William Herondale was not supposed to love Tessa. For one, Jem was positively in love with her. Secondly, Jem was his best friend. If he loved Tessa, who was he to come between them. Thirdly, if he even allowed himself to love her and she returned the affection, it would be the death of her.
They could all try as hard as they wanted to understand, but no one ever would. They don't know what it's like to be alone and isolated. To never have a true love because the only thing you would do for them is hurt them. No matter how many times he was scolded for being rude or unkind to someone, he knew that he had to. They didn't understand. He was alone.
He loved Tessa from the moment he saw her but he had to hide his feelings. If she ever loved him back, well… Let's just say that wouldn't end well for Tessa or Will. If he was the cause for her death, he would never be able to live with himself. No matter how much he tried, though, he could not get her out of his mind.
She was beautiful. To him, she was the perfect angel sent down from heaven. He just wished she was there for him. All she could see him as was an arrogant, self-centered man who was rude to all but only saw himself.
If only he could find a way to show her otherwise.