I don't own SpongeBob or SSB. This came in my head when I was going to Penn State in Pennsylvania a few years back! This is a complete and total rewrite and redo. KRUSTY KRAB PIZZA IS THE PIZZA FOR YOU AND...MMEEEEEMMEEEMMEEEE!
It was about 12:45 AM when Meta Knight was watching Kirby still cleaning up the tables. Meta Knight was falling asleep while Kirby was wide awake.
"Hurry up on those tables, Kirby." Meta Knight complained. "It's after curfew. And I want to go to sleep." As he said that, the phone started ringing.
"I got it! I got it! Coming!" Kirby tried to answer the phone but Meta Knight beat him to it.
"Hello?" Meta Knight answered. Kirby fell on the ground while he was defying the laws of gravity. Apparently, the guy that was calling, wanted food. "Sorry sir. Wrong num-"
Princess Peach had taken the phone away from sleepy knight of Dreamland. "Hello, Smash Brothers Residence." She greeted with a smile. The person that was calling asked for a pizza pie. "Pizza? Of course we have pizza!"
Meta Knight tried to stop the Mushroom Kingdom Princess. "Uh...Peachy..."
"...Our delivery knight will bring it to you." Peach finished as Meta Knight's eyes widened with disbelief.
"Peach, we're not a restaurant. We don't even serve pizza." Meta Knight protests. Peach held a sandwich, turning it into a pizza, putting it in a pizza box. Who knows how this is possible? "We don't deliver."
"We don't deliver, but you do!" Peach said enthusiastically, handing the confused knight the pizza box.
"Can't you get Kirby to do it?" Meta Knight asked, not wanting to the job that Peach asked, sounding tired as a zombie back from the dead.
"Great idea! Take him with you along with your friends!" Peach said, oblivious to what Meta Knight asked. Kirby went to wake up Greninja, Lucario, Pikachu, and Sonic as he walked next to him.
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND!" Meta Knight yelled. But Peach already walked away.
"Let's get this over with so we can go back to sleep..." Greninja muttered as they were walking to the car.
Kirby being Kirby, he wanted to do a safety inspection of the car. "Run end! Check! Antenna!" Kirby announced as he flicked the antenna. "Check!" He pointed to the bumper. "Bumper! Check!" He bent down to the bumper sticker that said 'I Brake for Star Warriors.' "Bumper sticker. Check!" He went to the tire let the pressure in him. "Tire Pressure!" Meta Knight and the others were surprised that Kirby could inhale all that air as he let it all out on Sonic's face, going back to his normal size. "Check. Vehicle inspection complete! We're really making history here, guys! That lucky customer is gonna get the first Smash Brothers Pizza ever! :)"
"Great," Greninja started, putting her tongue over her face. "Then you drive."
"Greninja, you know that I'm still in driving school." Kirby protests to Greninja.
"Kirby, it's just around the corner." Sonic said, taking out his blue 3DS, knowing that this was gonna be a long night."Even I can get the faster than the pace that we're going."
"Well, yeah. But..." Kirby stutters.
"Just do what you do in school." Lucario said, placing his paws on the back of his head.
"That seems easy enough." Kirby said. He was ready and then he got confused while the others were waiting on him. "Wait don't tell me..."He was scratching his head.
"Back it up." Lucario plainly said.
"What?"
"Back it up."
"Right. Back it up." Kirby said as he tried to shift to reverse.
"BACK IT UP!" Everyone yelled screaming at Kirby.
"Okay, okay." Kirby said.
"Shift into reverse, Kirby." Meta Knight said as he raised his voice.
"Reverse? Oh yeah, Reverse." Kirby said as he looked at the joystick and thought that it said it in Chinese.
"BACK IT UP!" Everyone yelled again. This time, Kirby pulled the joystick.
"BACKING UP! BACKING UP!" Kirby yelled as they started to go backwards. But he didn't pull back the joystick.
"Give me the wheel, Kirby. Give me the wheel!" Greninja cried out, trying to take control of the steering wheel but man, that puffball of pink had a really tight grip.
"Backing up, backing up," Kirby said. Out of nowhere, they hit rocks."BAAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKIIIINNGGG UP!" As they were backing up, the car started to spin in circles as it hit a stray rock.
