occasionally whip the prisoners. Willow looks down at herself, and sees that she is also wearing rags. Willow frowns.]
WILLOW: Oh. Crap. I'm in hell, aren't I?
VOICE: [From Willow's right.] Yes. A hell dimension. One of them, anyway.
[Willows swings her head to the right, and is taken aback to see CASSIE NEWTON.]
WILLOW: Let me guess, I just died closing off Earth from the First, and something very evil and powerful was able to claim my soul, and reincarnate me as a slave in this hell dimension, right?
CASSIE: [Nods.] I thought you might figure out what happened. You're pretty smart, that way. You just materialized here a few minutes ago.
WILLOW: [Looks down.] Me - I can understand - but why are you here?
CASSIE: I died on top of the hellmouth, remember? That's how they were able to claim me.
WILLOW: They, who?
CASSIE: The rulers of this place. They run a mine here, in this dimension, in the service of the First. The ore they mine here - it helps give a lot of evil things their power, including the First. Soon, they will have taken enough from this dimension that the First will be able to smash the barrier between the worlds and send a Black Army to conquer Earth.
[Willow gasps.]
CASSIE: Most of the souls they drag here are reincarnated as their slaves - a few get to be soldiers. In my case, they wanted to use my psychic gifts. That's why they treat me better than most of the others. [She gives a weak smile.] I don't want to help them, but I don't have a choice - they can invade my mind. They even used me to help torture you - you remember? [A tear runs down Cassie's cheek.]
WILLOW: It's okay. It wasn't your fault.
CASSIE: I know. And, some stuff I manage to hide.
WILLOW: Oh, wow. Sounds awful.
CASSIE: [Looks at Willow, and let's out a soft laugh.] I think it's about to get better. [She whispers.] You still have your powers, don't you?
WILLOW: Um... [she closes her eyes, then suddenly opens them wide. They are solid black.] Yes - oh Goddess.
[Cassie grasps onto Willow.]
CASSIE: Willow. You have to listen to me. It's hard to explain, but - you're like the fly in their ointment. They think you're weak, that you're just going to be another slave, maybe with some magical abilities they can exploit. They don't know what you can do. But I do... You can fight them, Willow. You can defeat them.
WILLOW: [Blinks a few times, her eyes turn back to green.] But - Goddess, Cassie, you have no idea what I can do - what I did.
[Cassie smiles. We hear a voice over, and realize they are words inside Willow's mind.]
CASSIE [voice over]: Oh, I know what you did. I know this is hard for you, Willow, but you have to be strong. Like an Amazon. [Willow gasps at Cassie's words.] You have to bring Dark Willow back.
WILLOW: But, but... if I let myself become her again, really do it, I won't come back... and I don't know what will happen... I could easily destroy all of you...
CASSIE: [Grins, voice over] Hey, it's not like any of us slaves are going to get in your way. No one's going to try to kick your ass to save you this time. And when you're done - there are others of us who can bring you back.
WILLOW: I don't know...
CASSIE: [Voice over] Please, Willow. Please. They're really going to have enough to break through soon - and then everyone you knew, everyone you loved will die. They will all become slaves. And in a few decades of slavery and torture...
WILLOW: Their minds are destroyed, and they truly die.
CASSIE: [Voice over] You understand.
[Willow nods.]
* * *
[SCENE: A large rock-walled chamber. In the center stands a line-up of prisoners, very similar to what we saw in the BTVS episode "Anne." A GUARD with a skeleton-like face, carrying a spiked club and with elaborate black spiked armor, review the line-up.]
GUARD: Whatever you were, whoever you think you are, that is gone now. You are a slave for us. Do you understand? [He turns to the first prisoner]. Who are you?
PRISONER 1: My name is...
[Suddenly dropped to the floor after being hit by the Guard. The Guard turns to the next prisoner.]
GUARD: Who are you?
PRISONER 2: A slave. [Looks down.]
GUARD: Good.
[The Guard turns to the next prisoner, who is Willow - with black hair, black eyes, and swollen veins. The Guard does not notice Willow's change in appearance.]
GUARD: Who are you?
[Willow just smiles.]
GUARD: Are you deaf? Who are you?
WILLOW: My name is Willow. But you will call me Mistress.
[The Guard pulls back to strike - and is immediately flayed, and bursts into flames, screaming.]
WILLOW: You never learn. Pity.
[Other Guards rush to attack Willow - they just burst into flames.]
WILLOW: You're all being mean to these poor people. I hate mean demons.
[Fireballs appear in her hands, then shoot towards demons and cars of ore around the walls of the chamber. They explode into flames.]
WILLOW: Now you're all going to burn. And this time, no one is going to stop me. They promised.
* * *
[SCENE: Another large stone-walled prison cell, this one holding SPIKE, ANDREW, and JONATHAN. Outside the bars of the cell is a hallway, ending with a solid metal door.]
JONATHAN: So, you're not going to eat us, then?
SPIKE: Sodding hell, no. I don't have much desire to eat anything at all, come to think of it. Being sent to hell has sort of killed my appetite.
ANDREW: See, I told you he was a good vampire now. And I'm not going to stab you again, or anything. I'm not under the control of the First anymore, because, well, the First is dead! Yay!
JONATHAN: Well then, that's a relief. Rather than an agonizing re-death, I just have centuries of back-breaking labor and torture to look forward to.
SPIKE: Yeah, mate. Been in tough spots before, but this one just about takes it. It will take years to figure out how to get through these bars and out of this prison. Hard to see how it can get any worse.
[He and the other two are rapidly jarred by the sounds of explosions and demon screams.]
JONATHAN: It's worse.
[The solid metal door explodes into shrapnel. A burning demon flies into the hallway with the force of a projectile, and promptly explodes into dust. An arc of white flames bursts through the hallway soon after. A few seconds later, Dark Willow enters the hallway, her arms raised. Twin jets of fire rise from her hands. By this point, her face and hands have been charred, and black oil runs out of her eyes and mouth, dripping onto the floor. She stares to look at them with jet black eyes.]
ANDREW: We're toast.
JONATHAN: Extra crispy.
WILLOW: [seemingly lost in thought.] Free the people. Free the nice demons. Kill the mean demons. [She waves her arms, and the cell's bars melt into slag. She turns and walks out of the corridor.]
SPIKE: Or we could just waltz out the door. Bugger!
* * *
[Words on screen: "There are events that have been planned for millennia, by the hidden masters of this universe."]
* * *
[SCENE: A well-appointed executive conference room. A goodly number of well-dressed humanoid demons sit around a table. In appearance, they are a cross between Wolfram and Hart and the Council of Watchers. They are quite agitated.]
DEMON 1: So, what do we know?
DEMON 2: Much, but the more we learn, the more... disturbing it gets. At 1:05 pm yesterday afternoon, in the common time, the guards of the Morcalthian Mines were showing their famed hospitality to some newly resurrected slaves. [Laughter.] At that point, things began to go terribly wrong. One of the prisoners began a one-slave war against the prison guards and managers.
DEMON 1: So? Some of those wretches are trying to rebel all the time. Occasionally, they even manage to destroy a guard. Why would this incident be any different?
DEMON 2: Because most slaves aren't able to incinerate all the guards with fireballs and psionic blasts, as this prisoner did.
[SCENE: Quick sequence of cuts showing Willow burning and blasting away guards.]
[SCENE: Gasps around the conference table.]
* * *
[Words on screen: "And then there are events that aren't supposed to happen."]
* * *
DEMON 2: [Continuing.] By 1:07, all the guards in Chamber A had been destroyed. The Mine overseers detected the disturbance quickly, and sent a company of Mine Guardians into the chamber.
[SCENE: A group of fearsome looking, heavily armed demons, storms into the chamber towards Willow. She is now bleeding black oil from her eyes, nose, and veins. Willow looks at them and smiles. She waves her arms, and a horizontal blast of energy slices them all in half, then catches them on fire.]
[SCENE: Demon 2 continues.]
