(A/N: ooh, I've never done a one shot before! Is that one word? Oneshot? or one shot? i don't know. Anyhu, here is my 1shot (haha, clever). I was really bored and on a road trip of my own so I typed this up. Fiyero may seem a little OOC, but yeah...I hope you likes! please review!)
"ARE WE THERE YET?!" asked Liir loudly. He clenched his eyes shut, because when he opened his mouth that wide to yell, he didn't have enough room on his face to keep his eyes open. Elphaba smiled softly at him, he was just adorable.
"Shh." she whispered, "You'll wake up your sister." Little Linny sat in her seat with her head resting on the shoulder part of the seat belt, her mouth wide open.
"Does it look like we're there?" asked Fiyero through clenched teeth.
"How'm I s'posed ta know if I'ves never been there before?!" Liir shouted, giving Fiyero an incredulous look that looked adorable on his little 4 year old face. Elphaba rolled her eyes as he kept yelling. It really was a lost cause trying to get him to shut up. And besides, there were only two words that woke up Linny: food and clowns. Nobody could really explain the clowns...
"Sweety, we're going to Aunt Galinda's house, we've been there before, remember?" said Elphaba, turning around in her seat. Liir groaned loudly and squinted his eyes and he opened his mouth to whine.
"But that lady smiles too much!" Liir whined.
"See!" Fiyero said as he kept driving, "I told you we shouldn't have brought him! Galinda's scares the shit out him! Do you know how many diapers he went through in one day because he peed his pants every time Galinda walked into the room?"
"Fiyero! Language!" Elphaba hissed, "And he's potty trained now anyway. And he's couldn't be scared of Galinda, she smiley!"
"Exactly!" Fiyero and Liir shouted at the same time, throwing their hands in the air. It was rather cute actually. They both rolled their eyes in synchronization and said, "Duh." at the same time.
"Why do you think children are afraid of clowns?" asked Fiyero.
"What?" asked Elphaba, truly surprised, "Children love clowns!"
"No we don't." Liir and Linny said at the same time. Linny had woken up: clowns. She and Liir were twins, and they loathed each other, well, they loathed each other until they needed each other to fulfill a devious plan to outwit or get revenge on someone they both loathed.
"Why not?" asked Elphaba.
"They remind me of Auntie Galinda!" Liir whined.
"But I love Auntie Galinda!" Linny argued, "You just don't like her because she's a girl and you're afraid of girls."
"That's not true! I'm not afraid of mommy, and she's a girl."
"Oh yes she is." Fiyero said, wiggling his eyebrows at Elphaba.
"Fiyero!" she yelled and hit him on the arm, the car swerved as he lost his grip on the steering wheel for a moment. He grinned at her.
"I couldn't resist!" he chuckled.
"Mom, you're not going to beat up daddy again are you?" asked Linny.
"What are you talking about?" asked Liir, "Daddy loves it."
"What are you talking about?" asked Linny, raising an eyebrow.
"Haven't you ever listened to them at night?" asked Liir, "He's all: oh yes, right there, oh yeah, harder--"
"LIIR!" Fiyero and Elphaba shouted.
"What?!" Liir whined, "I didn't do anything!"
"Haha," Linny mocked, "You got in trouble."
"Shut up Linny." Liir grumbled.
"Hey, we don't say shut up!" said Elphaba.
"But she says it all the time!" Liir whined.
"Do not!" Linny snapped.
"Do too!"
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
"Do not!"
"Do not!"
"What?"
"I mean...uh....Do too!"
"You're so stupid!"
"No you're stupid!"
"Your face is stupid!"
"Your arm is stupid!"
"Your leg is stupid!"
"Your neck is stupid!"
"Your eyebrow is stupid!"
"Your nostril is stupid!"
"Your pituitary gland is stupid!"
"Your epiglottis is stupid!"
"Your trachea is stupid!"
"Your alveoli glands are stupid!"
"Your endocrine system is stupid!"
"Your circulatory system is stupid!"
"Your cabbage patch doll is stupid!" Linny declared.
"Hey! Don't say mean things about Ms. Fooffi!" Liir yelled, "That is UNCALLED for young lady, do you hear me? UNCALLED for!"
"Your face is uncalled for!"
"Your arm is uncalled for!"
"Your butt is un--"
"SHUT UP!" Fiyero yelled.
"FIYERO!" everyone in the car scolded him. Fiyero threw his hands up in the air.
"Really?!" asked Fiyero, "Really, I'm the one that gets scolded?" he asked Elphaba, "What about them? Did you hear them? How come they didn't get in trouble?"
"Yero, you're being immature, you are a grown man--" Elphaba began.
"But--" Fiyero began.
"Shh!" Elphaba hissed at him. Liir and Linny giggled at Fiyero.
"Oh hush." Fiyero said to them. The burst into fits of giggles then. Elphaba smiled at them, thinking they were cute and Fiyero rolled his eyes and mocked them.
"Hahahahaha." he said in a high voice. Elphaba gave him a stern look and he stopped, making Liir and Linny laugh even harder.
ONE HOUR LATER
"I'M HUNGRY!" Liir yelled, "I COULD EAT--!"
"A cow?" Linny supplied.
"YOU!" Liir whined, "I WOULD EVEN EAT YOU AND YOU PROBABLY TASTE LIKE YARN POOP!"
"Yarn doesn't poop genius!" Linny scowled.
"Linny's right." Elphaba said.
"DADDY!" Liir yelled, when he realized his mom was siding with Linny, "I'M HUNGRY! DID YOU HEAR ME?! I'M HUNGRY!"
"Well, we don't have any food in the car." said Fiyero, "All we have is gum. Chew on that for a while."
"But I already have gum." Liir whined, "AND I'M HUNGRY!"
"Then swallow it!" Fiyero snapped irritably.
gulp
"FIYERO!"