The Thousand Sunny was really much larger than the crew often gave credit. As Usopp lounged on the soft grass on deck, it occurred to him that he has probably only entered less than half the rooms on the Sunny on any usual day. If he had a diagram of the ship, could he name each room and it's purpose? Maybe if he had help, like Robin or Nami. With their combined effort, the sniper imagines they could probably pull it off. He sat up and leaned against the main mast, rubbing a few blades of the eternally green and healthy grass between his thumb and forefinger in one hand while trying to count all the different locations onboard with his other.
"... kitchen, Franky's workshop, my workshop, library… ah…" he listed and quickly realized that he would soon need to use both hands several times before he finished.
The furry resident doctor began to stir a few meters away as he heard the long-nosed man mumble something under his breath. Chopper didn't mind, he came out to the lawn with Usopp an hour ago for a post-lunch nap. He wasn't really tired, but it seemed everyone else on the crew was busy and he never liked being alone for long if he could help it. Opening his brown eyes, he took a moment to appreciate the oddly peaceful and consistent open sky before turning to his friend, who had yet to notice the reindeer's movement.
Said friend was now completely starting over his list after realizing he said aquarium possibly for the second time. In actuality, it was the third time. Of course, Usopp realized he could just find Franky and ask him, but told himself it was too easy that way. Not to mention that the shipwright gave them all a tour when they first set sail with the new ship, and Usopp didn't want to be teased by him for not remembering. His train of thought was once again derailed when he heard the high-pitched voice of his recently asleep friend ask what he was counting.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Chopper. Did I wake you?" Usopp was trying not to wake the doctor, and worried that he spoke too loudly.
"Nah, I wasn't really all that tired anyway. Why are you counting?" On a do-nothing day such as this, Chopper was surprised he wasn't awoken by his captain's impatient proddings already. An hour nap on the Sunny was rare for those outside the sleeping quarters. Well, except for Zoro. But the young crewmember had a theory that the swordsman didn't sleep as much as he led the crew to believe. Before he could think more into the resident green-haired man's sleep, Usopp interrupted.
"I just realized that even though we live on this ship, I don't think I know it as well as I should. I mean, shouldn't I know my own home?"
Chopper put a hoof to his chin in thought, then quickly came to the same conclusion as Usopp. It made little sense that they lived aboard the Sunny yet wouldn't be able to give the entire tour if someone asked. The reindeer wasn't even sure how many rooms the Thousand Sunny had. Thirty? A hundred? A thousand? As the doctor and sniper amused themselves with the absurd number of possible rooms on the ship, they didn't notice the arrival of another behind them.
"Aw shucks! I think it's SUPER cool that you guys think of the Sunny as home!" Said the blunette cyborg, moving into his one of his classic Franky poses. He also seemed to ignore the startled soprano screams of those he was talking to.
"Franky! What the hell, man! You know I have being-sneaked-up-on-by-a-large-cyborg-itis! You could have killed me!" Usopp screamed at the shipwright who just seemed amused at the discovery of this new disease.
"My bad, sniper-bro! What are you two dudes doing?" Usopp's mind went into overdrive to think of the perfect lie to tell the metal man. It needed to be believable but also make himself look amazing. That was the secret to a perfect lie; finding the balance between realistic and fantastical. Dragons? No, far too tame. Sanji finding a woman who'd appreciate him as much as he appreciated her body? Too extraordinary. Inspiration struck him in a moment of clarity.
"I was entertaining Chopper with tales of my mysterious and dangerous origins."
"Ohhh, that's right! I heard you mention your father was a member of the Red-haired Pirates!" Franky seemed to buy the liar's tale, much to his relief. Chopper on the other hand, was about to call Usopp out until he became distracted by the cyborg's comment.
"Ehhhhh?! Really?! Usopp, you never told me that! Does that mean your mother was also a pirate?" Chopper didn't forget about their previous conversation, but he needed to express how freaking cool that is. He would always regret that he missed the opportunity otherwise.
Usopp immediately wished he came up with a better lie. It wasn't as if he was ashamed of where he came from, and he did have some great memories of his mother before she passed away, but it hurt to remember how weak he was before he left Syrup Village with Luffy. Both Chopper and Franky met him after he set sail to become a great warrior of the sea. He didn't want them to see him as the immature boy who would run through his village and warn loudly about the attacking pirates he knew didn't exist. He still can't justify his actions to himself. Sure, he did it when his mother was sick in bed to give her hope that her child's father would return again someday. But he continued to do it daily after she passed in a pathetic attempt to convince himself that he still had family that would come back for him. It wasn't a pretty picture to remember and he didn't want his friends to see him as the boy he was, rather than the devilishly handsome and powerful man he is.