DEMON 2: They were unsuccessful. Over the next twenty-five minutes, the slave managed to work her way to the mine's central tower, then up the central tower to the chamber of the Lord of the Mine at the top of the tower. She destroyed absolutely everything in her path. Mine guardians, attack beasts, overseers - no matter how powerful they were, they were all annihilated.
[SCENE: Quick cuts of Dark Willow annihilating various things.]
[SCENE: Demon 2 continues.]
DEMON 2: At 1:32 pm in the afternoon, the slave burst into the chamber of the Lord of the Mine. As you might expect, the dark energies the slave managed to wield, were... unprecedented. Not surprisingly, they consumed the slave's body, and probably her mind.
* * *
[SCENE: A glass-walled chamber overlooking a vast plain from high above. A spiral staircase descends from the center of the chamber. The chamber's furnishings and carpeting are elaborate. The LORD OF THE MINE, a scaly demon wielding a battle ax and standing twenty feet high, stands near an edge.]
[There is a blasting noise and an inhuman scream, and Willow suddenly appears in the chamber. At this point, Willow has become a skeleton with black eyes, with bones covered in black oil, dripping onto the carpeting. A cloud of shifting and crackling energy surrounds the skeleton.]
LORD OF THE MINE: You! You've ruined everything! Do you know what we're doing to have to do to make quota?
WILLOW: [Oblivous to LOTM's words. She speaks with a monotone, demonic voice.] I'm broken. I saved the people, and killed the mean demons, but it was too much.
LOTM: You're broken? When I'm done with you...
WILLOW: They told me I could call on her and she'd fix me.
LOTM: Fix? Why, I'm going to torture you for one hundred years...
WILLOW: She answered. She told me she'd fix me. She told me she'd make me a princess who can fly.
LOTM: Princess? Talk some sense! Just wait until you hear how bad I'm going to torture you!
WILLOW: I always wanted to be a princess. Even before I wanted to marry Xander and have a little white house with a picket fence and 2.1 apple- cheeked kids.
LOTM: Enough! [Readies battle axe.]
WILLOW: All I need to do is take your power and let her rise through me.
LOTM: Fine! Torture for a thousand years, then!
[LOTM swings forward with the axe. As he does, he is frozen in mid motion. Willow calmly walks over to the LOTM, and places her hand on his chest.]
WILLOW: Bored now. I want to fly.
[The LOTM explodes in a cloud of energy, which Willow absorbs. The skeleton wavers, becomes a cloud, then expands - into an enormous dragon, 50 feet wide, with green scales, red wings, and jet black eyes. (Author's note: Yeah, I'm recycling, but is there really anything better than Dragon Willow? Didn't think so.) The dragon Willow roars and blows out a wall of glass with a fiery burst, then soars out of the tower.]
[Close-up of Willow's eyes, which change from solid black to more-or-less normal green.]
WILLOW: [Voice over, but in normal voice.] What have I done?
[The dragon plummets towards the ground.]
* * *
[SCENE: The conference table. The demons are left speechless for a minute.]
PROSPEXA [an obviously female demon, treated with deference by the others present.]: So what you're saying is that the slave completely assimilated the energy of the Lord of the Mine, then spontaneously underwent an ascension and became the living incarnation of the dragon Arthenia? Unbelievable. And you say this slave was initially human, right?
DEMON 2: [Nervous.] Yes, Mistress Prospexa - she was. And I swear to you that's what happened. I have experienced the remembrances of some of the few guards who survived, first-hand.
PROSPEXA: I believe you. And - you said it was a her, right?
DEMON 2: Yes.
PROSPEXA: I have come in contact with a human who was able to muster this much power before. Let me have the remembrances.
[Demon 2 tentatively walks over the Prospexa. Prospexa grabs Demon 2's hand.]
PROSPEXA: [Eyes roll, she shakes slightly.] Yes... yes... it's her! [She breaks contact.]
DEMON 1: Who is it, my lady?
PROSPEXA: I've been expecting great things from that girl. [She cackles.]
DEMON 2: Who?
* * *
[Words on screen: "This is the story of one of those events."]
* * *
[SCENE: The large green dragon lies sprawled out on the ground, eyes closed, in the center of a fairly large impact crater. A crowd of humanoid demons begins to form, warily eyeing the dragon. A small CHILD rushes out of the crowd towards the head of the dragon.]
CHILD'S MOTHER: Baby! Come back here!
CHILD: [Stands next to one of the dragon's eyes.] I'm not scared, Momma. It saved us.
[The eye flutters open, and stares at the demon child.]
CHILD: Hi! My name is (sequence of clicking noises). What's yours?
WILLOW: [low, deep sound from the dragon.] Willow... my name is Willow.
* * *
[Words on screen: "The tale of a young woman who goes to hell... and conquers it. In more ways than one..."]
* * *
[SCENE: Back in the Lord of the Mine's former chamber. Crowd of humanoid demons, plus Cassie, JONATHAN and ANDREW are attempting to convince Willow that she is now the ruler of the Morcalthian Mines, and the surrounding dimension.]
WILLOW: But... but... I don't want to be Princess! I haven't been to Princess school! Or even proper lady school! I don't know anything about running a dimension!
ANDREW: We can help you. I can make a big board.
WILLOW: [Rolls her eyes.] Not helping. Besides, I'm a big, scaly, mean dragon with a ravenous appetite. I'll eat everything!
CASSIE: But we need mean to protect us. We need a big, scaly, dragon Amazon. And besides, you're really smart, and nice, and some of us can be your Council, and can teach you how to be uppity with the best of them.
JONATHAN: We can support a dragon here. There's plenty of nasty feral demons roaming around who would be yummy snacks for you, and would no longer be a threat to us. Besides, we need you, really, for our crops and livestock.
WILLOW: Why?
JONATHAN: You see, this land isn't all that fertile. It needs to be treated, and cared for. It needs TLC. More than that, it needs fertilizer. Magical fertilizer, actually.
WILLOW: So? I'm not a Scotts or a Miracle Gro factory... [look of realization spreads across her face] oh... oh crap.
JONATHAN: That's the idea.
* * *
[Words on screen: "In 2004, everyone will be talking about the new girl."]
* * *
[SCENE: Yet another large cavern. The First, in "batwing" form, shakes and shudders with rage. Next to the First, an enormous boulder sporting an enormous jaw of stalactites and stalagmites rocks and rolls in time with the First.]
FIRST: That girl ruined everything! [Roars mightily. The boulder-demon gnashes its teeth.] She... will... pay! [Roars mightily. The boulder- demon gnashes its teeth.]
[SCENE: Glorificus reclines on an ornately decorated sofa, whose end-legs are comprised of two very large demon heads. She's surrounded by the same brown-robed orcs that were common in Season 5.]
FIRST: I'm not going to lose out to a greedy little girl. Even if she did help me back to my rightful place.
[SCENE: D'Hoffryn stands in front of an ornately drawn and framed rendering of Willow flaying Warren.]
D'HOFFRYN: You were supposed to be my greatest creation. My new Anya, but one who'd remain faithful to the cause forever. What happened?
[SCENE: Propsexa sits at her desk, in a very large, ornately decorated office. She stares forlornly at a picture of Dark Willow standing before Prospexa's temple, funneling life energy into the temple in an attempt to end the world.]
PROSPEXA: You could have been my greatest servant. I can't begin to tell you what the bonus is for barbequing the Earth so we can start over. Such a pity.
[SCENE: Lilah Morgan's office. Lilah is leaning back in her chair, while a black-scaled demon largely concealed by a blue robe sits across from her desk.]
LILAH: This Miss Rosenberg - she's really done it this time. We've had setbacks before, but nothing like this. Without that ore, our schedule is in shambles.
[The hooded demon nods.]
LILAH: And the bad part is that she seems to have come from nowhere. There are no prophecies about this girl that we know about, no visions, no divinations. We know she used to hang out with the Slayer, but we have no idea where she got that much power. She can't just be an ordinary human witch, that's for sure.
