INT. ANTON'S APARTMENT – EARLY EVENING
DEB and ANTON are in the kitchen. Anton is taking some brownies out of the oven.
DEB
(reaching for brownies)
Mmmmm . . . those smell fucking amazing!
ANTON
Uh, I wouldn't if I were you.
DEB
Why not? Wait . . . those aren't what I think they are. Are they? Anton . . .
ANTON
What? They're for the band.
DEB
So you thought you guys were all going to get high in front of me and I wouldn't notice? Jesus, Anton . . . you know what? Fuck it. We need to get to the store before people start showing up.
There is a knock at door
DEB
Crap, it's Dexter. What's he doing here so early?
Deb opens the door. DEXTER is on the doorstep holding a six-pack and a bag of chips.
DEXTER
Hey.
DEB
Jesus, Dex, you're an hour early!
DEXTER
You said "eightish."
DEB
Yeah, but it's 7:15.
DEXTER
That's eight-ish.
DEB
(exasperated)
Whatever. Anton and I have to run to the store. Just make yourself at home.
DEXTER
Okey dokey.
Deb and Anton leave. Dexter wanders over to the kitchen counter and spots the brownies. He hesitates for a moment, then gives in and starts stuffing his face.
DEXTER
(V.O.)
Deb won't mind. The brownies are for guests and I'm a guest, right? Good thing the Code of Harry doesn't say anything about snack food. And after all, Iam a sociopath. It's not like I can help myself.
Dexter chuckles to himself and helps himself to another brownie.
INT. ANTON'S APARTMENT - ONE HOUR LATER
Deb and Anton come in with their arms full of ice, beer and other last-minute party supplies. Dexter is sitting in front of the TV with a glazed expression.
DEB
Damnit, I can't believe we forgot toilet paper. Remember what happened last time?
ANTON
Don't remind me. What's up, Dexter? Sorry we were gone so long.
DEXTER
(spacily)
I like this show.
DEB
God, Anton, Pabst Blue Ribbon? Who drinks this shit?
DEXTER
I think the blue one might be gay.
DEB
What the fuck . . . ?
Deb crosses the room to see what Dexter is watching
DEB
Are you watching the Teletubbies? What the fucking fuck?
ANTON
Hey! Who ate all the brownies?
DEB
Don't look at me . . .
(then, as the realization dawns on her)
. . . oh shit. Dexter? Did you eat those brownies that were on the counter?
DEXTER
Huh? Oh, those. Sorry, I was hungry.
Dexter begins to giggle, as Deb begins to freak out.
DEB
Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh fuck. Shit. Fuck.
ANTON
What?
DEXTER
What?
DEB
(yelling)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WHAT?" LOOK AT HIM ANTON, HE'S STONED! My BROTHER is STONED! As in, HIGH ON ILLEGAL DRUGS!!! FUCK!!!!!
DEXTER
Ow, quit yelling.
ANTON
(laughing)
Hey, I didn't tell him to eat them. They were for the band. And they were expensive!
DEXTER
(suddenly paranoid)
I gotta get out of here.
Dexter gets up and slips out the door as Anton and Deb continue to argue.
DEB
You think this is funny?
ANTON
Well, yeah.
EXT. PARKING LOT BEHIND ANTON'S BUILDING – NIGHT
Dexter is staggering around the parking lot, stoned out of his mind.
DEXTER
(V.O.)
What the hell is going on? I feel kind of . . .
. . . funny . . .
He notices HARRY leaning against a car, wearing a tie-dye T-shirt and smoking an enormous bong.
DEXTER
Dad? What is this? What's happening?
HARRY
You're stoned, you idiot.
DEXTER
What? How?!
HARRY
The brownies? Anton's brownies?
DEXTER
Oh.
HARRY
I'd advise you to just go with it.
DEXTER
"Go with it"?! I'm a control freak, I don't "go with" things.
HARRY:
Okay, then. Good luck with that.
Harry laughs and disappears.
DEXTER
(sarcastic, bitter)
"Go with it." What is that even supposed to mean? Gee, thanks, Dad. (pause) Fucking Anton.
Just then Dexter notices a cat. He gets a predatory gleam in his eye.
DEXTER
Here, kitty kitty . . .
The cat takes one look at Dexter and flees in terror down an alleyway. Dexter follows. As he disappears down the alley, Deb comes down the stairs. She doesn't see Dexter.
DEB
DEXTER! Where the fuck is he? I'm gonna KILL Anton . . .
EXT. BUSINESS DISTRICT – NIGHT
Dexter is stumbling down the sidewalk, trying to clear his head.
DEXTER
(V.O.)
Where the hell am I? How long does this stuff last, anyway? I've got to come down eventually, right? Maybe if I just keep walking. God, I hate this. I can't believe people do this for fun . . . . . . wow . . . . my feet are really . . . . big . . . and is the sidewalk really squishy, or is it the drugs? And who am I talking to, anyway?
A police car drives by, taking no notice of Dexter.
