It had been just over four months since the titans had been dealt with. People were beginning to inhabit the lands outside of the great walls once more and cities and villages were springing up everywhere. For the first time in many generations there was real peace.
Eren and Armin had decided to build a place for the two of them to live together, but apart from large crowds of people. They chose to build a two storey stone walled house with a blue slate roof and a large oak door, not far from a large river which dammed to the west of the house. The landscape was an endless expanse of rolling hills, little flowery meadows and dense thickets of trees that dared to be called woods. At dust the sky set ablaze and the silent inferno reflected haphazardly into the lake waters, witnessed only by the two of them and the infinite insectral choir. Building the house had been hard work, the stones so heavy that it took the two of them to lift them into place and cement them down. Of course Mikasa had offered ample help but the two refused, they wished to build it from the ground up by themselves. Armin had commented saying that house was like their relationship, the effort and love the two of them had put into it had made something stronger than the challenges they had faced while building it.
"Idiot..." Eren whispered under his breath, remembering Armin's words as they lay in bed. The dumb grin on his face could only be the result of his dumb boyfriends' even dumber words. Placing his hand on his head, Eren dragged his fingers through his silky blonde hair feeling the strands flow like water across his skin. He repeated the motion a couple of times and decided to draw back the covers a little revealing Armin's' slender back. Eren traced the muscles with his fingertips, following each curve with so much care. He loved the way Armin shuddered a little as he stroked the full length of his back, the gentle rise and fall of his sleeping breaths, and the way his pale skin was contoured by the bones of his shoulders and the ridge of his spine. It was a landscape on its' own and one he could explore for the longest time. The only thing Eren disliked about the scene was the countless silver scars that littered his flawlessness with jagged lines and awful knots. Each a memento of the war they had fought, the horrors they had seen. Eren carefully avoided touching these with his fingers, afraid of the memories contained within. He was lucky, he supposed. He had no scars on his own skin, a small compensation for his being a monster, for that is what shifters really were. Monsters. At least, he thought so.
Eren sighed and ceased his exploration, dropping his hand flat on Armin's back. It was wet all of a sudden but before Eren had a chance to register his confusion Armin began moaning in his sleep and squirming uncomfortably under the covers.
"Armin, are you okay?" he whispered, concerned by his partners sudden discomfort.
"No…I… Eren…Take my hand Eren…"
"I'm right here Armn. Hey, wake up dumby!"
"Eren, please… EREN NOOOOO!"
With a spine chilling scream Armin sat upright faster than a bolt, his sky blue eyes tearing apart the room in search for Eren and when they locked gazes is was clear there was real fear. Armin glanced towards Eren's arm for a moment then pulled it towards him, beholding it fully and feelings it's warmth for a while before deciding it was really there and beginning to cry softly, pressing his face into Eren's shoulder.
Eren, in his shock, could only wrap his arms around Armin and rub his back softly as he settled down.
Once Armin had stopped crying enough to speak, he pushed free of Eren's arms and stared into his face.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled, getting a little embarrassed now and rubbing his eyes clear of tears with the back of his hand. "I just…"
"I know. I get them too, sometimes." Eren paused for a moment, "Actually I get them a lot. What did you dream about?" he asked, knowing full well what the answer would probably be. Armin took his time recalling his dream before blurting out
"I was on the roof top during our first deployment. You'd just pulled me out from the titan's mouth and you were eaten alive. Your arm bitten right off! I saw the despair in your eyes as its jaws snapped shut and Eren, you died. And I just sat there and watched you die!" His voice shaky and close to tears again, "I can't keep seeing that, if I see it once more I think I might actually break down and..." Armin cut off and just stared down into his lap unable to finish his sentence.
"Listen, Armin. It's okay." Eren reassured, "Look at me! Am I dead? No, I'm alive. You're alive. We're both alive, together and there're no more titans around either. We're in a good place right now, it was just a bad dream, okay?"
"I know that, but that doesn't mean that the memories are any less real. You really did die in front of me that day you know."
"I know. I'm sorry."
In truth Eren was a little confused by his words but that wasn't going to stop him from comforting him. He turned his head to stare up at the ceiling and began
"I see their faces sometimes. I see them as I try to fall asleep. I see Marco, Petra, Mom, Hannes… I see them smiling and laughing and then I see them dead. Covered in blood and broken." Eren took a breath. "How could people be broken like that Armin? Like broken sticks, their arms jutting out at strange angles. It haunts me you know, seeing their bodies like that. People were never meant to be broken like that."
He turned to look at Armin again who was now staring intently at him, concern thick in his eyes. Armin raised his hand and placed it on Eren's cheek.
"Are you okay?" He asked flatly,
"I don't think any of us are. Not really anyway." Eren replied.
Armin held his gaze for a moment longer and then smiled.
"True." He muttered then pushed Eren to lie back down on the bed, taking this opportunity to cuddle up to him and rest his head on Eren's chest.
"We just need time, Armin" Concluded Eren, "That's all. We've just seen some horrific things, and we've lost so much. We have a future ahead of us now, so let's continue to build it. We'll eventually stop having the nightmares and we'll come to terms with what happened."
"I'm not sure if I want to come to terms with it."
"They're dead, Armin. No amount of bad thoughts or rejecting what happened is going to bring them back. What happened, happened. You're just going to hurt yourself if you don't accept it and move on."
"When did you become so wise, oh great guru Jaeger?" Armin laughed under his breath. "Show me the path to inner peace and happiness oh enlightened one!"
"Shut up you dork!" retorted Eren with mild resentment, "You I'm right."
"I know you are."
They lay there in silence for a few minutes, thinking over these heavy thoughts. When Armin couldn't bear to dwell on them any longer he turned his head and began kissing Eren's neck, slowly making his way to his lips. Eren's eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted and Armin pressed his own against them. Much to his shock however, Eren then grunted and roller over. He had fallen asleep in the few minutes of silence and was now snoozing like a child who'd ran far too much and much too far during his waking hours.
Armin chuckled in disbelief,
"I love you, you know that right?" he whispered, then kissed him once more and went to sleep beside him.