A girl sat perched underneath a large oak tree. Her hair, somewhere between light-brown and dark red, lay against her shoulders. Her blue eyes were closed, as thoughts crossed her mind. Her name was Arcadia Cathal, but her friends called her Cay, although she had very few friends to call her by this nickname. It was Cay's seventh and final year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and in those seven years, Cay had managed to remain what she was when she had first arrived at the school, an outcast. Even in her own house, Ravenclaw, she was barely known and mostly kept to herself. In her opinion, life sucked, tremendously. This emotion had only grown stronger over the last school year, as her favorite professor had become a fugitive murderer, and had left her carrying a burden that he should share with her.
"What's the bleeding point!" she cried to the seemingly empty air, kicking the dirt in front of her. She sat back against the tree, thinking of ways to ditch school.
Brett lay down on the grass, his head resting on his hands. His pale blue eyes were focused on a fish that had come closer to the surface of the lake. He sighed heavily. The quidditch match of the previous day had indeed taken its toll on the boy. His own house, Hufflepuff, losing once again to Harry Potter and the Gryffindors was a feeling that he did not want to feel again. But, this feeling was doubled as he was the team captain and it was his job to make sure that his team was victorious. All that day, he was forced to hear taunts and advice from his fellow Hufflepuffs.
"God, I wish this day would end," He sighed as he buried his head in his hands.
Cay, now done wallowing in self-pity, looked up. She spotted a boy laying on the grass, clad in Hufflepuff colors, lying not to far from her. She recognized him as the quidditch team captain. She had heard that they had lost to Gryffindor, but she had not attended the game. She had been inside, browsing her former teacher's office. No one had missed her though. She was the outcast, and no one would ever miss her. Brett sat up and looked at the large tree and saw a girl perched underneath it. She was staring at him. He had seen the girl before. He didn't know her name, or even what house she was in. He had seen her around the school before though. He didn't really concern himself with those that weren't in his house, or at the same level as him in lessons. She tended to sink into the background. When he looked back at the girl, she was still staring at him.
"Yes?" he said, not meaning for it to sound as rude as it did.
Cay looked up. She heard the boy call to her.
"You talking to me?" she asked back.
She didn't care what a dumb jock had to say to her. As
far as she was concerned, all jocks were brainless idiots. The fact
that she always had opinions about people was probably one factor why
she had so few friends. He was still looking at the girl. He looked
around, seeing if anyone else was around, as he found her question to
be rather strange.
"You are the only other person over here,
right?" Brett said, sitting up.
"What do you want?" she shouted, and then felt foolish for it. She got up and moved closer, but not too close.
"Look, if you gonna start blabbing about dumb ol' quidditch, you better find yourself someone else to talk to," she added, wrapping her arms about her legs, laying her chin on top.
He stared at the girl's eyes, trying to find some clue about her.
"You don't have to be rude. I just wanted to know why you were staring at me. I didn't say I wanted a conversation," He said, plucking a bug off of his robes. "What's your name?"
"I wasn't staring at you," she retorted, "I was staring past you. There's a difference, and, my name is Arcadia," she answered bluntly.
"Well then, Arcadia," he put emphasis on her name, "how about next time you just don't look my way? You don't have to be so rude it could help you. By the way, my name is Brett," He said. He had inherited his father's arrogance. This showed in everything that he did.
"Well Brett, maybe you should stay out of my line of vision next time," she spat back. Something about this kid reminded her of...herself. She let out a sigh of displeasure as her mind, once again strayed to her missing confidant. "This school sucks," she mumbled, hoping he wouldn't hear her.
"You know what? It's no wonder you don't have any friends, that attitude isn't gonna get you anywhere," Brett said, smirking slightly.
This girl was somehow holding his attention. She intrigued him. Something about her was different from others.
"And," he said, "If you ask me, this school has taken a real nose dive now that Dumbledore's gone. But, that's just my opinion."
"The old bat deserved what he got," she snarled.