DEXTER
(paranoid)
SHIT! They can see me! They KNOW! FUCK!!!!
Dexter ducks into a video store.
INT. DEB'S CAR – NIGHT
Deb and Anton are out looking for Dexter.
ANTON
Come on, Deb, I'm sure your brother can take care of himself. What is he, retarded?
DEB
You don't understand. Dexter has never been high in his life.
ANTON
No shit? I just kind of assumed that he must have done his share of tripping back in the day.
DEB
What's that supposed to mean?
ANTON
I don't know if you've noticed, but he's kind of weird. Hey, is that him?
DEB
Yeah. Finally!
STORE-NIGHT
Dexter is standing in front of a display featuring horror movies like the "Saw" series, "Hostel" etc. Dexter is enthralled by the gory images.
DEXTER
. . . wow . . . cool . . .
Deb and Anton come up behind him.
DEB
Uh . . . Dexter?
DEXTER
(casually)
Oh, hey Deb. What are you doing here?
This irritates Deb, who tries to conceal her annoyance.
DEB
(as if she's speaking to a child)
We brought you donuts. But you have to get in the car to get them.
DEXTER
Donuts . . . I like donuts.
DEB
Okay, then, let's go.
DEXTER
Wait . . .
DEB
(trying to control herself)
What now?
DEXTER
I want to rent some movies.
DEB
WHAT!? You're fucking kidding, right?
DEXTER'S P.O.V.
Deb's eyes are glowing red, as her head spins around 360 degrees and she bellows in a demonic voice:
DEMONIC DEB
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
Dexter's eyes widen in terror and he looks like he's going to bolt again. Anton sees this and intervenes.
ANTON
You want to rent some movies? That's cool. We can watch them at the party. What do you have in mind?
INT. VIDEO STORE – TWENTY MINUTES LATER
Dexter, Deb and Anton are at the video counter. Dexter has a pile of horror movies. Deb is seething with impatience.
DEXTER
(confused)
Account? I need an account?
VIDEO CLERK
We can open one for you now, if you like. Do you have a credit card and ID?
DEXTER
(fumbling with his wallet, too stoned to deal)
Uhhhhhhh . . . .
DEB
Oh for fucks's sake. This is all your fault Anton, YOU rent the fucking movies.
DEXTER
God, Deb, you're so uptight.
ANTON
(amused, to Dexter)
I know, right?
Anton is thoroughly enjoying the situation, which only adds to Deb's annoyance.
DEB
I should just fucking arrest you both.
This alarms Dexter. He stares at his sister in horror as his paranoia returns in full force.
DEB
Come on, Dex, let's go wait in the car.
DEXTER
(shaking his head)
I don't wanna get in the car.
DEB
What is it now?!
ANTON
(soothingly, to Dexter)
But we have donuts. Tell you what, Deb will rent the movies and we'll go eat us some donuts.
DEXTER
(dubiously)
Well . . . alright, then . . .
Dexter follows Anton to the car, casting suspicious looks at his sister. Deb is left at the counter with an annoyed video clerk and a huge stack of DVDs.
DEB
Assholes.
INT. ANTON'S APARTMENT – LATE NIGHT
Dexter is back in front of the TV, surrounded by empty beer bottles and junk food. Bloodcurdling screams are emanating from the TV. ANTON'S BANDMATES are glaring resentfully at Dexter, and several PARTY GUESTS are eyeing him nervously as he sits giggling maniacally and cheering on the action on the screen. None of the dozen or so guests appreciates Dexter's choice of entertainment.
DEXTER
YEAAAAHHHHH!!!
(turning to woman sitting next to him)
Isn't this great?
The WOMAN looks disturbed and moves away.
Deb and Anton are in the kitchen.
ANTON
Has anyone seen my cat?
DEB
No.
ANTON
She's probably just hiding. You know how cats are.
DEB
Actually, I don't know. We never had any pets growing up.
ANTON
Really? Why not?
DEB
You don't want to know.
Dexter's phone rings. Deb picks it up.
DEB
Oh shit, it's Rita. Better not let her talk to Dexter. (answers phone)
Hello? Oh hey Rita, how was your work thing? Yeah he's here, he's just, um, in the bathroom.
Just then DEXTER lets loose with a loud whoop from the living room.
DEXTER
YEAAHHHHH!!!! KILL HIM!!!!!!!!
DEB
No, that was one of Anton's friends. They're watching, uh, hockey or something. Listen, Dexter's had a little too much to drink tonight, I think he should just crash here. No, no, no! Don't come get him. It's no problem, really.
(rushing)
OkaySeeYouTomorrow,Bye!
DEB hangs up the phone.
DEB
Jesus, that was close.
Another burst of noise from the living room, consisting of the sounds of chainsaws, screaming, and demented cackling from Dexter.
DEB
God, I wish he'd hurry up and pass out already.
ANTON
You know, I'm starting to think that your brother isn't quite right.
DEB
Well no shit, Sherlock.
DEXTER
(shouting, from living room)
Hey, do we have any more donuts?