Ronnie Anne was having quite an eventful day. First she and her BBF Sid decided to troll the police by skateboarding around the park, which isn't technically illegal but authority figures really hate skateboarding for some reason. Then they shoved hot dogs down their gullet until they puked, and then Sid hopped on Ronnie Anne's back and made her give her a piggyback ride all the way home, because she's sooooooooo random XD.
But then Ronnie Anne came home and was mortified to see that CJ, Carlino and Carlitos were gravely ill. They had... MEASLES!
"What the frickity frack?!" cried Ronnie Anne. "How can they have measles?! Didn't they get their shots?!"
The answer was no, they did not, and the blame was on their mother and Ronnie Anne's aunt, Frida. Right after CJ was born, Frida got an email forward that said that vaccines are being used by the government to give kids autism or turn the frogs gay or some shit like that, using scary buzzwords like "mercury" and "big pharma" and "George Soros". Frida, being an absolute dumbass, took the word of some internet rando over the word of her husband, a college professor, and her sister-in-law, a nurse. Carlos had no say in the matter, due to being a spineless cuck.
"Mama... we're dying..." croaked CJ. "Why didn't you have us vaccinated?"
"Vaccines are the devil!" yelled Frida. "I once heard Jenny McCarthy say that they have... chemicals in them!"
"Everything in the world has chemicals in it, you fucking dipshit," said Maria.
"Dumb-dumb!" said Carlitos, who even as an infant was smart enough to recognize that his mother fucked up.
But Frida paid them no mind and tried to heal her children with essential oils or crystals or prayers to Neo Bahamut or whatever pseudo-scientific crap the mommy bloggers are using nowadays. Rosa tried to help by kneeling in front of her shrine and chanting, "Abeles-kobeles, abeles-kobeles" over and over again. Predictably, it didn't work, they died, and they were all buried in t-shirts that read "I DIDN'T GET VACCINATED BECAUSE MY DUMB-AS-ROCKS MOM THOUGHT SHE KNEW MORE ABOUT DISEASE THAN THE DOCTORS WHO LITERALLY STUDY THAT SHIT FOR A LIVING".
And the moral of the story is VACCINATE YOUR GODDAMN KIDS YOU FUCKING MORONS.