[The hooded demon nods.]
LILAH: None of our sources have her working for any side but herself. It'd be bad enough if she was a Powers champion, but this is our real nightmare - a completely free agent. A loose cannon. A fly in the oint... [The hooded demon gestures at Lilah, and she stops.]
LILAH: But none of that matters, sir. We'll capture her, rip her mind out, and chop her into small pieces that can be easily studied. Then we'll figure out who she really is.
[The hooded demon nods vigorously.]
[SCENE: The First is still in "batwing" form, still roaring in concert with the teeth-gnashing of the boulder-demon.]
* * *
[Words on screen: "Including the new girl herself."]
[SCENE: An office. Willow confronts Cassie.]
WILLOW: You... you used me. You and the others.
CASSIE: [Gives Willow a wicked smile.] Yes. And?
WILLOW: [Taken aback.] But... but... it was dangerous!
CASSIE: [Let's out a horrid laugh.] Dangerous? Dangerous is being sent to hell and mentally raped and tortured on a regular basis because you had a heart attack on top of a hellmouth. Most of the other people here have similar stories.
WILLOW: You had no right to do what you did!
CASSIE: [Let's out another horrid laugh.] Rights? You're absolutely right, Willow. I didn't. But looking forward to nothing but decades of torment until going irreversibly insane and becoming a slave for eternity kind throws your morals out the window, you know? We used the tools at our disposal. You would have done the same.
WILLOW: But... I'm a dark evil scaly thing now! You made me into this!
CASSIE: [Sighs.] Dark, yes. Scaly, yes. Evil - that's entirely up to you. And I've got to say, so far your track record as a dragon is so much better than when you were a human. Haven't burned or flayed the crap out of anyone lately just because you felt bad, have you? Haven't had much of an urge to, either?
WILLOW: But... [Fades into silence, then looks down and sighs quietly.]
CASSIE: And we're far from the only ones, Willow. Do you have any idea how many there are out there who want to use you? Have used you?
WILLOW: But why? Why does everyone want to use me?
CASSIE: [Smiles.] It's not you. It's your power. It's always about the power.
* * *
[SCENE: Willow sits alone, on top of a tall cliff overlooking the plains of the realm.]
WILLOW: I always wanted to be powerful. Not to mention become a princess with a big castle. [Looks towards the central tower of the Morcalthian Mine, off in the distance.] I got everything I wanted. I can even fly. [Let's out an awful laugh.] And I should be absolutely miserable. After all, I'm in hell. Everyone's perfect Willow, gone totally to hell. But I'm not. I'm only partially miserable.
[She looks at her outstretched hand. A ball of black fire instantly appears.]
WILLOW: I wonder what the witches of the Devonshire coven would say to me now. I wonder what Daddy would say. "Oh, poor Willow Rosenberg, she used to be such a good little girl. So sweet. So reliable. So pure. Now she's gone." Either that or scream hysterically. And I'd say "Weep for Willow Rosenberg, if the tears will come. She's dead."
[Willow looks at the ball of fire for a second, then makes it vanish.]
WILLOW: Of course, it's not like she ever existed to begin with. [She smiles.]
* * *
[Words on screen: "A favorite long-lost character will return."]
* * *
[SCENE: Willow is in a stone chamber, holding a torch. Enormous yellow- slits eyes appear from the darkness. Suddenly, a gigantic black panther- like creature, twenty feet long, strides forth. It growls at Willow.]
WILLOW: Nice kitty... crap.
MISS KITTY FANTASTICO (MKF): [Panther looks surprised for a second, then lets out a chamber-shaking contented purr.] Willowww.... it's meee... don't you remember? Miss Kitty Fantastico!
WILLOW: [Pinches self.] Miss Kitty? Oh, wow... you've grown. And you can talk!
MKF: [Purrs] Yesss... after I died on the hellmouth, my feline essence was brought her. The old rulers made me intelligent and huge to create a "beast of burden." They were mean to me, Willow! No toys or petting or catnip or anything! Just hard work! Rowr! But you showed them!
WILLOW: [Pinches self again.] Wow, it's Miss Kitty...
MKF: [Flips over onto its back, shaking the chamber walls.] Oh, Mistress, it's so good to see you again! Can you scratch my ears like you used to? Please? Meoww?
WILLOW: Uh, sure. [Walks over to MKF, and begins scratching MKF's much larger ears. MKF purrs contentedly.]
WILLOW: [Quietly.] I'm going to need a lot of catnip.
* * *
[Words on screen: "A champion will rise to the defense of the realm." (Author's note to players of the Angel drinking games: drink up!)]
* * *
[SCENE: The Lord of the Mine's chamber. A knighting ceremony, with Willow as Princess, holding a shining sword, and Spike being knighted. Jonathan gives Willow a small piece of paper as Spike approaches her.]
WILLOW: Are you resolved to this?
SPIKE: I am.
WILLOW: [Extends sword to him. Reads paper quickly.] Then take the hilts and repeat after me. Here I do swear fealty and service to New Sunnydale, and to the Princess of the realm...
SPIKE: [As solemnly as he can muster.] Here do I swear fealty and service to New Sunnydale, and to Red... oops I mean the Princess of the realm...
WILLOW: [Laughs.] To speak and to be silent, to do and let be, to come and to go, in need or plenty, in peace or war, living or dying...
SPIKE: To speak and to be silent, to do and let be, to come and to go, in need or plenty, in peace or war, living or dying...
WILLOW: From this hour henceforth, until my Princess release me, or death take me, or the dimension end.
SPIKE: From this hour henceforth, until my Princess release me, or death take me, or the dimension end.
WILLOW: So say, I, William Gray, redeemed vampire of the Order of Aurelius.
SPIKE: So say I, William Gray, redeemed vampire of the... sodding hell, do I have to say that name?
WILLOW: [Smiles.] No. [Looks serious.] And this do I hear, Willow Rosenberg, Princess of New Sunnydale, and I will not forget it, nor fail to reward that which is given: fealty with love, valor with honor, oath- breaking with vengeance. Take this sword, Sir William, as a symbol of your new obligation.
[Spike takes the sword and smiles.]
[SCENE: Willow confronts Jonathan in a small room after the knighting ceremony.]
WILLOW: [Highly flustered.] You mean to tell me I just knighted Spike with a passage from the Lord of the Rings?
JONATHAN: Yeah... but it's a great scene! You know, where Pippin pledges his service to Denethor, Steward of Gondor after the mighty Boromir, Son of Denethor briefly gave into the darkness of the One Ring but then died to save Pippin and Merry from a horde of fearsome orcs!
WILLOW: [Rolls her eyes.] You've got to be kidding.
JONATHAN: No! By taking that oath, Pippin pledges his loyalty not just to Denethor, but the True King Aragorn Elessar, who at last renewed the dignity of the Numenorean kings of old!
WILLOW: [Sighs, mutters under her breath.] Whatever.
[Sir William rushes in.]
SIR WILLIAM: Red - um, excuse me, your highness - that blasted cat has gone off its rocker this time. It thinks it's a horse, and demanding that it be my "noble steed to ride into battle!"
MISS KITTY: [Voice in background] Rowrr! Willow, Andrew told me I could be like Shadowfax! Can I, please? Meoww!
* * *
[Words on screen: "And of course, new friends and enemies will appear."]
[SCENE: The Lord of the Mine's chamber. Willow is running a Council meeting. Attendees include a collection of assorted demons and humans, plus Cassie, Jonathan, and Spike.]
WILLOW: ...And so, yes, we can definitely approve the request to fix the mining carts so they actually roll. Anything else?
CASSIE: At this point, we come to the more important business of the meeting - the matter of the emissaries and would-be ambassadors requesting permission to come to the realm.
WILLOW: [Sighs.] Who do we have?
CASSIE: Let's see... a representative of the realm of Prospexa, Queen of the Darkest Fire...