A few hours later, the sun was rising as Kirby and the others kept on backing up, taking them to the middle of literally nowhere. "Backing up, backing up, backing up, backing up..." Kirby repeated as the car ran out of gas. "Backing up."
"Well, you backed up." Meta Knight said after a few seconds of silence.
"And you know what? I think we're out of gas." Pikachu pointed out, looking at the gas fuel meter that said the tank was empty.
"And, you know what else? WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!"
Kirby came up to Greninja, who had her hand on her forehead. "And you know what else else?" The pink Star Warrior held up the pizza to the annoyed Ninja Pokémon, trying not to make everyone more mad than they already were. "I think the pizza's getting cold."
Making a stupid 'what' face, Sonic put his hands to his head in sarcastic type of surprise. "And the pizza's cold! Oh chaos, the pizza's cold. Not the pizza. Sweet Tikal, could this day get any worse!?" The blue hedgehog went to car, kicked it, and, coincidentally, the gas meter went from 'empty' to more than half full and with no one in the car, it took off, leaving the six smashers stranded.
A few seconds of silence after watching the car drive away later, Kirby turned around to the other five stunned smashers. "Well… we can always deliver it by foot."
"Ow, ow, ow."
"The Super Smash Bros pizza is the pizza for you and me~ The Super Smash Bros pizza is the pizza-" Kirby sang as he led the line of tired smashers. The view went to their feet and paws, stopping at Lucario's.
"And my paws are kill-ing me…" Lucario complained, not bothering to realize that he sang along. The Aura Pokémon and the others, except Greninja, fell to the ground when Kirby put himself on his side on the ground. "Kirby, what in the name of Palkia and Dialga are you doing?"
"It's an old pioneer trick. Greninja and I saw it in a movie once." Kirby explained.
The said Pokémon sighed. "Kirby. I remember watching that movie till I fell asleep. Besides, this is no time for-"
Kirby shushed her, indicating that he heard something or someone. "Shh! It's working!"
"Well then, don't leave us hanging. What is it?" Pikachu asked, stepping up.
Kirby grabbed Pikachu and showed him what the pink Star Warrior heard. "Truck! Sixteen wheels!" He exclaimed happily. Coincidentally, a truck with sixteen wheels was coming down the road. Kirby gave the pizza to Meta Knight to hold, wanting to show them how it was done. "Now I can show you how the pioneers hitchhiked."
Kirby walked to the middle of the road with a cowboy hat on as he was making weird sounds accompanied by a very strange dance. Meta Knight was playing the spoons as the others either face palmed or stared at Kirby in disbelief. He kept on dancing weirdly until he caught the attention of the driver, who was a male Mii with a green shirt. "Crashin', frashin', breakdancer!" He honked his horn, signaling that he was coming.
The smashers looked at the truck with glee, thinking that they found their ticket out of here. "He's stopping! He's stopping!" Sonic cried happily. That's before he saw the speeding truck that was trying to slow down. The blue blur pushed Kirby out of the way before the puffball got hurt, which also resulted a pile of dirt being splashed on them. Sonic glared at Kirby while he just smiled.
Somewhere else that was super windy, Kirby, Sonic, Meta Knight, Greninja, Pikachu and Lucario were trying to outdo the powerful wind while Kirby held the pizza box. "The Super Smash Bros pizza is the pizza for you and me~ The Super Smash Bros pizza is the pizza free deliv-ery~ The Super Smash Bros pizza is the pizza, very ta-sty~-" Kirby sang while Meta Knight's winged cape kept on making his wings appear which made him fly backwards. This kept on happening until the masked puffball grabbed his cape and put it around him. When Kirby stopped singing, it was because the wind was taking him away with the pizza in his hands above his head.
Everyone became very frustrated. They've been walking for who knows how long with little progress and Kirby still would not let go of that pizza. "Will you let go of that Nova forsaken stupid pizza already?!" Meta Knight yelled over the wind as Kirby was blown to another direction.
"I can't. It's for our customer!" Kirby yelled back.
"Who cares about the customer?!" Sonic yelled the second time.
"I do!"
"Well, I don't!" Pikachu confessed.
All the wind came to a screeching halt with Kirby in it, as if it was giving him the moment to scold at his friends. He gasped. "Min'na!" The puffball scolded in Japanese. When he finished saying that, the wind came back to toss Kirby as if he was a baseball.
