DISCLAIMER: RINATSU DOES NOT OWN INUYASHA OR STAR WARS, BUT SHE DOES OWN THIS GOT DAMNED PLOT SO DON'T STEAL IT OR I'L HAVE MY PEOPLE CONTACT YOUR PEOPLE SO THAT I CAN SUE YOU. I MEAN IT. MUHAHAHA, JK I MIGHT NOT SUE BUT I WILL KICK YOUR ASS. JK AGAIN. MAN I LOVE MY JOB.
Rinatsu- Hmmm…… guess what?
Sesshomaru: Do tell since we're all so anxious to know
Rinatsu- Well even if your tone is a slight bit sarcastic I'm still going to tell you anyway.
Sesshomaru- It was very obvious from the beginning, Child.
Rinatsu- You did not just call me a child you, you, dirty old man!
Sesshomaru: You've just proved my point, Little one.
Rinatsu: Whatever I'm so not listening to your smart ass remarks
Sesshomaru: Would you rather I be a dumb ass?
Rinatsu: NO! I want you to shut up! Now back to what I saying. I'm going to practice little short stories so I can make my huge story pretty spectacular, and I need to do this so that I can become a better writer.
Sesshomaru: Now that you have ended your ridiculous and obvious strive to improve can you get on with the story mortal?
Rinatsu: Because I'm the author I'm going to destroy you in this story!
Sesshomaru: You wouldn't.
Rinatsu: Just watch me.
Sesshomaru: Disgusting mortal.
Rinatsu: You overgrown puppy, get over it you brought this upon yourself! Now the story shall commence.
Once upon a time there lived a beautiful and almost god-like demon. Everything about him was perfect, except for the stick that was slightly lodged in his a-, um apple. Yeah, it was lodged in his apple, and it was there because the author is the almighty in this story. So as the beautiful Rinatsu was saying, there was a stick lodged in his apple.
The ethereal being was magnificence in the flesh. He was everything a girl could hope for. He was deadly, majestically male (which includes the wash board stomach, nicely sized biceps, and gorgeous face that belongs on the cover of 'The World's top 100 Sexiest Men Alive', and of course he's number one.), and his long silver silky hair belonged on an herbal essence commercial. He was every woman's fantasy, and even in some cases men.
He had been working all day and it seemed he could never shake off that annoying secretary of his. I mean what did it take for the damned wind bitch to get a clue.
She obviously had no shame what-so-ever, and it became more apparent to him during the 1st and last week of her employment, that the only reason she applied was for the benefits and bonuses, and no the amazing author does not mean money.
She often came in his office asking what he needed when he specifically told her that she could easily buzz him, but no. She wanted him to see what the prostitutes were modeling now days. And to avoid any mental images we'll just say that her outfits were very revealing instead of concealing. (a/n: haha… that rhymed)
He sat back in his huge mahogany desk remembering those wonderful memories from yesterday morning.
FLASHBACK
" Good morning Sesshy-Sama. How are you?" the wind sorceress inquired as she burst through his office door, and stocked her prey while he sat behind his rather large desk.
" I would be well, but you are prohibiting my good health," he said rather annoyed that the wind witch thought she was going to get some from him, he the Lord of the Western Domain, well she had another thing coming.
It wasn't his fault the last time he slept with her. It just happened to be mating season, and she was the only female in within 3 feet that was on a hormone high, and if she thought that after 2 months of knowing her before her employment, and one hell of a coyote ugly date, that he was going sleep with her again, she really must be a crack whore.
She wore a sleazy black pin stripe business suit, with a blazer and a corset that exposed most of her unbound bosoms, and a mini skirt that came to her upper thighs completely exposing her long legs, and she completed the look with black hooker heels, a messy bun and too much makeup. It seemed like the only thing she was missing was a pimp in a purple suit.
"Awe, Sesshy-Sama, I would never dream of making you ill. Why must you tease me so? You do know how much I care about you. I know you're always busy, but maybe this once you could be busy with me," and with that the fake slut feigned sorrow, and began to cry a river as she hunched over exposing her breasts, but our intelligent Sesshomaru was not amused.
"Woman, I have had enough of your non-sense and if you do not cease your foolish antics, stop calling me Sesshy- Sama, and get back to work then I will throw you out of my office," he said on the verge of becoming very angry.
