The Beginning

Two years younger isn't that bad to have a crush on someone,you like them so much you make your self believe age doesn't matter it cease's to exist. In reality age matters there's something wrong with you if you like a guy whose in their 40's and your only fifteen.

I like someone, Hes two years older than me, I may sound like a creep but I know almost everything about him. He wants to be an actor and singer just like me, I guess that's why I'm so drawn to him like a magnetic pull. He also has good looks, problem is,is hes more active, goes to drama class and puts on performances and I'm a loser.

I know what a loser is and what qualifies for being one. I'm the definition, I'm constantly being left behind by so called friends, always feeling alone, being anti-social, and never noticed. I am invisible. Don't get me wrong being a loser isn't the end of the world I love how we all get together and aren't ashamed of being known for what we are.

Looks matter I don't care who you are if you say they don't that's a flat out lie. We live in a world where people vote for student government based on their looks and popularity status, it doesn't matter if the really smart girl or guy worked hardest for the job, the better looking always gets it. I have long straight dark hair. Hey don't get me wrong or go jumping ahead, just because I say that doesn't mean I look hot. I could look like king kong with blown out hair. My hair falls to the middle of my back, I'm in the middle of chubby and chubby at that awkward stage where you cant tell if I'm loosing or gaining weight. I have acne and pimples all over my face it's like a never ending game of connect the dots, I'm also five feet two and have deep hazel brown eyes, they change color with my mood. I'm PuertoRican, Dominican, with a little bit of Filipino and a little Irish. Id say I have a nice smile if you like staring into white lights. Hygiene is something I always cherish with my full heart. Who wants to be friends with someone who stinks.

As years past in junior high I grew tired of the teasing and the heart aching sadness I always felt. People didn't want to go near me, they feared I was contagious and if they came close they would automatically be but into my category as nothing. I knew if I didn't do something depression would settle in and I would kill myself, the world is a nasty and cruel place to live in. I could no longer keep telling myself that I am superior to all those around me, tired of giving myself stupid and useless pep talks in the mirror every morning. I was tired of only making it through the day with my two friends Samantha and Morgan which I don't have anymore.

When I moved from Texas I left my two best friends. To me it seemed like you can only have two best friends, when you have a lot it's guaranteed you will have a fake one in the mix. Best friends stay with you through thick and thin, you share money and don't ask for paybacks, best friends don't ditch you once a new maybe better offer comes along. They are flat out and tell you the honest truth no matter how hard it might be for you to hear, someone who doesn't care how you dress or how much money you have, someone who knows your past, your craziness and weirdness, they know your completely insane but choose to stay because you guys are family. Now that I moved I am occasionally ditched by my so called friends.

I got sick of everything, tired of being chubby and called flubber bubber, tired of being the girl who has no friends and is invisible so I did something about it. I got up every day in the summer and worked out, itook care of my face and by the end I was hot and I knew it. Its the warm summer and high schools about to begin I am a new person.

"Maddie your going to be late its the first day for gods sake" my moms voice carried up to my room, rushing me.

"God mom I wish you would shut up and let me be late" I shouted harshly towards her.

"I am your mother and I will be respected in this house, your grounded" she hollered back.

As I made my way out the door angry and furious at her she wished me good luck but, I didn't care the anger got the best of me, "I hate you" I told her closing the door.

I trotted off to school still having hate in my chest trying to put those thoughts to the back of my mind. I was happy at the new attention I was getting. Some girls don't like being whistled at but this just made me more certain at how much I transformed when a group of guys were doing it to me! That never happened to me before.

When I got to school it wasn't anything like the streets, people were already in their groups and yet again I was invisible it didn't matter that I was pretty or that I had a new hair style, I will always be that little loser,the anti-social awkward girl.

I don't know what made me do it but I did, "Hi Darren" I screamed as he passed flawlessly.

Darren Criss, the definition of perfection his dark curly hair and masculine properties made every girl melt. His exotic eyes made you feel warm and loved, when you look into them you could feel his acceptance radiating to you. He had a voice like an angel and when he sang it would be as if you died and the bright lights of heaven were pulling you up. You could tell he was built, I swear I would die if his huge arm and body was wrapped around mines, flesh to flesh, that's what every girl dreams about. I don't have a chance.

"Hi Maddie!" he says with enthusiasm, he gives me a warm and welcoming smile that makes my legs go numb. I didn't know how he knew my name we never talked or even said hi to each other.

The rest of first period was like a blur I was floating all I could think about was him, funny how one thing, one small thing can make your day. I snapped out of it when I heard my name on the loudspeaker.

"Maddie Gonzalez, Please report to the guidance counselors office immediately", startled I packed my books and headed out with everyone whispering behind my back. Was there something they knew that I didn't?

Chapter 2