Squidward wins.

One day Spongebob Squarepants was being his usual annoying self. And was better way to annoy was by annoying the hell out of his neighbour Squidward. He knocked on the door of Squidward's house.

"What do you want?" asked Squidward.

"Hey, Squidward! Wanna come out and blow bubbles?" Spongebob smiled.

"No…you should know I never want anything to do with you." Squidward snarled.

"Oh c'mon!? Pretty please!?" Spongebob asked in his usual whiny voice.

"No! I don't want to blow bubbles with you! And pretty soon I'll never have to deal with you again!" Squidward shouted to Spongebob.

"Why's that?" Spongebob asked.

"I've called the police. They're coming to arrest you." Squidward said to Spongebob.

Spongebob gasped. "The police!? Why?"

Squidward put on a smile. "Well it's pretty obvious by now, isn't it?" he asked.

"I don't understand."

"Spongebob, let's get one thing straight. You are the full definition of EVIL . You've invaded my house numerous times without knocking. And if that's not enough to make you a creepy stalker. One time you completely replicated my house just because I wouldn't come over. "

"Uhhh…." Spongebob replied.

"And I'm only just getting warmed up. You've shown creepy behaviour in public by falling in love with a crabby patty. You've caused the town to be wrecked on numerous occasions due to your stupidity. You've let your pet snail been tortured by a monster. Pranked the whole town into thinking there's ghosts with invisible spray….."

"How long are you going to be?" Spongebob asked.

Squidward presented 200 sheets of paper. "I'm still only on page 1. Spongebob, in the beginning people have seen me as the bad guy because I'm grumpy and pessimistic. But as time as gone on compared to you…..I'm a saint. In fact I'm surprised Satan hasn't come up to you and asked for advice."

"Ha ha! Satan! As if Squidward."

Suddenly Satan appeared behind Spongebob. "Yo, Spongie! Got any hints?"

"Can we talk later?" Spongebob said to Satan. Flames appeared and Satan went back to hell.

"You just don't get it do you? According to what I heard from the police…..not only are you going to jail. You're getting the electric chair. So's your friend Patrick for his fair share of crimes."

"WHAT!? Patrick too? What's he done!?" screamed Spongebob.

Squidward then produced another 200 sheets of paper. "Well let's see…..like you he's…."

Spongebob closed his eyes and held up his hand "Forget it, I get it."

Suddenly police sirens appeared behind Spongebob.

"Well I gotta get ready for work. Enjoy jail." Squidward smiled.

Squidward closed his door. He heard Spongebob scream "You'll never take me alive!" And a few gunshots.

Squidward put on his Krusty Krab hat and went to work. He then went to the counter where he usually worked.

"3 seconds late…I'll dock your pay for this boy!" Mr Krabs snarled at Squidward.

"Like you ever pay me anything, anyway." Squidward muttered quietly to himself.

Suddenly ten policemen burst through the door. "Eugene Krabs! You're under arrest!"

"WHATEVER FOR!?" Mr Krabs panicked

One of the policemen then produced 200 sheets of paper "Well let's see you've counterfeited money, paid your employees below minimum wage WITH THE COUNTERFEIT MONEY, given them only 5 minutes break, forced them to work 24/7, you've spread false rumors, nearly driven Plankton to suicide…

"Okay, I get it…." Frowned Mr Krabs.

The police slapped a pair of handcuffs on Krabs and lead them out to a police boat…..

At this the Krusty Krab fell into Squidward's control….he was the new boss, with all the money that Mr Krabs had cheated. He brought Plankton's business and the two went into partners, coming up with creative meals for the new rule of the restaurant. Squidward shared Krab's secret sauce recipe with Plankton, and Plankton shared his numerous cooking recipes with him. And that was the time that Squidward's life became awesome. But could anything make Squidward's life more awesome?

Why yes…

One time coming home from work, he passed the prison and heard, Spongebob, Patrick's and Mr Krab's screams from being given the electric chair.

THE END.