[Willow gasps noticeably. Brief screenshot of Prospexa shown on-screen.]
CASSIE: A legal representative from the newly-reconstituted firm of Wolfram and Hart...
[Brief screenshot of Lilah and other lawyers with plastered-on smiles.]
WILLOW: That... doesn't sound good.
CASSIE: It gets worse. We also have a request from a withered gnome in a brown robe, who claims to be an emissary from...
WILLOW: Glorificus? But... but... we killed her!
CASSIE: Apparently not. The gnome asked to give you a message: "Back in the high life again. Thanks for all the help. Let's work together, Glory."
WILLOW: Oh, that... Don't think so. [Sighs.] Can this get any worse?
CASSIE: Yup. An ambassador from the realm of the First demanded in, too. Good looking guy, wearing a clerical collar, southern accent, fire and blood pouring out of its eye sockets.
WILLOW: Goddess, no!
CASSIE: Yes - he's already been turned away. We assumed you didn't want the realm to throw itself into a fire pit.
WILLOW: Is there anyone who isn't representing evilness who wants to come in?
CASSIE: Yes, actually. First, we have a special on dragons today. Always interested to meet a new clansmate, you know. We have two requests to receive ambassadors from the realms of the dragon sisters, Pemth Kendia [Brief screenshot of ambassador] and Pemth Amtaxa [another screenshot of ambassador]. We also have another from the dragon realm of Ithilia [yet another screenshot of ambassador]. Actually, Pemth Kendia wants to visit the realm herself in a few weeks. She's supposedly quite a lady's woman, your highness.
[Willow blushes slightly. Cut to clip of Pemth Kendia. We see a black- scaled, black-winged dragon landing near one wing of a palatial mansion - and turning into Kennedy.]
CASSIE: And someone else, who I saved for last... a representative of the realm of the Dryads. Not surprisingly, a dryad herself, named Tranele. Claims to want to help restore the natural beauty of New Sunnydale - or in our case, just add some to begin with.
[Screenshot of Tranele, this one significantly longer than the others. We see a woman covered in an emerald green robe, her face obscured by the robe's hood. The camera approaches the woman's face, then abruptly cuts back to the meeting.]
WILLOW: Nature spirits! Yay! We could certainly use some more natural beauty around here. Do you know anything about her?
CASSIE: [Briefly moves to say something, then doesn't.] Not really, other than that she does an excellent job with evergreens, supposedly.
WILLOW: Well, then. Let's discuss who we want to let in, then.
[SCENE: An empty chamber, obviously much later in the day. Cassie is in the chamber alone, doing what appears to be paperwork. She looks at one piece of parchment, which has an engraving of the hooded dryad, and has "Approved" written on it. She looks up at the ceiling, a forlorn look crossing her face.]
CASSIE: [Whispers.] What do I know about Tranele, Willow? That she still sings to you.
* * *
[Words on screen: "In 2004, the Revolution WILL be televised."]
[SCENE: Willow and SHEILA ROSENBERG are looking out the window of Willow's mountain tower, surveying the lands below.]
SHEILA: So this place used to be what was known as a hell dimension?
WILLOW: Yeah.
SHEILA: Willow - this looks awfully nice for a hell dimension, dearie.
WILLOW: Yeah. We've done a lot of work to improve it. Even brought in real trees with the help of a dryad. I'd say it's more of a heck dimension now.
SHEILA: [Laughs.] Does that make you the Princess of Insufficient Light, then, sweetie?
WILLOW: [Smiles.] I prefer the title Princess of Twilight myself. It sounds better, and I always did like sunsets.
SHEILA: Willow, honey, you know we really should spend some real time together. I hadn't realized so much had changed for you.
WILLOW: [Looks away and frowns.] Yeah, Mom. Sure. Might be hard though, for the next few months. I'm kind of busy, since I've got a dimension to rule and protect...
SHEILA: Willow!
WILLOW: Make that an oppressed multicultural and multiracial people to liberate, and a newly pristine wilderness to defend against rapacious and reactionary supernatural elites.
SHEILA: [Smiles broadly, pinches Willow's cheeks.] Oh, Willow! That's my little revolutionary!
* * *
[Words on screen: "So, in 2004 clear your schedules... and prepare to join in a fantastic adventure... of several lifetimes." Combine above words with vegematic clip of action sequences from the show.]
[Final clip is of Willow and Tara kissing. (Author's note: Two words - Got Tara.)]
[Slow fade into words on screen: "PRINCESS OF TWILIGHT"]
[SCENE: AMY is engaged in a magical battle with Willow. Amy's hair is standing straight up, her eyes black, her mouth twisted. She screams at Willow.]
AMY: You evil bitch! I'm going to send you to the darkest corner of hell!
WILLOW: Oh, don't scare me! Like that worked _so_ well the last time!
[Words on screen: "FALL 2004"]
[Fade out]
Rowr... meow... (Author's note: Brought to you by ME? Mais, non. Brought to you by HK - "Huge Kitty Productions.")
* * *
And now, on a more serious note: Obnoxious opening and snarky jokes aside, I really am thinking about converting much of the content above into a new fanfiction series, once Buffy officially ends. I have not been happy with the evolution of Season 7, and have been looking for a means to consider many unresolved issues, especially those related to Willow and Spike. The new series would probably be prose (unless y'all really like the abbreviated script format), and yes, it would feature the Willow / Tara relationship (be warned, though, only after a very difficult journey - there is a lot these two characters would have to work through). I would love to hear your thoughts.
A BTVS Spinoff "Teaser Roll" By Doc Stewart
Synopsis: A teaser roll for a Willow-centric spin-off. Think of it as your typical "girl goes to hell dimension, girl conquers hell dimension" story.
Copyright: All characters copyright of Mutant Enemy; I'm just borrowing them under the good graces of ME and Fox. Original story copyright 2003.
Distribution: Please ask first (dr_stewart@hotmail.com), but I will generally grant permission to redistribute this story, with proper credits.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Through S7, currently at episode 18 as I write this; I've also read spoilers through episode 21, and will try to remain consistent with said spoilers. I've even read the episode 22 spoilers, although I place no faith in them, given the amount of unscripted shooting supposedly going on. Rest assured that readers will not have had to read future episode spoilers to appreciate (ahem) this great work, nor will you be spoiled for future episodes by reading this.
Author's Most Humble Introduction:
Dearest fans (all fifteen of you, based on my review counts), by now you are aware that all is not well in Sunnydale. BTVS is fast coming to an end, Angel's return is questionable, and Mutant Enemy have to date been unable to come up with a spin off to Buffy. The initial plan supposedly was to have the follow-up be "Faith the Vampire Slayer," but that ran into trouble when the lead actress decided to star in the Fox pilot "Heroine" instead. Reasons for Elisha Dushku's decision are unknown, but it has been speculated that she did not want to start in an "X the Vampire Slayer" carbon copy of BTVS, even if the copy would be "darker", "richer", "featuring a motorcycle", filmed in "gritty" cities around the country, etc.
There apparently was an earlier movement afoot to have the spin-off be "Dawn the Vampire Slayer," but that also met little enthusiasm as it would be yet another variant of "X the Vampire Slayer", even if this copy would be "taller", "perkier", "brunetter," filmed in "gritty" Vancouver, and so on.
And so, BTVS fans' last hopes have turned to a spin-off starring Willow. Such a possibility makes me happy, as I am a fan of Willow. To date I have shown my great affection for the character both by (1) slicing her soul into good and bad pieces, forcing her to spend months in a self-imposed hell, and turning her into a powerful demon with scales (Inner Demons); and (2) melting her into black goo, forcing her to spend months in a self- imposed hell, and turning her into a powerful demon with scales AND wings (Special K).
Unfortunately, to date the discussed spin-off possibilities have been far from promising. We've had Willow the Headmistress of Slayer School, Willow the Watcher, and - wait for it - Willow the Vampire Slayer. These are yet more examples of "X (or Xs) the Vampire Slayer(s)", even if these copies would be "witchier", "more magical", filmed in "gritty" bucolic England, or Monaco, etc., etc.
