You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
It was true; Tino wasn't the strongest person among the people who represented their individual countries, but it wasn't as if he was completely incompetent. He remembered when they ran away together. Berwald (or "Su-san," as Tino came to call him)…the name was of utmost importance to the small nation. Both Sweden and Finland were both controlled by Russia at a certain point in time…it had been quite a long time ago so the number of days and exact times were a blur. All Tino found important to remember was the way Su-san grabbed his hand and stole him away from Russia.
Sweden and Finland…they were no longer under the command of another country, yet, they weren't exactly independent countries either. Sweden, being much more domineering, decided to take the smaller nation for himself. Though Finland wanted to protest…to say that he wanted to be independent…that he wanted to be his own country once more, but, he didn't have the strength. And, as he would soon learn, Sweden wasn't as terrifying as he thought and would be one of the greatest defeats he'd had.
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met
The Suede ran a hand through his hair…it was longer than he normally liked to keep it, but he hadn't much choice when occupied. He looked at the small Finnish man, an apathetic expression on his face, though his eyes seemed to dictate something else. How strange…Finland thought as he stared back, the violate irises meeting the cerulean ones until the taller man looked away. He looked deep in thought as he surveyed his house (which had been ransacked when Russia invaded). He knew it was in much disrepair, but, it was in much better condition than Finland's.
Sweden removed the scattered papers that had covered his floor. The wood was stained with his blood as well as Finland's and many others; a blatant reminder of how he'd failed to protect something so precious to him.
Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once
He sighed heavily and looked at Finland. "W'r g'na sha'r th' b'd," he stated, his voice staying monotone and flatter than ever. Finland looked at him in shock. "Sh-share the bed?! Wh-why!?" he stuttered. Sweden sighed once more before saying "H'v n'thin 'lse." Finland grew quiet, only being able to mutter out a small "O-oh…" Finland sat on the edge of the bed and looked away…it had just hit him how badly Su-san's situation was. As he contemplated this, Sweden went to the kitchen and grabbed a loaf of bread; it was all he had to offer at this point in time…everything else was gone. He returned and held it out for Finland, "Eat," he said clearly. Finland looked up at him, "B-but…S-su-san…what about…" Sweden simply looked at him, his eyes ordering him to eat something.
Finland nodded and ripped off a piece and ate. Sweden had nearly nothing…but still he was sharing it all with Finland…Why? he asked himself…Why is he doing this for me? Once he'd snapped back into reality, he'd realized Su-san was gone. He panicked slightly and went to look for him; the haunting memories of him being stolen…it was enough to drive the young man to tears. None of it would be recorded in books either…nothing that would represent the true suffering they'd experience. He remembered praying night after night to just have the torture stop…but not even the bible would help them. It was terrifying to think it could possibly be happening again. Luckily, his fears were alleviated when he found the older man sleeping on the couch.
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met
Finland let out a disjointed sigh between small sobs. Sweden, whom was only half-asleep to begin with, sat up and looked at the other man. "S'wr'ng?" he grunted. Finland quickly wiped away his tears and smiled a bit, "N-nothing!" he stammered out, "I-I was just w-wondering why you were d-down here…"
Sweden shrugged, "D'n't w'nt t'sc're ya…" He looked out the window, up into the night sky. The stars had been his only company many a restless nights. He looked back at Finland, gently adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. Finland forced a smile, "Y-you know…you should get a haircut…y-your hair is quite long!" When he'd opened his eyes, he saw a pair of scissors in front of him. "C'n't d'it m's'lf…" Su-san admitted, looking a bit flustered. Finland noticed a few uneven pieces of where Sweden had tried to cut…he gave a soft smile before taking the scissors. "Why don't you come upstairs? It'll be easier…"
Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Sweden nodded in agreement and followed Finland back up to his room. Finland then instructed him to sit on the edge of the bed so he could get to all of his head easily. Before doing so, the Suede took the small man's face into his hands, staring at him a bit, eyes darting from his eyes to his hair. "Y'kn'w y'ha'r's g't r'd in't…" he stated quietly. It was true. The way the light was hitting Finland's hair, it showed the light flecks of red within the mass of blonde strands. Finland gently pushed his bangs to the side and shook his head. "Actually, I had no idea…then again, I suppose I don't pay much attention to myself," he laughed lightly. Sweden lifted his chin and looked at him seriously. "Y'sh'd…y'beaut'f'l…" Finland's cheeks became warm…he quickly brushed away the other man's hands and said that they'd better get started on his hair unless they wanted to be up all night. Sweden nodded, but was not deterred by the Finnish man brushing him off; the blush that he'd received was evidence enough for him that he'd not been denied.
