Disclaimer - I don't own these characters from OUAT. And if I did I would make sure Peter becomes a regular! ;D
Summary - Henry thoughts of him and Peter falling out after maintaining a 2 year relationship.
Rate - T
Warning - Panry! And some slight angst...
A/N - Hello, I'm here with a surprising addition of Panry! Yay! :D I hope you guys enjoyed my Last Panry fanfic, "A Love Like War".
I wasnt planning AT ALL to make another one-shot of Panry, because Ill be going back to school on monday - BOOO! :P (goodbye winter break...) But, I pulled through an all-nighter for you guys at brought you this! It was exactly what I wanted to write but this is how it came to be. This is inspired by the song from Little Mix "Cannonball".
This takes place AU! wise. Peter and Henry have regular lives in Storybrooke. Pan is 17, Henry 16.
Please enjoy! :)
Cannonball
It was challenging to even forget his taste. The taste of his mouth, the kind I tasted sweetly on mine during anniversaries, parties, and greetings. Plus, morning and night kisses.
I remembered them the most after dark, almost as if they were scarring midnight memories that I can't forget.
Even now, it hurts to think of him being gone from my life. I had very small doubts, and didn't pay attention to my subconscious warning to me, he isn't right, maybe he's using you!
Now that were not together, the sensation of the pain built up broke the wall of my adrenaline in me, and the empty feeling hit me. I clutched my pillow, nearly piercing through the white fabric. Then, I started to cry. I had to be completely silent at the time, I didn't want Emma, my mom, to worry.
Shes well over protective, with good intentions. She hated Pan, knew he was trouble, and knew he would do something to hurt me. But, at the time, I was happy, incredibly content, and she gave in her approval.
I was happy at the start, the middle, and I you could already predictably guess the ending. That downward slope of a mess. The mess it made of me.
Pan did the breaking up, a little confused to do it himself, saying I wasn't right for him, too good, that I could do ultimately better.
I was numb all over, the shock not sinking in rapidly, too soon for that. So, I shook my head and immediately started to shout at him, objecting to breaking up and that I loved him too much; that I didn't care what others thought, if that was the case.
After our argument, I arrived at my house, silent. Emma asked if I was alright, I just headed upstairs and into my room. I was just planning to tell her in the morning.
It was dark in my room. I closed the door behind me and just bore my eyes on the window above my bed, shining at faint blue light from outside; letting my eyes adjust.
So much was running through my head that night. Half of my thoughts drifted to the painful split, the other to the night we made love. Right in this very room. I just stared at my room solemnly. The reason that memory triggered was because the image of my room, in front of my eyes, was the exact picture of that night.
Warm, dark, and quiet. Almost quiet.
Only I wasn't crying at the blissful memory. Some others would, but I just couldn't. Not until I made it to my bed. There, I continued to cry as a wave full of memories filled my head. It was enormously intense.
From the first time we met, to our first date, to our first kiss. Our first kiss was perfect. Impressively perfect.
If you thought it was on the first date, it wasn't. Now that date was immensely awkward to beginning with.
It was during our third date, Pan took me to a carnival. It was splendid, everything that occurred that day was unexpected and I was practically on cloud nine. I've never felt such love for someone, so much giving. I felt like I could pour my everything to Pan, tell him secrets, ideas, and even rants about somethings, anything! Like, a movie or a TV show.
He did nothing but listen, never once interrupting me or telling me he didn't want to listen anymore. He kept a soft smile; undivided attention, aiming toward me. I never had anyone truly listen to me before. It felt uplifting.
When I think about that in school, or at home, or even unwanted shopping with Regina, I smile. My mom would ask if I was okay, for just spontaneously beaming a wide grin. And, a stupid blush would surface on my cheeks.
Later in the night, when the date was over we walked home, it was the most perfect night if I recalled. It was dark enough to see the starlights shine in the sky, while on the horizon the sun had just gone down, leaving skyline colors of pink, orange, and yellow. Topping it all off, the breeze was amazingly cool, fanning my sweaty face quite nicely.
We were, long story short, chatting continuously about our likes and dislikes. Our favorite band, and our favorite foods. While I talked, Pan again still hung to my every word.
He was never rushing anything, he kept everything at a normal, comfortable pace. He wouldn't make a move on me if my actions seemed to alert any distress. We only ever held hands, and that felt enjoying while on the Ferris wheel - as stereotypical as it sounds its was exceedingly calming. Peaceful.