Ladies and gentlemen, I dare say we need a new concept for a spin-off. One that puts "X the Vampire Slayer" into the circular file once and for all.
And - surprise! - I just happen to have an idea right here, in my back pocket. What if we (3) just skip the slicing or melting part, send Willow directly to hell for real, and turn her into a powerful demon with scales, wings, AND sharp pointy teeth?
Now that would be television worth watching. And, well worth paying for. To learn more about how _you_ can send me sacks of cash, e-mail dr_stewart@hotmail.com.
Without further adieu, I give you my teaser roll for "Willow, Princess of Twilight."
* * *
(Author's additional note: as my fifteen fans know, I usually write prose. This is my first attempt at writing a script, so I ask my readers to bear with me. And yes, I know I didn't use standard script conventions.)
* * *
GILES: [Voice Over] Previously, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
[Sequence of clips showing Willow's first meeting with Buffy, Willow using magic to re-ensoul Angel, Willow meeting Tara, Willow telling Tara that she "is with the one she loves," Willow draining Glory to restore Tara, Tara being shot to death, Willow flaying and burning Warren, Xander talking Willow out of attempting to destroy the world, Willow using dark magic to pull Buffy out of the void.]
[Final clip - a cave. Both Willow and Spike are bleeding badly. The First, in the form of the Master, looks on and cackles evilly. Willow manages to turn to Spike. She takes his hand, and her eyes ask a question. He squeezes her hand and nods. Willow turns back to the First and gives it a tired, but triumphant smile. Suddenly, she and Spike burst into flame. A loud rumbling is heard, and the roof of the cave falls on top of the burning Willow and Spike. The First screams, managing a shouted "I'll be back!" before appearing to explode into dust. (Author's note - rest assured that this clip is a complete fabrication on my part; it is not based on the episode 22 spoilers.)]
* * *
[SCENE: Fade to what appears to be a sleeping Willow. The camera pulls away, and we see that Willow is dressed in prison rags, and that she is in a large rock-walled cell. She slowly opens her eyes.]
WILLOW: [V.O.] And now, on Willow, Princess of Twilight.
WILLOW: Where... am I?
[She hears noises to her left. She looks left, and through the bars sees a steady stream of mining cars go by, each filled to the brim with ore. The mining cars are pushed by a mixture of humans as well as various types of demons, but all are trudging with their heads down, all wearing rags. All are obviously prisoners. Occasionally, other demons, dressed in black armor, yell at, curse, and occasionally whip the prisoners. Willow looks down at herself, and sees that she is also wearing rags. Willow frowns.]
WILLOW: Oh. Crap. I'm in hell, aren't I?
VOICE: [From Willow's right.] Yes. A hell dimension. One of them, anyway.
[Willows swings her head to the right, and is taken aback to see CASSIE NEWTON.]
WILLOW: Let me guess, I just died closing off Earth from the First, and something very evil and powerful was able to claim my soul, and reincarnate me as a slave in this hell dimension, right?
CASSIE: [Nods.] I thought you might figure out what happened. You're pretty smart, that way. You just materialized here a few minutes ago.
WILLOW: [Looks down.] Me - I can understand - but why are you here?
CASSIE: I died on top of the hellmouth, remember? That's how they were able to claim me.
WILLOW: They, who?
CASSIE: The rulers of this place. They run a mine here, in this dimension, in the service of the First. The ore they mine here - it helps give a lot of evil things their power, including the First. Soon, they will have taken enough from this dimension that the First will be able to smash the barrier between the worlds and send a Black Army to conquer Earth.
[Willow gasps.]
CASSIE: Most of the souls they drag here are reincarnated as their slaves - a few get to be soldiers. In my case, they wanted to use my psychic gifts. That's why they treat me better than most of the others. [She gives a weak smile.] I don't want to help them, but I don't have a choice - they can invade my mind. They even used me to help torture you - you remember? [A tear runs down Cassie's cheek.]
WILLOW: It's okay. It wasn't your fault.
CASSIE: I know. And, some stuff I manage to hide.
WILLOW: Oh, wow. Sounds awful.
CASSIE: [Looks at Willow, and let's out a soft laugh.] I think it's about to get better. [She whispers.] You still have your powers, don't you?
WILLOW: Um... [she closes her eyes, then suddenly opens them wide. They are solid black.] Yes - oh Goddess.
[Cassie grasps onto Willow.]
CASSIE: Willow. You have to listen to me. It's hard to explain, but - you're like the fly in their ointment. They think you're weak, that you're just going to be another slave, maybe with some magical abilities they can exploit. They don't know what you can do. But I do... You can fight them, Willow. You can defeat them.
WILLOW: [Blinks a few times, her eyes turn back to green.] But - Goddess, Cassie, you have no idea what I can do - what I did.
[Cassie smiles. We hear a voice over, and realize they are words inside Willow's mind.]
CASSIE [voice over]: Oh, I know what you did. I know this is hard for you, Willow, but you have to be strong. Like an Amazon. [Willow gasps at Cassie's words.] You have to bring Dark Willow back.
WILLOW: But, but... if I let myself become her again, really do it, I won't come back... and I don't know what will happen... I could easily destroy all of you...
CASSIE: [Grins, voice over] Hey, it's not like any of us slaves are going to get in your way. No one's going to try to kick your ass to save you this time. And when you're done - there are others of us who can bring you back.
WILLOW: I don't know...
CASSIE: [Voice over] Please, Willow. Please. They're really going to have enough to break through soon - and then everyone you knew, everyone you loved will die. They will all become slaves. And in a few decades of slavery and torture...
WILLOW: Their minds are destroyed, and they truly die.
CASSIE: [Voice over] You understand.
[Willow nods.]
* * *
[SCENE: A large rock-walled chamber. In the center stands a line-up of prisoners, very similar to what we saw in the BTVS episode "Anne." A GUARD with a skeleton-like face, carrying a spiked club and with elaborate black spiked armor, review the line-up.]
GUARD: Whatever you were, whoever you think you are, that is gone now. You are a slave for us. Do you understand? [He turns to the first prisoner]. Who are you?
PRISONER 1: My name is...
[Suddenly dropped to the floor after being hit by the Guard. The Guard turns to the next prisoner.]
GUARD: Who are you?
PRISONER 2: A slave. [Looks down.]
GUARD: Good.
[The Guard turns to the next prisoner, who is Willow - with black hair, black eyes, and swollen veins. The Guard does not notice Willow's change in appearance.]
GUARD: Who are you?
[Willow just smiles.]
GUARD: Are you deaf? Who are you?
WILLOW: My name is Willow. But you will call me Mistress.
[The Guard pulls back to strike - and is immediately flayed, and bursts into flames, screaming.]
WILLOW: You never learn. Pity.
[Other Guards rush to attack Willow - they just burst into flames.]
WILLOW: You're all being mean to these poor people. I hate mean demons.
[Fireballs appear in her hands, then shoot towards demons and cars of ore around the walls of the chamber. They explode into flames.]
WILLOW: Now you're all going to burn. And this time, no one is going to stop me. They promised.
* * *
[SCENE: Another large stone-walled prison cell, this one holding SPIKE, ANDREW, and JONATHAN. Outside the bars of the cell is a hallway, ending with a solid metal door.]
JONATHAN: So, you're not going to eat us, then?
SPIKE: Sodding hell, no. I don't have much desire to eat anything at all, come to think of it. Being sent to hell has sort of killed my appetite.
ANDREW: See, I told you he was a good vampire now. And I'm not going to stab you again, or anything. I'm not under the control of the First anymore, because, well, the First is dead! Yay!
JONATHAN: Well then, that's a relief. Rather than an agonizing re-death, I just have centuries of back-breaking labor and torture to look forward to.
SPIKE: Yeah, mate. Been in tough spots before, but this one just about takes it. It will take years to figure out how to get through these bars and out of this prison. Hard to see how it can get any worse.
