Summary:

Yo had always been able to see situations very clearly. He could not help but note the potentials & machinations of others. It was a gift he had always used towards selfish needs; to ensure his own success and survival. However, as the end grew near, he decided to use this gift towards a penance, and perform a single act of kindness, to possibly shelter her from the storm he knew would come.

Note:

This is a one shot. Set after Yo falls ill, and recovers, as he ponders Jung's requested boon - when offered anything but the throne.

DISCLAIMER:
I do not own Scarlet Heart Ryeo. This is an imaged fictional moment imagined by me and superimposed on the series characters and story line. I do not gain anything from this.

Penance: A Single Act of Kindness

Yo tried to breath deeper, setting off a coughing spell, as his lungs filled with a heaviness that would not leave despite his deeper breathing. His heart fluttering wildly, in an irregular way he had never felt within his chest. Yet the fluttering only hid the underlying vague ominous tightness within his chest. There was a sense of doom within his body. The irony of life and fate was truly cruel. A derisive smile stretched upon his lips as he lay drenched in sweat upon his bed; alone.

He lay thinking, how it was he got here…

During his youth, despite feeling proud of his foresight into character and drives of others, he had never understood his father.

Yo had been nothing but a talented and prodigal son who had strived continuously, in every moment and every action for recognition from the man (his father), who never gave it. Taejo had never been a father to him, but always his King. As a child, he had held father in awe- doing everything in his power to prove that he was the best son of all . He had only wanted his father's love and recognition, his affection and protection.

It had not been so simple, given who his mother was . From childhood, Yo had been told what was rightfully his had been taken; and that his father's love would be shown only by whom he chose to sit upon the throne. Even as a mere child, Yo had understood his mother enough to know that if he was less than perfect, and anything less than a king in his future; he would not amount to anything in her eyes. There had been no unconditional maternal love to fill in the gaping spaces in his heart. Therefore, he had long ago decided to ensure he would always be beloved, by ensuring he met those expectations. He had thought once he achieved them, then perhaps the unconditional flow of affection would follow.

Taejo in return, however distanced his mother and her sons as much as possible, and was stoic and distant in his affections for Yo. That recognition which he so craved as a boy and youth, were never given. It was from that rejection, that Yo had turned to see the only way of ensuring and proving his worth (to his sire), was to force his way into that recognition ; By sitting upon the throne.

He chuckled to himself bitterly: Yes, there was much, that in hindsight became clear and outstanding. The realizations were to the point that you wondered how you lived life with such blindness. Reasons and reasoning, reality and delusions all stood out in stark contrast to mock you once everything was said and done. When death was upon you, it was as if everything slowed down, and suddenly everything that had been a blur along the sides of your vision came in focus, making you realize that what you had so far focused upon and seen, was in actuality but a mirage of true reality.

Yo heaved himself up ungracefully to sit. A wave of dizziness and shortness of breath soon followed. There was an ever present lethargic fatigue that sapped his life. He could hear Eun's call for him to join the afterlife, and pay for all the sins he had blindly committed. Regret and guilt were his constant companions now, and he could feel them every moment of every day. What he had done to Eun was unconscionable, and he had found he could not live with himself after the fact. He had turned to Buddha and prayer to lessen the effect, and focus his mind upon but was aware it was nearly unhinging him, though he had not lost fully his facilities. It was mind numbing guilt, and not insanity that drove him. He had killed no other brother since then. He had found that he could not.

He looked towards his table, by his bedside, where a document he had written but not completed sat. It was awaiting his final authorization by sign and seal. He had intentionally put it off till now, hoping to drag out the promise. Now however Yo could hear the call of death. He was aware that there were very few things he could achieve in the little time he would have left. A desperate roiling sense of injustice and anger filled him as he realized , that like Mu , he had merely been a place-keeper in the end, and not much of a king. What had he truly achieved that would remind anyone of his reign? What had he achieved in his own personal life that he could be proud to leave behind?

He was the King of Goreyo, and yet here he sat alone, when sick. His wives had not come, nor had his sons. He would not even trust his mother nor Jung at this point. He was well aware that his brothers, So, Wook, Won and even Jung would leap the moment he weakened more to grasp for the throne. Had his father felt anything akin to this when on his own death-bed?

He should ask Hae Soo, he thought. She would know. She had seen two other kings die.

As he contemplated this question, Yo realized that no one but Hae Soo had been totally at Taejo's side in the end. Taejo had for days lay dying alone; Not wife, nor son, nor any of his kith or kin by his side until the very end. Yo chuckled hysterically. While his sire had died, likely realizing a very ultimate truth; his sons had been fighting like rabid dogs for a hallucination called the throne and the idea of being a king, and thereby thinking you could control anyone, much less the world. It was a falsehood ; one so great that when you realized it you would weep.