Greninja was starting to get mad; they wanted to call it a day and not go to the Arceus-forsaken customer as she was preparing to catch Kirby. "Give us the pizza, Kirby or I'll be forced to fight you!" She missed epicly as Kirby hit her head.
"No!"
The wind caused Kirby to hit, this time Sonic's head, but he managed to grab onto Kirby's feet. Everyone else held on to his shoulders. "Kirby, do as Greninja says and let go of the pizza!"
"No, Sonic! It's for the customer!" Kirby yelled defiantly. Man, now Sonic knew why Kirby was very persistent.
"Kirby! Be reasonable!" Lucario yelled. His eyes shrunk when he saw a tornado out of nowhere. "Give us the pizza!"
"No!"
"Kirby!" Meta Knight yelled as they went inside the tornado. He looked down and saw that he and the gang were practically miles above the ground. "HANG ON TO THE PIZZA!" The tornado soon, quite literally, spit the smashers out as the started falling, save for Meta Knight and Kirby who had wings and natural puffiness. Everyone else hit the ground with a hard landing except for the two Star Warriors.
Sonic was the first to get up, rubbing his hurt head. "Is everyone alright? That was a pretty nasty fall we all took." Everyone else muttered in agreement, meaning that they were okay. He looked around, starting to panic. "Hey, where's the road? Where's the road?!" A tumbleweed passed by, signaling that they were still in the middle of nowhere, this time, with no road. "We're doomed! Oh chaos, where's the road?! What do we do?! Where do we go?! There's no road here!"
Kirby turned the opposite direction of where the blue hedgehog was and pointed to his direction. "I think town's this way." Kirby suggested and he had Greninja, with Pikachu on her shoulder, go to him.
"Don't tell me, Jethro Kirby. The pioneers?" Greninja asked, using a pioneer name with Kirby's.
"That's right. Greninja, Lucario, and Pikachu, you three practically live in the forest. Moss always points to civilization." Kirby said, pointing to a rock that had two halves; my right had moss, my left had nothing.
Lucario came up to the pink puffball, a bit skeptical. "That way? That way there?" He asked as Kirby nodded his head with a squeaking sound. "So let me get this straight; you think that we should go that way?"
"Yep."
Meta Knight turned around in the opposite direction, signaling that he was going the other way. "Well then, I'm going this way." The masked indigo puffball walked in the other direction, opposite of what Kirby told him.
Kirby realized that and tried to stop him. "Wha?! Meta Knight, wait! I don't think-"
"Kirby, I used to be part of the Galaxy Soldier Army of Star Warriors. I know where I'm going!" Meta Knight reassured. Behind them was a city, like Kirby predicted. Meta Knight turned to Greninja, who was glaring at him. "What?"
"You do realize what you just did right?" The Ninja Pokémon asked, not expecting an answer. "Thanks to you, we all get the pleasure of hearing Kirby talk more!"
Meta Knight pondered on this revelation, then, you can't see it, his amber eyes went wide. "Great Nova, have mercy on our souls...and ears."
As they kept on walking, Kirby decided to pass the time...with a little song. Thankfully, his rapping was better than his singing. "The Super Smash Bros pizza is the pizza absolutivaly!" This when he started rapping...using the pizza box as if it was a turntable.
"Ba ba ba pizza co co cling cling tish pizza" He stated moving his backside as if it was dancing to his 'sick' beat. "...do do dugga da da pizza du dodugga ding.."
Then, to everyone's annoyance, he stated singing as if it was soul music. "SUPER SMAAASHAAASHHAAASSHH BROS PIZZA IS THE PIZZA, YEAH, FOR YOU AND..." He put his body on the pizza box, as if he wanted to give a dramatic pause. "MEEEEEMEEEEMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Kirby startled everyone with that, making them a bit peeved.
What seemed like hours later, the six smashers became slower, even Sonic, mainly because they became hungry. Soon enough, all of them were face first in the ground, completely and utterly exhausted. This was after Kirby stopped singing, only letting out incoherent mutters. Meta Knight raised his head, or body, up to grab Kirby's. "Kirby...we've got to eat something."
Kirby let out a sigh on the ground, making a dirt cloud. "I heard in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat tree bark." Out of nowhere, he pulled out tree bark and, surprisingly, Pikachu was munching on it. "Wait, hold on...maybe it wasn't tree bark." Pikachu heard this and spit out the tree bark. "Maybe it was dirt, no grass..."
