…Hey.

If I sound less than enthusiastic today, it's because I don't want to tell this story. It's boring and, to put it quite frankly, stupid. The only reason I'm telling it is because I lost a bet with God.

What's the story about? And what did we make a bet over?

..Just shut up and listen.

Sorry. I'm really not happy that I have to tell you about this. Anyway, a long, long, long time ago, before I'd even heard about Enoch and before the Grigori were even thinking about Falling, I was bored, since I didn't have anything to do at the moment. God hadn't given me any orders, and there wasn't anything new and interesting to do on Earth. And since Michael was preparing for some boring, useless Council meeting in a little room, I thought I'd kill two swans with one stone and go play with him for a little while. Thankfully, I knew the way Michael usually set up his workrooms (a large table in the middle and a chair right behind the door), so it wasn't hard to figure out how I could best pop in and surprise him. And since just teleporting in didn't seem like it was enough to really shock him, I decided to summon my wings so that I could just teleport in his lap and bury his face in them.

..You can probably tell where this is going by now. I warned you that this story was dumb. For once, I won't hold it against you if you decide to stop reading. Or listening. But, since God ordered me to, I'll continue. I really don't get that guy sometimes though..

Anyway, I teleported onto Michael's lap, and..we both squawked in surprise. The reason he squawked should be obvious by now. The reason I squawked was because, even though sitting in Michael's lap felt nice, his face buried in and breathing against my wings felt..weird. I can't put it any better than that. It wasn't completely unpleasant, but it was definitely odd, and it wasn't something I planned for either. I should probably mention at this point that I had never had anyone else touch my wings before, and whenever I myself had touched them, they hadn't felt like this. Since I was panicked and caught off guard, all I could do as I tried to get ahold of myself was gasp like a drowning fish as my wings twitched, flapped, and knocked against poor Michael, who was, sadly, the first to recover. Once he got over his surprise and saw that I was panicking for some reason, he quickly switched to his spiritual body, slipped out of the chair, and just stood beside it, which gave me a couple of minutes to calm down as he spoke, a worried look on his face, like he'd accidentally sat down on the family cat.

"Lucifel, are you alright?! What's wrong? I'm sorry I didn't move faster. I didn't expect you to teleport into my lap." It would be a strange world if Michael didn't state the obvious from time to time. Not that I told him he was. I was more preoccupied with calming down and tossing this weird, semi-nice, unwanted feeling in the garbage, which took me a couple of minutes, but I was eventually able to quickly reply back, all the while wishing that God would just turn back time by Himself for me.

"I'm…I'm alright, Michael. Nothing's wrong. There was just less space in that chair than I thought there was, so I managed to startle myself too."

"Alright..let me look at your wings, though. I know you said you feel fine, but Raphael told me awhile ago that physical bodies can still be severely injured even if their owners are not in pain, so I just want to check and make sure you are alright." If this had been any other Angel, I probably would have told them to take a hike, but..I didn't want to worry Michael or make him feel like something was up, even if that feeling was strange and unwanted. So, I turned around so that I could sit backwards in the chair and tried to give Michael a normal, teasing little smile.

"Both you and God are turning into the biggest worrywarts. I'm pretty sure I'm fine, but if it'll make you happy, you're free to take a look at my wings."

"Thank you, Lucifel. I'll try not to take too long." I wanted to tell him that he could take as much time as he wanted, but, at that moment, he gently started to brush his fingers over my wings, and I had to bite down hard on my lip and ball my hands into fists so that a little squeak wouldn't slip out of my mouth and so that my wings wouldn't twitch in his hands. I honestly have no idea how long he looked me over. I was really more focused on not looking at Michael's face, since if he saw how I looked then, he would have really been worried, as I kept twisting and balling up my hands and reassuring Michael that I really was feeling okay and that his touches didn't hurt. Of course, I didn't tell him the truth. I didn't want to let him know that every little brush and gentle press of his fingers almost made my wings twitch and made me feel uncomfortable and nice at the same time. Like my wings were up against a hot pad that was a bit too warm.

He wouldn't have understood what a hot pad was anyway.

Anyway, eventually, he finished his examination and, seeing that my wings really weren't hurt, he pulled his hands away, and I quickly tried to look relaxed and composed as he rose and moved to the back of the chair so that he could look at my face and give me a gentle smile. I swear, you could use that smile to power a lighthouse. "Thank you for letting me examine your wings, Lucifel. I know you said that I'm turning into a worry-wart and that you were perfectly fine, but it's difficult to know sometimes, especially with all the practical jokes you like to play on me."

"You've really gotta stop worrying so much. I'm not going to hurt myself just by teasing you a little bit. I do think these things through from time to time. Besides, if I stopped, you'd have no one else to distract you from boring Council paperwork." I teased, trying to force myself to calm down as I gave Michael a smile in return.

"They might seem a little tedious to you, Lucifel," Michael replied, still smiling, "but they help everything go a bit more smoothly, especially when we have big plans."

"Which you don't right now."

"That's true, but it just means that if I don't get everything finished, the meeting will take a lot longer than it should. Now..did you come here to help? Or just to give me a breather?"

"I just came here to bother you for a little while. I love you, Michael, but I really don't have any interest in dealing with unnecessary paperwork. I've gotta do something on Earth anyway. Later." And with that, I snapped my fingers, but instead of going down to Earth like I said I would, I went back in time, before this whole mess got started.

What? You weren't really expecting me to just live on, knowing that Michael had seen me embarrass myself accidentally, were you? Sure, he didn't know that I did, but that's not important. What is is that I knew, and I didn't want to keep going in a timeline where that incident occurred. Now, I've gotta go. For once, I'd prefer it if you didn't remember what I said, but, if you don't, keep my secret to yourselves if you want to live a long, healthy, prosperous life.

Why, yes, that is a threat. Your skills of observation are just wonderful. Just remember my warning, and you'll be fine. And I'll be really ticked off if you tell Michael, so I wouldn't tell him either.

See ya.