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light
Snip after snip, the light brown hair fell to the floor. Finland worked hard to remember exactly what Su-san's hair looked like before…Sweden gently shook his shoulder. Unaware that the man had even moved, let alone got up, Finland found himself jumping at the touch. Sweden swiftly pulled his hand back, worried he'd scared the young man once more. "S'ry…J's w'nt t'say…y'did a'r't…'sp'ci'ly s'nce t'l'ts n't th't g'd." He was right…the lighting had a sort of yellow tinge to it, but, Finland shook his head in disagreement. "N-no…it doesn't look right…I'm sorry…" His eyes welled up with tears; he felt completely useless…Su-san had done everything for him, and he couldn't even cut his hair correctly. Sweden's stoic expression had a feeling of softness to it for once. He didn't like seeing Finland so upset…he never wanted to see such a sad expression of such a sweet face.
He kissed Finland.
Finland's eyes widened, his pupils dilating in pure shock. He could feel his heart beating right out of his chest. He was completely mixed when it came to how he should react…Should he push the taller man away, or just give in? Before he could make a decision, Sweden pulled away and looked at him, slightly pained at not getting anything back. Finland simply looked at him, mouth open like he wanted to say something…but nothing came out. Neither of them spoke for the rest of the night, both keeping their distance from the other…both replaying the scene in their mind until the morning, questioning where they went wrong. The next day was just as silent as the night…eerie, tense, unnerving…neither of them knew what to say. They simply went through the day as if it were routine, avoiding contact and most definitely avoiding their eyes meeting throughout the entire day and evening.
Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once
Sweden had fallen asleep on the bed. Though Finland desperately wanted to be away from this man for the time being, he couldn't bring himself to wake him. He slipped into the bed as seamlessly and silently as he could. Even though he'd tried so hard, the other man's eyes fluttered open, their gaze focusing and fixing itself on Finland. He blushed lightly and put his glasses on so he could completely read the other's face.
It looked scared and completely worried about what the reaction might be. Finland stressed over how Sweden would react to him basically turning him down the night prior. He wanted to destroy this wall that he felt he'd built between them, but it seemed as if they were completely solid and as if neither would be able to ever press through. Finland sighed lightly, "S-su-san…I…" Before he could say another word, the Suede scooped him up into his arms. It was one swift motion and before he knew it, he was mere inches, no, centimeters from the cerulean eyes he'd so longed to stare in. Finland gave Sweden a quick look-over and noticed his shirt was unbuttoned slightly. He noticed darker spots on the pale skin. Finland gently pulled a button apart from its hole to see what it was.
Scars. Covering him. All over him. And he'd said nothing…not one word or complaint. Finland looked up at him, eyes filling with tears. He had no idea that Su-san had gone through such pain…
" 'L t'pr'tct ya…" he said quietly, " C'n't h'v th'm t'chin m'w'fe…"
"W-wife?" Finland sputtered out, "H-hey! I'm not—" Before he could protest more, he felt a softness against his lips, silencing him. This time, there was no resistance or shock…he simply closed his eyes, tears being squeezed out and rolling freely down his flustered cheeks, and kissed back. He never wanted to break away…he didn't want to be separate from Su-san...his Su-san.
Eventually, the need for oxygen was greater than their passion. They broke their kiss and looked at each other, both a little bewildered from how the other reacted. It had so much emotion, much more than Sweden portrayed, but it was not a product of force that Finland had feared. Finland found himself burying his face into the combination of soft skin of Sweden's chest and the cloth of his shirt. He inhaled Sweden's scent, the one that he found to be so intoxicating…
Sweden gently reached a large hand down and pet the small country's head with caution; as if his mere touch would break the fragile man. He managed to muster up enough voice to say "Love ya…" Finland looked up, face completely doused in a red hue. "S-su san…" he smiled, before cupping the other man's cheek in his hand, "I love you, too…I've always loved you…you're my first love…" Sweden turned a dark red before capturing Finland's lips into one more heated kiss. When he pulled away he simply said:
You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first