In a delusion, he had spent his precious life plotting to get here, upon the throne, only to realize that it was all a lie; a mirage. Such a waste…. a terrible ironic waste, though he supposed he could not fault himself. Yo was a prince, whose upbringing had ensured he would eye the throne. The Throne's siren's call was a lure no man could resist, if it was within his reach. Only when you fought and then sat upon it, did you realize the monsterous arrogance and abilities you were capable of channeling. Only when you sat upon it, did you realize the faces and masks others wore around you, thinking you could not see. He sneered derisively at himself as he thought, only when a man got here, would he realize that he was not the master, but the slave. The Throne seat's siren song, that had so lured him , would devour everything about him until only dust and bones were left behind. It was inescapable. As he watched the palace now- he felt nothing but a pang of failure and waste that resonated through his very core regarding his life and existence.

He moved along his bed towards the edge of his desk, where with shaky hands, his body trembling with the effort, he picked up the document he had failed to complete two days ago. Gasps of breath puffed out, as he put them upon his table once more, contemplating them and the issue critically. His mind, sharpened upon what he should do now.

He heard the doors open , followed by the soft sweep of her gown as she entered his room. She had been ill for two days, apparently, while he had been near death's door. However, when he had awoken, he had never been so relieved to have her at his beck and call. Now only Hae Soo attended to him and his needs daily, on his own sick-bed. No one but she would he trust; despite all his sins against her. He watched her slim form float into his room, as she went to rustle behind the tea hutch, to make him his medication and tea.

Looking at her glowing face and slender form, he felt at ease. Yo would not deny that his seething fury at everything around him, imploded often, and that he had taken it out on her often. She took it all without one single complaint. He had caged her in Damewon beside him, tormented and hurt her while damaging her emotionally in his quest for throne and for control. However, despite all his sins, he trusted this one woman- Hae Soo- more than any other around him. How Ironic.

He watched her, as she mixed his medicinal tea, with cups softly clinking, her face serene. It calmed him just to look upon her; his breath came easier, and the heart pain seemed to ease. Despite the hell he had created for her, she was the only thing in the palace that brought him any sense of serenity.

He recalled one night , long ago, when he had contemplated this magical creature, and felt that there was nothing worthy about her to warrant the power and sway she held over his brothers. Watching her now, he had to admit that the only person at his side now, who had nothing to gain, was Hae Soo. The only person whom he would listen to, should she speak, and know without doubt, that her intention was not to harm nor gain anything from him at his weakest moment - was her. The very thought was enough to make him want to smash something; as he knew he had created hell for her in return. He could only ever keep her by his side, as her jailor and tormentor, and nothing more. The acute regret that filtered into him, hitched his breath, making him realized that he had spent his entire life with an absolute lack of insight into true worth of a person, until the very end. For now, he knew something he had not then: Hae Soo and her heart were worth more than the entire kingdom of Goreyo.

Yo suddenly felt more exhausted, as his brilliant mind instinctively contemplated her fate after he was gone. He could lie to others later, but not to himself. He knew his end would come, slow and sure in the next few weeks. Yo was already aware of So siphoning off funds towards building his own military force, and had suspected his brother would vie for the throne. His mother wished for a son she could control upon the throne, but in his bones Yo knew Jung would not be that man. So, on the other hand had been bred for this. If he were to name Jung or his own sons as heir, the palace walls would come to be painted red with their blood. His mother did not realize or care for this, for her greed and selfishness were so great. Wang So would be a powerful force upon Goreyo's throne, but even though he was a man not easily controlled, Yo knew (and had proven) that he could be. So had a weakness that would used again by others, when Yo was gone. A great weakness and strength all in one slip of a girl : Hae Soo.

Now that Yo had sat upon the throne, he finally understood his father very well. His mother should not control the throne. She was a greedy, short-sighted amoral woman whose ambitions would destroy their whole family. To her, the only protection he could give was distance from the throne. He would end her machinations here, and somehow protect his family . If So had spared him , Yo could only hope that So's sense of kin would protect the others if given what he wanted.

Other than the Yoo Clan, there were other powers at play, that would continue once he was gone. And with his death, the inhibitions upon these powerful players would be released. Yo stared at Hae Soo intently, innately aware, given his ability to find weaknesses and insight that this girl would be a target. After all, his own mother had done so and he himself had spent 3 years controlling her- the " Hidden Queen " who made the other princes dance. Even when Won had wondered, Yo had no doubt of her power over So and the others.