"Give us the Arceus forsaken pizza!" Pikachu demanded, losing his patience and gaining the appetite for the pizza.
Kirby held the pizza to his body, pratically squishing it. "Wait, I remember now! It was tree bark!"
Greninja, as hungry as she was, was about to pounch on the pink puffball. "Give us the pizza! And if you hand it over calmly, we'll split it!"
"No! We all promised that it was for the customer!" Kirby argued once more. Meta Knight came to the pink Star Warrior with an unnoticable calm expression, acting as if he 'completely' agreed with Kirby.
The masked puffball moved his body, making a nod. "Kirby is right. We all promised that it only for the customer to consume." Everyone else looked at Meta Knight as if he was crazy, but followed what he was doing once they realized that Kirby was more naive than they already anticipated.
"Yeah..."
Sonic moved up closer to the pizza box, a plan in mind. "Maybe we all should 'check' on it," He winked when he said 'check', but Kirby was still clueless. "make sure it's A-Okay..."
"Well..." Kirby was a bit unsure about this...
Lucario dared himself to try to at least open the box. "Just a small peek..." Before he could, however, the pink puffball with a black hole for a stomach quickly closed it in fear.
"Okay! It's fine!" He said quickly.
Greninja softly did a fake gasp. "Hold on, I think I saw something." With a crap ton of luck, she opened the box to reveal a pizza with pepperoni and olives. "Wait. I was wrong, looks okay."
All of them hovered over the pizza with an unknown light on their faces. "Sure is a fine looking pizza..." Lucario purred with dreamy eyes like everyone else.
"Yeah..." Kirby droned.
Pikachu, now on Sonic's shoulder, pointed at the pizza. "What is that? Is that the cheese?" He asked, hearing Kirby's stomach grumble loudly.
"Yeah..."
Meta Knight unknowingly smirked at Kirby, who was licking his lips, very very hungry. "Ooh. Looks good, doesn't it, Hoshi no Kaabii?"
As if to torture their hungry stomachs even more, the pizza, somehow someway, twinkled twice. Then right there, Kirby realized what they were all doing. He gasped in realization, having it all figured out. "Wait a minute! I know what all of you are doing. I'M NOT LETTING YOU GUYS EAT THE PIZZA!"
"Give to us, Kirby! And for the love of Nova, we promise we'll share it!" Meta Knight yelled back.
"No!"
"Don't make me take it away, Baka no Kaabii!"
"GET AWAY!"
Kirby started to run offscreen with Meta Knight hot on his trail, meanwhile the others either sat down or sprawled out on the groud, deciding to at least make theselves comfortable while these two puffballs from Planet Popstar kept on chasing each other like Tom and Jerry, cat and mouse. "GET BACK HERE KIRBY! GIVE US THE PIZZA!" Meta Knight yelled once more.
"NO!"
"KIRBY!"
"NO!"
Meta Knight, exhausted from hunger, began to slump and slow down, practically speed walking. "Kirby...!"
"NO!"
Then the masked puffball warrior stopped, trying to catch his breath but failed since his stomach was on empty still. "W...wait..." But Kirby kept on running as if Meta Knight was still behind him.
"NO!"
Going in another direction... "NO!" Before heading back to the group only to trip on Pikachu's tail. "No!" He landed on his back, resulting to face Meta Knight and Pikachu who was standing on the verteran Star Warrior.
"We want that freaking pizza, Kirby. You're gonna hand it over one way or another." Pikachu's red sack cheeks started sparking with electricity, making Kibry shiver and tremble with fright. Looking to his right, he saw...something.
"Look, guys. We're saved!" Kirby claimed, but no one was buying it.
"Yeah, yeah sure, we're saved. NOW GIVE US SOME PIZZA!" Greninja demanded.
Kirby stood up, put down the pizza before jumping for joy. "No really, guys! We're saved! We're saved! We're saved! We're saved!"
Lucario groaned, his ears having enough already. "Will you cut that out?!"
With conga music from who knows where, Kirby started to dance weirdly again. "Saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved! Sa-sa-sa-sa-sa saved!" How he did it, I have no idea, but he split in half like a piece of gelatin and went back together. "Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Yeah, we are saved~" He ran up to what looked like a giant freaking boulder in the middle of nowhere and three out of five of them face palmed.
