As always I don't own JAG or it's characters.
This story takes place in season 10, at least after Retrial…
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Harm's apartment
"Harm?" - No answer, he was standing by the window with his arms crossed and seemed to be thousands of miles away.
"Harm?"- She entered his apartment, after all the door was open. She tried again.
"Hey! Where are you sailor??" – Finally he noticed she was there and turned around.
"Hey! Sorry, I was lost in thoughts. What are you doing here?"
"Well, you were supposed to cook for me." – She smiled at him. – "We were going to talk about that case, remember?"
"Oh! I totally forgot, sorry. But we can order something." – He came closer to her and pointed the couch like telling her to sit down and went to call for some food for them. After that he sat beside her and they started with the case as planned.
Time passed and they weren't doing any progress. He was lost, he wasn't concentrating at all and looked like that was the last place in the world where he wanted to be, sometimes it seemed to her that he wasn't even listening.. She knew something was wrong, so she decided to ask…
"Harm, are you ok?"
"Of course I'm ok. Why do you ask?"
"Well, you look like you are somewhere else tonight. What's on your mind?" – She smiled at him, and that was all he needed… that beautiful smile and he was even further away los in his thoughts and fantasies…
"Harm? You are doing it again."
"Oh! Sorry. I guess I've been thinking a lot lately."
"About what?"
"About… us." – She was surprised, he didn't even tried to hide it, he was thinking about them, but the important thing was the he actually told her that he was doing it!
"Oh…" – She didn't know what to say. After all that had happened she was afraid to ask for more information about his thoughts. And as always he seemed to read her mind, and started to explain himself.
"Remember I told you to come to me when you'd be ready?"
"Yes." – She couldn't say anything more, was he trying to tell her that 'that' option wasn't available anymore…
"I don't want to push you with this but I need to know something."
"Harm, you are not…" – He didn't let her continue, he took one of her hands and covered with his, looked directly into her eyes…
"Mac, I want this to work, and I'll wait… as long as it takes." – He took some air in and let it go later taking the strength of the atmosphere.
"But I need to know if I'm waiting for something. I'm not young anymore, and I have needs in my life that I need to cover, and if you can't…" – He didn't know how to explain this to her.
"Has this anything to do with professor Montes?" – Now she knew what he wanted to say… She let go of his hands. For a moment they both sat in silence. Silence.. He didn't need to say anything else, she knew it was about her… the silence said it all.
"Yes. It has something to do with Alicia." – Now she was really worried he didn't even denied it, so it had to be important for him. She wanted to scream, she had lost him…
"But not in the way you think." – He looked at her hands playing nervously with a pen she had took after letting go of his hands.
"Is she… interested in you?" – She know that question was stupid, she had seen the way the professor looked at Harm, and she didn't blame her, she studied his face… he was so handsome. Those beautiful blue eyes, that perfect smile… everything in him was so perfect.
"Might be." – He didn't know where their conversation was going, this wasn't supposed to be like this. He had have this conversation in his mind thousands of times in the last days and this was getting worst every second. After every word she was further away from him, even their distance in the couch seemed to grow as they talked and he was afraid to take her hands again to make her feel what he was feeling…
"Are you interested in her?" – She couldn't look at him right now, the professor was an intelligent and beautiful woman and he was free, they didn't have anything more than a friendship.
"Right now, I'm just interested in you." – That was it. He had said it. He had nothing to lose anymore. Their friendship was fading away and they only had a working relationship lately.. so, what he could lose?
She looked surprised. Of all the possible answer that was the last thing she expected to heard. And now she didn't know what to say.
"Look, as I told you, I don't want to pressure you and push you into something you don't want, but I need something Mac… you have to give me something. " – He ran his hand through his hair – "I can't wait forever. I don't want to be old and… alone."
He really looked worried about that.
"You are not going to be alone Harm…" – He didn't let her go on.
"Mac, if you tell me to wait I'll wait. No matter how long it takes. But what if… what if you are never ready? What if you realise this is not what you want?"
Now he was the one playing with a pen, so she closed the distance between them and took one of his big hands in hers.
"This is not easy for me either Harm. I don't know what I want or when I'll be ready for this, all I can say is that I'm here now." – He caressed her small hand with his thumb, closed his eyes and opened them again slowly… His gaze was so intense that she felt hypnotised…
"You have to give me some... hope. – He looked so sad, she had never seen him like this and this conversation was the most sincere and honest they've ever shared. She lied to him, she knew what she wanted, all she wanted was there in front of her and she had to give him something to believe in her, to believe in 'them', so she let go of his hands and cupped his face with her two hands looked directly into his soul and gave him a sweet kiss, letting her lips linger a little longer in his. He rested his forehead in hers and closed his eyes, his hands were now caressing her back and he was breathing faster than usually. He was trying to control the situation, to hold inside all he was feeling. And she couldn't see him like this, so weak, so vulnerable… She gave him another small kiss.
"I'm scared." – At her words he finally opened his eyes.
"Why?" – His hands started to caress her back again and her hands were now all over his head.. caressing his face, his neck, his hair…
"What if I make you wait and then…" – She closed an instant her eyes and looked down. He lifted her chin with his finger to make her look at him…
"And then…?" – She opened her eyes, he was so close that she could feel his breathing, and he was so handsome…
"What if I can't make you happy?" – For the first time since she entered his apartment he smiled, it wasn't a full flyboy smile, but it was a start.
"You'll make me happy. I don't have any doubt about that. We'll make it work. I promise you I'll do anything to make this work… ANYTHING."
"So…" – She caressed his face again, she couldn't stop touching him. Her fingers were memorising every centimetre of his face.
"Tell me when you are ready."
She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and put her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. He closed his eyes as she make her self comfortable in the couch with him. She gave him a little kiss in his neck and closed her eyes falling asleep in his arms.
That was more than he needed. He would wait. Forever if it was necessary.