"You know," she said as she side stepped his desk and got close enough to whisper in his ear, " I love it when you throw me around," she whispered suggestively, but what he did next shocked her.
" Well I'd like to throw you around right now," he said in a deadly whisper as a ghost of a smile appeared on his face. This was going to be fun.
"Well why don't you give it a try, lover?" that was all the Dog lord needed to continue towards his plan of action. So with her consent, he picked up the ruby-eyed whore who was scantily dressed, and held her bridal style.
" How would you like me do this?" he asked in his husky voice with a deadly gleam in his eye as he held the disgusting woman who seemed to be enjoying her predicament, but just about any woman would love to be held in his arms. (The author would)
"I like it rough and fast, lover," she said sensually as she closed her lustful eyes anticipating her prize, but all of a sudden he began to walk briskly towards his opened window, but she didn't know because her eyes were closed.
"Are you that anxious?" she said surprised and amazed at how she had worked her charm on him, but his reply was swifter than she had expected it to be.
" You have know idea," he said getting slightly pissed off with the foul smelling arousal coming from the sickening woman. He was ready to get this over with, and all he had to do was ask her one final question.
" Will you promise me that you will not open your eyes?" he said softly, but his eyes were a dead give away that something was about to go haywire.
The wind sorceress was a little hesitant to answer, but her reply came soon.
" Of course silly don't you know that I would do ANYTHING for you?" she questioned in an almost pathetic voice that made the author feel sorry for her, but not that sorry.
And with that blind question, she was thrown out of the window only to land one minute later in about 4 pieces or more.
And when she finally hit rock bottom, Sesshomaru yelled down to her his last response to her.
"Then it shouldn't be much of a problem now, being that I requested your death," he said on the verge of laughing his firm ass off, but we all know that the Western Lord does not laugh, he smirks.
End Of Flashback
(Present Day)
Even though he had been glad to be rid of her, he now had to hire his faithful minion Jaken, to be his secretary until he could replace the one he had just kil-, err, gotten rid of.
But before any secretary was going to be given employment he was going to interview all of those that would be considered, just incase he had another Kagura on his hands.
Kami knows he had endured her for as long as any sensible man could (a week), and even that felt like an eternity in hell. Anyone like her would most certainly not last.
In less than 5 minutes, he was going to interview the very first person that had the most experience, and the best credentials out of the five applicants that were chosen.
If the contestant managed no to offend, disgust, attempt to mutilate, or even violate The Inu- Lord then he would be considered, but if they did any of the aforementioned things they were looking at 25 years to life in the netherworld.
The time was rolling around and suddenly; the interviewee had arrived 3 minutes before the interview. He walked in the huge building and stopped at the main desk to inquire where his interview was to take place.
The strange woman told him that he was to get on the elevator take the 4th floor and then he would be directed toward his interview.
She also told him that he should use Garnier Fructise, so that he could add extra shine to his hair, but he shrugged off her helpful comment and put his trailing thoughts in the back of his mind until he scheduled an appointment to see his hairdresser tomorrow. As of now, he was more concerned about seeing a certain hottie, and boy did he want to see that, not only that but a job would really help where shopping is concerned.
' A divo like me can not just keep spending money he doesn't have,' he thought as he rode the elevator to the 4th floor.
' Not only that, but papa needs a new pair of alligator shoes, and I need to call Renee to see if she has more Armani shoes available in size 12, he would just love them,' and he sighed in contentment thinking about his special someone.
The elevator finally came to a halt and he gated down the corridor until he reached yet another main desk. Only this time there was an ugly green thing sitting in the chair.
"Are you here for the interview sir?" the toad-like being said in a high shrilly voice.
"Why yes I am," the confident man spoke.
"Well you are late, and Sesshomaru-Sama does not like to be kept waiting," said the annoyed Yoda, um, toad man.
" Then inform your boss that I am here so that I may be done with this interview, besides what's 5 seconds late going to affect?" he said getting quite pissed with the ugly thing.
While the green man contacted his Lord, the stylish man began thinking to himself.