Now that he would no longer be her master puppeteer, he wondered about her fate. So and Hae Soo were in love. He had always known, and this was the reason he could control his brother. By doing so, he had created a distance between them. Yo was not a fool. He had pushed So enough into a corner, that to protect himself and Hae Soo, So had left her behind.

Yo was also very aware that So was aiming for the throne, to rid himself of Yo's control. His brother wished to have no master other than himself. In the end it was ironic how well he understood So, the one brother he thought he could never comprehend. Gimacing to himself, Yo realized that his second brother would be the next King of Goreyo. He wondered if there was any chance of So not taking the throne? But Yo knew that even if the throne went to Wook or Jung, So would be forced to get it, just to protect himself … and that the effect of Hae Soo would still move the princes in that way.

Yo knew that So loved Hae Soo , and in return- her affections lay with his second brother. However, she appeared to still move Wook and even Jung powerfully.

Jung had wished to be granted Hae Soo's hand in marriage. His discussion with Jung had been eye-opening. To think that it was Jung who would realize Hae Soo's true worth and needs…

When Jung had asked for her hand in marriage, Yo had not been ill. He had also been unwilling to give up his hidden ace and control point to Jung. However, Jung was not interested in an immediate marriage nor machinations for the throne. His youngest brother was a blunt soldier of plain speech, and that day his speech was direct and forthright. He had discussed how Hae Soo's torment and torture drove him (Jung)- , to offer the safe harbor of marriage. Jung was well aware his was a one- sided love with Wook and So as players in the game. His brother infact knew Hae Soo would not marry him now anyway, but still wished to have this for her. Yo had been amazed at how selfless Jung's request had been. His brother even agreeing to get her agreement to proceed with marriage, and not enforce it.

Jung wished to take her away from the palace, and away from Yo's hands. Yo; who tortured and tormented her, had never felt such an acute sense of loss and guilt , as he had at that moment. The sudden hollowness that panged through him with Jung's explained request resonated in him to date. It was an odd sense of loss, over someone who should only be a political hostage. Yet, it had bothered him deeply.

Yo had always prided himself in being a man of his word. He had promised Jung anything but the throne….and knew he would have to keep his word. However, at that moment to Jung, he had only given verbal acceptance, trying to delay the formalities till he could figure out why he felt such loss. The fit of rage he had felt after Jung's departure was not for losing a political piece to control others. No. Something in his gut had roiled against allowing anyone else to have Hae Soo, and the fact that he had given his word to grant Jung anything but the throne had left him bitter. Jung had astutely asked for the only real treasure in the palace.

Hae Soo flitted towards him, with his tea, which she served with the grace and daintiness of a fairy. Yo recalled there had been another time he had likened her to those magical creatures...and indeed she must be something magical to have made him feel as he had after Jung left. No one would have believed this woman could have elicited such a reaction from him. He could hardly process it himself. But encroaching death had a way of ensuring you could not lie to yourself.

Yo smirked bitterly into his tea cup, as he set it down, pulling the paper he had avoided for days towards him. He looked up to see Hae Soo waiting quietly with poise behind the tea hutch.

He could not believe that at one time, he had compared her to Yeon Hwa and considered her inferior. That at one moment in his life, he had found a woman like his step sister attractive was repugnant. He was aware that he had escaped her; a woman who was exactly like his mother.

Given his awareness of the power-plays to come, He had to wonder if So would be able to escape her . Yo could predict exactly whom she would target next, especially if So became the next King of Goreyo, as he suspected. In such a moment, Yeon Hwa would target both his political weaknesses and personal ones. Yo's eyes again shifted to the side to look at the magically kind girl he had imprisoned next to him for the past 3 years. She had wordlessly taken his abuse and suffered. She was a girl who had taken a whipping for her servant, and death to wrongly indicating someone else in regicide charges. She had only survive the first charge due to Lady Oh's sacrifice. In a decision to be used to hurt So or herself, Yo already knew: Hae Soo would sacrifice herself for his brother. She had already been doing so for the past 3 years. So loved this girl like no other, and yet had ability and ambition that would take him to the pinnacles of the world, where the political machinations to come would batter this woman in never ending succession. Her torment and torture would never end, and there would be no escape from it.

She who had unmasked a king, by changing his scarred face forever, would not survive the palace under his rule: This was a fact Yo could see more clearly than anything else. Her 3 year term with him, and that she had been framed twice for regicide before his reign proved that. His brother, despite his love for her, would in the end find her to be a liability that would tether and leash him once again. And like before, he would be forced to protect her by distancing himself. Yo had already watched his brother do this, with an awareness to his motivations that would have surprised So.

It was amusing, how he and So understood each other as brothers best. Not even his mother or Jung seemed to comprehend him as So did. In return, he (Yo) could clearly see what lay in So's mind and heart. After all it had been his own machinations upon So that had resulted in this bitter end.

