Disclaimer: I do not own Stephenie Meyer's stories under any ways legally; I'm just a writer and I write. Go Jacob.
Inside of my truck's cab I heard nothing but the pounding the tires made against the dirt and the beat of my heart as I crossed the border to La Push. The sun was still throbbing blissfully in the sky as one of those rare days on the Olympic Peninsula in which there is weather that is a fraction as nice of what it was in Phoenix- not that the rain is bad.
It isn't bad.
It's just that since he left, I have been reminded of the tremendous amount of love-lost trying to get here. And now that I am here, I see what I have left and all it is is a broken heart and hormonal breakdowns every so often and then again, rain.
Charlie has seen me down all the time and I know how he feels about him, but lately I have begun to forgive and forget all because of one thing that has entered my life and seemed to have purged all the guilt, and heartbreak, and also the feeling of something that I've done wrong- a friend. I had often heard that laughter is a cure, but every time I hear myself laugh it comes out throaty, and disgustingly irregular that I don't want to laugh anymore. Even though there isn't much to laugh at Jacob Black always seems to bring up something that makes me want to embarrass myself over with my stupid laugh.
Ever since he left, riding in the car is sometimes an everyday task that takes some effort to perform. I keep on imagining that somehow, even though he doesn't love me anymore, that he would show up in my car- hold me and keep away all of the thoughts that always run through my tattered and polluted mind.
It never happens.
So, when it doesn't happen every time I get in the car I take a minute to sit in the drivers seat with my forehead pushed up against the wheel trying not to be such a lunatic so when I go to Jacob's house I don't get kicked out by Billy- because being kicked out of that house would be even worse than death, because without Jacob I knew I would die. What would I ever do without him?
Over the past week things had been weird between Jacob and I. It was like kindergarten all over again where there is all of the awkward silence and messed up speech. I had noticed lately that Jacob couldn't look at me. It made me upset because I just keep thinking that something is wrong with me, and he doesn't want to see my face, when I want to see his smiling one.
He called me almost every morning promptly at nine to invite me over to hang out. I had, for the past couple of months, excepted, and hung over for most of the day. I never felt as guilty as this because I knew all of the time that Billy sat alone in that old house on the couch watching his favorite teams battle it out in baseball and football games. I had asked Charlie if he had talked to Billy lately and he would always assure me that he and Billy would get together soon and watch a game or go fishing together.
"Are you sure?" I would say to Charlie. Charlie pursed his lips and rubbed my head and acted like I was the little girl that he lost to her teenage years. He nods his head yes.
"Bella, there is nothing to worry about, Billy and I are going to be getting together this sunday for the big game. And I talked on the phone with him and he said that he was happy staying at home and he liked that Jacob wasn't there waiting on his hand and foot."
"Why would he be happy about that?" I said sarcastically. I tossed my hair back in to a ponytail not waiting for his answer and already heading with my keys to my car.
"Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella! Just wait a minute!" He ran after me gasping in the hallway holding on to my shoulder for support.
"What, dad, are you okay? Do you want me to stay home?" I set my hand on his shoulder and once he caught his breath he looked up at me with the chocolate brown eyes mirroring my own.
He swung his arm in the air. "No, or course not! You're a kid and I'm the old middle aged dad." I raised my eyebrow feeling a little older than most normal teenagers. "You go have fun!"
He smiled wildly as I nodded at him heading slightly to the door. "So, what did you need?"
"Billy is happy to be alone because he knows that Jacob is with you... Jacob likes you." he said quietly.
"Yeah, so?" I said indifferently.
"Well, this wouldn't be the first time a boy would like you." he waited for my expression and when I didn't show one he continued on. "So, just tell me if he hurts you if you ever do give him a chance."
"What makes you think I'll give him a chance?" I say feeling a little bit hurt.
He shrugs. "Jacob is a nice boy. I think you and him have a lot in common- you're a little bit different than everyone else."
I nod my head quickly. "Okay, thanks for the facts dad. I'm going over there right now so if you need anything just call my cell." I moved closer and kissed his forehead. "Love you."