Kicked Out

The feeling of betrayal was overwhelming.

It stuck to her body, crawled its way under her skin, resonated in her brain and filled her chest until she felt like it was going to explode.

But most of all, knowing that she was the one to have betrayed them in the first place may hurt even more. She had started this. Even if it was not entirely her fault or her full responsibility, she was the one they chose to blame.

After Mr Schue told her to leave the Glee Club, Santana wandered in the hallways, replaying the scene in her head and trying to understand why things never seemed to go well, and why people didn't like her. Nobody had tried to stick for her. Had it been anyone else, the rest of the club would have shouted injustice; but they had just let it go, let her go, and even if she would never admit it out loud… It hurt. It hurt a lot.

Freaking feelings. She cursed in her head, kicking an empty can on the floor with her foot, and sending it rolling in the hallway with a sound that reminded her of her own loneliness.

She was more implicated in this freaking club than many of the other members. Well, maybe not more than Rachel or Kurt, but she liked the Glee Club, and if she had had the choice, she would have never burnt the purple piano. But they didn't care. They didn't care about her like she cared about them. They didn't care that she had made the bullying stop. That she had made Kurt come back from Dalton – nobody had thanked her for that. They didn't even care that she had stopped Quinn from ruining Nationals for them, only to see Finn and Rachel kill their chances and abruptly end their dream with their stupid kiss. She hated that when they did something wrong, nobody said anything. But if it was her… It was unforgivable.

Would she have burnt the piano if she had known the consequences of her actions? Yes. Because it really was more than a question of allegiance at this point. It was a question of survival.

Because Sue knew. She knew, and it scared the shit out of Santana. Because she knew she couldn't face any of the things the Coach would put in her way if she didn't do what she asked. "Santana… You like playing both sides. Ain't that right? What team do you plan for this year?" The choice of the sentence hadn't been innocent. In fact, its hidden sense hinted at everything Santana was so scared about. Sue knew, and if she didn't do anything she asked her, she would reveal her secret to everybody. And Santana couldn't accept that.

So instead of listening to her feelings – those crappy things – and try to protect the Glee Club, she decided to do what she was asked, and made the Cheerios set fire to the piano. She didn't have the choice.

But still, she felt bad about it.

The aching feelings of rejection and betrayal were still burning in her chest as she kept walking in the hallways, not knowing what to do. Brittany was still in Glee Club, and she was her ride home; even if she hadn't stood up for her – which she was grateful for because she didn't want Brittany to have to stop dancing in Glee because of her mistake – she just couldn't leave her here. So she decided to wait.

A few muffled sounds were coming out of the auditorium, and she silently opened the door that led to the balcony.

Really? You can't stay away, can you?

She was surprised when she saw that someone was already here, watching the performance going on on stage. Even more surprised when she saw the highly recognizable pink locks of hair of the girl silently leaning on the balcony.

Quinn.

The girl hadn't noticed her presence yet, and was deeply concentrated on the performance. From her place, Santana could see the other members of the Glee Club – plus the newly added member Blaine – all dressed in purple, dancing and singing like they didn't care that two of their ex-members, who had been here from the very beginning, were not on stage with them.

Quinn's shoulder shook slightly, and Santana knew her well enough to guess that she was trying not to cry. She had to admit that she herself would if she allowed the tears to come rolling on her cheeks. Even if the main difference between her and Quinn was that the decision of going back on this stage wasn't hers... Quinn was free to go back whenever she wanted to; but Santana knew she wouldn't do it yet, even if it would eventually happen.

She slowly walked to take the place beside Quinn, not saying anything and letting just enough space between the two of them. After all, Quinn had implicitly told her earlier that day that they weren't friends any more.

She was surprised when she felt a hand find hers and squeeze it like she needed strength. She didn't look at Quinn, but squeezed in return.

Neither of them talked. Quinn didn't ask her why she wasn't with the others, and Santana didn't ask why she didn't want to join them. They just stayed here, watching their friends rehearse until the end of the song. Then they let go each other's hand, and separated without having spoken any word.

Maybe the Unholy Trinity wasn't broken yet.

A/N: Did you like it? I just had a lot of feelings after Santana got kicked out and needed to get them out of my chest... Tell me what you think!