Yo was very aware that his tethering of Wang So using Hae Soo, had resulted in a break in their relation. There was now a distance forced for her protection and his own self preservation on his brother's part, and Yo was very aware of having created it. The thought that after his death, others would do the same made sense. Surprisingly, Yo found himself unable to tolerate the thought of it.

To his sister, Yeon Hwa, the throne was everything; just like his mother. It was highly likely that So would rise to the throne, and if so, then Hae Soo would find herself pitted against Yeon Hwa. While Yo did not care much about So, Hae Soo , he realized was all together a different matter. As he watched her, the tiny creature who fluttered around his room, putting things in place and clearing up the tea hutch, he could recognize the harm he had done her. He had parted her- likely forever from the man she loved.

In a battle between the machinations of Yeon Hwa and others , Hae Soo would not win. Yo could bet his life on this fact. She would not be able to be a crowned queen. She did not have the greed and relentless ruthlessness for it. And Yo was very aware that So did not have the political support to ensure it either, even though she was the one who ruled his heart. Hae Soo was the true queen in this game, and yet would never achieve the throne. Some queens would remain hidden, uncrowned.

Just as the fact that all those who wore the crown, were not the true Queen.

He thought of his own mother, and wondered if she realized, that for all her pride and show, she was nothing. Even he, her own son, could see that. His mother was never really the queen despite her crown and title. Taejo had used her for political gain, and treated her without any love and only mistrust for his whole life. Those children she bore, had received little to no affection from their sire.

Looking again at the woman who had somehow wormed her way into an area of his heart that Yo had not realized existed, he now found Jung's marriage proposal to be an actual consideration of import to him.

How could he alter the cruel fate that would await her when his power no longer ruled this throne?

The weight of his past actions in order to sit upon the throne were heavy upon his mind. He had sinned greatly. Yo was astute enough to realized that prayer alone would not suffice. He would pay for his sins in his many lives to come… and starting now, he was aware that penance was needed.

He eyed the doe eyed beauty beside him standing straight, he slender form giving him assurance that what he was about to do was correct. Since when had she gained such worth to him? He was not sure. However, what he did know was that he had to ensure she was taken care of when he was gone.

Yo looked at the document upon his desk. As King, there were now only two decisions he could act upon which would yield results after he was gone. These decisions: They would alter the fate of Goreyo forever.

The first decision was that he would have to decide who would be the next king. He now understood that this would be his legacy. This decision would be for the people of the land and for the protection of his kith and kin….. but this ,he would not finalize today.

It was the second decision that was more important right now to Yo.

His second decision was this document that he had not finalized earlier, unwilling to give up something so precious to anyone, until the end. But now, he knew that while he could die without leaving a heir to the throne, he would not die in peace if he had not taken care of this. This second decision, Yo realized, was to protect something he had not realized he would want to shield; Someone he had come to understand and value more than anything and anyone else in all of Goreyo- Hae Soo.

As he sipped her tea concoction, he smiled to himself. He had been correct all those years ago- Hae Soo, she was was a true queen. Even now she moved kings and princes, and after him she would continue to do so as well, and Yo suspected very few fully understood her role in all that had happened and would continue to happen.

The tea warmed his chest as it wend down soothing his tumultuous thoughts, he could not help wonder: Who would have foreseen, that even he would be but a pawn to her in the end? He looked at her once more, marveling in the irony - that she didn't even know.

Now that the end was near, all selfishness was gone. Instead his mind was clear, and with that clarity he realized so much more than before. The throne would choose it's next owner and enslave them. Yo could already foresee its future. But other than the throne, there was only one other thing that wars would be waged for : Hae Soo. Unlike the throne, she was a treasure that could be irrevocably damaged in such a fight. His youngest brother , Jung had requested the most precious treasure Yo had within the castle to keep and protect. It was this marriage contract for Hae Soo and Jung, that Yo now contemplated with sincere forethought.

Jung had assured him that he would only use this when Hae Soo asked it of him. It would allow her a choice. With one last searching gaze in her direction, Yo signed and sealed the deed. With that , something lightened in him. "Give this to the Eunich to get to Prince Jung," he directed her, watching her slim shoulders straighten as she took the document now covered and sealed in her hand.

As he watched her leave, Yo wondered if she would ever understand the insight he had always had about people and their weaknesses, and that this deed was his one and only kindness to her in his life. He wondered if she would ever realize his true intent. Most of all , even if she never came to understand his intentions, he wondered if this shelter he would give her, would shield her from what he knew would likely come. It was his final penance : His only kindness to her…..one he hoped she never had to use.