"Sarsaparilla, I'm home!" called Jackson from the doorway.
"Hey, Jackson. Could you do me a favor?" Sarsaparilla asked her brother, "could you watch Alanna while I go shopping with my bestest friend in the whole wide world named Tober?"
"Sure, sis. Anything for you." Sarsaparilla smiled at her brother's freakish comment. It was getting a little too Flowers in the Attic-ish for her, so she decided it was time to leave. As she was walking to the subway, she thought about how horny her brother must be that he was almost hitting on his own sister. She cringed at the thought.
Meanwhile, back at home, Jackson and Alanna were watching their favorite movie in the whole wide world: Newsies, uh, doy-doy! They had gotten up to the part right before the nuns come onto the screen where Crutchy has a little solo and then a pelvic thrust when Jackson almost has an orgasm because he was so turned on by such a sexy beast…at least in his point of view (which is weird because they look a lot alike).
"I gotta get me a Crutchy," Jackson mumbled to himself while Alanna was busy singing along with the nuns. He went online so that he could look at pictures of Crutchy and his hott dog Cleo and he found out that Marty Belafsky was living in New York City right near his house! "O-M-G! The love of my life is living two blocks away from me! I must get ready to go visit him!"
"But this isn't Outsider-ish enough, they need to be tighter," Tober commented on the black straight-leg boy's jeans she was trying on, "How come they don't make tight pants for boys?"
"I dunno," said Sarsaparilla, "But they should."
"Yes," Tober said with finality.
"I don't think this store is good for Outsiders. Maybe we should go to that thrift store near my house. It's much cooler."
"Yeah, that sounds good. Let's go." They left the store and walked to 78th street where the thrift store was. On their way, it started to snow. Tober was reminded of that part in RENT where in the song they said, 'Kiss me, it's beginning to snow,' and was tempted to say it but decided against it because she was not in fact a lesbian and didn't really wish to kiss her friend. (A/N: I'm obsessed with Rent it's so amazing!)
"But why do you have to go? Aren't you supposed to be watching me?" whined the baby of the family, Alanna, who was, and is, obsessed with knights and harry potter.
"This is an opportunity of a lifetime. Why would I miss it because of my stupid little sister?"
"Because you love me?"
"Well, I love Crutchy more, so you can just sit tight until I get back." Jackson put on his hat and gloves and closed the door to the apartment. He ran down the three flights of stairs and stepped out into the cold winter air and began is adventure to meet his heartthrob, Crutchy.