A/N: Hey! This is another story. I'll probably continue this. This one is set at the beggining of season 1, when Lily and Rufus reconnect. If you want to contact me for opinions or suggestions, my tumblr is mrssgeller, I would love to hear from you. Please review!
She was still the same.
That was the first thought that came to Rufus' mind when Lily left his gallery, after a particular nostalgic (and emotionally difficult) conversation. He hadn't seen her in years, the last time was on the cold New York streets, when he was running errands and she was shopping. They bumped into each other and for a second neither of them knew what to say, the shock wouldn't let them. He was the first to talk. A couple of "How have you been?" were exchanged and its respective answers. Both minds were blind with past memories, and he remembered wondering how did they manage to go from "together forever" to an awkward (yet familiar) small talk. That day, at the gallery, he wondered the same think, but this time he had a feeling that it wasn't it. They would meet again, he could feel it, and very soon.
She was still so beautiful. The way she messed with her scarf and the way she smiled when she looked at him made Rufus conclude that she hadn't change a bit. Maybe she was a little more defensive of herself than she was back then, but in essence she was still the same Lily. She had been in the gallery for nearly tem minutes, but the atmosphere changed. He got a weird tingling in his chest. The kind of tingling that he used to experience when she was around, over twenty years ago, when he was waiting backstage for her after his concert. Did she like the show? He remembered thinking. It used to be exciting, having feelings like that. But after she left, he began to hate that. He didn't allow himself to feel like that after all that had happened. However, in that moment, he couldn't help it. And it terrified him. It was messed up, he thought, that no matter how much time passes every movement of her, every word that came out of her mouth, the simple thought of her made him plagued with a sinking stomach, a pain in his chest and the relentless question "where did we go wrong?". He hated it.
Lily left Rufus' gallery with a goofy smile on her face after their talk. For a second it felt like 20 years ago. The insult war, the smiles and arrogant smirks back and forth, it was as if nothing had changed. His smile and subtle stubble made her feel butterflies in her stomach, just like it used to. But as much as she would like to daydream more and relieve those wonderful memories, she had a life to take care of. She wasn't the 19 year old passionate groupie anymore. She was a rich, famous, socialite mom, who had a lot in her hands. As she sat back in the back of her town car that headed to Manhattan, she felt her stomach drop. Why had she left him anyway? Oh that's right. She thought. My mother's money and our baby. That's why. Then, she felt that hint of nostalgia in her chest, like she usually felt when thought about him, about them. After she left him, she made a note to herself (that she never really followed) that the kind of person that genuinely cares about how your day went, listens to everything that goes into your mind and lets you know you're important to them and/or generally makes you feel cared for are the kind of people you should keep. She had learned that you're really lucky if you have them. And for a while she had. Him. She just didn't appreciate him enough. She knows that, maybe, she should had hold him tighter. She should have fight harder. But she couldn't. And still can't.