Author's Note: Part of an experimental project to write at least one short every day for the next year. We'll see if I actually manage to meet my goal. This is The 365 Project, 5 January.

Disclaimer: Hogan's Heroes is the property of CBS, used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

"Tales from Stalag 13"
'The Morning After'
By J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

Colonel Klink came out of the Kommandantur in his usual flurry of coat, cane and monocle as he bellowed, "Repooort!"

"Herr Kommandant!" Sergeant Schultz saluted, "I am pleased to report all prisoners are present and accounted for, Herr Kommandant!"

"Umhm," Klink made the noise sharply as he came to a stop, looking at the arrayed Allied prisoners of war, "Prisoners, from time to time, out of my own free will, I bring you news of the war of which you are no longer a part..."

Klink began to pace up and down in front of the main group that included the Senior Prisoner of War Officer, Colonel Robert Hogan, U.S. Army Air Corps, "The war continues to go well for the all-victorious Third Reich. Your countries' foolish attempt to land a force in North Afrika has resulted in the complete annihilation of an American tank corps by German Panzer divisions, once more proving the superiority of German forces over those of the Allies."

From within the crowd someone whose voice Klink didn't recognise made a comment, "Good job, Colonel, you've kept the world's largest litter box from us!"

"Yeah," a second voice added, "Now all they need is the world's largest cat to use it!"

Klink scowled as the prisoners broke discipline even further and began to laugh and slap each other on the backs. This would not do, what if General Burkhalter saw this... or worse! With that horrifying thought in his mind, Klink stormed over to where Hogan stood and faced him.

"Colonel Hogan, do you -" Klink cut himself off and frowned, adjusting his monocle as he looked Hogan in the eye, "Your eyes are red, Hogan. You've been up late. Digging tunnels perhaps?"

Hogan looked offended, "Of course not, Kommandant! Digging tunnels, why I was reading 'Mein Kampf' last night, stayed up all night to do it, just couldn't put it down."

"Uh-uh-uh," Klink wagged his finger in front of Hogan's face, "I know you, Hogan, you and your men were digging. Why do you persist in such things, Hogan? You of all people know that there has never been an escape from Stalag 13. We will find this tunnel of yours', Hogan; and when we do, you and your men both will spend six weeks in the Cooler."

"Herr Kommandant," Hogan almost looked hurt now, "Have you no faith in human nature?"

"'Faith in human nature'," Klink scoffed, "Colonel Hogan, if you came into my office and told me the sun was shining, I wouldn't believe you until I had looked out the window and felt it raining or not."

"Yes, I can image you would feel it raining," Hogan commented, looking at the officer's peaked cap that covered Klink's bald head, causing the German officer to scowl.

"Disss..." Klink's hand shot up to his eyebrow, then snapped away, "...misssed!"

As soon as Klink was out of sight, Hogan winced and covered his eyes with his hand to keep the sun out. He had to find a new place to meet Allied Intelligence and French and German underground contacts, that's all there was to it; meeting them in town at the Hoffbrau over drinks was starting to get to him, especially when the meetings took a while.