'What the hell is he? A water thing? Does he even know? I don't know what the hell he is or what he thinks he is, but if he doesn't show me where this damned interview is he could quite possibly make me straight. I have never seen a male that looked so… hideous.' His thoughts concluded when he realized that the damned thing had finally stopped talking.
"Lord Sesshomaru will see you now, Jakotsu-San," and he pointed the way to the mysterious man's office.
As Jakotsu entered the powerful youkai Lord's office, he sat in the chair reserved for him, and he trembled with excitement, but he did his best to hide his brief "enjoyment."
He had been shocked to say the least when he had received a phone call saying that he had an interview. This was truly a once in a lifetime opportunity, and he wanted to reap the benefits, all of them, and he had more than just money on the brain.
But the author had a suspicious feeling that there wouldn't be any satisfaction to be had, at least not from Jakotsu's receiving end.
Sesshomaru had a stern expression, and he had hardened his gaze ten fold when he realized that the male was excited, but just as swiftly as it had come, it had gone. So he brushed off his instincts, and figured that it was just the recent smell of the non-existent Kagura.
"It would seem Mr. Kurasaki- Jakotsu, that you are highly qualified for this job, but before you can assume the position, you must describe all that you do," the words rolled off his tongue in a very professional matter.
"Well, sir I had no idea that you were looking for that kind of action. If I had known that, I most certainly wouldn't be dating my darling Bankotsu. He simply is amazing, but I would be more than willing to assume any position that you wanted me in. I can lie down on my-" but he was cut off by a disapproving voice.
" Excuse me? That is not what I was referring to. I was referring to the occupation. Does it even look like I, Lord Sesshomaru, would be interested in you or any man on earth for that-," he began only to be interrupted.
" What the hell do you think I came here for? Is this what you do to hurt others? I came here to be with you and this is how I get treated? I would never two time Bankotsu with anyone that was even remotely similar to the likes of you," and with that the divo walked out with his hands on his hips and turned back to do something that Sesshomaru had not for seen.
" By the way don't you have a brother, I believe his name was Inu-hottie. He is so cute. How about you give him my number and have him ring my bell. I just love those sexy puppy ears of his. I can think of many ways to enjoy myself with-" his mind trailed in dangerous places and he grinned as he took out a pen and paper from his pocket and began writing down his digits. Sesshomaru tried not to cringe.
"If you do not leave this instance, know that you will never see tomorrow," a frustrated Sesshomaru began.
" Oh relax! Don't get your briefs in a bunch. I'm only asking for you to give my number to Inuyasha," he said trying to calm the handsome lord down and it worked.
Sesshomaru thought about it for awhile. 'If I actually give the miserable whelp this fool's number, then maybe this Sesshomaru can have peace, I'll just tell that half-breed that it's some wench's number. Yes my dear little brother, payback is a bitch in heat.'
"Very well, but you must leave the number with Jaken at the front desk, and Bankotsu…"
Sesshomaru smiled mischievously.
"Yes dear?" he asked in anxiety.
" Ask Jaken for Inuyasha's contact numbers, he also goes to club Shikon every Friday and Saturday night. Note that if you ever show up at my office again I will not hesitate to kill you," he said obviously annoyed.
"Lighten up will ya? I got what I came here for. Goodbye Fluffy-kins," and with that Jakotsu high tailed out of Sesshomaru's office like a bat out of hell, knowing that his little term of endearment would cost him.
'What did I do to deserve this?' he thought in misery. Maybe he should just keep Jaken as his secretary and be content that he wouldn't hit on him like the others. No, that would be mistake. He would only drive him to the brink of insanity, so he was definitely going to keep looking.
Sesshomaru: Rinatsu……
(Author runs away)
Sesshomaru: Rinatsu
(Sesshomaru catches up to Rinatsu and captures her)
Sesshomaru: I think I should kill you… now!
Rinatsu: But what would my death accomplish?
Sesshomaru: It would ensure the end of my suffering.
Rinatsu: I think the audience may have liked it. Omg! It's Kagura!
Sesshomaru: Where is the witch? –Sesshomaru looks for her, meanwhile Rinatsu escapes-
Rinatsu: muhahaha, sucker!
I hope you guys enjoyed I've never even attempted to write a short one before, I actually kind of like it so I could possibly make it longer.
Peace Out Readers!