"My home wasn't that amazing. Well, it was because I was there, but that's all really. My mom used to weave baskets and waitress. She and my father were very much in love. But my mother knew that my dad, Yasopp, was born to sail the sea and didn't stop him when he went to rejoin Shank's crew. She was an amazing woman. She didn't need to be some infamous figure to be a great mother to me. She was kind and loved me. That's all I could ask for. I think she would've liked Kaya."
Despite the waterfall that poured down the shipwright's face, he insisted that he wasn't crying. Even as he strummed his sad guitar and said he'd write a song about the beautiful memories of a mother and son. Chopper had a teary smile. The story reminded him of his own experiences with Dr. Hiriluk, even if Usopp wasn't the reason his mother died. With a small hum, the doctor decided more conversation was needed before his thoughts became too dark.
"Who's Kaya?"
"She's a friend from my hometown. Oh, she's also the one who gave us the Going Merry years ago." Usopp desperately hoped the blunette wouldn't do what he expected him to.
"A friend? A girl?"
Usopp's hopes crumbled. The cyborg looked as if he found sixty new flavours of Cola.
"Could our cowardly marksman possibly have…." He paused to create the maximum effect, "...a girlfriend?"
The yells of fervent denial and Franky's laughter had Chopper holding his more sensitive ears with his hooves. The reindeer was beyond baffled. What was a girlfriend and how could having one possibly justify this excited reaction?
"Oi. Who turned our sniper into a tomato?" It seemed the noise attracted attention as Zoro climbed down from the crow's nest. With convenient timing, Sanji also left his kitchen then for the same reason.
"Pfft. Like you can talk, you walking carrot." The curly-browed man would die before he let moss-head go a day without him mocking that stupid green hair.
"Say that again, you shit-cook!"
Zoro unsheathed Shusui as the blonde pervert pulled out a cigarette. The cook and the swordsman's oncoming spat was interrupted before it even began by the innocent doctor.
"Usopp? What's a girlfriend?" Silence descended upon all who were present. Usopp was trying to think of a way to answer without the cyborg teasing him more. Franky was unsurprised about the reindeer's query and stayed quiet in the hopes that the sniper would respond and give more material to mock him with. Sanji crashed onto his knees in despair that such a cruel world could raise a child that does not understand the wonders of a lady. It seemed that Zoro had somehow fallen asleep standing up. They've been sailing for years and somehow the swordsman still found ways to surprise them.
Suddenly, the cook leapt to his feet with fire in his eyes. He was a man on a mission. The innocent reindeer was almost 18 years of age and it was the job of a real gentleman to show the poor creature just what he's been missing.
"Don't worry Chopper. I will educate your young and so easily impressionable mind!"
"Get away from him swirly-brow! Don't force your perverted ideas onto him!" Zoro wasn't about to sit back and let swirly-brow turn Chopper into his clone. Robin would murder them all for that, regardless of whose fault it was. It may have been years, but the images of Franky joining the crew still haunt most of the males aboard. Especially Franky himself. The cyborg refuses to talk about it still, but his eyes teared when Chopper last asked about the pain.
Usopp took this tense moment to slip away into the ship before Franky remembered why this was all happening in the first place. Franky himself had a mix of emotions. On one hand, he wanted to go follow the sniper and mock him mercilessly. But on the other, it looked like the little doctor was about to be ripped in half by Zoro and Sanji who grabbed onto one of his arms each and began a game of tug-of-war in the heat of the moment. The cyborg usually avoided getting in between those two for the sake of his health, but the little guy in the middle wasn't looking too good. Luckily, the shipwright was saved from his moral conundrum when their captain finally came to see what the hubbub was about. Luffy was not a smart man. In fact, many have said they've never met a bigger idiot. But even he could tell that something about this situation seemed strange. But what could it be? He looked at Franky; nothing strange there. Zoro and Sanji? No, they're fighting like usual. But wait! They've got some brown stretchy ball they're pulling around. Luffy scratched his head, knocking his straw hat to the back of his neck. That brown ball looked very familiar.
"Oh, that's you, Chopper! Chopper, when did you eat a gum-gum fruit?" The reindeer was being stretched to degrees that should've been possible for Luffy and Luffy alone, so the question was actually not as stupid as it sounded.
"I...ugh...didn't." Chopper was barely able to wheeze out.
The two men who were pulling finally realized what they were doing to their poor friend and dropped him unceremoniously onto the deck with an apology. Luffy wasn't sure if he should say anything, but the stretching they did to Chopper did make him look kinda… wider. Behind the doctor, Franky also seemed to notice the difference in Chopper and silently pulled out some measuring tape to estimate the doctor's new width. The reindeer didn't seem to notice and asked his captain what a girlfriend was.
"Hmmm, I dunno. But I'm not good with words. Shishishishishi! Robin reads a lot though, so she should be. We should ask her!"