"Old bat? Old bat?" He said, looking at the girl in shock. "How dare you disrespect Dumbledore, and his memory? I'll have you know, Dumbledore was the best thing that ever happened to this school," he said indignantly. "Old bat," he mumbled. "If that coward Snape were here right now, I'd show him what I could do. You should hear yourself, you sound like a bloody Slytherin."
"Don't you dare call him a coward," Cay shrieked angrily. "No one at the stupid school understood him like I did," she huffed. "That damn hat put me in the wrong house. I don't belong in Ravenclaw," she continued fuming.
"He is a coward. And as soon as the Ministry catches him he's going to be a dead one. And people will come from miles and miles away to watch the execution of the man who murdered Dumbledore," said Brett with anger in his deep voice. "Why are we even having this discussion? I don't know you, nor do I want to." Brett said.
He was angry, something that he was not very accustomed to being. Usually, he would just have every luxury and have everyone agree with him. This girl's disrespect of him and the school intrigued him.
"You don't know him! All you ever saw was a broken man. But you know what I saw?" she asked, leaning forward to make her point.
"What?" He asked curiously. "What did you see that the entire world could not see?"
"I saw a man in need of love. And I helped him find it. He was the only person who understood me because he let me understand him. I know things about him that no one else does," she hissed. She then realized what she had said, and hoped that Brett would not catch on.
The seriousness of the conversation soon faded as Brett began laughing. "Love?" He chuckled. Cay was now becoming physically angry as her face reddened. "Like he could ever be loved, or even love. I have heard some strange things in my life, but that takes the cake," he laughed.
"Why should I expect some dumb jock to understand," she vented more to herself than Brett.
She wasn't just worried about his whereabouts and safety, but hers as well. She had a secret that only he knew. It was his secret too. And she'd be damned to tell some prissy dunderhead about her personal affairs.
"Fine then," he said simply. "You can keep you precious Death Eater. I know what he did, and I want him to pay for it. Me and the rest of the world. And, as for that little jock comment, if you want to go ahead and put labels on stuff, then go ahead. You are an outcast, shunned by all and liked by none. Plain and simple."
"I don't need some asshole telling me what I already know," She said, standing and pointing her wand at him.
Brett looked down at her pointed wand and pulled his out too. "Look, the name calling is reserved for first years. Just because you can't admit the truth about the bastard doesn't mean that you have to take it out on me. But then again, I'd see why you like him. Two outcasts can always find one another. You can both be in the shadows. What were you, his lover?" Brett said quickly. His nostrils flared. He smirked again. This time he believed he had struck a nerve.
"Sectumsempra," she snarled, her eyes flashing in severe anger. This little rodent has some nerve. She thought.
Brett dodged the spell. The beam of light traveled far and hit a bush, causing it to catch fire.
"What bloody spell was that?" he asked. "Stupefy." he yelled twice, once aiming for her foot and missing, the other time aiming at her stomach.
She clutched her stomach and hit the ground, just barely missing the second spell. "I'll tell you what spell that was you little bastard. It's for your enemies, and if you don't leave me alone, you'll know all about it from experience. Causes welts, its been known to kill a few people," she seethed, her hands still hovering protectively over her abdomen.
"What are you hiding?" he asked. "Why are you holding your stomach like that? I didn't hit you. Here let me help you," he said. He reached out to her.
She suddenly began to shake. Her robes had fallen askew and a rather engorged abdomen shown through. She eyed him nervously. She could tell he'd seen it.
"Why would you help me? I just tried to kill you," she queried, trying to catch her breath.
"Are you pregnant? he asked. He grabbed her shoulders and helped her to stand up straight. "My, my. Some people just can't take help. Does Madame Pomfrey know about you? Who's the father? Does he know?" The questions spurted from his mouth like bullets.
"Yes I'm pregnant. No she doesn't. Its none of your business but he does know," she answered his questions in as rapid a succession as he had asked them.
"Arcadia look, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have tried to hurt you if I'd have known. I just want to help you now. Don't be so rude and maybe I could." Brett said.