[He and the other two are rapidly jarred by the sounds of explosions and demon screams.]
JONATHAN: It's worse.
[The solid metal door explodes into shrapnel. A burning demon flies into the hallway with the force of a projectile, and promptly explodes into dust. An arc of white flames bursts through the hallway soon after. A few seconds later, Dark Willow enters the hallway, her arms raised. Twin jets of fire rise from her hands. By this point, her face and hands have been charred, and black oil runs out of her eyes and mouth, dripping onto the floor. She stares to look at them with jet black eyes.]
ANDREW: We're toast.
JONATHAN: Extra crispy.
WILLOW: [seemingly lost in thought.] Free the people. Free the nice demons. Kill the mean demons. [She waves her arms, and the cell's bars melt into slag. She turns and walks out of the corridor.]
SPIKE: Or we could just waltz out the door. Bugger!
* * *
[Words on screen: "There are events that have been planned for millennia, by the hidden masters of this universe."]
* * *
[SCENE: A well-appointed executive conference room. A goodly number of well-dressed humanoid demons sit around a table. In appearance, they are a cross between Wolfram and Hart and the Council of Watchers. They are quite agitated.]
DEMON 1: So, what do we know?
DEMON 2: Much, but the more we learn, the more... disturbing it gets. At 1:05 pm yesterday afternoon, in the common time, the guards of the Morcalthian Mines were showing their famed hospitality to some newly resurrected slaves. [Laughter.] At that point, things began to go terribly wrong. One of the prisoners began a one-slave war against the prison guards and managers.
DEMON 1: So? Some of those wretches are trying to rebel all the time. Occasionally, they even manage to destroy a guard. Why would this incident be any different?
DEMON 2: Because most slaves aren't able to incinerate all the guards with fireballs and psionic blasts, as this prisoner did.
[SCENE: Quick sequence of cuts showing Willow burning and blasting away guards.]
[SCENE: Gasps around the conference table.]
* * *
[Words on screen: "And then there are events that aren't supposed to happen."]
* * *
DEMON 2: [Continuing.] By 1:07, all the guards in Chamber A had been destroyed. The Mine overseers detected the disturbance quickly, and sent a company of Mine Guardians into the chamber.
[SCENE: A group of fearsome looking, heavily armed demons, storms into the chamber towards Willow. She is now bleeding black oil from her eyes, nose, and veins. Willow looks at them and smiles. She waves her arms, and a horizontal blast of energy slices them all in half, then catches them on fire.]
[SCENE: Demon 2 continues.]
DEMON 2: They were unsuccessful. Over the next twenty-five minutes, the slave managed to work her way to the mine's central tower, then up the central tower to the chamber of the Lord of the Mine at the top of the tower. She destroyed absolutely everything in her path. Mine guardians, attack beasts, overseers - no matter how powerful they were, they were all annihilated.
[SCENE: Quick cuts of Dark Willow annihilating various things.]
[SCENE: Demon 2 continues.]
DEMON 2: At 1:32 pm in the afternoon, the slave burst into the chamber of the Lord of the Mine. As you might expect, the dark energies the slave managed to wield, were... unprecedented. Not surprisingly, they consumed the slave's body, and probably her mind.
* * *
[SCENE: A glass-walled chamber overlooking a vast plain from high above. A spiral staircase descends from the center of the chamber. The chamber's furnishings and carpeting are elaborate. The LORD OF THE MINE, a scaly demon wielding a battle ax and standing twenty feet high, stands near an edge.]
[There is a blasting noise and an inhuman scream, and Willow suddenly appears in the chamber. At this point, Willow has become a skeleton with black eyes, with bones covered in black oil, dripping onto the carpeting. A cloud of shifting and crackling energy surrounds the skeleton.]
LORD OF THE MINE: You! You've ruined everything! Do you know what we're doing to have to do to make quota?
WILLOW: [Oblivous to LOTM's words. She speaks with a monotone, demonic voice.] I'm broken. I saved the people, and killed the mean demons, but it was too much.
LOTM: You're broken? When I'm done with you...
WILLOW: They told me I could call on her and she'd fix me.
LOTM: Fix? Why, I'm going to torture you for one hundred years...
WILLOW: She answered. She told me she'd fix me. She told me she'd make me a princess who can fly.
LOTM: Princess? Talk some sense! Just wait until you hear how bad I'm going to torture you!
WILLOW: I always wanted to be a princess. Even before I wanted to marry Xander and have a little white house with a picket fence and 2.1 apple- cheeked kids.
LOTM: Enough! [Readies battle axe.]
WILLOW: All I need to do is take your power and let her rise through me.
LOTM: Fine! Torture for a thousand years, then!
[LOTM swings forward with the axe. As he does, he is frozen in mid motion. Willow calmly walks over to the LOTM, and places her hand on his chest.]
WILLOW: Bored now. I want to fly.
[The LOTM explodes in a cloud of energy, which Willow absorbs. The skeleton wavers, becomes a cloud, then expands - into an enormous dragon, 50 feet wide, with green scales, red wings, and jet black eyes. (Author's note: Yeah, I'm recycling, but is there really anything better than Dragon Willow? Didn't think so.) The dragon Willow roars and blows out a wall of glass with a fiery burst, then soars out of the tower.]
[Close-up of Willow's eyes, which change from solid black to more-or-less normal green.]
WILLOW: [Voice over, but in normal voice.] What have I done?
[The dragon plummets towards the ground.]
* * *
[SCENE: The conference table. The demons are left speechless for a minute.]
PROSPEXA [an obviously female demon, treated with deference by the others present.]: So what you're saying is that the slave completely assimilated the energy of the Lord of the Mine, then spontaneously underwent an ascension and became the living incarnation of the dragon Arthenia? Unbelievable. And you say this slave was initially human, right?
DEMON 2: [Nervous.] Yes, Mistress Prospexa - she was. And I swear to you that's what happened. I have experienced the remembrances of some of the few guards who survived, first-hand.
PROSPEXA: I believe you. And - you said it was a her, right?
DEMON 2: Yes.
PROSPEXA: I have come in contact with a human who was able to muster this much power before. Let me have the remembrances.
[Demon 2 tentatively walks over the Prospexa. Prospexa grabs Demon 2's hand.]
PROSPEXA: [Eyes roll, she shakes slightly.] Yes... yes... it's her! [She breaks contact.]
DEMON 1: Who is it, my lady?
PROSPEXA: I've been expecting great things from that girl. [She cackles.]
DEMON 2: Who?
* * *
[Words on screen: "This is the story of one of those events."]
* * *
[SCENE: The large green dragon lies sprawled out on the ground, eyes closed, in the center of a fairly large impact crater. A crowd of humanoid demons begins to form, warily eyeing the dragon. A small CHILD rushes out of the crowd towards the head of the dragon.]
CHILD'S MOTHER: Baby! Come back here!
CHILD: [Stands next to one of the dragon's eyes.] I'm not scared, Momma. It saved us.
[The eye flutters open, and stares at the demon child.]
CHILD: Hi! My name is (sequence of clicking noises). What's yours?
WILLOW: [low, deep sound from the dragon.] Willow... my name is Willow.
* * *
[Words on screen: "The tale of a young woman who goes to hell... and conquers it. In more ways than one..."]
* * *
[SCENE: Back in the Lord of the Mine's former chamber. Crowd of humanoid demons, plus Cassie, JONATHAN and ANDREW are attempting to convince Willow that she is now the ruler of the Morcalthian Mines, and the surrounding dimension.]
WILLOW: But... but... I don't want to be Princess! I haven't been to Princess school! Or even proper lady school! I don't know anything about running a dimension!
ANDREW: We can help you. I can make a big board.
WILLOW: [Rolls her eyes.] Not helping. Besides, I'm a big, scaly, mean dragon with a ravenous appetite. I'll eat everything!