As we held hands, he slowed our pace down. He gave my hand a gently squeeze and let go temporarily, placing his by his sides. I just stood there abruptly dumbfounded. My heart started to beat out of worry.
"Whats wrong?" I mistakenly stuttered out. He just gazed at me, my heart then slowed to a softer rhythm. His eyes telling me there was nothing wrong. Not ever.
"I just..had a marvelous day with you." He confessed confidently. "And I want to know your thoughts."
I blushed lightly. "I had an incredible day with you, thank you so much for taking me here." I smiled shyly at him. He returned it with a mellow side smile.
"It was my pleasure really. I'm glad you had fun on this date-"
"I wouldn't mind another at all." I cut in accidentally.
But, Pan didn't mind, as long as he gotten another date. His face brightened up beautifully, he reached his hand out and cupped it on the side of my face and carefully leaned in. His warm body followed suit as it was heavily close to mine. Itching to warp his hand around my waist.
He slowly looked down at me, surprised still clouded my eyes, but staring at his lips as well as did lust. No, not lust.
Love. Love was radiating from him, and I savored the sensation of it, hungrily wanting more. He made sure he wasn't doing anything I didn't want. But, I did want to kiss him, terribly. So I allowed him, searching through his eyes as they awaited a hopeful answer.
I felt his soft lips wrapped over mine, very lightly. Still unsure. The smell of him was intoxicating me in so many splendid ways I couldn't even imagine. I took the liberty to assure him of my approval, and that's when the blush on my face heated up. That's when my blood boiled; my heart fluttering against my chest so sorely pleasant. That's when I smiled into it when he achingly pushed back.
It was powerful. It was perfect.
Everything just seemed so right. Everything was perfect.
My head pounded uncontrollably; I knew it would stop if I stopped shedding tears, which I knew I wont, until I would gratefully pass out, so I can forget things for a bit in my sleep.
I ached, I missed him. My eyes burned. The tears advanced its flowing, hotly going down my red cheeks.
The intimacy we had together on this bed was one I wish I could feel right now. Wish I can feel forever. The spicy smell of him that I love so dearly was replaced with my salty tears. The warmth of his body against mine, now disturbingly cold.
I hated it. I hated it because there was nothing I can do about it. I didn't have the strength, no strength in the slightest to call him, maybe ask exactly why he did it. His true reasons.
Even if I did that I wouldn't want to know. To be truly honest, I didn't want to know. Sure, It was compelling to know. Probably bring some closure to me, but it would definitely be painful, even though I haven't heard it. I just cant stand anymore pain. Adding more salt into the bleeding wounds.
Worst thing is, he hasn't had the fucking chance to call me. Maybe feel regret for leaving me, and I was hoping any regretful feeling could wash over him! That at that minute we could reunite, and forget this ever happened. Getting a second chance at the most.
I was persuading myself that It was only a misconception. That none of this is real. Simply a disgusting nightmare.
Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I can call Pan in the morning, and I can talk it out with him. All I need to do is stay calm and get a hot drink, then go to sleep. So that's what I did. Only, waiting a few minutes to rid of any tear stains and my blood shot eyes in case Emma notices with her hawk eyes.
I made myself some herbal tea, grabbed some aspirins for my roaring headache, and returned to my room. I continued to leave my lights off, the feeling of having florescent light on didn't sound too pleasing at all.
I made myself comfortable, laying still on my bed. I took a few small sips from my cup, filling me up with warmth, and the flavorful smell did keep my nerves under control. I didn't want to think about him, so I didn't. I let my mind wander off to a wonderland like place. Somewhere where I can keep my mind at ease.
Normally, Pan would set my mind in ease with just his presence in the room, but that wasn't my case and I proceeded to directly ignore it. Ignore any resentful or amiable thought of him.
I feel asleep afterward quite easily. Although, my body lingered that aching phase, maintaining some earlier feelings from my heart. I casted those aside, deeply in some desperate rest.
Still holding on to the small piece of hope that things can be fixed. If not, I'll come out of this unconsciously feeling stronger.
So...um ya...thats it! So, watcha think? It my first time writing something "angsty". So PLEASE review, I wanna know you thoughts! PLEASE. Thanks. :)