"You'd take that back in a heartbeat if you knew who the father was," she sniffed.
"Snape? Is Snape the father?" Brett said, putting the clues together. "You are having his child?" He asked incredulously.
"Yes alright! Happy now?" she cried, tears streaming down her face.
"Don't cry. It doesn't suit you. You probably knew that I was going to ask this, but why? Why, and how are you having this baby? How far along are you?" he asked, staring at he bulging belly with repulsion.
"Why? Because it's my choice and I want to. How? Well god, when a man and a woman love each other and they want to have a baby," she began, wiping the tears from her eyes as a sardonic smile spread across her lips.
"You loved him, and he loved you back? So then, do you know where he went?" Brett said.
"No," she spat angrily. "And to answer your last question I'm five months," she whispered. "He promised me he'd be here when the baby came. That after I graduated we'd be able to raise the baby together," she continued, fighting back tears.
"Face facts. If Harry ever gets his hands on him, he's probably going to kill him. You can't depend on him. Stop crying." he said, using the sleeve of his robes to wipe her face. "To each their own." he mumbled.
"He saved me," she mumbled, collapsing into Brett's arms.
"From what, or who?" he asked. He wrapped his hands around her. She cried into his chest. "It's alright."
"Myself," she sobbed. "God I was a wreck. He found me one night. He was gonna give me detention for being out of bed after hours but…you can't give detention to someone whose almost a corpse," she sniffled into his robes.
"What do you mean?" he asked, showing a reason why the hat had placed him in Hufflepuff. He could be rather quick witted sometimes though.
"He'd found me with a needle shoved up my god damned arm," she finished. "He managed to revive me. Then gave me detention indefinitely," she added trying to regain composure. "He helped me clean up and stay clean," she finished.
"Wow. At least he helped someone. That's one good thing about him," He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Look, I'll keep your secret on one condition."
"What?" she asked, one hand resting on her bulging belly, the other wiping her eyes.
"You have to let me take you to Madame Pomfrey. Even us dumb jocks have hearts. She can help you. But either way, I am not letting you walk to the castle alone." Brett said quietly, looking down at her.
"Fine," she replied. She still felt like she needed to share more with this guy. It didn't make sense but she figured if he'd listen, then she could talk. "Do you mind if I keep talking?" she asked shyly.
"No, not at all. I actually was hoping we could keep talking." He said. He wanted to solve the mystery that was Arcadia. He smiled at her, showing a set of white teeth
"Well. After I got clean, he kept having me go back. To check up on me you know. And sometimes he'd show me his pensieve. Or he'd tell me how he desperately wanted someone to love him," she continued.
"I told him that I did. At first he thought I was just playing around, trying to make fun of him. But I wasn't. He was my savior. He knew why I'd wanted to end it all," she stopped, her voice turning bitter.
Well, seems like you and Snape had it all planned out. I never knew him like on a personal level. I doubt many did. But at least someone did. Hopefully his baby won't grow up father-less. I know what its like to be hopelessly in love." he said, his eyes gazing at the lake behind him.
"Oh really?" she asked. "Have you ever known what its like to wake up one morning and know no one thinks you mean jack shit to the world?" she inquired suddenly.
She stopped walking and turned to face Brett. "Do you know why he showed me his pensieve, why he entrusted me with his memories and his child?" she posed abruptly.
"No, I don't know that feeling. But, I have a question for you. Have you ever felt as though the entire world was about to crash on you, and everyone was expecting you to still be Mr. Perfect?" he inquired, stopping with her.
He listened to her latest question. "He loved you, I believe. He trusted you. That's what I think."
"No because I'm not Mr. Perfect. I'm the pregnant former junkie outcast," she replied, addressing his question.
"And you're partly right. He did love me and trust me. But he needed someone to be able to tell the truth about him," she expounded.
"And I agreed to have his baby because...because I didn't want to see his line die out. And having his baby would be my reminder that I still have a link to him...even if I can't save him like he saved me," she concluded.
