Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.
A/N: A lil something to help push past my writers block.
Keep Walking
It's four in the morning, Leah, and I'm watching you sleep. Your hair is fanning out across the pillow, as long as you can keep it without tripping over it when you're phased. You still miss it. I catch you looking in the mirror sometimes, running your fingers through it and sighing softly to yourself. You don't cry, because you're not that kind of girl anymore but there's a sadness in your eyes that makes my heartache.
We've had a good few years together, haven't we, Lee? And I'll raise my glass to many more. Who would have thought my idea of hell would turn out to be so perfect?
Can you remember that day? Me and my imprint. You and your screaming fit. It was never supposed to happen to you, you yelled at me and your words cut deeper than I liked. For a while, it felt like all we ever did was fight it. I never realised how much it was worth until it broke and I could see you in front of you. And I mean, really see you.
I'm not going to lie and say everything has been perfect for us. It hasn't. You're the most stubborn and contradictory girl I know. You can be a real bitch sometimes, Leah. Embry and Quil have both asked me why I put up with you (their words, not mine) and I couldn't answer either time. I don't know. I don't know what it is that makes me miss you when you're not there. It's not imprinting, I'm not even sure it's love sometimes. All I know is that when we're together, everything seems right. A mismatched fit but it works for us. Maybe we've played outside of the rules for so long that even fate can't keep us in line.
We both know what choosing this path means. You've thrown it in my face so many times. We'll never chase our children around the garden or bounce our grandkids on our knee. It's just going to be you and me forever, or at least until we get bored enough to stop phasing. On a bad day, you think of all the things you can never give me and I tell you that the only thing I want is you.
Bella wasn't too happy when I broke the imprint, was she? I remember how she accused you of stealing her daughter's future and you showed her just how fragile a vampire is when Leah Clearwater is pissed off and looking for someone to blame. Apparently, it took them six hours to stick her arm back on and you laughed all the way home. I should have been horrified, ran and never looked back, but really I was kinda proud. Nobody messes with my girl. I learned that the hard way.
I could hear you crying that same night. Not about Bella or Nessie, but because some little spark of conversation reminded you of something your dad used to say. If I could do one thing in the world, I would give him back to you. I know it's the one that hurts most of all. More than Sam and Emily, more than becoming a wolf. I never really recognised your pain before because you never showed it. Now I could kick myself for being so blind and uncaring. I'm trying to make it up to you, Lee. It's hard because sometimes you push me away but then others, you let me in just a little and that's enough to make me keep trying.
Part of me dreads you waking up because I never know what's in store. You might smile when I cuddle you, or you might slap my hands away and tell me to stop being so stupid. It's a great big surprise from one minute to the next and I can never guess which side the coin will fall with you, Leah. I wish I could. It would save us a lot of arguments.
Sometimes when I feel like I'm getting nowhere with you, I imagine how things would have been if hadn't broken the imprint. I'd be living in my perfect home with my perfect woman and my life would be perfect. No arguments, not stress, no spontaneous phasing at three in the morning because you can't wait a few more hours to yell at me. An easy life, some might say, but then you'd never cuddle up to me because you had a bad dream and I wouldn't see your eyes flicker, just for the briefest moment, when I tell you I love you. I wouldn't hear you whisper it back when you think I'm sleeping.
It's been a long hard slog, Leah. That;s the truth and I'd put money on it that it's far from over. We're probably going to be stuck travelling this crazy, weatherbeaten road until we're both dead. Knowing our genes, we'll probably be walking it forever, but I want you to know, Lee, that there's no one I'd rather walk with than you. However long it takes to get to our place, the place where we can be happy, I'll keep walking as long as you keep walking with me.
It's the hardest thing we've ever done, but, hey, we've made it this far.
******************************