CASSIE: But we need mean to protect us. We need a big, scaly, dragon Amazon. And besides, you're really smart, and nice, and some of us can be your Council, and can teach you how to be uppity with the best of them.
JONATHAN: We can support a dragon here. There's plenty of nasty feral demons roaming around who would be yummy snacks for you, and would no longer be a threat to us. Besides, we need you, really, for our crops and livestock.
WILLOW: Why?
JONATHAN: You see, this land isn't all that fertile. It needs to be treated, and cared for. It needs TLC. More than that, it needs fertilizer. Magical fertilizer, actually.
WILLOW: So? I'm not a Scotts or a Miracle Gro factory... [look of realization spreads across her face] oh... oh crap.
JONATHAN: That's the idea.
* * *
[Words on screen: "In 2004, everyone will be talking about the new girl."]
* * *
[SCENE: Yet another large cavern. The First, in "batwing" form, shakes and shudders with rage. Next to the First, an enormous boulder sporting an enormous jaw of stalactites and stalagmites rocks and rolls in time with the First.]
FIRST: That girl ruined everything! [Roars mightily. The boulder-demon gnashes its teeth.] She... will... pay! [Roars mightily. The boulder- demon gnashes its teeth.]
[SCENE: Glorificus reclines on an ornately decorated sofa, whose end-legs are comprised of two very large demon heads. She's surrounded by the same brown-robed orcs that were common in Season 5.]
FIRST: I'm not going to lose out to a greedy little girl. Even if she did help me back to my rightful place.
[SCENE: D'Hoffryn stands in front of an ornately drawn and framed rendering of Willow flaying Warren.]
D'HOFFRYN: You were supposed to be my greatest creation. My new Anya, but one who'd remain faithful to the cause forever. What happened?
[SCENE: Propsexa sits at her desk, in a very large, ornately decorated office. She stares forlornly at a picture of Dark Willow standing before Prospexa's temple, funneling life energy into the temple in an attempt to end the world.]
PROSPEXA: You could have been my greatest servant. I can't begin to tell you what the bonus is for barbequing the Earth so we can start over. Such a pity.
[SCENE: Lilah Morgan's office. Lilah is leaning back in her chair, while a black-scaled demon largely concealed by a blue robe sits across from her desk.]
LILAH: This Miss Rosenberg - she's really done it this time. We've had setbacks before, but nothing like this. Without that ore, our schedule is in shambles.
[The hooded demon nods.]
LILAH: And the bad part is that she seems to have come from nowhere. There are no prophecies about this girl that we know about, no visions, no divinations. We know she used to hang out with the Slayer, but we have no idea where she got that much power. She can't just be an ordinary human witch, that's for sure.
[The hooded demon nods.]
LILAH: None of our sources have her working for any side but herself. It'd be bad enough if she was a Powers champion, but this is our real nightmare - a completely free agent. A loose cannon. A fly in the oint... [The hooded demon gestures at Lilah, and she stops.]
LILAH: But none of that matters, sir. We'll capture her, rip her mind out, and chop her into small pieces that can be easily studied. Then we'll figure out who she really is.
[The hooded demon nods vigorously.]
[SCENE: The First is still in "batwing" form, still roaring in concert with the teeth-gnashing of the boulder-demon.]
* * *
[Words on screen: "Including the new girl herself."]
[SCENE: An office. Willow confronts Cassie.]
WILLOW: You... you used me. You and the others.
CASSIE: [Gives Willow a wicked smile.] Yes. And?
WILLOW: [Taken aback.] But... but... it was dangerous!
CASSIE: [Let's out a horrid laugh.] Dangerous? Dangerous is being sent to hell and mentally raped and tortured on a regular basis because you had a heart attack on top of a hellmouth. Most of the other people here have similar stories.
WILLOW: You had no right to do what you did!
CASSIE: [Let's out another horrid laugh.] Rights? You're absolutely right, Willow. I didn't. But looking forward to nothing but decades of torment until going irreversibly insane and becoming a slave for eternity kind throws your morals out the window, you know? We used the tools at our disposal. You would have done the same.
WILLOW: But... I'm a dark evil scaly thing now! You made me into this!
CASSIE: [Sighs.] Dark, yes. Scaly, yes. Evil - that's entirely up to you. And I've got to say, so far your track record as a dragon is so much better than when you were a human. Haven't burned or flayed the crap out of anyone lately just because you felt bad, have you? Haven't had much of an urge to, either?
WILLOW: But... [Fades into silence, then looks down and sighs quietly.]
CASSIE: And we're far from the only ones, Willow. Do you have any idea how many there are out there who want to use you? Have used you?
WILLOW: But why? Why does everyone want to use me?
CASSIE: [Smiles.] It's not you. It's your power. It's always about the power.
* * *
[SCENE: Willow sits alone, on top of a tall cliff overlooking the plains of the realm.]
WILLOW: I always wanted to be powerful. Not to mention become a princess with a big castle. [Looks towards the central tower of the Morcalthian Mine, off in the distance.] I got everything I wanted. I can even fly. [Let's out an awful laugh.] And I should be absolutely miserable. After all, I'm in hell. Everyone's perfect Willow, gone totally to hell. But I'm not. I'm only partially miserable.
[She looks at her outstretched hand. A ball of black fire instantly appears.]
WILLOW: I wonder what the witches of the Devonshire coven would say to me now. I wonder what Daddy would say. "Oh, poor Willow Rosenberg, she used to be such a good little girl. So sweet. So reliable. So pure. Now she's gone." Either that or scream hysterically. And I'd say "Weep for Willow Rosenberg, if the tears will come. She's dead."
[Willow looks at the ball of fire for a second, then makes it vanish.]
WILLOW: Of course, it's not like she ever existed to begin with. [She smiles.]
* * *
[Words on screen: "A favorite long-lost character will return."]
* * *
[SCENE: Willow is in a stone chamber, holding a torch. Enormous yellow- slits eyes appear from the darkness. Suddenly, a gigantic black panther- like creature, twenty feet long, strides forth. It growls at Willow.]
WILLOW: Nice kitty... crap.
MISS KITTY FANTASTICO (MKF): [Panther looks surprised for a second, then lets out a chamber-shaking contented purr.] Willowww.... it's meee... don't you remember? Miss Kitty Fantastico!
WILLOW: [Pinches self.] Miss Kitty? Oh, wow... you've grown. And you can talk!
MKF: [Purrs] Yesss... after I died on the hellmouth, my feline essence was brought her. The old rulers made me intelligent and huge to create a "beast of burden." They were mean to me, Willow! No toys or petting or catnip or anything! Just hard work! Rowr! But you showed them!
WILLOW: [Pinches self again.] Wow, it's Miss Kitty...
MKF: [Flips over onto its back, shaking the chamber walls.] Oh, Mistress, it's so good to see you again! Can you scratch my ears like you used to? Please? Meoww?
WILLOW: Uh, sure. [Walks over to MKF, and begins scratching MKF's much larger ears. MKF purrs contentedly.]
WILLOW: [Quietly.] I'm going to need a lot of catnip.
* * *
[Words on screen: "A champion will rise to the defense of the realm." (Author's note to players of the Angel drinking games: drink up!)]
* * *
[SCENE: The Lord of the Mine's chamber. A knighting ceremony, with Willow as Princess, holding a shining sword, and Spike being knighted. Jonathan gives Willow a small piece of paper as Spike approaches her.]
WILLOW: Are you resolved to this?
SPIKE: I am.
WILLOW: [Extends sword to him. Reads paper quickly.] Then take the hilts and repeat after me. Here I do swear fealty and service to New Sunnydale, and to the Princess of the realm...
SPIKE: [As solemnly as he can muster.] Here do I swear fealty and service to New Sunnydale, and to Red... oops I mean the Princess of the realm...
WILLOW: [Laughs.] To speak and to be silent, to do and let be, to come and to go, in need or plenty, in peace or war, living or dying...
SPIKE: To speak and to be silent, to do and let be, to come and to go, in need or plenty, in peace or war, living or dying...