"Do you even really want this baby?" he asked suddenly. "From what you just said, it seems as though all you want is a reminder of him. But for all that, you could just wait till school is over and have him yourself."
"Of course I want the baby!" she retorted, rolling her eyes.
"He and I...we made this baby together. It's a part of me too. And I'll love it no matter what," she added. Suddenly her face grew contorted in anger.
"Potter thinks he knows the truth. Bullshit. Severus was following orders alright, Dumbledore's orders. That boy is such a fool. Severus works his ass off night and day for that man. Rage and hatred my arse. It broke him to kill his mentor. And Malfoy thought no one knew what he was doing. I was the only one who knew the plan were he to fail," she spat viciously, not caring that she was giving away information about the former Professor.
"Thank you for trusting me." He smiled again. "Your eyes betrayed you. Every time when you talk with that anger in your eyes, I know you don't mean it. You have soft eyes." Brett then took a moment to reflect on what he had heard.
Cay looked at him, examining him like he'd already done to her. She'd just entrusted Severus's biggest secret in this boy whom she'd only met less than an hour ago. She wasn't sure it had been the best course of action but what was done was done and it could not be changed now.
"So the rumors are true then. I heard Harry and his friends saying something about it. Maybe Snape was ordered to kill him. But that does not excuse the deed. But still, could you have killed for him? Would you really kill for him, if he had asked you too? I don't think so. You don't seem like a killer. Come on, let's keep walking." Brett said slowly, beginning to move in the direction of the castle.
"Yes. I would have if he'd asked me too. But he didn't want to risk the baby's health. I swear if I find Potter anywhere near him, he'll pay. It's my turn to save him. I owe him that," she answered, her voice falling to just above a whisper as a single tear sped down her cheek.
"Well then, sounds like you've got it all figured out. Go ahead and kill then, get caught. Let the baby grow up without parents. At least you'll have repaid your favor." Brett said, the smile fading from his face as he tried to make the girl feel as though she was making a mistake.
"Who said I'd kill Potter. I'd just make him regret ever doubting Severus," she snapped with a huff.
Brett sighed with relief. "It's not your job to police people for doubting people. You can't change simple human errors. Just worry about you, and your baby." He said slowly, hoping that she would take his words in.
She listened to what he had to say. Without warning, tears began spilling from her eyes again.
"Damn hormones," she grumbled, dabbing at her moist lids.
"You know. I don't even know what I'm having," she murmured, looking down at her stomach.
"That's the best part; the surprise. As long as he or she is healthy, what more can you ask for?" Brett said. He was always the optimist. "I feel bad though. Your hormones must be driving you crazy, and you have them worst than everyone else, what with the baby, and being a teen." He chuckled.
"Yeah. Doesn't help that my parents hate me and still think I shoot up," she growled, giving reason to her tears now. "I'm sorry to just go off like this on you," she said.
"Oh, don't mention it. I'd rather you express yourself like this then by..." he trailed off, trying to move the topic away from the drugs. "Anyway, what do your friends call you?"
"Cay. Not that I have friends mind you," she said with a bitter laugh.
"Most of the girls in my dorm know I used to get high. A couple of times I got caught and I had to do memory charms to make them forget," she said, blushing a little as they continued their meandering stroll towards the large stone edifice.
"Wow. You must be pretty strong then. You already know my nickname. Brett. Its short for Brettford. And if you have a smart remark about it, I keep it to myself, if I were you." Brett said playfully. "Its funny how we started talking. Who'd of pictured the two of us being friends? We are friends, right?"
"Strong? I guess so," she muttered to his compliment.
"Friends? You want to be friends with me?" she asked incredulously. She was shocked. She thought she'd have scared him off with all her depressing talk.
"Of course I want to be friends. You told me all this stuff about you. That's what friends do," he said.
This was yet another new feeling for him. His family was wealthy, so naturally he had people that wanted to be his friend.
"Ok. Sure," she replied. "And you won't tell anybody about...this?" she asked, pointing at her stomach. "About whose it is" she added for clarification.