"Kirby, come on! That's just a dumb boulder!" Sonic called out.
"It's not just a boulder!" Kirby said, tears coming to his eyes and he put his stubby arms on the boulder, as if he was giving it a hug. "It's rock. A rock! A ro-o-o-ck!" Everyone else looked at him as if he was more stupid than he already was.
"Why is he in our group again?" Greninja asked no one in particular, not even expecting an answer.
The pink Star Warrior began to, somehow, climb the supposed 'rock' and manage to get to the top. "It's a big, beautiful, old rock! Oh, the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles on end! And it's in great shape." Kirby sat down at the top and patted its flat top.
"Kirby! Forget the dumb pioneers! Ever notice that there are none of them left?" Meta Knight yelled. "All because they were lousy hitchhickers, ate tree bark, and took directions from moss! And now you're telling us, they thought they could drive!-" The masked puffball was interrupted when he and everyone were flattened like pancakes from...Kirby...driving the damn rock. "Rocks..."
Recovering quickly as it was their second nature, all five of them ran after it. "HOLD ON THERE, JETHRO KIRBY!" All of them yelled.
Back in town, Kirby parked the rock in front of the customer's house, ready to deliver the pizza he or she ordered. Finally, it will be done. "I can't wait to see the look on our first customer's face." He said, hopping down the rock and rang the doorbell and a male Mii with a red shirt on answered the door, looking down at Kirby. "Congratulations, sir. Your Super Smash Bros. Pizza is here! :)" The puffball gave the Mii the pizza box who had a smile on his face. So far, so good.
"Thank you so much, I've dying for one of these. It..." The customer paused, feeling like something was missing from all of this. so, he asked the fatal question. "Where's my drink?"
Kirby was now confused. Drink? He didn't hear about a drink. "What drink?" His smile was faltering. Not good.
Now the Mii was angry. "My drink? My diet Dr. Mango?! D-Don't tell me you forgot my drink!" Kirby was checking the order slips again, making sure he didn't miss anything. It said nothing about a drink.
"But you didn't order any..." Kirby tried to explain.
"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS PIZZA WITHOUT MY DRINK?!" The Mii yelled, making Kirby's eyes tear up and lips quiver. "Did you even once think of the customer? You call yourself a Delivery Smasher, WELL I AIN'T BUYING!" The other were watching it play out, flinching when the customer slammed the door in Kirby's once happy face. Poor thing. Greninja and Meta Knight jumped down from the rock, looking at Kirby's shaking self.
"Kirby? It's okay. Kirby?" Greninja asked softly, before Kirby fell on the ground face first and started crying. His tears making a puddle in the middle of the street and decreased in size every time his inhaled. She knelt down to his height and began rubbing his back out of sympathy.
"Kirby?" Meta Knight asked, the pink puffball wailing as a response.
"Teach that guy a lesson, M.K." Sonic declared. "Mess with Kirby, mess with you." Everyone nodded at that statement. Meta Knight took the tear stained pizza box, went to the door, and pounded on it, making the Mii open it again.
"Another one? Look, I told your little friend I ain't paying for that!" The Mii angrily said as Meta Knight was preparing to shove the pizza box in this guy's face.
"But my friend, this one's on the HOUSE!" Meta Knight countered, throwing the box at him.
Back with Kirby, he was recoving after crying his head out when the masked puffball came back. "Did he change his mind?" He asked
Despite his face being hidden by a mask, he was smiling. "Of couse, Kirby. He ate the entire meal in one bite." That made Kirby happy again as he sprang up to his feet.
"No drink?" Everyone shook their heads.
"Nah. Come on, Kirby. Take us back." Greninja suggested, going back to the top of the rock.
Another smile appeared on Kirby's face as he was pressing the imaginary gas pedal. "Sure thing, min'na! Besides, all six of us are gonna be in the Free-For-All today!" He backed u and right there was the Smash Mansion. The five were shocked and needless to say, not happy.
"A Free-For-All?" Sonic asked meekly.
"...Aw, my aching feet/paws..."
This is a oneshot with my six favorite characters from SSB! This is a parody of SpongeBob SquarePants Season 1 Episode 4, my favorite. Thanks for reading! Good thing I decided to rewrite this, or else, someone random would presume that I'm dead. Well I'm not. I'm just very busy with softball and life. I worked really hard on this I really hope you enjoy it! :)