6:00am found Hawkeye sitting on the beach watching the waves crashing onto the shore. He'd bolted awake shortly after 2:00am with the uneasy feeling something was wrong. The feeling was strong enough that he had got out of bed and padded down the hall to his dad's bedroom to check on him. His dad had been fine though only his head showing from under the blankets and snoring lightly.

The uneasy feeling had stayed with Hawkeye however so after an hour of trying unsuccessfully to go back to sleep he had finally given up and got out of bed which was why he was now sitting on the beach behind the house he still shared with his dad watching the sun slowly rise. Of all the things he had missed about Maine while over in Korea watching the sunrise probably ranked #1. He smiled as he thought of how surprised his MASH 4077 buddies would be if they knew. The doctor they knew in Korea was a drinking jokester who proclaimed loudly that mornings should be abolished.

He smiled thinking of his MASH friends. He spoke regularly with Colonel Potter and Sydney and even heard from Radar every few months. Margaret even kept in touch every 6 months or so. Klinger sent out a Christmas letter every year but most surprising of all was Winchester. They never talked on the phone but he and Winchester had become regular writing buddies. They even managed to meet up with each other 2 or 3 times a year for dinner. As for BJ . . . well that was another matter entirely. Hawkeye quickly blocked out those emotions before they could cut too deep. He didn't know how much the others knew about the nature of his relationship with BJ but it certainly hadn't escaped his notice that the others never mentioned him – except for Klinger of course.

He had finally found an easy balance in his life. The bus incident had left permanent scars but with Sydney's help Hawkeye had finally been able to come to terms with and put that behind him. He still worked part-time with his dad as a physician in Crab Apple Cove and 3 days a week he worked at the hospital in Portland performing surgery. The only thing missing was that special someone to share it with. He had found that someone but . . . no Hawkeye thought forcefully. Don't go there.

"Hawk. Hawkeye?" his dad was calling him, his voice coming closer.

Hawkeye turned around to see his dad making his way down to the end of the grass which gave way to the sand of the beach.

"There's a phone call for you." His dad said.

"The hospital? Is there an emergency?" Hawkeye asked. Maybe that explained him waking up out of the blue so early this morning.

Dr. Daniel Pierce shook his head. "No not the hospital. But . . . it's a call you better take son."

Hawkeye watched his dad in silence a moment. It wasn't often his dad called him "son". And his dad wasn't quite meeting his eyes leading Hawkeye to believe it was something serious. Hawkeye got up brushing the sand off the seat of his pants and turned towards the house. He knew . . . he knew this call was behind his unorthodox wake-up this morning.

He walked into the house his father trailing behind him. He picked the phone up off the kitchen counter, paused briefly then finally brought the phone up to his ear. "This is Hawkeye."

"Daddy Hawk? It's Erin."

And just like that the pain he always experienced when thinking of BJ was back in a flash. It was Erin Hunicutt, BJ's daughter. His daughter too for a few years – a few good years – before things went haywire. He closed his eyes as the memories he always tried so hard to keep at bay came flooding back.

"Daddy Hawk? Are you still there?" Erin sounded concerned and upset.

Hawkeye shook his head tightly gripping the phone. He started to speak and realized nothing was coming out. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Yeah, sorry. I'm here. It's been awhile Erin – how are you?"

"I'm okay considering. I'm afraid I have bad news. Dad was in an accident last night around 11:00pm. He's . . . well . . . he's not doing well." She was upset and from the tone of her voice Hawkeye guessed she was crying.

BJ had been in an accident. It happened around 11:00pm in California which would have been about 2:00am in Maine – when Hawkeye had bolted awake. Hawkeye was stunned – he thought the connection they had always seemed to share had been broken when their relationship fell apart. Apparently he was wrong.

"He's at San Francisco General Hospital in ICU. He just came out of surgery a little bit ago. The doctor said he's critical – they don't know yet if . . . if Dad's going to pull through." Erin paused trying to control her emotions. "The next few days . . . well anyway I just thought you would want to know."

"Thanks Erin I . . . thanks for calling me. Keep me posted okay? You're still at the same number?"

Erin sniffed. "Yeah . . . we never moved. Are you going to come out here?" She asked hesitantly – maybe even a little hopefully. Hawkeye wondered who was with her, comforting her.

Hawkeye didn't know. Their break-up had been hard on him. While the urge to see Beej again was strong he didn't know if his heart would be able to withstand it. "I . . . don't know Erin. I'll . . . I have to . . . I'll let you know later okay?"

"Okay. Well call me at the hospital – they have a courtesy phone in the waiting room." Erin recited the number as Hawkeye hurriedly scribbled it down.

"Thanks Erin I'll talk to you later." Hawkeye slowly hung up the phone. Picking up the piece of paper he'd scribbled the number on Hawkeye slowly walked over to the dining room table and sunk down into the chair. Beej had been in an accident and was now fighting for his life. His elbows resting on the table Hawkeye buried his face in his hands.

His dad came up silently behind him, placing his hands on Hawkeye's shoulders. He knew how upsetting this news would be to Hawkeye which is why he had been hesitant about calling him to the phone. Only twice before had he seen his son so deeply troubled – the first time when he had finally come back home from Korea and had told him about the bus incident and then 8 years later when Hawk had come back home from San Francisco after ending his relationship with BJ. He knew his son had never really recovered from that.

"Are you going to San Francisco?" He quietly asked.

Hawk shook his head. His voice came out soft, muffled behind his hands. "I don't know. Seeing him again after . . . I don't know. I miss him . . . Erin too. Should I be there if he dies? Would BJ even want to see me if he pulls through?"

Hawkeye vaguely remembered something about dying in his arms. What was it? He crinkled his brow and the memory came screaming back. He and Beej had been in the mess tent not long after his release from the mental hospital and just before the war had ended. He had been trying to get BJ to acknowledge it was goodbye for them. Why it had been so important to get that goodbye he didn't know but he had pushed BJ, even asking if BJ would hold him in his arms if he was dying or would he just let him bleed to death. "If I were dying today I would want him to hold me in his arms – despite everything."

"Hawkeye"? His dad questioned.

Hawkeye lifted up his head finally meeting his dad's eyes. His own blue eyes were dull, agonized. "I have to go to San Francisco."

Daniel studied his son intently, seeing the agony in his son's eyes. There are some wounds time never heals. He had learned how to go on when his wife – Hawkeye's mom – had died – mainly because his son was still a child and needed him. But that was different. He knew she would never come back. The love of Hawkeye's life hadn't died, he was alive and well in another state - Daniel could only imagine how much harder that was.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "I know you still grieve. I don't want you hurt again."

"I'll never be over BJ dad. But I've had to move on without him. If he doesn't pull through – well I would never feel right knowing he died and I wasn't there to offer what comfort I could. I think – I think he would come for me if I were dying." His dad still looked uncertain. He nodded once, firmly. "I need to do this."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Daniel asked.

"No I think this is something I need to do myself. Besides we can't leave Crab Apple Cove without a doctor now can we? I'll be okay dad."

His decision made Hawkeye set about arranging everything. First he called the hospital – getting time off wasn't a problem as they'd been suggesting he take a vacation for the last 2 years. Then he called the airline and scheduled his flight. He packed a bag – enough to last him a week. His preparations done he took a quick shower and dressed, heading downstairs with his suitcase.

Three hours later he was in the air on his way to California. Hawkeye was relieved the plane was half empty. He had no one sitting next to him trying to talk to him. He rested his head back against the head rest, closed his eyes, and finally allowed himself to remember the 1st time he saw Beej after the war.