WILLOW: From this hour henceforth, until my Princess release me, or death take me, or the dimension end.
SPIKE: From this hour henceforth, until my Princess release me, or death take me, or the dimension end.
WILLOW: So say, I, William Gray, redeemed vampire of the Order of Aurelius.
SPIKE: So say I, William Gray, redeemed vampire of the... sodding hell, do I have to say that name?
WILLOW: [Smiles.] No. [Looks serious.] And this do I hear, Willow Rosenberg, Princess of New Sunnydale, and I will not forget it, nor fail to reward that which is given: fealty with love, valor with honor, oath- breaking with vengeance. Take this sword, Sir William, as a symbol of your new obligation.
[Spike takes the sword and smiles.]
[SCENE: Willow confronts Jonathan in a small room after the knighting ceremony.]
WILLOW: [Highly flustered.] You mean to tell me I just knighted Spike with a passage from the Lord of the Rings?
JONATHAN: Yeah... but it's a great scene! You know, where Pippin pledges his service to Denethor, Steward of Gondor after the mighty Boromir, Son of Denethor briefly gave into the darkness of the One Ring but then died to save Pippin and Merry from a horde of fearsome orcs!
WILLOW: [Rolls her eyes.] You've got to be kidding.
JONATHAN: No! By taking that oath, Pippin pledges his loyalty not just to Denethor, but the True King Aragorn Elessar, who at last renewed the dignity of the Numenorean kings of old!
WILLOW: [Sighs, mutters under her breath.] Whatever.
[Sir William rushes in.]
SIR WILLIAM: Red - um, excuse me, your highness - that blasted cat has gone off its rocker this time. It thinks it's a horse, and demanding that it be my "noble steed to ride into battle!"
MISS KITTY: [Voice in background] Rowrr! Willow, Andrew told me I could be like Shadowfax! Can I, please? Meoww!
* * *
[Words on screen: "And of course, new friends and enemies will appear."]
[SCENE: The Lord of the Mine's chamber. Willow is running a Council meeting. Attendees include a collection of assorted demons and humans, plus Cassie, Jonathan, and Spike.]
WILLOW: ...And so, yes, we can definitely approve the request to fix the mining carts so they actually roll. Anything else?
CASSIE: At this point, we come to the more important business of the meeting - the matter of the emissaries and would-be ambassadors requesting permission to come to the realm.
WILLOW: [Sighs.] Who do we have?
CASSIE: Let's see... a representative of the realm of Prospexa, Queen of the Darkest Fire...
[Willow gasps noticeably. Brief screenshot of Prospexa shown on-screen.]
CASSIE: A legal representative from the newly-reconstituted firm of Wolfram and Hart...
[Brief screenshot of Lilah and other lawyers with plastered-on smiles.]
WILLOW: That... doesn't sound good.
CASSIE: It gets worse. We also have a request from a withered gnome in a brown robe, who claims to be an emissary from...
WILLOW: Glorificus? But... but... we killed her!
CASSIE: Apparently not. The gnome asked to give you a message: "Back in the high life again. Thanks for all the help. Let's work together, Glory."
WILLOW: Oh, that... Don't think so. [Sighs.] Can this get any worse?
CASSIE: Yup. An ambassador from the realm of the First demanded in, too. Good looking guy, wearing a clerical collar, southern accent, fire and blood pouring out of its eye sockets.
WILLOW: Goddess, no!
CASSIE: Yes - he's already been turned away. We assumed you didn't want the realm to throw itself into a fire pit.
WILLOW: Is there anyone who isn't representing evilness who wants to come in?
CASSIE: Yes, actually. First, we have a special on dragons today. Always interested to meet a new clansmate, you know. We have two requests to receive ambassadors from the realms of the dragon sisters, Pemth Kendia [Brief screenshot of ambassador] and Pemth Amtaxa [another screenshot of ambassador]. We also have another from the dragon realm of Ithilia [yet another screenshot of ambassador]. Actually, Pemth Kendia wants to visit the realm herself in a few weeks. She's supposedly quite a lady's woman, your highness.
[Willow blushes slightly. Cut to clip of Pemth Kendia. We see a black- scaled, black-winged dragon landing near one wing of a palatial mansion - and turning into Kennedy.]
CASSIE: And someone else, who I saved for last... a representative of the realm of the Dryads. Not surprisingly, a dryad herself, named Tranele. Claims to want to help restore the natural beauty of New Sunnydale - or in our case, just add some to begin with.
[Screenshot of Tranele, this one significantly longer than the others. We see a woman covered in an emerald green robe, her face obscured by the robe's hood. The camera approaches the woman's face, then abruptly cuts back to the meeting.]
WILLOW: Nature spirits! Yay! We could certainly use some more natural beauty around here. Do you know anything about her?
CASSIE: [Briefly moves to say something, then doesn't.] Not really, other than that she does an excellent job with evergreens, supposedly.
WILLOW: Well, then. Let's discuss who we want to let in, then.
[SCENE: An empty chamber, obviously much later in the day. Cassie is in the chamber alone, doing what appears to be paperwork. She looks at one piece of parchment, which has an engraving of the hooded dryad, and has "Approved" written on it. She looks up at the ceiling, a forlorn look crossing her face.]
CASSIE: [Whispers.] What do I know about Tranele, Willow? That she still sings to you.
* * *
[Words on screen: "In 2004, the Revolution WILL be televised."]
[SCENE: Willow and SHEILA ROSENBERG are looking out the window of Willow's mountain tower, surveying the lands below.]
SHEILA: So this place used to be what was known as a hell dimension?
WILLOW: Yeah.
SHEILA: Willow - this looks awfully nice for a hell dimension, dearie.
WILLOW: Yeah. We've done a lot of work to improve it. Even brought in real trees with the help of a dryad. I'd say it's more of a heck dimension now.
SHEILA: [Laughs.] Does that make you the Princess of Insufficient Light, then, sweetie?
WILLOW: [Smiles.] I prefer the title Princess of Twilight myself. It sounds better, and I always did like sunsets.
SHEILA: Willow, honey, you know we really should spend some real time together. I hadn't realized so much had changed for you.
WILLOW: [Looks away and frowns.] Yeah, Mom. Sure. Might be hard though, for the next few months. I'm kind of busy, since I've got a dimension to rule and protect...
SHEILA: Willow!
WILLOW: Make that an oppressed multicultural and multiracial people to liberate, and a newly pristine wilderness to defend against rapacious and reactionary supernatural elites.
SHEILA: [Smiles broadly, pinches Willow's cheeks.] Oh, Willow! That's my little revolutionary!
* * *
[Words on screen: "So, in 2004 clear your schedules... and prepare to join in a fantastic adventure... of several lifetimes." Combine above words with vegematic clip of action sequences from the show.]
[Final clip is of Willow and Tara kissing. (Author's note: Two words - Got Tara.)]
[Slow fade into words on screen: "PRINCESS OF TWILIGHT"]
[SCENE: AMY is engaged in a magical battle with Willow. Amy's hair is standing straight up, her eyes black, her mouth twisted. She screams at Willow.]
AMY: You evil bitch! I'm going to send you to the darkest corner of hell!
WILLOW: Oh, don't scare me! Like that worked _so_ well the last time!
[Words on screen: "FALL 2004"]
[Fade out]
Rowr... meow... (Author's note: Brought to you by ME? Mais, non. Brought to you by HK - "Huge Kitty Productions.")
* * *
And now, on a more serious note: Obnoxious opening and snarky jokes aside, I really am thinking about converting much of the content above into a new fanfiction series, once Buffy officially ends. I have not been happy with the evolution of Season 7, and have been looking for a means to consider many unresolved issues, especially those related to Willow and Spike. The new series would probably be prose (unless y'all really like the abbreviated script format), and yes, it would feature the Willow / Tara relationship (be warned, though, only after a very difficult journey - there is a lot these two characters would have to work through). I would love to hear your thoughts.