"I won't," he promised, and he meant it. "It'll be our secret. Do you still want to go to Madame Pomfrey then?" he inquired as the wind swirled around them.
"Yeah I do," she said, addressing the latter part of his statement.
"But she'll ask who the father is. What do I tell her?" Cay questioned nervously.
"Tell her that I'm the father. She'll be shocked, but that will be best. This way, you can keep your secret." Brett said quickly. The words had come spurting from his mouth before he had time to think.
"I can't do that to you. Think of the rumors that will spread," Cay murmured, wide-eyed at the sacrifice he was willing to take for her.
Brett laughed again. "Rumors? According to some of the rumors I've heard about myself, I've slept with half of the girls in two years. Besides, we'll have Madame Pomfrey keep it quiet. But, if you don't want me too, then fine. Just know that I'm willing to help. You know, us Hufflepuffs are loyal."
"Yeah so that hat keeps saying," she chuckled. "I guess it put you in the right house," she muttered more to herself than him. "Ok. We can say its yours," she sighed softly, her body leaning lightly on his shoulder.
Continuing the walk to the castle, Brett felt happy that he had made a new friend that actually wanted to talk about something other than quidditch.
"So, have you thought of a name?" Brett asked.
"Well not a girl's name. But a boy's name. Isaiah," she said with a smile.
"Nice name. Where did you get it from?" Brett asked. "But, what about if it's a girl?"
"I just always liked the name," she answered. "I don't know. What would u think a good name is for a girl? Since it's your baby," she said, nudging him slightly.
"Well, maybe something like...Carolyn. It's my mother's name. But, we'll have to wait till he or she is born, then we will really know what to name her." he replied.
"Or him," she said with a smirk.
"And I was thinking of maybe asking Madam Pomfrey to tell me what gender. I mean, I don't have much spending money and it'd be pointless to by two of everything in pink and blue you know," she added, eyeing him expectantly.
"Yeah, that's true. But, with as slow as we're walking, we're not gonna get to the castle till the baby is born." He laughed. "Which would you prefer, a boy or a girl?"
I'd like a son. But I know Severus was hoping for a daughter," she murmured, instantly angry at herself for admitting the last part. If they were going to successfully play this out, she was going to have to stop muttering on about his hopes. It would get suspicious.
"A little boy, huh? I'd like a boy too. A chip off the old block." He sighed. "Listen to me, I sound like my father." He had purposely ignored the last bit about Snape. He was finally getting a connection to her, but Snape could not be a part of it.
"Excited about leaving school soon?" he asked casually.
"I suppose so. I mean, its not like I have any place to go. My parents kicked me out and I can't go to university while trying to raise a baby," she expounded, silently noting how he ignored her comment about Severus.
She felt Brett was trying to push the baby's father out of the picture. Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much if Severus didn't come back. She'd at least have someone who she could confide in.
"I have offers from several teams to go and play for them. I probably won't take then though. I like quidditch, but if I keep playing, I'll always be known and "that dumb jock". Brett said, looking away from her.
"I'd actually like to become an Auror," he admitted quietly to his shoulder.
"You...do?" she asked, color draining from her face. "Oh...well that's good," she managed to stammer out.
"Being an Auror is noble. But, after all my training, I figure that this war will be over. I won't be capturing anyone...important." He chose his words carefully. He was trying not to mention Death Eaters, as it would probably bring back a mention of Snape.
"So do you think Madam Pomfrey will try and tell McGonagall about us?" she questioned, seeming more relaxed around him and in referring to him as the baby's father.
Brett took note of her use of the word, us. "I don't have a doubt in my mind that she will tell. But, what can she say? You're pregnant now, and there's nothing they can do but cope. Come on, let's get going," he urged.
She nodded and picked up her pace. She wasn't sure she liked the idea of the Headmistress knowing her circumstance but she supposed she had no choice. The worst she could do was expel her although she knew underneath it all, McGonagall had a kind heart. With this thought in mind, she followed Brett up the front steps and into the castle.